Comments | swankivy: Old journal 6/10/02

swankivy

Old journal 6/10/02

Sep 09, 2010 21:43

I've kept a daily journal for approximately a third of my life. I'm reading over some of the entries in order to assist me in reconstructing the most recent parts of my autobiography (as I'm writing it), and I just came across this annoying thing ( Read more... )

asexual, drive-by assholes, ranting

Comments 2

rehime September 10 2010, 19:04:18 UTC

On one of the blogs I follow there has been a discussion on society's relative ease in telling women what they SHOULD be feeling, eating, dating, what have you. Like "advising" someone on the amount of partners they should have (too low -- prude. too high -- slut!), and the interesting parallel between this and fat-shaming. There's a similar process going on with heavier women -- telling them what they should be eating, "informing" them of their weight as if they weren't aware of it, and generally this faux-concern for their health. Like you said, it's none of your business. Bodies are our own and feelings are as well.

I have found your posts on asexuality very interesting, and both commend and feel for you when you have to deal with people who think they know what's best for you. This is truly something of concern and something women have to deal with in some shape or form.

swankivy September 13 2010, 17:15:01 UTC

You're right. People in general (even other females) find it socially acceptable to tell women what to feel. Sometimes it's subtle and sometimes it's blatant, but it's everywhere--you need this, you should want this, you aren't a successful/worthy human being if you don't have this, your purpose in life is this. It's actually hard to NOT internalize that, even if you know you don't personally believe it. It's hard to live as a female in a society that automatically wonders what's wrong with you if you're in your thirties and never been married. In my case (I'm 32), I'm reasonably attractive, and so people assume that since I theoretically "could" catch a guy, it's really mysterious as to why I haven't done so. The immediate inclination of the masses is to assume I must have a personality issue that drives everyone away, or of course that I'm a lesbian. The idea that I might have chosen singlehood out of anything but desperation and failure really does not occur to people. The closest thing people can generally comprehend is ( ... )