The Echoes That Surround You, Part 1
Title: The Echoes That Surround You, Part 1
Time: Post-BDM
Disclaimer: Firefly owns me, I own words
Notes: Huge thanks to terimaru for super quick beta- luvs her!
Joss said in a commentary once that Jayne was a coward...I wanted to run with that for abit, if you squint you can see it referenced...
Zoë was an ever-present figure in their lives. She was as much a part of the marriage as Mal and Inara, the raising of the children in her hands almost equal to their parents, even with her own relationships.
That wasn’t the surprise though. That was Jayne. He never left Serenity, he stayed as hired gun, the muscle, and for many years, the unacknowledged uncle that no one would give that name to, except Alley, Matthew’s older sister. She delighted in having Jayne as her protector, her confidant (which was odd enough in its unexpectedness, the mercenary never really having shown the ability to hold a child’s secrets and fears serious).
“Jayne…how come you are so big?” Alley asked, eyes wide and serious. She was four years old then. Jayne was at his workout bench, bench-pressing an amount of weight Alley could not even conceive of. He was in the middle of a set; arms not yet beginning to show signs of fatigue. As usual, no one was spotting him. Working out was something Jayne did in private, more so now that Shepherd Book was gone. If anyone ever tried to join him, he gruffly told them he wanted to be alone. Only person he ever warmed to was Zoë when she needed to work off some of the pain of loss herself. They made an odd pair, Jayne and Zoë, sweating at the bench, hardly any words ever spoken.
No one ever asked him why he was so intent on his time at the bench. He wouldn’t have told them even if they did. He spent the time sweating, pushing himself to his limits, his thoughts far back in time, on a place and a person that he let down. Everyone knew Jayne sent money home to his Ma, that he got care packages every few months and that his brother Matty suffered from damp lung; no one asked why he left. They all thought they knew. Only one who probably knew was River and she never told anyone strangely enough.
“Well now, baby-girl…” He started, but she interrupted him right away.
“I don’t wanna be called baby-girl, Jayne!” She almost stomped her foot in the same way her mother did. Jayne stifled a chuckle, helped by the thought of how Alley’s mother, Inara, would respond if he did actually let the chuckle out.
Instead he sat quietly, looking at the little girl, deciding how to answer her. He wasn’t a stupid man. He was often seen that way, but it was a mistake to believe it. Jayne knew how smart he was and how smart he wasn’t, and knew when he was out of his depth. There was a sneaking suspicion in his mind that Alley was going to figure out that she scared him with her trusting innocence. It made him die inside every time he saw her jumping about, full of life and joy. She looked like her mother, but somewhere along the line, Kaylee’s infectious good nature had taken root in her.
He would see her dancing about the cargo bay, all full of life and laughter, and it made him remember back to his little sister. The little sister he had near raised himself. Wasn’t til much later that things went wrong between them. Matty with the damp lung was the reason anyone ever took as why Jayne sent money home regular like. His Ma never wrote about Talia, his sister, even though Jayne knew some of the money was going to keeping her in the home.
Talia was sixteen when she ran away from home. She didn’t want to be a miner’s wife, she wanted what the ‘Verse had to offer a high-strung teen. Sadly, she didn’t know that that was nothing like her dreams. She was brought home some months after she ran off, broken. Her body was fine, but no one was ever able to get her to talk again.
Jayne blamed himself, he spent hours every day sitting with Talia as she stared into space, nothing happening behind her eyes. He burned to find out who did this to her, who hurt his little baby-girl. He had gone looking for her when she ran off, but he was just dumb miner then, no idea where to look, who to trust, how to find someone. He looked until he had been run off from every place in town, and then every place on that God-forsaken moon. No one would help, no one knew anything. He took some beatings from being in the wrong place and asking the wrong men questions. He never forgot that.
He fingered the weights on the bench absently, arms thick with muscles, muscles he hadn’t yet developed when he left home to escape his guilt for not finding Talia in time. He had left to find the men who had done his sister wrong, became a mercenary in the course of the looking. Learned how to track, shoot, fight, and sent money home to his Ma. Matty got sick around the time Jayne left, so the money had to go twice as far. He never complained, figured it was his job to pay back for his weakness.
“Jayne! Listen to me. You just stare when I’m talking to ya.” Alley grabbed his hand, her tiny little fingers barely closing around his thumb. She pulled at him to get him to follow her, her previous question forgotten for now. She wanted to show him the babies Sushi and Sashimi had just had. Small specks of gold, red and white, more body that fins.
“See, Momma is gonna be having a baby real soon; and I want to have your help naming these, causes Momma ain’t gonna let me name my little brother.” Alley’s pout at that part nearly melted Jayne right then and there.
‘Aw, now, Alley, ya know I ain’t no good at this,” he answered in a gruff voice.
“Sure ya are, ya picked the name Jayne, right?” She replied in total innocence.
Jayne stared into the bowl thinking that life woulda been a lot simpler if they’d just eaten those gorram fish when they came aboard.
Life had changed; Serenity was no longer just a smuggling, transport, trouble- attracting boat anymore. It was all that and something more. He didn’t admit to himself that he liked it better with the fish.
He let her pull him along. He’d let her pull him along his whole life. Jayne wasn’t ever gonna let the ‘Verse take another baby girl from him.
Time: Post-BDM
Disclaimer: Firefly owns me, I own words
Notes: Huge thanks to terimaru for super quick beta- luvs her!
Joss said in a commentary once that Jayne was a coward...I wanted to run with that for abit, if you squint you can see it referenced...
Zoë was an ever-present figure in their lives. She was as much a part of the marriage as Mal and Inara, the raising of the children in her hands almost equal to their parents, even with her own relationships.
That wasn’t the surprise though. That was Jayne. He never left Serenity, he stayed as hired gun, the muscle, and for many years, the unacknowledged uncle that no one would give that name to, except Alley, Matthew’s older sister. She delighted in having Jayne as her protector, her confidant (which was odd enough in its unexpectedness, the mercenary never really having shown the ability to hold a child’s secrets and fears serious).
“Jayne…how come you are so big?” Alley asked, eyes wide and serious. She was four years old then. Jayne was at his workout bench, bench-pressing an amount of weight Alley could not even conceive of. He was in the middle of a set; arms not yet beginning to show signs of fatigue. As usual, no one was spotting him. Working out was something Jayne did in private, more so now that Shepherd Book was gone. If anyone ever tried to join him, he gruffly told them he wanted to be alone. Only person he ever warmed to was Zoë when she needed to work off some of the pain of loss herself. They made an odd pair, Jayne and Zoë, sweating at the bench, hardly any words ever spoken.
No one ever asked him why he was so intent on his time at the bench. He wouldn’t have told them even if they did. He spent the time sweating, pushing himself to his limits, his thoughts far back in time, on a place and a person that he let down. Everyone knew Jayne sent money home to his Ma, that he got care packages every few months and that his brother Matty suffered from damp lung; no one asked why he left. They all thought they knew. Only one who probably knew was River and she never told anyone strangely enough.
“Well now, baby-girl…” He started, but she interrupted him right away.
“I don’t wanna be called baby-girl, Jayne!” She almost stomped her foot in the same way her mother did. Jayne stifled a chuckle, helped by the thought of how Alley’s mother, Inara, would respond if he did actually let the chuckle out.
Instead he sat quietly, looking at the little girl, deciding how to answer her. He wasn’t a stupid man. He was often seen that way, but it was a mistake to believe it. Jayne knew how smart he was and how smart he wasn’t, and knew when he was out of his depth. There was a sneaking suspicion in his mind that Alley was going to figure out that she scared him with her trusting innocence. It made him die inside every time he saw her jumping about, full of life and joy. She looked like her mother, but somewhere along the line, Kaylee’s infectious good nature had taken root in her.
He would see her dancing about the cargo bay, all full of life and laughter, and it made him remember back to his little sister. The little sister he had near raised himself. Wasn’t til much later that things went wrong between them. Matty with the damp lung was the reason anyone ever took as why Jayne sent money home regular like. His Ma never wrote about Talia, his sister, even though Jayne knew some of the money was going to keeping her in the home.
Talia was sixteen when she ran away from home. She didn’t want to be a miner’s wife, she wanted what the ‘Verse had to offer a high-strung teen. Sadly, she didn’t know that that was nothing like her dreams. She was brought home some months after she ran off, broken. Her body was fine, but no one was ever able to get her to talk again.
Jayne blamed himself, he spent hours every day sitting with Talia as she stared into space, nothing happening behind her eyes. He burned to find out who did this to her, who hurt his little baby-girl. He had gone looking for her when she ran off, but he was just dumb miner then, no idea where to look, who to trust, how to find someone. He looked until he had been run off from every place in town, and then every place on that God-forsaken moon. No one would help, no one knew anything. He took some beatings from being in the wrong place and asking the wrong men questions. He never forgot that.
He fingered the weights on the bench absently, arms thick with muscles, muscles he hadn’t yet developed when he left home to escape his guilt for not finding Talia in time. He had left to find the men who had done his sister wrong, became a mercenary in the course of the looking. Learned how to track, shoot, fight, and sent money home to his Ma. Matty got sick around the time Jayne left, so the money had to go twice as far. He never complained, figured it was his job to pay back for his weakness.
“Jayne! Listen to me. You just stare when I’m talking to ya.” Alley grabbed his hand, her tiny little fingers barely closing around his thumb. She pulled at him to get him to follow her, her previous question forgotten for now. She wanted to show him the babies Sushi and Sashimi had just had. Small specks of gold, red and white, more body that fins.
“See, Momma is gonna be having a baby real soon; and I want to have your help naming these, causes Momma ain’t gonna let me name my little brother.” Alley’s pout at that part nearly melted Jayne right then and there.
‘Aw, now, Alley, ya know I ain’t no good at this,” he answered in a gruff voice.
“Sure ya are, ya picked the name Jayne, right?” She replied in total innocence.
Jayne stared into the bowl thinking that life woulda been a lot simpler if they’d just eaten those gorram fish when they came aboard.
Life had changed; Serenity was no longer just a smuggling, transport, trouble- attracting boat anymore. It was all that and something more. He didn’t admit to himself that he liked it better with the fish.
He let her pull him along. He’d let her pull him along his whole life. Jayne wasn’t ever gonna let the ‘Verse take another baby girl from him.