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anticipation, n.ive always only ever hovered in the grey area. i'd have someone come along and tell me oh, you got attached. and i'd wait- for my body to react, for the neurons in my brain to spark. as if im supposed to hurt or cry or be angry or feel something specific. id just wait with tightness from my throat down to my gut, never knowing how
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The only reason the stringent boundaries were ever crossed was because something was real enough for you to feel. What is left now are questions and doubts - the rest taken away. Some say time does not determine the depth of feelings. I choose to believe a certain correlation exists.
Expectations, n.
We always expect something from everyone and ourselves, even when we do not realize it or deny that we do.
Fleeting, adj.
Thoughts can get scary, especially when fighting with life's "What Ifs". Some nights I get obsessed with how things would be like if I did something different, if he did something different, if they did something different, if something that happened was different. Other nights I embrace the now, recall why and how I got here, and realize that grey skies are just clouds passing over.
xo
Your friendly neighbour across the hallway
(p.s. willing to trade one sesh of htht for free usage of your clothing line)
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