My grandma died yesterday morning at seven o'clock. I could cry yesterday morning, could only get to the point where my eyes stung with salty tears. It wasn't until last tonight did I cry. It was more of a sob, but you know what I mean.

When my dad went to their house to get some stuff for the funeral today, he found these pictures on her bedside ( Read more... )

( Read more... )

You Know You're From Newark When...

You've eaten a Jimmy Buff's and loved it ( Read more... )

You are


( Read more... )

In the fifth grade, Logan Jonsrud [my "boyfriend"] bought me a dragon Beanie Baby for Valentine's Day and that was the last time I ever celebrated it with anyone.

Tomorrow is Valentine's Day and I'm dreading it so bad. Tons of people are going to have their balloons and flowers and candies and Valentines and all that other pink and red romantic ( Read more... )

withering away by the front window.

(secrets whispered and untold),

written in my mind

for you.

summer to fall,

(i fell for you).

so hard,

i didn't get up again.

yoo-hoos on the swings.

blowing bubble gum condoms

(on our tongues),

drinking to non-existent love.

tear off my glittering wings

with your anoerxic fingers.

the stars drop from the ( Read more... )

And take away all that you hate, for then it would be nothing, just like we've always wanted.

Blank and white like our individualities, blurring together like the text of the poetry that you read when you cried.

Haven't you always wanted it all and had nothing to begin with?

Let us all start with the nothing, which starts with the absence of ( Read more... )

Life is fucking shit right now. I can't even begin to tell you what the fuck is fucked up in my life right now. Don't even know where to begin.

• My parents are selling my car.
• My grandma is going to die,
• I've had the same reaccuring nightmare three times in the past week about my mom dying and then me committing suicide
• I feel so lost
• I haven't ( Read more... )

i scream until the windows crack
until people plug their ears
until my heart breaks
until the world shatters.

i can't scream loud enough
long enough
hard enough
to make it all go the fuck away.

wake me up when its all over
when the world is safe
and the pain is gone
but until then i sleep.

too long
too hard
i can't and won't deal
with all this shit.

the noise ( Read more... )

Wow. So I was in Yakima this past weekend [which I have renamed Hickama] and Saturday was a really bad day. I had the worst cramps the entire four hour drive up and thought I was going to die. Then I was hungry, but thought that if I ate anything I would throw up. And that sick feeling carried over onto Saturday. Then I had a headache because I ( Read more... )