i'm tired of life and being let down and hurt and strung along by assholes. i don't know that i will ever be capable of trusting anyone ever again. where is there even a shred of decency? what's worse is i know it's not just me, it happens to everyone i know. how are the decent people i know getting severely fucked over the same way i have? i don't ( Read more... )

well, i'm an idiot. i do it to myself. it hurts and sucks and it's all my own goddamn fault. i wish this would resolve itself or just go away all together. you're there and i fall, it's completely effortless. i hate giving in to the concept of maybe it's just not the right time. if not now, then when? it's stupid to keep thinking i can't help it ( Read more... )

oh my, i exploded today.

repressed feelings are scary when they become tangible and you realize how much you really hurt.

i hurt alot because of this and i had no idea.

i was too stupid to take notice when it took place and after the fact i realize how much it all hurts. so, i'm an idiot.

the end.

ps...moon river, best song ever.

is it terrible to admit that being an unshowered, self important, basket case, who lays in bed for three days with a migraine, incessantly watching a show about overly self involved and dramatic doctors, stumbling around my apartment wearing sweat pants, a wife beater, and glasses with what without argument could be considered the messiest hair ( Read more... )

maybe this won't work out and maybe thats okay.

i wish it was easier to disregard these romantic feelings.

a 50% chance of things working out just isn't good enough for me anymore. pick up the pieces, move along, proceed to business as usual.

so, i realized today has been a year since i've been out in the world without him. although he lets me run back when i need him, it's not that same feeling of completion. we've been in pieces for an entire year and i really can't believe it. i don't know if i should be proud of where i am or sad that it never worked. well, when the going gets tough ( Read more... )

how can this just now be occuring to me? as each day passes i realize more and more how little i know. how i'm just walking around in the dark all the time without really having any idea as to what i'm actually doing. i feel so pretentious giving anyone advice. i don't know a thing so how can i go throwing my two cents in everywhere? it just seems ( Read more... )

wouldn't it be nice if sleepless nights could always be followed by sleep in days? alas, responsibility leaves me no choice but to succumb. at least i was up late with good reason.