[private]

[subversion]

It's been a few hours. No, the tea didn't help; he's nervous, twitchy, can't keep still. Obviously the thing to do is wall himself up in a kitchen and cook with ridiculous amounts of onions.

[[OOC: private to stripesandheels. Adult content further down.]]

Comments

[stripesandheels]

[She makes it back, mostly intact- no. Who is she kidding? One thigh high has come off her garter belt, and rolled down. Her dress is rumpled, her hair is a mess. She ignores him, as she comes into the room, and drifts to the cupboard to get a glass down for water.

Higher than a fucking kite, would be the expression.]

[stripesandheels]

I spent a few hours in there, once. Some of them were kind of disturbing, so you'll have to let me screen for you. I mean, if you've read fic, you know what people are into.

[She has to eat something if she wants to sober up. She heads for the fridge, to find herself something. There's... kind of not much. A tomato? Okay, that works. Havarti cheese, very good. She bets she can find raisins, too, or crackers, if she goes through the cupboards.]

[subversion]

Kind of you. I think I'm capable of screening for myself.

[As if he's read fanfic. He knows enough to draw the net of badly-written smut, and that's all.]

I can't say I was ever into doujinshi. Too variable.

[stripesandheels]

[She loads her odd assortment of food into a bowl.]

I did for a week or two, but it was too silly for me.

[subversion]

There should be enough of this for you, if you want some.

[Pouring the onions into the bowl, stirring all the while.]

You know the sort of thing, then. There was always more to read. Real things, better things. Astrophysics and radio astronomy.

[stripesandheels]

Okay, sure, if you don't mind.

This room will be fun, though.

[subversion]

Fun.

[Hiss, spit. He's more adept with that pan than you might expect - well, when he's not dropping it.]

It sounds like it's going to be profoundly mentally scarring. I suppose that could be fun.

[stripesandheels]

See, you're almost used to me.

[subversion]

Almost.

[And now that they've got the magic safety zone semi-established, it's almost comfortable. Familiar. If she wants to try and punish him with weird drugged-out porn readings, that's her call.]

Did you get into the NSA?

[stripesandheels]

Yeah. They're not as badass as they try to make everyone think.

[subversion]

How long did that take?

[stripesandheels]

Well, the first step took a few hours, but then-

[And Matt launches to an in depth, technical explanation of something that probably isn't even possible in real life, but Death Note geniuses notoriously bend the line of what is and is not logically sound in our world, like recovering from major burns in a non-sterile environment without succumbing to infection, or leaping to insane, correct conclusion after conclusion with no demonstrable chain of logic. So, she goes over this imaginary genius hacking process in great, enthusiastic detail.

Long story short, she's actually running out of breath by the time they make it to the fanfic room.]

[subversion]

[But Light's never been one for what's logically sound, or for hanging out in reality, so he follows the whole thing perfectly.]

Wow. I can't believe they forgot to secure sendmail. That's really not at all intimidating.

-uh, is this it?

[Peering through the door, at the mountain of papers.]

[stripesandheels]

This is it. Go on, grab something.

[Finally, starting to pick at her stir-fry. She's coming down off her high- not by much, but enough to make a little more sense.]

[subversion]

I'm almost sure this is a terrible idea.

[But begrudging as he sounds, he does reach out and pick up a bundle of pages bearing crude illustrations.]

... uh. Who's Watari?

[stripesandheels]

Haha, oh man. L's parental guardian. Go on, read that.