Why is it so hard for me to lose weight? I've been eating less than 1000 calories a day (it's usually about 500) and I exercise on days when I eat about 1000 calories. I'm so tired of being fat. This weight is unbearable for me. I'm gonna start running again so that I can lose some weight ( Read more... )

I'm at my neighbor's house, "babysitting." I'm really bored; just looking at "thinspiration" pictures. It's cool stuff. Gemma Ward is a great model. JESUS! I am so frikkin bored. and confused about things. But not angry or depressed about anything. I'm getting better. Puppies are cute, but gross when they hump the crap out of each other. I need to ( Read more... )

decided to post here again... so long ( Read more... )

I wish everybody that reads my lj would check out my other one. I don't want to go to both. the lj name is its_a_travesty

Cheerio, my brothers

Well, the days are going well even when something goes wrong (4 long days without depression). After the lab, since I got out uber early, I went by Matt's house to first watch his little bro's play HALO and then watch Steph, Matt, Aaron, and ANdrew play HALO. I think it was Andrew; Steph can help if I'm wrong. Then I had to leave to go to ( Read more... )

It's amazing how true that song by Brand New is. Anywho... Yesterday was a good day, as was today, so I'm starting a count of all the days that go well. I've had two. Sunday was good because I decided to do all sorts of things that will make me a better person. I'm going to stop smoking. Applaud for me people; I'm very stressed and no longer ( Read more... )

I wish things would just go my way for a week or something. Then I wouldn't feel like killing myself every week.

You know, it's really sad when your own thoughts creep you out. Today at the lab, as I was walking back to boredom, I looked at the veins on my right wrist and saw how much they stood out and thought, "Those are just waiting to be slit." It was the weirdest thing, especially since I'm not depressed at the moment. At least, I don't think I am. I ( Read more... )

So ya, I talked to the one person that can always bring happiness and sadness to my life last night. We talked for a really long time about everything I was feeling and where everything is going, and now I'm happy to say that I feel no ill will toward the lack of labels. It was just something he said that really made it all better; it made me ( Read more... )

So today at work kinda brightened my perspective of life. Last night was horrible. My welcoming of the new year was basically spent crying and listening to my mom tell me about how she really wants me to see a therapist. Then I was called by a certain somebody at 12:30 who just said happy new year and then had to go. I was just like, what the ( Read more... )