skills that make you a functioning adult that I don't have

[subterrain]

So I've decided that I seriously need to get better at remembering shit I read. I think every conversation I have at some point incurs a sentence along the lines of, "Did you know that.... uh, well, I can't remember the numbers, but they say....[blah blah schoolchildren believe in domestic violence, blah blah grizzly bear mortality along back roads

Comments

[featherjournals]

P, honey, so, so much love. Seriously.

The last bit made me laugh so hard that I had a coughing fit (damned cold).

Lady Olive sounds absolutely lovely.

And don't worry about the hipsters. They just pretend that they're cool, while in all actuality, they're normal just like us and probably can't make witty conversation and so try to hide behind the hot appearance. I have yet to meet someone who can rattle off numbers and stats unless they're some math nerd. It's all about how you look when you talk. The appearance of confidence is key.

And you don't want to be a math nerd, I'm sure.

[burnthemap]

Naw, I don't think anyone can do that, and if they can they're probably making it up. You could just do that, I don't think anyone would know.

Also, things I have learned in my current job: the numbers in the newspapers ARE NEVER RIGHT. Maybe it's just Hamilton, I don't know? But whenever anyone from my office gets interviewed for stats (which usually originate from me), the journalist just makes some number up that sounds better. Seriously, without fail.

[fourfreedoms]

Yes well, the fact that this phrase, "geographic mobility," even enters your vocabulary shows you are way ahead of me.

[estei]

I hurt everywhere today. EVERYWHERE. I don't know if it was the five minutes of plank or what but my body is not happy.

Also. May I just remind you that you wouldn't have to worry about conversation at all if you would just start wearing a black cape-poncho like the dude from Ka'wa. Then you could just EXIST with the hipsters.