The Art of Deception (Yunho x Jaejoong) - Chapter Seventeen
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The Art of Deception (Chapter Seventeen)
Pairing: Yunho (DBSK) x Jaejoong (DBSK).
Category: K-Pop.
Length: Multi-chaptered.
Genres: Angst, drama, humor, romance.
Rating: PG-13.
Warning: Homosexuality, light swearing, sexual implications, violence.
Summary: Yunho is a rich son who’s never done anything to earn his own money. Attending snobby diners and appearing in social events with his parents is more than he can take, so he decides to run away, thinking that surely life is better elsewhere - anywhere but his place. Little does he know that it doesn’t get any better in the slums. His thirst for adventure will be quenched - a little too much. Enter street Kabuki actor Kim Jaejoong!
Chapter One
Chapter Two
Chapter Three
Chapter Four
Chapter Five
Chapter Six
Chapter Seven
Chapter Eight
Chapter Nine
Chapter Ten
Chapter Eleven
Chapter Twelve
Chapter Thirteen
Chapter Fourteen
Chapter Fifteen
Chapter Sixteen
***
[Yoochun’s POV]
Feeling my stomach start to eat itself from the inside, I grin and bear with it for now, used that I am to settling for small amounts of food every day. No use crying over that… Instead, I continue stirring the delicious-looking kimchi jjigae - with all due modesty, it does look very good, though it contains more kimchi than anything else, to be honest… Sometimes I wish I could feed all my boys a bowlful of nice meat, but it’s beyond anything we can afford.
Meat is a luxury that we hardly ever indulge in.
In the rare times when we actually do, it isn’t with the most honest means that we get our hands on it...
And so for now, I’m afraid that this will have to do.
Before, although I knew that what we were doing wasn’t right, it never really bothered me. All my life, I had stolen and cheated around merely to survive. There was neither time nor space for justice. Life had clearly not gone easy on us, so why should we have played fair when we were at a disadvantage from the very beginning? That’s what I thought and believed until I met him.
He… Yunho…
He had everything we had ever wanted - a lot more than we even needed, actually -, and despite that, he was ready to throw it all away to get a taste of what it felt like to be in our shoes.
At first… I thought he was insane. He had to be!
Who in their right minds would choose to live poorly when they had so much money they did not know what to do with all of it? His philosophy did not tally with my logic. Wasn’t Man’s first objective to meet his basic needs? Why was he doing the complete opposite? I honestly tried to make sense of this for a long time before I started to understand what he was trying to accomplish…
True, he had nothing to gain from this.
Maybe it was a little naïve. Maybe it was stupid.
But he got credit for getting himself out of his comfort zone on his own. That earned him my respect.
What wasn’t planned at the start was for him to join us… but before I knew what was happening, I started to like him. Slowly, he became one of us. And now…
It’s funny, but I can’t imagine life without him.
Smiling to myself, I glance over my shoulder to find him sprawled out on his stomach next to Minho, who is trying to put together the worn-out pieces of an old puzzle.
Taemin has climbed on Yunho’s back and is pretending to be a plane.
For a moment, I wonder where Kibum has wandered off to, but my eyes soon find him lying on the floor next to Sunghae. Both man and child are fast asleep. Changmin is sitting by the table, sipping a cup of tea, patiently waiting for the meal to be ready; for where there is food, there is Changmin. As for the rest of the troupe - the choir members -, they are rehearsing on stage at the moment. They have been in there for a while and since lunch time is almost here, they should be back any minute…
Getting back to my pots and pans, I turn off the stove, feeling - and smelling - that the food is ready.
That reminds me! Jaejoong is nowhere to be seen…
Well, I suppose he must be in one of the bedrooms, seeing how he was here a moment ago.
Since he might be sleeping, I don’t want to risk calling out his name, so I ask Yunho quietly.
“Can you go get Jaejoong, see what he’s doing? I’ll set out the plates for us before the others return.”
Nodding a little in acknowledgement, he accepts, motioning for Taemin to get off, which the boy of course does not comply to. Yunho has no choice but to roll gently to the side and cause the plane to crash soundlessly on the floor - while the pilot makes much too big of a deal out of it. Ever so mature, Minho puts his finger on his mouth, pointing to the sleeping pair next to them. “Shhhh!”
Shaking his head and laughing a little, Yunho picks himself up and heads for the bedroom.
As I get the dishes and start distributing the stew in the bowls, I prick up my ears, curious as to whether Jaejoong truly is sleeping or not, in which case he’ll show a piece of his mind to anyone who dares disturb his beauty sleep. Because if there’s something to know about him, it’s that he does not take kindly to being woken up... He gives a whole new meaning to the word “grouchiness”.
But his and Yunho’s voices suddenly rise and I don’t sense anyone dying anytime soon.
A body slides against the wall, probably down to the floor. “What are you doing?”
Jaejoong grumbles as an answer. Typical... “Writing.”
“Writing what?”
The sound of someone shuffling paper around. “Our next play. That a problem?”
Something bumps against the floor, like an elbow or a knee, indicating that one of them has moved from his previous spot. Yunho continues pushing his luck, but I’m not really worried about him. If Jaejoong did not want him around bothering him, he would have said so long ago. “Yes, it’s a problem. You should be rehearsing. I won’t forgive you if you suck on premiere night and embarrass us all.”
“I’ve known my lines forever. Not all of us are dumb and need an eternity to memorize them, y’know. I’m more worried about you screwing everything up…”
“Don’t be an ass. You know I’ll be great.”
“I’ll believe it when I see it.”
Both men chuckle, a clear sign that no real harm was meant.
And then nothing. Complete silence.
Huh? This is weird…
Furrowing my brow as I try to listen more closely, I put down the large serving spoon I am holding, straining my ears. Still nothing. As I walk towards the bedroom to call them both for lunch, thinking that I might have more success if I go with my own person - if you want something done, do it yourself, they say - I can pick up very slight ruffling sounds that I fail to identify. What are they doing…?
In just a few steps, I have crossed the kitchen and reached the bedroom.
I stop by the threshold and open my mouth…
…but no word comes out.
So this… is why they had suddenly grown silent.
Jaejoong is sitting cross-legged on the floor. The sheets he must have been holding moments ago lay forgotten on his lap, scattered. Yunho is on his knees and has one hand planted next to Jaejoong’s leg for support as he leans over him, while the other gently holds my lifelong friend’s face in place. Jaejoong’s hand is resting on Yunho’s backside, lazily, yet pulling him in closer at the same time…
The two of them are caught in an intimate embrace. Their lips are sealed into a quite passionate kiss - with tongues battling for power, the whole deal - and I can see Jaejoong smile against Yunho’s mouth...
Smile in a way that I know he never will for me.
I’ve… seen enough. More than enough.
I don’t know how much time goes by before I remember how to breathe. When I finally regain control of my body and it agrees to move again after being completely paralysed, I try to backtrack out of the room, but instead I bump into the door frame, alerting the two men who break apart quickly. Surprised, they both whirl around to look at me and pale considerably when they realise what just happened.
Jaejoong’s expression… I will never forget.
There is a mix of hurt, regret and understanding. A little bit of pity, too.
I suddenly feel very sick. Need to get out of here.
Making this my second attempt to escape, I dash out of the room as Jaejoong yells out my name, running after me. “Yoochun! Yoochun, wait! Stop! Aish, will you stop already…!”
Before I reach the front door, he catches me by the wrist by the doorstep and I come to a halt so sharply that he almost runs into me. “What is wrong with you?” He asks me, as if he did not very well know already, and I… before him, before this man that I love more than anyone or anything else in this goddamn rotten world… All I can do is look at him with overflowing eyes, wishing that I could hate him even for a second, just to make myself feel better for a while.
But I can’t. I love him far too much for that.
One thing is for sure, though: I do feel betrayed that he kept this from me… Furious, too. Damn furious. “…Are you fucking serious, Jaejoong? Are you seriously asking me what’s wrong?” As he looks at me, at a loss for words, I take out my anger on him without holding back. Whether he deserves it or not, I don’t know - and quite frankly, I don’t give a toss. “Don’t you fucking know already? Fuck!”
Fed up already, I attempt to get away, but Jaejoong grips my arms firmly, holding me back. “Hold on. You’re overreacting, Yoochun… Just sit down for a minute and-…”
When he opens his arms to welcome me in, for the first time in my life, maybe… I push him away, rejecting the display of affection without a second thought. Shocked, Jaejoong seems to be hurt by my reaction, but I no longer control my actions or emotions. This is such a hard, painful blow. “Was I the only one who didn’t know, the oblivious idiot this whole time…? Why didn’t you tell me?!”
He’s completely clueless. “I thought it was obvious-“
“It wasn’t! You never told me about you guys officially, so I kept hoping… I thought…”
At this point, it all gets too much for me to bear.
I can’t even finish my sentence. My words die in my throat.
But the worst thing is that he really looks like he’s suffering from all this. And to see Jaejoong suffer is the worst torture of all to me. “Yoochun… I know how you feel… I’m really sorry…” As he takes my face in his hands, caressing it like the most precious treasure, I feel myself melt under his touch and I almost forget what I just saw… but one thing keeps popping in my mind…
The sight of his hands and lips on Yunho. The man that he loves.
Not his best friend. His lover.
“No, you don’t know how I feel… You have no fucking idea! Stop pretending to understand!”
This time, I don’t let myself be fooled by his kind words and sweet promises. I break away from him and open the door before slamming it shut behind me, ignoring the protests still coming from inside. Unfazed by the attempts at an apology, I take to my heels, not to stop running for a very long time…
But reality has a way of catching up with you…
***
[Yunho’s POV]
Yoochun slams the door so strongly that it trembles in its hinges and threatens to fall down.
I wince at the loud noise, closing my eyes.
How can things fall apart so quickly? How can happiness suddenly feel so wrong?
I snap them back open when I hear Jaejoong make for the door in a rush, ready to dash after the man. But before he can even get as far as the front door, Changmin grabs his arms and prevents him from going out. Really upset, Jaejoong tries to fight back and wrestle his way out of Changmin’s steel grip, but he fails to and after a while, he gives up, listening to his younger friend’s wise words.
“Give him some space. He’ll come back. He always does.”
Profoundly crushed, Jaejoong settles down a little further away before his knees buckle under him.
And that leaves me feeling like the world’s biggest asshole.
Uneasy, I scan the room warily, noticing that Seunghae has retreated to one of the bedrooms with the children. That’s good… They shouldn’t have to see that. Now, the rest of the troupe chooses that (very inopportune) moment to walk into the room finally, but when they see Jaejoong collapsed on the floor with Changmin at his side, trying to comfort him to the best of his ability, they decide to join the others, leaving us to solve our problems ourselves, not wanting to interfere and make everything worse.
But Yoochun’s absence and the look on my face both say a lot about what transpired, if they have even the slightest idea what his feelings for Jaejoong are… and I would think that they do.
Looking at this messy situation, I just… I really don’t know what to make of myself.
As if he had sensed my inner turmoil, Junsu approaches me carefully, gauging my current state of mind. “I’m guessing Yoochun found out about Jaejoong and you… Am I right?”
To say that I am surprised would be an understatement.
“…How could you tell? And you knew about us?”
At these words, Junsu smiles at me sweetly - and with a touch of bitterness? - before taking me aside to another corner of the room while Changmin tries to reason with Jaejoong, who isn’t reacting well to Yoochun’s earlier outburst. “You guys aren’t the most subtle when it comes to showing your feelings for each other - or hiding them, for that matter. Yoochun’s love for Jaejoong goes way back, too, and Jaejoong doesn’t get that upset over a lot of things. It wasn’t really hard to put two and two together.”
I really feel like I have been underestimating Junsu all this time…
Since I know that I can trust him, I tell him what is on my mind. “I can’t help but feel like this is my fault… If I hadn’t incrusted myself in your lives, this wouldn’t have happened… I had no right to…”
If it turns out that I ruined their friendship, I’ll never be able to live with myself again.
Those two clearly are soulmates. How could I put myself between them?
This time, Junsu seems almost amused, but I don’t remember saying anything funny… “Yunho-hyung. Those two have known each other for more than twenty years. You think this is going to break them apart so easily? I don’t think this has even a slight chance of happening.”
That’s not what I meant…
Now downright miserable, I glance at Jaejoong askance, but he doesn’t look back. He looks completely out of it, overtaken by the events, but most of all… just… lost, I guess. My heart breaks once again. “…No, it’s just that… I don’t know… Yoochun must really hate me for popping out of nowhere and stealing his man.” Not only do I regret the fact that Jaejoong is affected by this… but I also feel remorse for hurting Yoochun, whom I have really grown fond of.
He’s an angel. He doesn’t deserve this.
Someone doesn’t seem to agree that I have grounds to worry, though.
Sincere dark orbs peer into mine, while a hand squeezes my shoulder comfortingly. Junsu begs to differ. “Yoochun likes you a lot, Yunho. I swear to you. But you have to understand Jaejoong was his first true love. Sadly, I don’t think he’ll ever love someone as much as he loves him… Jaejoong has never thought of Yoochun in a romantic sense, and that’s not going to change either. You didn’t do anything. That’s just the way it has always been. Yoochun’s going to have to accept that one day.”
Is that right? How I wish that he isn’t just saying that for my sake.
A little ray of hope creeps into my heart as I watch him expectantly.
Sensing that he has my full attention now, Junsu continues, and he seems to know what he’s talking about. “From what I recall, you’re the first person Jaejoong has ever been with. Jaejoong used to brush off anyone who tried to approach him with that in mind… so Yoochun could have him all to himself. But that is no longer true and Yoochun knows that. It scares him more than you think.”
If that’s true, then… Some things need to be said.
“I have no intention of keeping Jaejoong for myself. He needs to know…”
From then on, nothing else matters. I get to my feet and make for the door, ignoring Junsu’s advice that I might want to leave him be for now and talk to him when he will have calmed down a little. This is much too important; it cannot wait. I don’t think I have it in me to wait for him to return.
I don’t know where to look, but that does not stop me.
Not long after I leave, my stomach starts growling, seeing how I haven’t had anything to eat all day, and a thought crosses my mind, the thought of Yoochun’s meal prepared with love and dedication cooling on the kitchen counter, wonderful food that might go to waste in the end…
Well, nevermind that.
What matters at present is Yoochun. I need to make him understand that I’m not a threat to him.
Hours go by and I grow restless, wanting to get this sorted out as soon as possible…
When I am just about ready to give up, I spot him sitting on a rooftop, with his legs dangling off.
There you are.
A little nervous, but mostly relieved to see that he’s doing alright - or seems to, at first glance -, I walk up to the adjacent building and notice a pile of wooden boxes stacked next to it rather precariously. That must be how he managed to get up there… Since I don’t have much to lose by trying - it really isn’t that high -, I proceed to climb up to the top, surprising even myself when I succeed unscathed.
As I open my mouth to call his name, though, I notice that he isn’t alone.
My heart stops as none other than Bongchol steps out of the shadows from behind a chimney he must have been leaning on until now. Yoochun shows no signs of acknowledgment, but he’s talking to him.
I have a bad feeling about this… I just hope that Yoochun has nothing to do with him.
Curious, I get a little closer by hiding in their blind spot, very much aware that I could easily be caught.
Bongchol speaks up then, confirming some of my apprehensions. “I can help you get rid of that sissy papa’s boy. All you have to do is ask and leave the rest to me.” From my hiding spot, I can’t really see Yoochun’s face very well, but he is definitely listening closely to what the other has to say to him.
As I thought, Bongchol hasn’t forgiven me. After all, I’m the reason why he was kicked out…
Even though Yoochun hasn’t given his approval yet, I have to admit that I consider the possibility.
It pains me to think that, but I wouldn’t blame him if he wanted me out of the picture…
“Don’t you care about Jaejoong? You should know that that guy’s had his eyes set on him from the beginning… And you’re just going to let him walk away with him…? Without putting up a fight…?” To get on the good side of Yoochun, probably, Bongchol puts a sympathetic hand on his shoulder while he makes him an offer the other can’t possibly refuse, but he is brushed off right away, without hesitation. “Aren’t we partners? In this together? Why you siding with that girly boy?”
Something tells me that I would do well to get out of here as soon as possible, but I need to hear Yoochun’s answer. I want to clear this matter up, get to the bottom of this.
More silence from Yoochun, and my heart is thumping so hard that I fear they might hear it.
Yoochun is deep in thought, I can see it. Will he hand me over…?
Of course not.
“Partners…? You and me? You must be out of your mind.” Quite unusual of him, Yoochun’s voice is cold and laced with hatred. I’ve never heard him sound so threatening. “You know just as well as I do that I can’t be with Jaejoong. Besides, Yunho is a better person than all of us put together… He’s also my friend, and I have no plans to betray him. So do me a favor and fuck off, aight? Get outta my sight.”
I… To think that I doubted him, even for a second…
I’m the worst.
The atmosphere immediately grows tenser (if possible) and so cold that my whole body becomes covered with goosebumps. Bongchol understands that he won’t convince Yoochun into following him, but I’m under the impression that he isn’t going to drop the matter easily. “Fine. I offered you a truce, but you blew it. You’ll regret this, Park. All of you will. Don’t say I didn’t warn you…”
As his words resound darkly, dripping with venom, I break into a cold sweat, afraid that he might turn and see me, but he walks away in another direction.
Whew. I’m safe. Well… for now, at least.
On the other hand, Yoochun glances over his shoulder and he definitely spots me.
Guess I have some explaining to do.
The first words that leave my mouth are “thanks for not selling me off”, which might not have been the wisest thing to utter, from what I can read on Yoochun’s face after I say it. It suggests that I imagined him capable of doing something like that - which I’m ashamed to say I did, momentarily. Cursing myself mentally for repeatedly messing up like a champion, I apologize right away, but Yoochun dismisses it with a smile - albeit a weak and pained one. How could I not trust him…?
We stay in uncomfortable silence until I decide to take the floor. Here goes.
“Yoochun-ah… Are you mad at me?” I ask Yoochun, deciding to be straightforward for all this time when I wasn’t completely honest with him.
But his smile grows wider, becoming more genuine, natural. “No. Of course not, Yunnie.”
This, I definitely wasn’t expecting.
“Then are you mad at Jaejoong?”
At the mention of his love interest, Yoochun’s smile freezes, his spirits dampened. I feel bad for turning the blade in the wound when it’s still fresh, but we need to settle this now, before more harm is dealt and more misunderstandings created. Because he understands that, Yoochun does me the favor of answering my question. “Hell yeah, I am. But only for not telling me about you guys...”
Regardless of what I did to him… Why is he so supportive and loyal?
Do I really deserve that much kindness?
This time, I really turn my thoughts over in my head before I open my mouth. Sitting down next to Yoochun, thinking that he might feel my sincerity better if I look him in the eyes, from up close, I silently wish that he won’t reject me and leave, but he doesn’t move and waits expectantly. “I can only imagine how much you love Jaejoong. I don’t want to ruin what you two have. I know he means the world to you… so I’m really sorry for asking you to share him with me a little…”
Having said that, I grow silent, feeling my eyes become humid as I remember Yoochun’s expression when he found me kissing the love of his life. He has plenty of reasons to hate me…
But instead of pushing me off the roof - it would have been called for, really -, he pulls me into a hug.
I can no longer hold my tears. At this point, I really couldn’t care less what Yoochun thinks.
Wimp or not, I care about him, and it upsets me to have broken his heart.
I circle his frail shoulders with my arms, holding him tight. “I don’t want to break you two apart. I could never forgive myself if I did... What you have together is incredible.” It’s true, I really mean it. Quite frankly, I envy him, because I don’t know if I’ll ever know Jaejoong as much as he does, even if I continue dating him in the future. Going through so much together brought them closer than anyone... No other friendship - or love, for that matter - could possibly compare to theirs.
Yoochun chuckles softly, his small frame shaking as he does so, along with mine.
“…No offence, Yunho, but you couldn’t. We’ve been together for far too long and through too many things… It’s not gonna happen, neither now nor ever. So you can stop worrying about that.”
Well, that’s a relief... One less thing to fret about.
I let go of Yoochun to get a better look at him. Despite what he said, he’s clearly still affected by what happened, his eyes red from crying too much and welling up with tears again. But I can’t expect him to move on so quickly… This isn’t just a silly crush we’re talking about…
Blinking his eyes clear, he pats my shoulder. “...Really, don’t get yourself sick over me. I’m used to it.”
Knowing this does not make me feel better…
Yoochun seems to read my mind and he insists, showing me his precious smile.
“Hey, listen here. ‘Course it hurts like a bitch to know he doesn’t love me the way I would want him to, but… Yunho, I’ve known that forever. He clearly told me that would never change and… I believe him. Still, having him as a friend is already such a wonderful thing… and… knowing that he’s got you, too. I honestly don’t think he could have found a better guy. I mean it. It’s… best this way.”
The last words are almost whispered, said so quietly that I barely manage to hear them.
His intentions are good… but the heart isn’t all there.
The road to recovery will be long.
Chapter Eighteen