The Road to Beth-lee-hem 1/2
Title: The Road to Beth-lee-Hem
Author: Swanseajill
Rating: PG, Gen
Characters: Wee!Dean and Wee!Sam
Pairing: None
Warnings: None
Disclaimer: I don't own these characters nor am I making any money from them
Word count: 2160
Notes: Thanks to iamstealthyone as always for the wonderful beta job
Summary: Response to the prompt on the spn_christmas list: Wee!Dean helps Wee!Sam learn his lines for the school nativity play.
The Road to Beth-lee-hem
by Swanseajill
1/2
“Deeeeean!”
“Sammy, what?”
“You said you’d test me on my lines for the nativity play.”
“I’m busy. Can we do it later?”
“Dean, you promised. The play’s next week and I need to know my lines real good, and Mrs. Patton says my part’s real important ’cause it’s the only speaking part.”
“Yeah? What’s the part, then?”
“I’m the natterer.”
“Huh?”
“That’s the part, Dean. The natterer.”
“Oh! You mean ‘narrator’.”
“That’s what I said.”
“No, it wasn’t.”
“Was.”
“Was not!!”
“Deeeeean…”
“Whatever.”
“Please, Dean.”
“All right. We’ve got a couple of hours before Dad gets home. It’s just like you to get a part you have to study for. Couldn’t you have been a donkey, or something?”
“Uh…”
“Is this the script? Who’s Dasher?”
“That’s me. I’m a talking donkey. I got a cool costume and everything!”
“The narrator’s a donkey?”
“What’s wrong with that?”
“Nothing, I guess, but Dasher isn’t a donkey’s name. Dasher’s one of Santa’s reindeer.”
“So?”
“So, the nativity’s about Jesus, not Santa Claus.”
“So?”
“Well - can’t you have a different name?”
“Like what?”
“Dunno. How about Dopey?”
“Dean, that’s a dwarf!”
“Feakazoid?”
“That’s silly! And it says Dasher in the script.”
“Okay, okay. Your name’s Dasher the Donkey. Go on then. You start off and I’ll tell you if you get any words wrong.”
“Hee-haw! Hee-haw! Hello everybody. My name is Dasher and I’m here to tell you the story of when the baby Jesus was born. Our story begins when Joseph and his fancy Mary-”
“Hold it!”
“What?”
“His fancy Mary? What, she’s dressed up real nice or somethin’? It’s ‘fiancee,’ you moron.”
“Don’t call me a moron!”
“D’you even know what a fiancé is?”
“Course!”
“What is it, then?”
“It’s a… it’s a…”
“It means they’re engaged to be married, Sammy.”
“Oh. Okay.”
“Start that line again.”
“Our story begins when Joseph and his fee-an-say Mary set out on a trip to Beth-lee-hem. They had to travel there from their home in Na-za-reth in Ga… Ga…”
“Galilee.”
“Ga-lily because August was taking a sen-sus. Dean, what’s a sen-sus?”
“It’s like when you have to count all the people in a place.”
“Why?”
“To know how many people there are.”
“Why?”
“So they know there’s enough food and stuff to go around. And it’s Augustus, not August. Keep going.”
“It wasn’t a good time for them to travel because Mary was with a child.”
“With child.”
“S’what I said.”
“No, Sammy, you said, ‘With a child.’”
“So?”
“Well, it’s wrong. She’s with child!”
“Whose child is she with?”
“No, dumbass. She isn’t with someone’s child, she’s with child. It means she’s going to have a baby.”
“That’s stupid, Dean. Why doesn’t it just say that?”
“How should I know?”
“Okay. Mary’s with child. It was a long way to Beth-lee-hem. Joseph walked while Mary rode on a donkey. That’s me. Hee-haw! Hee-haw! Hey, Dean, Danny Wallis told me a cool joke about a donkey today. What do you call a donkey’s stable when it's really dirty? An ass-hole!”
“That’s pretty funny, but you’ll catch it if Dad hears you saying ‘asshole’!”
“You say it all the time.”
“Yeah, but I don’t get caught. Keep going. You’re doing good so far, Sammy.”
“Okaaaay. Next the choir sings ‘Little Donkey,’ and while they’re singing I have to walk around the hall carrying Jenny Picoult on my back.”
“Dude, way to go! Isn’t Jenny the one you kissed at the Halloween party?”
“Dean! We was dunking apples!”
“Oh, yeah? So why’ve you gone red, Sammy?”
“Dean, you’re disgustin’ and I wouldn’t kiss Jenny anyway ‘cause girls are disgustin,’ too!”
“Whatever. Keep going.”
“When the choir’s finished, I’m back on.”
“Is Jenny still on you?”
“No. Jenny and Billy - he’s playing Joseph - go off the stage. Meanwhile, far, far away in the East, there were three wise men who studied the stars. They saw a very special bright star and began to follow it through the desert on camels. What kind of camels do you think they were, Dean?”
“Why? Does it matter?”
“I just wanna know. D’you think they had one hump or two, like those ones we saw in the zoo last week?”
“I guess they’d probably have two, ’cause it was a long way to walk through the desert to Bethlehem, and they’d have to store a lot of water.”
“Those ones in the zoo, their humps were all floppy. Why were they floppy?”
“’Cause they’d used up all their water, I guess. Sammy, are we doing this or what?”
“Then the choir sings ‘We Three Kings,’ and the kings have to walk all the way round the hall pretending to be on camels, but there aren’t any camels because Miss Jackson couldn’t find any costumes, and then it’s my turn again.”
“Okay.”
“ … ”
“Sammy?”
“I’ve forgot the words! Tell me what comes next.”
“When Joseph and Mary arrived in Bethlehem they checked into the Hilton Hotel and ordered room service.”
“Huh? I don’t remember that!”
“That’s ’cause I made it up.”
“Deeeean! How can I learn my lines if you make me get it wrong?”
“Sorry. When Joseph and Mary arrived in Bethlehem…”
“… they went to all the inns one by one but none of them had a room. Dean, what’s an inn?”
“It’s like a motel, only they park donkeys, not cars.”
“You can’t park a donkey!”
“Okay. They tie their donkeys to a post.”
“Cool. Like in a Western, where they have an itchy rail. Do they call it that because the donkeys can scratch themselves on it?”
“It’s not an itchy rail, it’s a hitching rail. Yeah, like that. Will you stop asking questions and get on with it? Dad’ll be home soon.”
“Hey, Dean, d’you think he’ll bring a tree?”
“Yeah, right, like there’s room for a tree in this tiny motel room.”
“But I want a tree!”
“Don’t get all girlie about it. Dad said we’re going to Pastor Jim’s for Christmas. He’ll have a tree.”
“Will he let us dec’rate it?”
“He did last year. Don’t you remember, Sammy? You fell off a stool trying to put the angel on the top when Dad told you not to and banged your head.”
“I don’t ’member.”
“I guess that’s because you banged your head. Okay … They tried all the inns but none of them had a room…”
“They tried all the inns but none of them had a room. Then at the very last inn the innkeeper felt sorry for Mary and Joseph and let them sleep in his stable with the animals.”
“Nasty! I bet that smelled real bad. They were probably sleeping in a pile of crap!”
“Dean, that’s gross.”
“Well, I bet that’s how it was. Keep going.”
Go to part two