Fanfiction: Heroes: I'm Marking It Down To Learning
Title: I’m Marking It Down To Learning
Author: superkappa
Prompt: "There are two tragedies in life. One is not to get your heart's desire. The other is to get it." -Oscar Wilde for sylelle_chall
Characters/Pairing: Gabriel/Elle, Samuel
Rating: R
Warnings (spoilers): Drawn from some of the stuff seen in the promos for 4x05 and 4x06, but mostly just speculation.
Summary: Family. That’s the important thing; Gabriel knows that at the very least. So when Samuel tells him to go to California, to go to a grave there and follow the instructions given to him, he listens.
A/N: Lots of love and credit goes to dragynflies for helping me out of my Syelle block, and for betaing it and making sure this makes any sort of sense. She wins at life. Srsly.
Gabriel’s not sure why this girl is important. He doesn’t remember her. Or much of anything before coming to the Carnival. But Samuel promised him that he would find his true self. He bathed him in the river and baptized him into the family.
Family. That’s the important thing; Gabriel knows that at the very least. So when Samuel tells him to go to California, to go to a grave there and follow the instructions given to him, he listens. Because Samuel is like a father.
And boys listen to their fathers. Trust them. Obey them. Even if he can’t remember why this Elle Bishop is worth bringing back from the dead, Samuel knew. That was enough.
So he’s transported to his destination, Costa Verde, California, and he’s left there to handle the rest himself. He finds the grave of the unknown girl rather easily at a cemetery in the town.
His head aches a little at the information, but he’s not sure why. He ignores it and holds his hands out. He tries to focus on what Samuel said about using his powers (he was still surprised that he had been able to take the other man’s power when he had so many already) and soon, the dirt begins to part, revealing a coffin.
Gabriel twists his wrist and the coffin pops open. His stomach turns as he looks at what’s inside. It is the most disgusting thing he’s ever seen (or remembers seeing, anyways). Burnt to a crisp, barely even recognizable as having once been human. It’s easy enough to see what had happened to her. Someone had lit her on fire. But why? Why would someone do something like that? His head aches again at the sight, but he ignores it. What else can he do?
He takes a deep breath, trying to recall what Samuel told him to do next. He wonders if it’ll really work or not. But he trusts Samuel, so he’s going to try.
He rolls up his sleeve to reveal one of his arms. From his bag he pulls out one of Edgar’s knives, something that was leant to him for just this experiment. He takes a deep breath before driving it down into his own forearm, crying out in pain as he does so. He remembers Samuel’s words, his instructions about how he has to keep the blade in until she revives, or the skin will heal before enough blood flows. His blood falls on her in tiny little droplets, a different type of baptism. Samuel had submerged him in the water, cleansed him of his skins, but now Gabriel is lending his blood to help someone be literally reborn, not just spiritually.
He watches the corpse carefully, and then suddenly, it begins to change. It becomes less black, and slowly begins to heal and reform, reversing any signs of decay. It becomes less mangled and begins to look more like a girl. A really pretty one. Pale creamy skin (she’s nude, her clothes must have burnt off before), blonde hair, and when they open, the most beautiful blue eyes she’s ever seen.
She looks like an angel. Or a newborn child. Maybe both. He’s not sure.
As she gasps for air, he finds himself suddenly breathless. It’s almost like playing god. Resurrecting the dead. Giving back life. What gives him the right?
She tries to rise to her feet and stumbles, falling back into the casket with annoyed groan of pain and a crackle of blue electricity.
Gabriel rushes over to her side to help her, but her hands flash warningly at him, the air suddenly smelling like burnt ozone all around them. “You stay away from me,” She hisses warningly. She’s almost feral.
“I was sent here to help you,” he protests, yanking the knife out of his arm finally, watching his own skin knit back together.
How did that even work?
“You’re the reason I was in this place, in this casket, you killed me, you son of a bitch,” the girl hisses, sending a bolt of lightning at him. It stings but what surprises him in the most is how his own hand seems to crackle with electricity in response.
Somehow, their electricity is connected to one another.
“I don’t know what you’re talking about. Samuel sent me to bring you back. He says you’re important,” His brows furrow in confusion. His heart aches for her, and he doesn’t know what to do. He wants to help her. He peels off his shirt and holds it out to her.
The girl snatches it from him, and looks hesitant, as if the last thing she wants is to be wearing his clothing before finally pulling it on.
“Can you at least give me your name?” He asks in an exasperated tone. He can’t help but notice how his shirt barely covers down to her thighs, giving him ample view of her shapely legs. Everything about her is so beautiful, so ethereal, almost.
If he tries to touch her, would anything be there?
She looks at him as if he’s insane or something. Who knows, he might be. There has to be some reason why he can’t remember anything about himself, after all. Finally, she answers. “It’s Elle. You know me, Sylar, why ar-“
“My name’s not Sylar,” He protests in confusion. “I’m Gabriel. Just…Gabriel.”
“Is that who you are today? Cause you were Gabriel for a while, and then you were Sylar again, and then Gabriel, and then back to Sylar, and then you killed me, so it’s really hard to keep track,” She rambled, her hand crackling warningly as he takes another step closer to her.
“I don’t know what you’re talking about,” He insists. “I just know I needed to save you.”
“Well you should have thought about that before you killed me,” She hisses out. “You should have thought, Gabriel.”
“I didn’t kill you, I didn’t kill anyone,” He snaps, grabbing her by her shoulders, as if ready to try to shake some sense into her or something. “First those cops accuse me of killing my own mother, and now you. I don’t know what any of you are talking about, but I’m a good person. I have a home, a family now, and I have to bring you back to them, or el-“
“Or else what?” Elle asks in a sardonic tone. “You’ll kill me again? Cause really, after the first time, it loses its thrill a little.”
“I’m not going to kill you.”
“Then what?” She gives him an expectant look. “What is it you want from me?”
“I don’t know,” He whispers softly. He feels lost. But he knows her. He doesn’t know how, but he knows her. And he doesn’t want to just leave her here. And not just because it would make Samuel angry either. It’s something else.
Almost like she was his family, once. Maybe she can be a part of his new family. He looks up at her a little more pleadingly now. “Come with me. If you don’t like it at the Carnival-“
“You’re living at a Carnival?” Her faces lights up a little at that, like a child who’s excited at the chance to go to one for the first time.
“Yes, but it’s not…it’s hard to explain but they’re a family. And they want you there. I want you there,” he adds, wondering if that’ll help or hurt his cause.
“I don’t care what you want.”
A twinge goes off in his head, and he knows she’s lying. “Yes, you do care what I want.”
“Shut up,” She snaps angrily, almost flushed in embarrassment, as if he’s discovered something about her that she didn’t want him to know.
“So will you go with me, then?” He asks again. His chest clenches in anticipation as he waits for her answer. He’s not sure why it’s so important whether she says yes or not. But he feels like he might die if she refuses.
Elle hesitates for a moment. “Fine, but if you try anything, I’m setting your pants on fire or something, you got that?”
Gabriel laughs softly. He feels relieved, comforted even, by the fact that she’s finally agreed to come with him. Not only because he wants her to, but because this way, he won’t be letting Samuel down either. And that’s important. The Carnival is his family now. He can’t afford to lose them.
~*~*~*~*~*~*~
When they get to the Carnival Samuel is there to greet them, a knowing smile on his face. “There’s limited room right now, she’ll have to share your tent with you.”
Gabriel doesn’t mind that idea, really, but as he looks at Elle, he can tell she does. “I’ll sleep on the floor.”
Elle just snorts and turns to head to the tent they’ll be sharing. “I’m not a child. You don’t need to coddle me. Besides, I can take care of myself,” Her hand glows with blue sparks, as if to emphasize the point she’s trying to make.
Samuel just nods knowingly. “It seems the two of you will have a lot to catch up.”
As the older man walks away, Gabriel can’t help but think Samuel knows something he doesn’t.
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~
One night, about a week after he brought Elle to the Carnival, Gabriel wakes up to her straddling him, pressing her lips frantically against his. She is grinding against him, her nightgown missing, leaving her completely nude. The moonlight shines through slits of the tent making her seem otherworldly, like a ghost or a nymph. It takes all of Gabriel’s self control not to just kiss her back, to let her take him, because he’s not sure what he’ll lose if he does.
So he pushes her off of him, trying to regain his breath as he does. For the first time since he can remember, his body is on fire and he feels alive. It’s incredible and terrifying all at once. “What do you think you’re doing?”
“I thought...maybe if your brain didn’t remember me,” She crawls towards him, grabbing at his hardened member. “Then your body would. And it does.”
“I don’t know what you want from me,” He says desperately, because he’s tried so hard to understand her, but he always fails. She’s a puzzle, but the pieces don’t fit.
“Nothing,” She whispers quietly. “There’s nothing you can give me. You’re not him. You look like him, sound like him, but you’re not him.”
“But I could be,” He pleads almost desperately, he’s not sure why it’s so important, why she’s so important, but she is.
“No, I don’t think you could. I don’t think you’ll ever be him again. Just as I’m not the girl I was before you killed me.”
“I didn’t kill you,” He insists, yet again.
Her eyes look hollow and sad, lacking the fire and electricity he had seen in them before. Gabriel wonders if they had ever been there at all or if he had just imagined them. “But you did. You killed me. And now they killed you. We’re both just ghosts, fighting for something that doesn’t exist anymore.”
“What do you want me to do?” He asks softly. “I can fix things, I can.”
“Kill me. And promise not to bring me back. We can’t go home again, not ever, Gabriel,” she grabs his hands, lifting them up, placing them around her neck.
He follows her lead, squeezing tightly enough to close off her air supply. She flails and flinches in his hands, but her eyes look thankful.
When her body falls limp and lifeless into his arms his hands flicker with blue electricity and he knows what to do.
~*~*~*~*~*~*~
Gabriel takes her out to the forest, making a large campfire, surrounding it with rocks. He places Elle in the middle, and his head stings again. There’s a familiarity to the situation and he remembers her words about him killing her. Well, if it wasn’t true before, it is now.
He looks at her for a few more moments before flicking his wrist, using the electricity to start the fire. He sits down on a nearby stump, watching her burn. He doesn’t even hear the crinkle of leaves or notice Samuel’s presence until the older man’s hand on his shoulder. “Why did you want me to bring her back?” He asks quietly. He still doesn’t understand what the point in all of this was.
“Because,” Samuel drawled carefully, “You had to understand. You can’t go searching for who you used to be. She was right, that person is dead. You’ve been reborn in God’s image and become part of this family. You’re one of us now, and this was the only way for you to fully understand that.”
Gabriel just nods his head. Family. It’s what he wants, isn’t it? What he’s always craved. So why does it hurt as he looks at Elle’s burning corpse?
He doesn’t understand.
He wonders if he ever will.
Author: superkappa
Prompt: "There are two tragedies in life. One is not to get your heart's desire. The other is to get it." -Oscar Wilde for sylelle_chall
Characters/Pairing: Gabriel/Elle, Samuel
Rating: R
Warnings (spoilers): Drawn from some of the stuff seen in the promos for 4x05 and 4x06, but mostly just speculation.
Summary: Family. That’s the important thing; Gabriel knows that at the very least. So when Samuel tells him to go to California, to go to a grave there and follow the instructions given to him, he listens.
A/N: Lots of love and credit goes to dragynflies for helping me out of my Syelle block, and for betaing it and making sure this makes any sort of sense. She wins at life. Srsly.
Gabriel’s not sure why this girl is important. He doesn’t remember her. Or much of anything before coming to the Carnival. But Samuel promised him that he would find his true self. He bathed him in the river and baptized him into the family.
Family. That’s the important thing; Gabriel knows that at the very least. So when Samuel tells him to go to California, to go to a grave there and follow the instructions given to him, he listens. Because Samuel is like a father.
And boys listen to their fathers. Trust them. Obey them. Even if he can’t remember why this Elle Bishop is worth bringing back from the dead, Samuel knew. That was enough.
So he’s transported to his destination, Costa Verde, California, and he’s left there to handle the rest himself. He finds the grave of the unknown girl rather easily at a cemetery in the town.
His head aches a little at the information, but he’s not sure why. He ignores it and holds his hands out. He tries to focus on what Samuel said about using his powers (he was still surprised that he had been able to take the other man’s power when he had so many already) and soon, the dirt begins to part, revealing a coffin.
Gabriel twists his wrist and the coffin pops open. His stomach turns as he looks at what’s inside. It is the most disgusting thing he’s ever seen (or remembers seeing, anyways). Burnt to a crisp, barely even recognizable as having once been human. It’s easy enough to see what had happened to her. Someone had lit her on fire. But why? Why would someone do something like that? His head aches again at the sight, but he ignores it. What else can he do?
He takes a deep breath, trying to recall what Samuel told him to do next. He wonders if it’ll really work or not. But he trusts Samuel, so he’s going to try.
He rolls up his sleeve to reveal one of his arms. From his bag he pulls out one of Edgar’s knives, something that was leant to him for just this experiment. He takes a deep breath before driving it down into his own forearm, crying out in pain as he does so. He remembers Samuel’s words, his instructions about how he has to keep the blade in until she revives, or the skin will heal before enough blood flows. His blood falls on her in tiny little droplets, a different type of baptism. Samuel had submerged him in the water, cleansed him of his skins, but now Gabriel is lending his blood to help someone be literally reborn, not just spiritually.
He watches the corpse carefully, and then suddenly, it begins to change. It becomes less black, and slowly begins to heal and reform, reversing any signs of decay. It becomes less mangled and begins to look more like a girl. A really pretty one. Pale creamy skin (she’s nude, her clothes must have burnt off before), blonde hair, and when they open, the most beautiful blue eyes she’s ever seen.
She looks like an angel. Or a newborn child. Maybe both. He’s not sure.
As she gasps for air, he finds himself suddenly breathless. It’s almost like playing god. Resurrecting the dead. Giving back life. What gives him the right?
She tries to rise to her feet and stumbles, falling back into the casket with annoyed groan of pain and a crackle of blue electricity.
Gabriel rushes over to her side to help her, but her hands flash warningly at him, the air suddenly smelling like burnt ozone all around them. “You stay away from me,” She hisses warningly. She’s almost feral.
“I was sent here to help you,” he protests, yanking the knife out of his arm finally, watching his own skin knit back together.
How did that even work?
“You’re the reason I was in this place, in this casket, you killed me, you son of a bitch,” the girl hisses, sending a bolt of lightning at him. It stings but what surprises him in the most is how his own hand seems to crackle with electricity in response.
Somehow, their electricity is connected to one another.
“I don’t know what you’re talking about. Samuel sent me to bring you back. He says you’re important,” His brows furrow in confusion. His heart aches for her, and he doesn’t know what to do. He wants to help her. He peels off his shirt and holds it out to her.
The girl snatches it from him, and looks hesitant, as if the last thing she wants is to be wearing his clothing before finally pulling it on.
“Can you at least give me your name?” He asks in an exasperated tone. He can’t help but notice how his shirt barely covers down to her thighs, giving him ample view of her shapely legs. Everything about her is so beautiful, so ethereal, almost.
If he tries to touch her, would anything be there?
She looks at him as if he’s insane or something. Who knows, he might be. There has to be some reason why he can’t remember anything about himself, after all. Finally, she answers. “It’s Elle. You know me, Sylar, why ar-“
“My name’s not Sylar,” He protests in confusion. “I’m Gabriel. Just…Gabriel.”
“Is that who you are today? Cause you were Gabriel for a while, and then you were Sylar again, and then Gabriel, and then back to Sylar, and then you killed me, so it’s really hard to keep track,” She rambled, her hand crackling warningly as he takes another step closer to her.
“I don’t know what you’re talking about,” He insists. “I just know I needed to save you.”
“Well you should have thought about that before you killed me,” She hisses out. “You should have thought, Gabriel.”
“I didn’t kill you, I didn’t kill anyone,” He snaps, grabbing her by her shoulders, as if ready to try to shake some sense into her or something. “First those cops accuse me of killing my own mother, and now you. I don’t know what any of you are talking about, but I’m a good person. I have a home, a family now, and I have to bring you back to them, or el-“
“Or else what?” Elle asks in a sardonic tone. “You’ll kill me again? Cause really, after the first time, it loses its thrill a little.”
“I’m not going to kill you.”
“Then what?” She gives him an expectant look. “What is it you want from me?”
“I don’t know,” He whispers softly. He feels lost. But he knows her. He doesn’t know how, but he knows her. And he doesn’t want to just leave her here. And not just because it would make Samuel angry either. It’s something else.
Almost like she was his family, once. Maybe she can be a part of his new family. He looks up at her a little more pleadingly now. “Come with me. If you don’t like it at the Carnival-“
“You’re living at a Carnival?” Her faces lights up a little at that, like a child who’s excited at the chance to go to one for the first time.
“Yes, but it’s not…it’s hard to explain but they’re a family. And they want you there. I want you there,” he adds, wondering if that’ll help or hurt his cause.
“I don’t care what you want.”
A twinge goes off in his head, and he knows she’s lying. “Yes, you do care what I want.”
“Shut up,” She snaps angrily, almost flushed in embarrassment, as if he’s discovered something about her that she didn’t want him to know.
“So will you go with me, then?” He asks again. His chest clenches in anticipation as he waits for her answer. He’s not sure why it’s so important whether she says yes or not. But he feels like he might die if she refuses.
Elle hesitates for a moment. “Fine, but if you try anything, I’m setting your pants on fire or something, you got that?”
Gabriel laughs softly. He feels relieved, comforted even, by the fact that she’s finally agreed to come with him. Not only because he wants her to, but because this way, he won’t be letting Samuel down either. And that’s important. The Carnival is his family now. He can’t afford to lose them.
~*~*~*~*~*~*~
When they get to the Carnival Samuel is there to greet them, a knowing smile on his face. “There’s limited room right now, she’ll have to share your tent with you.”
Gabriel doesn’t mind that idea, really, but as he looks at Elle, he can tell she does. “I’ll sleep on the floor.”
Elle just snorts and turns to head to the tent they’ll be sharing. “I’m not a child. You don’t need to coddle me. Besides, I can take care of myself,” Her hand glows with blue sparks, as if to emphasize the point she’s trying to make.
Samuel just nods knowingly. “It seems the two of you will have a lot to catch up.”
As the older man walks away, Gabriel can’t help but think Samuel knows something he doesn’t.
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~
One night, about a week after he brought Elle to the Carnival, Gabriel wakes up to her straddling him, pressing her lips frantically against his. She is grinding against him, her nightgown missing, leaving her completely nude. The moonlight shines through slits of the tent making her seem otherworldly, like a ghost or a nymph. It takes all of Gabriel’s self control not to just kiss her back, to let her take him, because he’s not sure what he’ll lose if he does.
So he pushes her off of him, trying to regain his breath as he does. For the first time since he can remember, his body is on fire and he feels alive. It’s incredible and terrifying all at once. “What do you think you’re doing?”
“I thought...maybe if your brain didn’t remember me,” She crawls towards him, grabbing at his hardened member. “Then your body would. And it does.”
“I don’t know what you want from me,” He says desperately, because he’s tried so hard to understand her, but he always fails. She’s a puzzle, but the pieces don’t fit.
“Nothing,” She whispers quietly. “There’s nothing you can give me. You’re not him. You look like him, sound like him, but you’re not him.”
“But I could be,” He pleads almost desperately, he’s not sure why it’s so important, why she’s so important, but she is.
“No, I don’t think you could. I don’t think you’ll ever be him again. Just as I’m not the girl I was before you killed me.”
“I didn’t kill you,” He insists, yet again.
Her eyes look hollow and sad, lacking the fire and electricity he had seen in them before. Gabriel wonders if they had ever been there at all or if he had just imagined them. “But you did. You killed me. And now they killed you. We’re both just ghosts, fighting for something that doesn’t exist anymore.”
“What do you want me to do?” He asks softly. “I can fix things, I can.”
“Kill me. And promise not to bring me back. We can’t go home again, not ever, Gabriel,” she grabs his hands, lifting them up, placing them around her neck.
He follows her lead, squeezing tightly enough to close off her air supply. She flails and flinches in his hands, but her eyes look thankful.
When her body falls limp and lifeless into his arms his hands flicker with blue electricity and he knows what to do.
~*~*~*~*~*~*~
Gabriel takes her out to the forest, making a large campfire, surrounding it with rocks. He places Elle in the middle, and his head stings again. There’s a familiarity to the situation and he remembers her words about him killing her. Well, if it wasn’t true before, it is now.
He looks at her for a few more moments before flicking his wrist, using the electricity to start the fire. He sits down on a nearby stump, watching her burn. He doesn’t even hear the crinkle of leaves or notice Samuel’s presence until the older man’s hand on his shoulder. “Why did you want me to bring her back?” He asks quietly. He still doesn’t understand what the point in all of this was.
“Because,” Samuel drawled carefully, “You had to understand. You can’t go searching for who you used to be. She was right, that person is dead. You’ve been reborn in God’s image and become part of this family. You’re one of us now, and this was the only way for you to fully understand that.”
Gabriel just nods his head. Family. It’s what he wants, isn’t it? What he’s always craved. So why does it hurt as he looks at Elle’s burning corpse?
He doesn’t understand.
He wonders if he ever will.