The State of the Swankivy - July 15 - July 21

[swankivy]

The week in review:

• Saturday I got up early, had breakfast, and got dressed/packed for Metrocon. Jeaux picked me up and dropped me at the con, and we met up later. The panel he wanted to go to didn't materialize for us, so we just walked around looking at costumes and shopping in the dealer room. (He bought a poster. I bought some earrings.) I was

Comments

[canadanne]

The birds!!! You seem to get all kinds of wildlife in your house!

[canadanne]

I only just had a chance to watch your latest YouTube video. It was very powerful and moving. I remember you talking about the relative who'd screamed abuse at you, and I concluded at the time that it probably wasn't your mother, since you'd given examples of her being supportive about your asexuality... how awful and shocking that outburst must have been. I'm so sorry you had to deal with her saying all these things and not fully accepting who you are. I relate so hard to everything you said about wanting to be understood - I *hate* being mischaracterised and accused of things that couldn't be further from the truth, especially when it comes from people close to me, who ought to know me better. (I also hated my Mum calling me a "typical teenager" which not only felt dismissive of my individuality, but was totally inaccurate - I was nothing like my peers and felt very alienated most of the time. I actually ranted about that phrase when I had to write an essay in an exam once, haha.) Your parents have known you for your whole life and

[swankivy]

Yeah, it was super out of the blue to hear her say such awful stuff after she'd been on the surface supportive. (Overall it wasn't too surprising for her to insist that I held beliefs or values that I didn't, though. She was very big on projection.) You're right, it's just so hurtful when someone just blurts out these nasty, untrue things that are not only incorrect, but demonstrate that they just haven't been listening, haven't paid attention to who you are, and want to weaponize their closeness to you as a means of suggesting they have special insight. I hated that I had to pull back on what I shared with my mom because she would use it against me or start an argument or just forget what I said as if it wasn't important anyway. I really do like to share my whole self if I can, and it's such a hard lesson to learn that sometimes people will make you sorry if you do want to share your true self. Thank you for the support. It's definitely cathartic to share some things I couldn't before. (And I wasn't familiar with the Larkin poem. I

[canadanne]

Oh yeah, I doubt he meant it 100% literally - just a touch of dry British humour. :)