Family Matters: Chapter Fourteen
Chapter 14
He ran for a time, making it to the Forbidden Forest (his nickname for McGonagall's crotch). He had a vague idea where Aragog stayed, so he avoided that portion of the forest. Why? Let him eat you. It will solve all sorts of probems! Finally, he came to a rest and dropped down next to a tree. The idiots are under the impression that I worth salvaging. I'm not sure why...you can't even speak in complete sentences! Can’t they see that I’ll just get them killed?
He heard hoofbeats coming closer. Oh. I picked their part of the forest to roost in. Makes sense. “You probably know already,” he said in a conversational tone, “but I’m over here.”
What approached Harry was not the centaurs that he expected, but the thestrals that ran free in this part of the forest. He was surprised to see them walk over to him and start to nuzzle him. He stood and began to run his fingers through the manes of the closest ones. Lol. Harry's so emo that he attracts thestrals.
Wonderful. I drag death around with me so much that I not only can see the thestrals, but I can actually draw them to me. They’re treating me as one of the herd. He shook his head. Is that all I’m good for? Death and destruction? The people nearest me get hurt. Wah wah wah. Keep crying, maybe you'll start weeping tears of blood.
Harry cuddles with a thestral, and then the centaurs come and threaten him. Harry has a temper tantrum and insults the centaurs. They poke him with spears. Sadly, they change their minds and do not impale him.
The group came at a run and was surprised to see the centaurs now tending Harry's minor chest wounds. "Harry!" Hermione cried as she saw him, and came running to him. She knelt next to him, crying.
"Why did you fall for such a loathsome creature, Hermione?" he asked sadly. "You deserve someone better. Not someone who can't even properly show gratitude to people."
"Harry …" she began. "This is for your own good. Avada Kedavra!"
"I mean, you were right to be angry and disgusted with me! While sort of … thing … can't show gratitude to the people who raised him? They saw me for what I am - a freak - and they treated me the way I deserved. I destroy what I touch, Hermione. My parents died because of a stupid prophecy - about me. Cedric died - because I exist. Sirius died - because I can't be bothered to do things the right way. Your family - look at the crap they've been through this summer. Because of me. I anger the centaurs. Your mother - knowing me, I've left some psychic residue, and she'll end up with some vile scenario happening to her. You. I love you Hermione. I love you so much that to keep you safe, I have to leave you. I'll destroy you, otherwise. I'm a monster in human guise, Hermione. My wanting the very people who raised me dead proves that. Some repayment for raising me, hmm?" He put his head into his hands, and whether he wanted to or not, began to cry. I'm about to cry here.
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Ron watched this in horror. "What happened?" he finally asked. "What happened to put him in this mood?"
"More than any one human should ever have to live through," Helen said, tears in her own eyes. "He's been Stu-ed. And Hermione, unfortunately, brought this one about. It would have happened, but she was the catalyst. Even with all those pictures, and the hospital, and everything else, she can't quite grasp the horror that Harry must have grown up with. I'm not saying that I understand it myself, but I grasp why Harry wants them dead." She sighed. "But she grew up in a loving family, as did you, and you can't really wrap your brains around the true evil that exists in the world." Really? Both Ron and Hermione have seen the messed up things that Voldemort has done, but they can't understand true evil because they had loving families?
They were interrupted when Harry shouted, "How can you say that I deserve to be loved? I destroy what I touch, Hermione! The Weasleys - look at them! Percy would still be talking with them if I weren't around! I'm the very reason he won't speak with them, Hermione! If I wasn't the human entropy engine, they'd still be happy together! Instead, I had to walk into their lives and tear them apart."
Ron couldn't handle it. "Yeah, Harry, if you hadn't come into our lives, look how well off we'd be. Ginny would be dead in the Chamber of Secrets, and Tom Riddle would be walking the world. We'd be mourning the loss of the only Weasley girl born in generations. Yeah, we'd be real happy if you didn't exist, Harry. I have my sister to hug and argue with, and worry about her boyfriends because none of them are good enough for her, and all those other things that siblings do to each other, for the simple reason that you exist, Harry. I've never thanked you for that, and that's just wrong." He knelt next to his friend of five years and hugged him. "Thank you for saving my sister's life, Harry. We can never repay you for that, and you turn around and give us money because you think you can't repay us." He grinned at his friend, not caring that his eyes were misty. "Percy's a git, and would have found a different reason to break contact with us. You were just his excuse." GO RON! Why is Harry supposed to be the hero of this story?
Anyway, everyone uses this as an excuse to kiss Harry's ass some more and talk about how evil the Dursleys are. It really pisses me off when people characterize the Dursleys like this. The way they treated Harry IN CANON was bad enough. I guess I hate it because it implies that neglect and emotional abuse aren't *really* abuse.
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Back in the headmaster's office, they all sat again. “This has been an eventfully day,” Albus finally said. Eventfully? Really? Good grief, Kinsfire! Get a fucking beta! Just don't use one of Neil's.
“All thanks to the drama queen,” Harry grumbled. “Well, drama king.”
“I’ll thank you not to insult my husband,” Hermione said, hugging his arm. “If his wife could learn to hold her tongue occasionally, perhaps he wouldn’t have had reason to react the way he did.” What's next? Everyone walking on eggshells around Harry for fear that he'll try to kill himself? That's not going to help. Just get the boy some intensive therapy. Preferably FLAMETHROWER therapy by skilled Sue Assassins.
Helen laughed. “How about we apportion blame where it belongs. All of us dropped the ball, if only a little bit. Hermione overreacted, Harry did the same, and the rest of us didn’t remember just how fresh the wounds are that made him attempt suicide a short time ago.”
“If I may,” Molly Weasley asked, “what caused him to attempt suicide?” She looked at Harry with worry.
Snip. They tell the story. Dumbledore has something to show them, and I have a very bad feeling about this.
"Ah yes, that reminds me. Would you like to follow me? I have something to show you."
They were all curious about the sequined underwear that Dumbledore was rumored to wear twinkle in the man's eyes, so the procession was formidable. As they approached the entrance to Gryffindor Tower, Harry was surprised to see the headmaster stop up against the wall, about twenty feet from the Fat Lady's portrait. "Ah, Lady Katherine! I'm here to show the room to its occupants." A portrait of a pretty young woman with hair that could only be described as Weasley Red smiled back and said, "Excellent, Headmaster! Are they moving in now? I have the torture implements prepared!"
"No, they will be moving in on September 1st, when the rest of the students move into their dormitories." He motioned for them to step closer.
"Harry Potter! Hermione Granger! So you're finally getting married! Wonderful! I think you'll love the way these rooms look!" The painting swung inward, exposing a cosy room with three doors exiting it. Allow me to express my feelings about this in picture form:
They stepped in to what was a pleasant little room reminiscent of the Gryffindor common room, which Harry suspected was reachable from the door to his left. The other two doors were on the same wall, directly before them. They opened them, and found two bedrooms. "Now, we know that you will be sharing a bed, being already married, but this layout allows the fiction that you are merely engaged to be upheld. And why are they getting special quarters just because they're engaged? On the nineteenth of September, while you are being married before those of the student body that you wish allowed, we shall remove the bed you are not using and convert the room into an office for the two of you." Hermione's eyes lit up. An office? Why the fuck do they need an office?
Harry cleared his throat. "Hermione? I have a question for the professor, but I don't want it to sound wrong." She nodded. "I think everyone is going to assume that we're sleeping together already." He turned to Hermione. "Actually, I should be saying this to you."
"I think I know what you're suggesting, Harry," she said with a smile. "I think they need it this way to keep up the illusion. If they do only one bed, they're tacitly permitting us to have premarital sex."
"True. That's why I have you in my life. One of us has to be smart enough to think things through." He grimaced and said beneath his breath, "I rarely do." SHUT UP SHUT UP SHUT UP
"None of that, Harry," Hermione said. "Or are you going to make me spank you with my spiked paddle?"
Harry's face went flat at that, and Hermione got worried for just a moment, until she saw the eye twinkle. "Hmm, we haven't tried that yet," he said, deadpan.
"Harry!" she squeaked, amidst relieved laughter in the room.
Finally smiling, Harry turned to Dumbledore and said, "Sir, thank you very much. Aren't you going to get in trouble with the governors for this egregious favoritism by allowing us these quarters before our official wedding day?"
"When I explain these precautions, and the fact that moving you after the year has started will cause greater disruption, then I believe that they will acquiesce. If they don't - well, I have never complained before, but I believe that I shall remind them who is truly in power at this school. The school has existed prior to the Board, and ultimate power rests in the headmaster's hands." He laughed. "Actually, the ultimate power at this school rests with the school itself. When I began to ponder the question, Harry, the castle itself made me aware of this suite. I had not known of its existence prior to that, and I have been headmaster here for some time." Meeting both pairs of eyes, he said, "The castle likes the both of you, and does what it can to help you." His eyes sparkled. "Don't be surprised if the castle helps you locate places for … ah … romantic liaisons, after the wedding has been performed." Hogwarts Castle is a Harmonian?
Harry's eyebrows rose, and a smile began to cross his face as his eyes unfocused. "Precisely, Harry," Albus laughed. He looked to Harry and Hermione and became serious. “Harry, you and I had a certain conversation after your suicide attempt. May I speak with you and your wife alone for a short time?” Harry looked to Hermione, who nodded. The others left the room to wait in the hall.
“You had considered a method of granting Hermione’s parents some level of magical power,” he said when the door was closed. “I told you I would look into it. It is possible, Harry, but dangerous.” SERIOUSLY? WHAT THE FUCKING FUCK IS THIS FUCKING SHIT KINSFIRE I HATE YOU.
“I won’t put them in danger,” Harry said. “So we scrap that idea.”
“They won’t be in any danger. The spell involves the sacrifice of a portion of a witch or wizard’s own power in order to activate the capability latent in all human beings. It is believed that the sacrificed portion will eventually regenerate. But, it is possible for the spell to completely drain the donor, permanently robbing them of their own ability to cast spells.” This is the dumbest shit I've ever read.
“Okay, when do I do it?” Hermione asked.
“You don’t, beloved,” Harry said. “I do. I seem to have power to spare, and I somehow doubt that the prophecy is going to let me be completely drained. Besides, how do we know that this isn’t the fulfilment of the prophecy? We both want them able to magically defend themselves, and this is in some way a repayment for the violation I performed. If I lose my ability to do magic, then it was the proper payment for the debt.” DO YOU HEAR THAT SOUND, KINSFIRE? THAT IS THE SOUND OF A THOUSAND ORPHAN PUPPIES CRYING. YOU MADE THEM CRY.
“Harry …” Hermione said.
“Plus they’ll have one hell of a brilliant teacher around in the guise of their daughter to help them train up.” He looked at the headmaster. “She’s right about the question, though, sir. When do I do it?”
“Except for the potion that they will be required to drink, everything is in preparation, and Severus is working on that as we speak. Well, I think that's the potion he's been working on. It might be a perpetual impotency potion.”
“Have you told him who it’s for?” Harry asked.
“Of course! He started snickering as he was brewing it, for some reason. No. Why should that have an effect?” Albus asked, making it quite obvious that he knew what Harry was suggesting.
Harry pretended that he didn’t know what Albus was saying and said, “Because if he knew, he’d be fighting the impulse to ruin it, just to harm me.”
“How can you think so little of his potion-making, Harry?” Albus asked sadly.
“Oh no, it’s not that. I appreciate that he’s a Master, and that his reputation might be at stake. But I’m betting that it was a truly difficult potion - one that would not ruin his reputation if he did fail, by some oddity. Also, if he could find a way to strike a lasting blow at me, I think that would make him very happy, sir. I think if he thought he could permanently strike a blow at me, he just might be willing to screw up a potion.”
“How little you know me, Potter,” sneered Professor Snape as he opened the door, holding two small thongs flasks.
“Oh, I think I know you far better than you want me to, sir. You and I are cut from the same cloth.”
He had never seen Snape turn puce before, and he was quite aware that it was not a complementary colour for anyone’s skin. “I truly hope, Potter, that this spell works to grant me one of my fondest wishes.”
“No, it won’t turn me into a clone of my mother kill me,” Harry responded.
Snape doesn't know about Harry and Hermione getting married. But enough of that, it's time for another Harry Tantrum (TM)!
"And probably make him hate me all the more. He has chosen, since my very first day here at Hogwarts back in 1991, to conveniently forget that I am not James Potter, and didn't even get a chance to know the man, because of the abomination that he served then, and possibly serves now. I have been, in his mind, an arrogant spoiled child ever since my birth. Well, I've decided to grant him his fondest wish. He wants me to be James Potter, I'll be James Potter to him." He stared the snarling Potions Master in the face. "I'll prove to him that it was a bad idea to make an enemy of me. When I'm done with you, you son of a bitch, you'll go crawling to Voldemort to beg for a quick death by being Crucio'd." Wow Harry. Now you're almost as immature as Snape. He spun and exited the room, almost running into the waiting Sue Assasin Squad Helen and Doug.
As he left, he heard a sneered, "And that is the last best hope for the wizarding world? We are doomed."
He stormed down the hallway, everyone else except Albus in hot pursuit. He didn't stop until he almost collided with Minerva McGonagall. He was shaking with rage.
Stopping, he took several deep breaths before trying to speak. Before he could, she spoke. "From that reaction, I assume that you either were told something you did not wish to hear, or that you met the head of Slytherin House."
McGonagall kisses Harry's ass. Wah wah wah.
"I am forced to admit that you are correct, Minerva," Albus said as he came up behind the group. "He refuses to release his hatred, and so dooms himself." He looked to Harry, who had turned to face him. "I would admonish you, but I begin to see what I have overheard the students talking about. All I ask is that you attempt to keep the mayhem to a minimum, Harry. As little collateral damage as possible, please? I know that if I tell you not to, you will anyway." Wait, so Dumbledore is ok with Harry physically harming Snape? Whaaaa?
"No sir. If you order me not to, then I will do nothing against the Potions professor."
Albus smiled. "But will your wife and best friend agree to listen to me?"
"That's their decision, sir. If you order me not to do anything, then I won't, but I will not speak for them."
Ron snorted behind them. "Oh, I'll promise if you want me to. 'Course, that means old greasy hair will discover the power of teamwork. You think that we can't get the Gryffindors and the others to help us?"
"That's what scares me," McGonagall said with a smile.
"Sir?" Harry asked, changing the subject. "When should we do this spell, and where?"
"I believe that some time next week would be good." He looked to Helen and Doug. "Have you been making the arrangements I mentioned?" They nodded. "Excellent. How does this upcoming Friday sound to you?" They nodded.
Chapter 13 ~ Table of Contents ~ Chapter 15