bandombigbang fic: Median (part I)
Median
Panic at the Disco: Jon/Spencer
23,350 words
explicit
Disclaimer: I made the whole thing up. And if you found it by googling your own name or that of someone you know personally? For god's sake, hit the damn back button. That's what it's there for.
Notes: Also known as The Accidental Epic (Told in Three Parts). Written for bandombigbang 2009. Sort of. It was originally inspired by a prompt from airinshaw in, oh, 2007 maybe? That 5,000ish-word story I planned to write you? I started it in 2008 and now it's actually done. So this is for you, my dear (even if you probably don't even remember telling me what to write for you *g*).
embracepassion is one of my absolute very favorites, not least because she sat through many, many train rides and read many, many emails in which I rambled a lot about this. She is a fabulous cheerleader and the only person to catch the part where Jon's clothes were magically gone. <3
Muchas, muchas gracias to shihadchick for multiple betas and riverlight for taking time out of her travels in Sweden to help me out. You were both extraordinarily helpful. I love you both and I really wish you weren't on other sides of the world from me!
And finally, huge thanks to the three wonderful people (fcuk_it16, silver_etoile, and unrequited_rain) who did mixes for this story (three! I still do not understand this) and the one (kazaizor) who did cover art for it. They are all awesome and the goodies (and more gushing) can be found here.
And hey, look at that! There's a story under there and everything!
Part I // Part II // Part III // Extras
Jon first learned about the Kinsey scale when he was about seventeen. And if zero is completely heterosexual, and six is completely homosexual? Jon Walker is a three. So very much a three.
He likes women. Loves women, actually. They're so soft and pretty and, yeah, he's kind of a sucker for high heels and short skirts. He loves long hair and painted nails and, oh man, boobs. Seriously, breasts are nothing short of amazingly, incredibly awesome.
He doesn't think it's particularly chauvinistic of him to enjoy occasionally being the big, strong man around a woman. He doesn't ever treat a girl like she's weak or anything (because he knows that most women aren't, just like he knows that some men are), but sometimes it's kind of nice to be called in to kill a spider or lift something heavy.
He loves sex with girls and driving them crazy with his hands, his mouth, his dick. He likes to go down on women, which apparently some guys don't. He doesn't understand how anyone could not like it: the way it makes them arch underneath him and grab his hair, and the way their thighs shake and they're dripping wet, and the way they cry out when they come. It's just so fucking good.
Yeah. Jon really, really loves women.
He also really, really loves men. Their bodies, their muscles, their strength. Jon loves it when guys take the lead and shove him into a wall to kiss him or blow him or fuck him.
And, speaking of fucking, their cocks. While more domineering women aren't really his type, Jon knows that when it comes to guys, he's a total bottom. He loves getting fucked; he's never actually fucked a guy. He can't think of anything better than a big, thick cock stretching him, filling him. Except maybe his own buried deep in a girl's cunt. Or, better yet, both at once. (Sadly, it's never happened in real life. But he clings to the hope that it will someday. It's his favorite jerk-off fantasy. It pretty much guarantees quick results, which is a plus when it comes to touring and living on a bus.)
It's actually possible that Jon just really enjoys sex.
So basically, when Jon joined Panic! at the Disco, he knew that if he fucked up his big chance at being in a band, it wouldn't be because he was attracted to one of his bandmates. (Thanks for that lesson, Tom and Bill, in how best to screw over your band.) But Panic were kind of the furthest thing from his type that he could get. Everything was fine. Golden.
===
It's such a cliche: Everything was fine. Until. Until one day. One morning, when Jon got off a plane in Las Vegas, Nevada for some quality band-bonding time and did a double-take when he spotted the bandmates picking him up. There was Ryan, tall and skinny in skinnier jeans and an old hoodie. And then there was Spencer. Spencer Fucking Smith. Looking all kinds of grown up and, well, manly.
Thinking about it later, Jon knew that it had happened fairly gradually, as such things do. Spencer had begun hitting that last growth spurt before Jon went back to Chicago. And it wasn't like he didn't know Spencer could grow facial hair or anything. But, Christ, who knew he'd fill out so well or look that damn good if he stopped shaving for a couple weeks.
After a brief, stunned moment, Jon managed to walk forward again, helped along, no doubt, by that obnoxious ten-year-old who'd been three rows up knocking into him. Ryan and Spencer were arguing about something and missed his whole embarrassing jaw-drop thing, thank god. As he got closer, he heard Spencer's, "Fuck you," and Ryan's answering, "No, fuck you."
"Ryan, why didn't you tell me?" Jon asked to get their attention.
"Tell you what?"
"That Spencer Smith is actually a boy?" Jon stood with wide eyes that weren't completely an exaggeration.
Ryan laughed. Spencer said, "Your mom is actually a boy," while his face turned just the slightest bit pink.
Jon smirked as he gave Ryan a bro-hug. He turned to Spencer to do the same, but Spencer just raised his eyebrows and said, "Fuck off, Walker. We're not friends anymore."
Jon staggered back, clutching his chest. "That hurts, Spence."
Spencer rolled his eyes. "Yeah, yeah. You'll get over it. You got bags or anything?"
"Nah, just this," Jon gestured towards his carry-on and backpack.
"Awesome. We should go before that group over there gets courageous."
Ryan glanced over at the group of six preteen girls looking like they really, really wanted to come over and get stories for their next MySpace posts. "Oh god," he whispered, sounding horrified. "They've got cameras! I look like shit! Let's go!" He rushed them out of there and to Spencer's car.
===
Jon was in trouble. Big trouble. Despite Spencer's declarations regarding the demise of their friendship, Jon was still staying at Spencer's house.
Which meant he got to see Spencer all the time. In the morning over coffee and Pop-Tarts, when he was in his boxers and an old, worn t-shirt. When he was playing with the dogs outside. In the afternoon when Spencer was lazing around on the couch and "just flipping channels, Jon, seriously. Not watching Dr. Phil, I swear." After a shower, when Spencer was still wet and covered only by a towel slung low on his hips, showing off his drummer arms and shoulders and back and that chest hair Jon swears grew overnight or he totally would have noticed it before (if he'd actually been looking).
And he didn't even have work to distract him. This trip was just supposed to be some bonding and relaxing and "getting to know each other as people again" time (according to Ryan). After their adventures in the wilderness and scrapping an entire album, they had all taken a break from work and from each other. Jon went back to Chicago for a couple of weeks, and then had come to Vegas for about two weeks to hang out. Then he was going back to Chicago to spend some more time with his family and his friends, and finally coming back again when they could book a rehearsal space and studio time.
But yeah. Big, big trouble. That was what he told Tom when he called. Thankfully Spencer was at his parents' for dinner. Jon had been invited of course, but he really, really needed a break from Spencer. He went with the oldie-but-goodie fake headache.
"Tom, seriously, man. I don't know what the fuck to do."
Tom was quiet for a moment. "Jon... I'm probably the wrong person to talk to about this. You know I'm just going to tell you not to go anywhere near him. It'll fuck everything up, and you got a good thing going with that band. Don't lose it."
"Shit. Yeah, I know. You're right." Deep breath. "You're right. And anyway, it's just a crush or whatever. It'll go away. It'll be fine. Completely, totally fine."
"Right." Tom clearly wasn't buying that shit. But, hell, neither was Jon.
Jon took another deep breath. "Okay. So, hey, one more thing I need advice on."
"What's that?" Tom sounded relieved about the change in subject.
"How do I get rid of the perpetual boner I've got every time we're in the same damn room?" Jon practically shouted into the phone.
Tom hung up. Which was fair.
===
"I was thinking I might go stay with Brendon for a couple days," Jon said nonchalantly over coffee the next morning.
Spencer looked surprised and then a little hurt. "Oh. Um. Okay."
"I mean, I've been here for a few days now. I don't want to, you know, overstay my welcome or anything."
Spencer glared. "Not really possible, Walker. Just... Whatever. I mean, go if you want, but you could stay."
Jon took a sip of coffee. "I didn't mean to offend you or anything," Jon said a little awkwardly.
"No, you didn't. I'm just...tired or something, I guess. I don't know." Spencer stood up and put his mug in the sink. He stretched his arms up over his head and his t-shirt rode up just enough to tease Jon. "I'm gonna go take a shower."
Jon waited until he left the kitchen to drop his head to the table and groan. Why did Spencer have to just announce shit like that? Especially after showing just a tiny bit of skin. Jon really did not need that mental image, thank you very much.
Jon banged his head on the table a couple more times for good measure and then got up and poured himself another cup of coffee before heading back upstairs. He figured he might as well go back up to the guest room and jerk off. For the second time that morning (he'd always had very vivid dreams).
Stupid Spencer.
===
Ryan's latest hobby was cooking, and he decided to make dinner for his band. Jon and Spencer headed over to Ryan's, beer and take-out menus (just in case!) in hand. Brendon was bringing dessert, which he promised would also be homemade. (Jon, Ryan, and Spencer had a bet on the number of marshmallows involved.)
After a surprisingly delicious dinner, when Jon and Brendon were stuck doing the dishes, Brendon leaned over to Jon and said, "You guys haven't done it yet, have you?"
"Who hasn't done what?" Jon asked as he handed over another plate.
Brendon gave Jon a knowing look. "You and Spencer? The red hot monkey horizontal tango?" he asked in a very "duh" tone.
The pot Jon had been scrubbing at slipped from his grip and he splashed water all over the counter. "The what?" he sputtered.
"I'll take that as a no. But dude. Come on. You've been, like, slipping surreptitious glances at Spencer since you got to Vegas. And he's been giving you surreptitious glances for years or something."
Okay, what? What the fuck was that shit?
"The only reason you know what 'surreptitious' means is because you have to sing it all the time," he muttered in an admittedly weak effort to distract Brendon.
"The point is, Jon my boy, that I do know what it means. What I don't know is when you're going to put poor Spencer out of his misery and just hit that already."
Jon coughed. "Could you just...not?" His face had to be bright red, he could feel it.
Brendon shrugged. He was quiet for a moment, but when Jon wrung out the sponge and shut off the water, he turned to look him in the eye. "You did know that, right? About Spencer's big gay crush on you?" His tone was much quieter and more serious, even if his words weren't. Jon opened his mouth to try to answer, but he couldn't seem to say anything. He just looked down. "You didn't? Seriously? Damn, I really thought..." He paused. "So, uh, I probably shouldn't have said that. I made the whole thing up! All of it! Even the surreptitious glances thing. I swear."
Jon looked back up and met Brendon's eyes. "Brendon..." was as far as Jon got before they heard Ryan's voice in the hallway. Spencer's reply sounded much closer to the kitchen than Jon felt comfortable with. He looked at Brendon and gave a weak attempt at a smile in answer to Brendon's grimace of apology.
Spencer walked in, Ryan a few steps behind him. Ryan went to the refrigerator, pulled out another beer and handed it over to Spencer. He took another and gestured toward Jon and Brendon. Jon took one, popped off the cap, and took a good, long drink.
Spencer was looking from Jon to Brendon and back again. "What's going on?" he asked quietly.
"Nothing," Jon said quickly. "I was just trying to find out who won the marshmallow bet, so we should have dessert now."
Brendon raised his eyebrows. "Marshmallow bet?" Jon grinned.
"Yeah, Bren. We always make bets on the amount of marshmallows when you bring dessert," Ryan informed him.
Brendon narrowed his eyes. "Is this some sort of Mormon stereotype thing? 'Cause if it is, then I'm feeling very oppressed and harassed."
Ryan rolled his eyes. He grabbed the covered dish that contained dessert and said, "I'm pretty sure you'll get over it," as he headed for the living room. "Grab some plates or whatever we need."
Brendon did and followed him. Jon glanced over at Spencer, and when Spence met his eyes, Jon quickly looked at the floor. "We should..." he said and gestured towards the doorway.
Spencer hesitated, but all he said was, "Yeah," and he walked out of the room. Jon took a deep breath and followed. Yeah, Spencer had heard at least part of that conversation with Brendon.
===
Brendon hadn't been drinking, so even though Ryan's house was within walking distance of Spencer's, he dropped Jon and Spencer off later that night. Spencer was almost out of the car, when Brendon said, "Jon. I'm really sorry about before. I didn't mean to be all up in your business and I--"
Jon cut him off. "It's fine, Bren. Promise." He smiled to prove he meant it. "Don't worry about it." Brendon smiled back and nodded.
Jon stood on the porch and watched Brendon's car disappear down the street, and then he went inside. Spencer had turned on the hall light, but when Jon went into the living room, it was dark. Spencer was sitting on one end of the couch, head back and eyes closed.
Jon sat down on the other side. He glanced around for the remote, but it was on the end table next to Spencer. He just sat and waited for Spencer to say whatever it was that he was clearly trying to convince himself to say. He could tell that there was something.
They'd been sitting there for a few minutes when Spencer said, without even opening his eyes, "What was Brendon apologizing for?"
Jon just said, "Nothing."
But Spencer was clearly having none of that. He turned his head and opened one eye to glare dubiously at Jon. "It was just something he said when we were washing dishes, that's all. No big deal. I wasn't even upset about it."
"Ah," was all Spencer said. They were quiet for a few more minutes. Just when Jon was considering getting up and going to bed, Spencer spoke again. "What did he say?"
"Hmm?" Jon hadn't been expecting Spencer to talk again.
"Brendon. What did he say that he felt like he had to apologize for?"
"It was nothing, Spence. He just... It was nothing. Really."
Spencer still had his eyes closed, still wasn't looking at Jon. Which meant that a.) Spencer was uncomfortable, and b.) that Jon could look all he wanted. And he did.
Jon looked at Spencer's hair and imagined his hands pulling it as Spencer sucked him off. He looked at Spencer's mouth and wanted to kiss it. He could see himself leaving a trail of wet kisses down Spencer's throat, leaving a mark just below Spencer's collarbone, where it could be hidden or seen easily. Jon's imagination kept going down, over Spencer's body, and right into the gutter. Jon thought of licking Spencer's nipples and leaving another trail of kisses down his stomach. And then Spencer would flip them over, settle Jon so that he was half-sitting with pillows under his head, and kneel over him. Spencer would slowly guide his cock into Jon's mouth, but he wouldn't be gentle about it. He'd go slow, but he'd just keep going until Jon had no choice but to deep throat him.
Jon nearly moaned out loud just thinking about it. He had to shift around just a little to accommodate his erection. His mouth was watering, he wanted to taste Spencer so bad.
"Was it about me and you?"
Spencer's voice shocked Jon right out of his daydream. "Huh? What?"
Spencer was looking at Jon now. "Whatever Brendon said to you. Was it about me and you?"
Jon was still trying to get the images out of his head. He was distracted. His defenses were down. Before he knew it, he said, "Yeah, it was."
Spencer nodded. "Okay... So... What do you want to do about it?" he asked slowly.
Jon was really glad that his brain-to-mouth filter was starting to kick in and he did not say, "You should fuck me right now, right here, on this couch."
Instead, he just lamely said, "What do you mean?"
Spencer shrugged. "We can pretend Brendon never said anything and that this entire house isn't full of sexual tension. Or we can fuck and get it out of our systems," he said matter-of-factly.
Jon really, really liked the sound of Option 2. A lot.
But it was Spencer. Jon had been telling himself no since the airport. Like Tom had said, Jon had a good thing going with his band. Even more than he wanted Spencer, he wanted to keep his band. And he couldn't help hearing Brendon's voice in his head: "Spencer's big gay crush on you." The way Brendon had said it, in that serious voice, told Jon that it was more than just sex that Spencer wanted. And Jon... Well, Jon kind of just wanted sex. He didn't really want a relationship at the moment, and he knew that one with Spencer could never be casual.
He said quietly, "I don't think it's a good idea, Spence."
"Why not? I mean, we've been dancing around this since you got here, Jon. You can't deny that. I'm not blind; I've seen you looking. We're adults. We want each other. I don't see why it has to be that big of a deal."
"Because, Spence." Jon stood up and started pacing. "Because of the band. I am not fucking that up. Things would get all awkward."
"Things won't get awkward if we don't let them get awkward," Spencer said pointedly. "We want each other, we fuck, we get over it. It wouldn't be more than that."
Jon was starting to have trouble coming up with coherent counter-arguments. He just knew he had to say no. He could remember exactly why he had to later. He took a deep breath and said, "No. It's not a good idea. I'm going to go to go upstairs to your guest room now and go to bed. And, no offense, but I'm going to lock the door." He paused on the third step, turned back, and added, "Maybe you should lock yours, too."
Spencer gave Jon a positively wicked smile. "Yeah, no. I think I might just leave it open all night. Who knows, you might have nightmares and need to be comforted in the middle of the night."
Jon rolled his eyes. "Doubtful, Smith. Very doubtful."
===
Two months ago, Jon would have said that Spencer was made of pure awesomeness. Two days ago, Jon would have said he was made of pure hotness. But two minutes ago, Jon discovered that Spencer Smith was actually made of pure evil.
Jon had gotten up first and was just sitting down at the table with a cup of coffee when Spencer came into the kitchen, yawning. Jon stared as Spencer grabbed a mug and headed right for the coffee maker.
"Morning," he greeted Jon. He poured his coffee, went to the fridge for milk, and didn't seem to notice that Jon was sitting at the kitchen table and practically drooling.
Spencer just stood at the counter in nothing but indecently tight black boxer briefs and sipped his coffee like he wasn't the hottest, sexiest, most evil man that Jon had ever seen. "So what are you up to today?" Spencer asked casually.
"Um. What?" Jon was never at his most eloquent before his second cup of coffee, but he just could not think with Spencer standing there.
Spencer gave him an amused smile. "I said, what are you up to today?"
"Oh. Um." Jon tried to think. "I don't... Um. I don't know? Actually, I have to go upstairs now." Jon didn't even pause for more coffee. He got up and practically ran up the stairs, as best he could with a hard-on, anyway.
He slipped into the bathroom, slammed the door behind him. He leaned back on it, and lasted about two seconds before he shoved his pants down and put his hand on his cock. He jerked himself quickly, and when he came, he banged his head back against the door and couldn't quite keep in a (probably rather embarrassing) noise.
As he stood trying to catch his breath, he could have sworn he heard footsteps walking away from the bathroom, but was sure it was just his imagination.
===
The next night, they decided to watch all three original Star Wars movies. Jon called both Brendon and Ryan, hoping for chaperones, but Brendon had a birthday party for his brother and Keltie had just gotten in the day before, so it was just Jon and Spencer. But it would be fine. By the time Jon had gotten up enough courage to go back downstairs the day before, Spencer was dressed and acted perfectly normal the rest of the day. And then that morning, he had showered and dressed before he even went downstairs for coffee. Just in case, though, Jon sat on the couch, curled into the corner, as far away from where Spencer sat on the armchair as he could get without being in another room.
The first movie went just fine. Spencer stayed where he was, Jon stayed where he was. But then, just as Jon was getting comfortable, it was Fuck the Empire, Evil Spencer Strikes Back. Spencer got up to put the next DVD in, and then went to the kitchen. He brought back two beers, handed one to Jon, and sat down on the other side of the couch, not nearly as far or as close as Jon would have liked.
They were only partway through the movie when Spencer shifted around and lay on the couch with his head in Jon's lap. "This okay?" he asked as he glanced up at Jon.
Jon glared. "I hate you."
Evil Spencer gave him an innocent, angelic smile. "Shh, just watch the movie. It'll be fine." And then he settled in on Jon's lap to do just that. Which meant Jon was going to spend the rest of the night trying to tamp down his erection because Spencer's head was right there. And his hand was resting on Jon's knee, his thumb rubbing lightly back and forth.
Jon tried to watch the movie. He really did. But if he had never seen it before, he would have had no idea what it was about. There was a short--too short, in Jon's opinion--reprieve when the second movie ended and Spencer got up to switch the DVDs. But once the next movie started, Spencer was right back, head in Jon's lap, hand on his knee.
About twenty minutes in, Jon was having a tough time keeping still. Even the prospect of the Ewoks couldn't distract him and those little dudes were pretty awesome. He really just wanted Spencer to turn around and put his mouth on his dick. That would be amazing. If Spencer would just turn over, slowly unbutton Jon's jeans and pull out his cock and take it into his mouth... Jon cleared his throat and shifted just a little under Spencer.
"You okay?" Spencer turned his head to look at Jon.
Jon looked at him in disbelief for a moment. "No, Spence!"
"Oh." Spencer pushed himself up a bit on his elbows. "What's wrong?" That did, thankfully, get his head off of Jon's lap. But it also put his mouth within kissing range.
"Spencer..." Jon ground out. He put his head back and closed his eyes. "What are you doing to me?"
Jon opened his eyes and watched Spencer sit up and kneel on the couch, his knees digging into Jon's thigh a little. He grabbed the remote and turned off the movie before he said, "Jon, I'm not doing anything to you. That's kind of the point."
"Spence, it's such a bad idea. Seriously. It could fuck up everything. You saw what happened with Tom and Bill."
Spencer rolled his eyes. "That's because they were stupid about it. Bill got all jealous and started sleeping around, which made Tom jealous, and they're both emotionally retarded people who couldn't just talk to each other. We've never had that problem, right? Besides, it'd just be...a thing. Not even a thing. Just, you know, whatever. We fuck a few times, and then you go back to Chicago next week."
"Would that really be it, though?" Jon asked quietly.
"Yes! Jon. I want you. You want me. We're both consenting adults who would have safe sex. It'd just be a good time, just for fun. Friends with benefits. There's no reason that it would have to be more than that."
Jon took a deep breath. He was so close. So close to taking Spencer at his word, ignoring everything that Brendon told him, ignoring everything that Jon didn't ever think about. "I just... I can't lose you guys, Spence. Panic's the best thing that's ever happened to me. I can't lose it."
"You won't, I promise. It'll be fine. We won't let it be anything else but fine, okay?" Spencer whispered as he leaned in close. His lips brushed over Jon's lightly, it was barely a kiss, but if Jon had any fight left in him, it disappeared at that first touch.
Spencer shifted until he was kneeling over Jon, one knee on each side. His hands were on Jon's cheeks, holding his head in place exactly where he wanted it. Jon's hands slid up under Spencer's shirt. Spencer broke the kiss to pull his own and then Jon's shirt off. Jon's hands got caught up, and Spencer just grabbed his wrists and held them above Jon's head. Jon couldn't help the moan and the way his hips jerked up at the way Spencer was holding him down. Spencer pulled back just a little. "Like that, huh?" he asked with a smile.
Jon just nodded and leaned forward to catch Spencer's lips again. Spencer's hands slid down Jon's arms and Jon shivered. He managed to pull the shirt off his hands and drop it somewhere. Spencer kept right on going, running his hands over Jon's chest and then unbuttoning and unzipping his jeans. Spencer climbed down until he was on the floor, between Jon's legs. He pulled Jon's jeans and Jon lifted his hips for Spence to pull them off.
Apparently Evil Spencer was not just into seducing Jon, he was also all about teasing. He licked and nipped and kissed Jon's thighs, his stomach, his hips, avoiding his cock altogether. "Spence, please," Jon gasped. Spencer smiled up at him and then ducked his head and licked a stripe up the underside of Jon's dick and over the slit. He paused and smiled at Jon again, just to let Jon know he was doing it all on purpose.
Jon let out a whine and pushed his hips up, telling Spencer what he wanted without words. Spencer narrowed his eyes and put his hands on Jon's hips and shoved Jon down. He held on so tight, kept Jon so still, that Jon knew he'd have bruises later. The thought of that just turned Jon on even more.
And then, thank fucking god, and then Spencer took Jon in his mouth. Jon knew he wasn't going to last long at all. Spencer squeezed Jon's ass and hips tighter and pulled him up, and then pushed him back down, and then he did it again. And that was so hot, Spencer controlling every second of Jon fucking his mouth. (Jon fucking loved sex with strong guys.)
Jon felt it building up inside him, knew he was only seconds from coming. He tugged at Spencer's hair a little, but Spencer just pushed Jon's cock further down his own throat, and that was enough. Jon came, harder and, fuck, louder than he had in a long time. He was pretty sure his throat would be a little raw later, especially if Spencer let him go down on him too.
Spencer swallowed and eased off of Jon's dick. Jon collapsed back on the couch, but he grabbed Spencer's arm and pulled enough for Spence to get the hint and climb back over Jon and kiss him. Jon ran his hands up and down Spencer's sides before reaching down and unbuttoning Spencer's jeans. He pulled back from Spencer's mouth to ask, "D'you want me to...?"
Spencer shook his head. "Won't last. Just. Hand. Please," he breathed. He was right. Jon jacked him three or four times and then he was coming, all over Jon's chest.
He dropped his head to Jon's shoulder, breathing heavy and loud. He ran his fingers over Jon's chest and then brought his hand up to Jon's mouth. Jon looked over and kept eye contact while he opened his mouth and sucked Spencer's fingers in and licked them clean. "Jesus," Spencer whispered as he pulled out his fingers and leaned over to replace them with his tongue.
After a few minutes, or maybe hours, Spencer leaned back and said, "Bed?"
Jon looked down at the mess on himself and said, "Shower."
Spencer smirked. "Yeah, okay. Shower, then bed."
Jon nodded. "Sounds like a plan."
"Going to sleep alone with the door locked tonight?" Spencer asked as they walked up the stairs.
"Fuck you," was Jon's brilliant, cutting comeback.
"Mmm, something tells me you'd rather I fuck you."
Jon's mouth went a little dry at the suggestion. All he managed to say was, "Um."
===
There were a couple of things Jon knew about Spencer. Stuff he'd noticed right away and stuff he'd picked up after all that time spent on buses with no personal space. While Jon had known these things before, he never would have considered the impact on his sex life.
One: Spencer was pretty good at reading people and figuring out what they wanted, sometimes even when they didn't know.
Jon figured it came from years of interpreting Ryan. But, for Jon, it meant that Spencer had already figured out that he didn't really want to be in charge during sex.
For instance, their second time was a few hours after the first. They had showered and collapsed in Spencer's bed, sated and sleepy. Until Spencer had woken Jon up before dawn with his mouth around Jon's cock. Jon was just waking up and realizing that it was, in fact, not the best wet dream he'd ever had, but real life, when Spencer was pushing Jon's legs a little further apart and slipping a finger behind his balls. He'd barely gotten in a fingertip when Jon came. Spencer swallowed and crawled up over Jon and kissed him. Jon had enough presence of mind to reach down and wrap his fist around Spencer's cock.
He only stroked a couple of times before Spencer was pushing up off of him and crawling up further. He kneeled up, over Jon's face and Jon eagerly took Spencer in his mouth. Spencer didn't seem to be in much of a hurry and his thrusts were shallow. Jon gripped the backs of Spence's thighs as he slowly sucked at Spencer's pace. He couldn't help arching up a bit, trying to get more of Spencer, and trying not to whine when he didn't get it right away. Spencer backed off a little, gave Jon only the head of his cock, as he looked down at him with a wicked smile on his face. Jon did the best he could to glare back. It was kind of tough to pout with his mouth so full, though.
But then Spence pushed forward and kept pushing, slowly but deliberately, stopping only when he hit the back of Jon's throat. Jon's eyes slid shut and he moaned around Spencer. Spencer inhaled quick and deep and began to really fuck Jon's mouth, harder and faster. Jon could tell when Spence was getting close and he kept his hands on Spencer's ass, pulling him close and not letting him pull out. Spencer came down his throat and Jon had to admit he liked it.
Spencer shifted back and dropped to Jon's chest. He buried his face in the pillow, just above Jon's shoulder. "Fuck, Jon," he murmured.
Jon couldn't help wrapping his arms around Spencer and giving him a little squeeze. "Yeah," he said, his voice raw and used. He could feel a smile touch his lips. "Yeah."
Two: Spencer didn't like interruptions.
Two days later, Jon still couldn't get enough of Spencer. Spencer showed no signs of slowing down either. They were on Spencer's bed in the middle of the afternoon. Jon was on his back with a pillow under his hips, legs spread wide. Spencer was kneeling in front of him, working a slicked-up finger inside him. Jon was about to ask for another, when his phone started ringing on the nightstand.
"Ignore it," Spencer said.
Jon nodded. But instead of a beep for a message, it rang again. Spencer's hand stilled, but stayed where it was. Jon stretched and grabbed it, worried for a quick second that it could be an emergency. "It's Tom. He'll keep calling," Jon said as the phone started ringing for the third time.
"Then I guess you better answer it and talk to him," Spencer told him as he pushed his finger deeper into Jon.
Jon tried his best to not sound breathless as he said, "Hey."
"Hey. Thought I'd see how things were going with you and your boy out there."
"Things are fine," Jon said through gritted teeth. He accidentally let out a small, "Ah!" as Spencer added a second finger.
"What are you-- Are you jerking off, Walker? That's sick man, why'd you answer the damn phone?"
"'M not jerking off, and you would have kept calling." Spencer was adding a third finger, stretching Jon further. Jon bit his lip to keep from making any other awkward noises.
"Then what the fuck are you doing?" Tom paused and Jon couldn't say anything. Spencer had just wrapped his hand around Jon's dick. "Are you fucking him, Jon?" Jon couldn't help the way his hips twitched when Tom figured it out. There was maybe a small possibility that Jon liked the idea of being watched. "Jesus Christ! What the fuck did I tell you? And why the fuck am I still on the phone with you?" Tom shouted.
"Don't know," Jon said in a rush.
Tom hung up. Which was fair.
Jon hung up the phone and dropped it on the floor. "Fuck, Spence! That was--oh god!--that was just mean!"
Spencer shrugged as he continued to use both hands to drive Jon absolutely insane. "I was in the middle of something. I don't like to stop what I'm doing. And don't think I didn't notice how excited you were when Tom guessed that we were fucking. I could hear him. Are you a little bit of an exhibitionist, Jon? Hmmm?" Spencer leaned forward to steal a quick kiss.
"No?" Jon answered breathlessly.
"So the thought of getting caught doesn't turn you on?" Spencer asked as he pulled his fingers away from Jon's ass and cock. He reached for the condom sitting on the blanket next to him.
"Uh-uh, oh fuck!" Jon answered Spencer's question as Spencer thrust deep into Jon with barely a warning.
"I think you're lying to me, Jon," Spencer said, his voice getting breathier. "I think you like to imagine people watching you. I think you want someone to walk through that door right now."
Jon was limited to incoherent noises by then. Spencer's hand was back around Jon's dick, jerking him hard and quick to match the rhythm he set. "You do, don't you? Should I call Ryan and Brendon later? Tell them to come over? And just coincidentally happen to be fucking you on the couch when they let themselves in?"
Jon met Spencer's thrusts, shoved his hips up and back hard. His hands were gripping Spencer's ass, trying to hold him closer, to bring him in deeper. Spencer's cock hit his prostate one more time and Jon came, head back and mouth open but silent.
Spencer fucked him harder, saying, "Fuck, Jon. You're so fucking hot like this. Fucking... Want to-- AH!" And then he stiffened, one, two deep thrusts and he wasn't silent when he came. He let out a noise that Jon was pretty sure was supposed to be his name.
Spencer collapsed over him, biting Jon's shoulder lightly. After a minute, he moved, pulled out and rolled off of Jon. He took a deep breath and then got up to get rid of the condom. He disappeared into the bathroom and came back with a warm washcloth. He wiped off the mess on Jon's stomach, then his own. He tossed it on the floor and then laid back down on his stomach, head pillowed on his hands and looked at Jon.
Spencer was wearing a satisfied, almost smug smile.
"What?" Jon asked suspiciously. He had the distinct impression Spencer was laughing at him.
"Nothing." Jon raised his eyebrow at that. Spencer shrugged. "I like knowing things about you, Jon Walker."
Jon considered that. "See? I knew us fucking was a bad idea," he said, but he couldn't even keep the smile away to finish the sentence.
"Shut up," Spencer answered. "You're having fun."
"Yeah, I am."
"And you're a ridiculous exhibitionist!"
Jon shoved at Spencer's shoulder. "Shut up! I am not!"
"You so are! I'm definitely telling."
Jon groaned. "Please, whatever happens, do not let Brendon find out."
Spencer laughed. "Why not?"
"Because you know how he is. When he finds out he has something in common with someone, he gets all excited and wants to talk about it all the time,"Jon said.
Spencer laughed more. "Oh my god, that's so true!"
"I know!" Jon's stomach rumbled, changing the subject for him. "Spencer Smith, you need to feed me."
"I need to feed you? Maybe you need to feed me."
"Oh, please. I gave you my ass, Smith. That deserves at least dinner."
"Ugh. Fine. We haven't seen Ryan and Brendon in a day and a half. They might think we're dead. Should we tell them to meet us at Port o' Subs?"
"Sure," Jon agreed as he got up. He stretched his arms over his head and said, "I'm going to go take a shower." Spencer stood up and Jon gave him a quick kiss before heading into the bathroom.
Three: Spencer liked to give everything he had to a performance.
Jon was lying on the floor of the living room, taking pictures and playing with the dogs. Spencer came in from the kitchen and laughed at him. "What?" Jon demanded. "I can't help it if your dogs want to be rock stars, too."
Spencer sat down with them and took over the playing part to leave Jon to the picture-taking part. For the most part, Spencer ignored Jon and his camera, but every so often, Jon caught him looking directly at him. He looked like he was considering something, was getting more and more distracted with each picture Jon took.
"You know what we should do?" Spencer finally said.
"What?" Jon asked between shots.
"You should take pictures of me."
Jon was confused. "I'm taking pictures of you right now." Jon lowered his camera. "Wait. Are you afraid the puppies are prettier than you? Are you jealous of your dogs, Spence? Because I'm telling you right now, you should be. They're awesome. You know, for dogs."
"Shut up. No, I mean, you should take pictures of me. Like, you know. Naked pictures."
Maybe Jon should have seen that coming. But he definitely didn't. "Oh. Um." It would be really nice if Jon could say anything else ever in front of Spencer. "I...I could do that."
"Yeah?" Spencer finally met Jon's eyes. He was smiling a little. "Cool. When do you want to do it?"
Jon thought for a second and looked out the window. "Well, if we start now, we'll get some good light. We can take more tomorrow, too."
Spencer nodded. "Okay. So should I..."
"Let's start in your room. Why don't you go up? I want to get my other camera," Jon told him, getting into 'professional' mode. Jon followed Spencer upstairs, but veered off to the guest room, where a lot of his stuff still was. He figured it would be a good idea to use his 35mm camera rather than a digital. He could develop them himself, and there was probably less chance of a Wentz that way.
Jon walked into the bedroom still loading a roll of film. Spencer was sitting on the edge of the bed, naked, and looking a little bit nervous. Jon got the camera ready and then stood in front of Spencer. He bent over to kiss his forehead. "Relax. Or it'll show in the pictures."
Spencer rolled his eyes, but he looked up at Jon with a smile. Jon couldn't help but lean down to kiss him properly. Spencer kissed him back, but before it got too intense, he pushed Jon away, laughing. "No! You're gonna get me all hard and I don't want them to be porno pictures!"
Jon said, "Aw, man! I wanted the hot, slutty pictures!"
"Well... Maybe a few," Spence said with a dirty smile.
Jon wiggled his eyebrows. "Okay, so first, I think you should come stand over here, in the doorway." Jon pointed and then started positioning Spencer how he wanted him. "Right and then look over here." Spencer followed his finger and looked down.
Jon stepped back a few paces and started snapping pictures. Even if Jon hadn't been there for most of them, he would know that Spencer had done more than a few photo shoots in his life. Once Jon had gotten him to smile and gotten him over those initial nerves, Spencer was completely professional. Jon pointed and positioned and posed him all over the room and Spencer was mostly quiet and good at following instructions.
Once Jon had gotten through his ideas, Spencer had a few of his own. Apparently he'd been lying when he said he didn't want porno pictures. Jon had been going for a more artsy, nude photo-type thing. For example, Jon made the bed before he asked Spencer to pose on it, sitting nicely on the comforter. Spencer, on the other hand, put the bed back into its disheveled state before laying down on his right side, head propped on his right arm, legs arranged to hide his dick. The look he gave the camera was smoldering. That was the only word Jon had for it.
After that, he rolled onto his back, his arms up, hands holding onto the bottom of the headboard, back slightly arched, one leg up and bent at the knee. His head was back, just a little, and he had a peaceful expression on his face. His eyes were closed and he had just a hint of a smile on his lips.
Jon snapped a few more pictures before he couldn't help but whisper, "Jesus, Spence."
Spencer opened his eyes and leaned back on his elbows to look at Jon. "Hmm?"
Jon cleared his throat. "Nothing." Jon put the camera back up between him and Spencer, trying hard to put back that barrier between artist and subject. Though if he was being honest with himself, he would admit that he wasn't sure who was which anymore.
Spencer gave him a sexy, knowing smile and said, "You sure?"
Jon continued working. He moved around the room, trying out different angles. Spencer's eyes followed him ruthlessly. Spencer was clearly playing it up for the camera at that point, even allowing himself to slowly get hard.
For the last picture Jon managed to take, he was kneeling at the foot of the bed, blankets spilling off of it. Spencer was crawling over towards him with a look that Jon would never, ever forget, whether or not the pictures even turned out okay.
Spencer reached over and took the camera. He leaned back to place it on the nightstand and then he reached forward and put his hands on Jon's shoulders.
He pushed Jon down as he kissed him. And, man, Spencer had some moves. If Jon had tried that whole sexy, climbing-off-the-bed-while-kissing thing, he'd have fallen over and knocked them both unconscious. Spencer, though. Spencer was kissing Jon from the bed one second, and on top, spreading Jon's legs wide.
Spencer whispered as he nipped at Jon's ear, "You should take your clothes off. I wanna fuck you." Jon nodded as his hips thrust up at the thought. Spencer put his mouth back to Jon's and kissed him, hot and wet, but short. Before Jon could really get into it, Spence was gone to get lube and a condom.
Jon stood up and was out of his clothes before Spencer had even opened the nightstand drawer. He got up onto the bed. He waited, kneeling, as Spencer opened a new box of condoms. Spence turned around, supplies in hand, and gave him a questioning look. All Jon said was, "Rugburn."
Spencer laughed a little and knelt in front of him. He put his arms around Jon's neck and kissed him again, still quick and hot as hell. This time it was Jon who pulled away first. He knew what he wanted, so he turned around and settled on his hands and knees in front of Spencer. He heard Spencer's "Fuuuuuck" as he grabbed Jon's hips, fingers already clutching tight enough to leave bruises.
Then Spencer did that thing, where he knows what people want before they know themselves. Jon was waiting, wanted Spencer's fingers, needed something inside him. But before he could even ask, he felt Spencer's beard, Spencer's lips, Spencer's tongue.
Jon let out a surprised, "OH!" and dropped down so that his head was resting on his arms on the mattress. He tried not to push himself back into Spence's face, he didn't want Spencer to stop, but Christ, it was hard to keep still. Especially when Spencer reached around and wrapped his hand around Jon's cock. And, oh god, if he kept that up, it would all be over way too soon.
"Spence... Fuck, Spencer. Fuck me. Please," Jon said breathlessly. Spencer squeezed the base of Jon's cock as he pushed his tongue into Jon even further. "Jesus motherfu--Ah!" Jon couldn't get out any other words, just noises.
Spencer lifted his head and Jon heard him opening the lube. He'd barely put two fingers into Jon, barely stretched him at all, before Jon was telling him to, "Fucking fuck me, Spence! 'M ready! Christ!" He knew he could stand to be a little more prepared, but he was hoping that the burn and that hurt-so-good pain of Spencer's dick would bring him back from the edge and give him a little more stamina. As it was, he almost came just from the sound of the condom wrapper as Spence opened it.
It did burn a bit when Spencer entered him, pushing steadily until he was all the way in, until Jon felt Spencer's thighs lined up with his own. Spencer stopped, and for a minute the only sound in the room was their harsh and heavy breathing.
Jon felt Spencer slide out, almost unbearably slow, driving him crazy. He pushed in slow and steady again, but when he paused, he let out a quiet, "Jon. Fuck."
"Spence, please," was all Jon could reply. He felt Spencer lean forward and press his mouth to Jon's neck. That was sweet and all, but Jon really, really needed to be fucked. He pushed his hips back, not all that gently, trying to fuck himself on Spencer's cock.
He felt a breath of laughter on his neck and shivered when Spencer sat back up and the cool air hit his back. But the important part was that Spencer listened to him. After a couple of quick, hard thrusts, Spencer's cock hit Jon's prostate. A few more and Jon was coming, without a hand anywhere near his dick.
He managed, thanks mostly to Spencer's grip on his hips, to stay up on his hands and knees. He loved that feeling, when he'd already come, and Spencer was getting closer, holding Jon up and basically just using him to get himself off. It was incredibly hot, and made Jon a bit disappointed that there was no way he'd be able to go again anytime soon.
Spencer came and they both collapsed onto the bed. Spencer stayed, still inside and on top of Jon, for a minute or two while they both tried to catch their breath. Just when Jon was about to maybe complain that Spencer was too fucking heavy, he felt Spencer pull out. He must have dealt with the condom quickly because he was back in a second, draping himself over Jon's body. Jon hummed and said, "Hi."
His face was turned toward Spencer's; they were inches apart. "Hi," Spencer said back in the same fucked-out tone. Spencer was quiet for a few more minutes, but when Jon thought he might have been asleep, he said, "I wish all photo shoots ended like that."
Jon laughed and closed his eyes.
===
The four of them hung out the night before Jon was due back in Chicago. Pizza and some random movie Ryan Netflixed. "At least there aren't any subtitles," Brendon pointed out when Spencer started complaining.
Brendon dropped to the floor and Ryan stretched out on the loveseat, which left the couch for Jon and Spencer. Jon sat at one end and instead of taking the other, Spencer flopped down and put his head on Jon's lap. "This okay?" he asked with a knowing smile.
Jon glared. "I hate you." He flicked Spencer's head to make his point.
Spencer simply said, "Yeah, you keep saying that. And yet, you've been fucking me every chance you get." Jon's eyes went wide and Spencer bit his lip when he realized that there were two other people in the room when he'd said that. Spencer cleared his throat and said, "Um..."
Ryan just said drolly, "Please. Even Brendon saw that coming."
"Hey!" Brendon cried out. "I resent that! And anyway, it's kind of hypocritical coming from the most unobservant guy ever!"
"I'm the second-most unobservant guy. First prize goes to you."
"Yeah, whatever," Brendon said, crossing his arms. "Can we just watch the damn movie now, please?" Ryan shot him a smug "I win" smile and hit play on the remote.
Jon looked over and met Brendon's eyes when the movie started. He gave him a grateful smile. Brendon winked and turned back to the tv.
Jon decided not to think about anything, to just enjoy the company of his best friends. He was flying back to Chicago the next morning and he'd be there for at least four or five weeks. He was excited about that. He definitely missed his family, his cats, and his city.
But that was hours away and at the moment, he had Brendon and Ryan and Spencer, a surprisingly-good-for-being-anywhere-outside-Chicago pizza, and a weird-but-okay movie. He wasn't going to worry about stupid shit like the way he'd panicked just a little bit at Spencer's slip and Ryan's reaction. That would be stupid, and Jon Walker was not stupid.
No matter what his bandmates or Tom Conrad may have said in the past.
===
part II
Panic at the Disco: Jon/Spencer
23,350 words
explicit
Disclaimer: I made the whole thing up. And if you found it by googling your own name or that of someone you know personally? For god's sake, hit the damn back button. That's what it's there for.
Notes: Also known as The Accidental Epic (Told in Three Parts). Written for bandombigbang 2009. Sort of. It was originally inspired by a prompt from airinshaw in, oh, 2007 maybe? That 5,000ish-word story I planned to write you? I started it in 2008 and now it's actually done. So this is for you, my dear (even if you probably don't even remember telling me what to write for you *g*).
embracepassion is one of my absolute very favorites, not least because she sat through many, many train rides and read many, many emails in which I rambled a lot about this. She is a fabulous cheerleader and the only person to catch the part where Jon's clothes were magically gone. <3
Muchas, muchas gracias to shihadchick for multiple betas and riverlight for taking time out of her travels in Sweden to help me out. You were both extraordinarily helpful. I love you both and I really wish you weren't on other sides of the world from me!
And finally, huge thanks to the three wonderful people (fcuk_it16, silver_etoile, and unrequited_rain) who did mixes for this story (three! I still do not understand this) and the one (kazaizor) who did cover art for it. They are all awesome and the goodies (and more gushing) can be found here.
And hey, look at that! There's a story under there and everything!
Part I // Part II // Part III // Extras
Jon first learned about the Kinsey scale when he was about seventeen. And if zero is completely heterosexual, and six is completely homosexual? Jon Walker is a three. So very much a three.
He likes women. Loves women, actually. They're so soft and pretty and, yeah, he's kind of a sucker for high heels and short skirts. He loves long hair and painted nails and, oh man, boobs. Seriously, breasts are nothing short of amazingly, incredibly awesome.
He doesn't think it's particularly chauvinistic of him to enjoy occasionally being the big, strong man around a woman. He doesn't ever treat a girl like she's weak or anything (because he knows that most women aren't, just like he knows that some men are), but sometimes it's kind of nice to be called in to kill a spider or lift something heavy.
He loves sex with girls and driving them crazy with his hands, his mouth, his dick. He likes to go down on women, which apparently some guys don't. He doesn't understand how anyone could not like it: the way it makes them arch underneath him and grab his hair, and the way their thighs shake and they're dripping wet, and the way they cry out when they come. It's just so fucking good.
Yeah. Jon really, really loves women.
He also really, really loves men. Their bodies, their muscles, their strength. Jon loves it when guys take the lead and shove him into a wall to kiss him or blow him or fuck him.
And, speaking of fucking, their cocks. While more domineering women aren't really his type, Jon knows that when it comes to guys, he's a total bottom. He loves getting fucked; he's never actually fucked a guy. He can't think of anything better than a big, thick cock stretching him, filling him. Except maybe his own buried deep in a girl's cunt. Or, better yet, both at once. (Sadly, it's never happened in real life. But he clings to the hope that it will someday. It's his favorite jerk-off fantasy. It pretty much guarantees quick results, which is a plus when it comes to touring and living on a bus.)
It's actually possible that Jon just really enjoys sex.
So basically, when Jon joined Panic! at the Disco, he knew that if he fucked up his big chance at being in a band, it wouldn't be because he was attracted to one of his bandmates. (Thanks for that lesson, Tom and Bill, in how best to screw over your band.) But Panic were kind of the furthest thing from his type that he could get. Everything was fine. Golden.
===
It's such a cliche: Everything was fine. Until. Until one day. One morning, when Jon got off a plane in Las Vegas, Nevada for some quality band-bonding time and did a double-take when he spotted the bandmates picking him up. There was Ryan, tall and skinny in skinnier jeans and an old hoodie. And then there was Spencer. Spencer Fucking Smith. Looking all kinds of grown up and, well, manly.
Thinking about it later, Jon knew that it had happened fairly gradually, as such things do. Spencer had begun hitting that last growth spurt before Jon went back to Chicago. And it wasn't like he didn't know Spencer could grow facial hair or anything. But, Christ, who knew he'd fill out so well or look that damn good if he stopped shaving for a couple weeks.
After a brief, stunned moment, Jon managed to walk forward again, helped along, no doubt, by that obnoxious ten-year-old who'd been three rows up knocking into him. Ryan and Spencer were arguing about something and missed his whole embarrassing jaw-drop thing, thank god. As he got closer, he heard Spencer's, "Fuck you," and Ryan's answering, "No, fuck you."
"Ryan, why didn't you tell me?" Jon asked to get their attention.
"Tell you what?"
"That Spencer Smith is actually a boy?" Jon stood with wide eyes that weren't completely an exaggeration.
Ryan laughed. Spencer said, "Your mom is actually a boy," while his face turned just the slightest bit pink.
Jon smirked as he gave Ryan a bro-hug. He turned to Spencer to do the same, but Spencer just raised his eyebrows and said, "Fuck off, Walker. We're not friends anymore."
Jon staggered back, clutching his chest. "That hurts, Spence."
Spencer rolled his eyes. "Yeah, yeah. You'll get over it. You got bags or anything?"
"Nah, just this," Jon gestured towards his carry-on and backpack.
"Awesome. We should go before that group over there gets courageous."
Ryan glanced over at the group of six preteen girls looking like they really, really wanted to come over and get stories for their next MySpace posts. "Oh god," he whispered, sounding horrified. "They've got cameras! I look like shit! Let's go!" He rushed them out of there and to Spencer's car.
===
Jon was in trouble. Big trouble. Despite Spencer's declarations regarding the demise of their friendship, Jon was still staying at Spencer's house.
Which meant he got to see Spencer all the time. In the morning over coffee and Pop-Tarts, when he was in his boxers and an old, worn t-shirt. When he was playing with the dogs outside. In the afternoon when Spencer was lazing around on the couch and "just flipping channels, Jon, seriously. Not watching Dr. Phil, I swear." After a shower, when Spencer was still wet and covered only by a towel slung low on his hips, showing off his drummer arms and shoulders and back and that chest hair Jon swears grew overnight or he totally would have noticed it before (if he'd actually been looking).
And he didn't even have work to distract him. This trip was just supposed to be some bonding and relaxing and "getting to know each other as people again" time (according to Ryan). After their adventures in the wilderness and scrapping an entire album, they had all taken a break from work and from each other. Jon went back to Chicago for a couple of weeks, and then had come to Vegas for about two weeks to hang out. Then he was going back to Chicago to spend some more time with his family and his friends, and finally coming back again when they could book a rehearsal space and studio time.
But yeah. Big, big trouble. That was what he told Tom when he called. Thankfully Spencer was at his parents' for dinner. Jon had been invited of course, but he really, really needed a break from Spencer. He went with the oldie-but-goodie fake headache.
"Tom, seriously, man. I don't know what the fuck to do."
Tom was quiet for a moment. "Jon... I'm probably the wrong person to talk to about this. You know I'm just going to tell you not to go anywhere near him. It'll fuck everything up, and you got a good thing going with that band. Don't lose it."
"Shit. Yeah, I know. You're right." Deep breath. "You're right. And anyway, it's just a crush or whatever. It'll go away. It'll be fine. Completely, totally fine."
"Right." Tom clearly wasn't buying that shit. But, hell, neither was Jon.
Jon took another deep breath. "Okay. So, hey, one more thing I need advice on."
"What's that?" Tom sounded relieved about the change in subject.
"How do I get rid of the perpetual boner I've got every time we're in the same damn room?" Jon practically shouted into the phone.
Tom hung up. Which was fair.
===
"I was thinking I might go stay with Brendon for a couple days," Jon said nonchalantly over coffee the next morning.
Spencer looked surprised and then a little hurt. "Oh. Um. Okay."
"I mean, I've been here for a few days now. I don't want to, you know, overstay my welcome or anything."
Spencer glared. "Not really possible, Walker. Just... Whatever. I mean, go if you want, but you could stay."
Jon took a sip of coffee. "I didn't mean to offend you or anything," Jon said a little awkwardly.
"No, you didn't. I'm just...tired or something, I guess. I don't know." Spencer stood up and put his mug in the sink. He stretched his arms up over his head and his t-shirt rode up just enough to tease Jon. "I'm gonna go take a shower."
Jon waited until he left the kitchen to drop his head to the table and groan. Why did Spencer have to just announce shit like that? Especially after showing just a tiny bit of skin. Jon really did not need that mental image, thank you very much.
Jon banged his head on the table a couple more times for good measure and then got up and poured himself another cup of coffee before heading back upstairs. He figured he might as well go back up to the guest room and jerk off. For the second time that morning (he'd always had very vivid dreams).
Stupid Spencer.
===
Ryan's latest hobby was cooking, and he decided to make dinner for his band. Jon and Spencer headed over to Ryan's, beer and take-out menus (just in case!) in hand. Brendon was bringing dessert, which he promised would also be homemade. (Jon, Ryan, and Spencer had a bet on the number of marshmallows involved.)
After a surprisingly delicious dinner, when Jon and Brendon were stuck doing the dishes, Brendon leaned over to Jon and said, "You guys haven't done it yet, have you?"
"Who hasn't done what?" Jon asked as he handed over another plate.
Brendon gave Jon a knowing look. "You and Spencer? The red hot monkey horizontal tango?" he asked in a very "duh" tone.
The pot Jon had been scrubbing at slipped from his grip and he splashed water all over the counter. "The what?" he sputtered.
"I'll take that as a no. But dude. Come on. You've been, like, slipping surreptitious glances at Spencer since you got to Vegas. And he's been giving you surreptitious glances for years or something."
Okay, what? What the fuck was that shit?
"The only reason you know what 'surreptitious' means is because you have to sing it all the time," he muttered in an admittedly weak effort to distract Brendon.
"The point is, Jon my boy, that I do know what it means. What I don't know is when you're going to put poor Spencer out of his misery and just hit that already."
Jon coughed. "Could you just...not?" His face had to be bright red, he could feel it.
Brendon shrugged. He was quiet for a moment, but when Jon wrung out the sponge and shut off the water, he turned to look him in the eye. "You did know that, right? About Spencer's big gay crush on you?" His tone was much quieter and more serious, even if his words weren't. Jon opened his mouth to try to answer, but he couldn't seem to say anything. He just looked down. "You didn't? Seriously? Damn, I really thought..." He paused. "So, uh, I probably shouldn't have said that. I made the whole thing up! All of it! Even the surreptitious glances thing. I swear."
Jon looked back up and met Brendon's eyes. "Brendon..." was as far as Jon got before they heard Ryan's voice in the hallway. Spencer's reply sounded much closer to the kitchen than Jon felt comfortable with. He looked at Brendon and gave a weak attempt at a smile in answer to Brendon's grimace of apology.
Spencer walked in, Ryan a few steps behind him. Ryan went to the refrigerator, pulled out another beer and handed it over to Spencer. He took another and gestured toward Jon and Brendon. Jon took one, popped off the cap, and took a good, long drink.
Spencer was looking from Jon to Brendon and back again. "What's going on?" he asked quietly.
"Nothing," Jon said quickly. "I was just trying to find out who won the marshmallow bet, so we should have dessert now."
Brendon raised his eyebrows. "Marshmallow bet?" Jon grinned.
"Yeah, Bren. We always make bets on the amount of marshmallows when you bring dessert," Ryan informed him.
Brendon narrowed his eyes. "Is this some sort of Mormon stereotype thing? 'Cause if it is, then I'm feeling very oppressed and harassed."
Ryan rolled his eyes. He grabbed the covered dish that contained dessert and said, "I'm pretty sure you'll get over it," as he headed for the living room. "Grab some plates or whatever we need."
Brendon did and followed him. Jon glanced over at Spencer, and when Spence met his eyes, Jon quickly looked at the floor. "We should..." he said and gestured towards the doorway.
Spencer hesitated, but all he said was, "Yeah," and he walked out of the room. Jon took a deep breath and followed. Yeah, Spencer had heard at least part of that conversation with Brendon.
===
Brendon hadn't been drinking, so even though Ryan's house was within walking distance of Spencer's, he dropped Jon and Spencer off later that night. Spencer was almost out of the car, when Brendon said, "Jon. I'm really sorry about before. I didn't mean to be all up in your business and I--"
Jon cut him off. "It's fine, Bren. Promise." He smiled to prove he meant it. "Don't worry about it." Brendon smiled back and nodded.
Jon stood on the porch and watched Brendon's car disappear down the street, and then he went inside. Spencer had turned on the hall light, but when Jon went into the living room, it was dark. Spencer was sitting on one end of the couch, head back and eyes closed.
Jon sat down on the other side. He glanced around for the remote, but it was on the end table next to Spencer. He just sat and waited for Spencer to say whatever it was that he was clearly trying to convince himself to say. He could tell that there was something.
They'd been sitting there for a few minutes when Spencer said, without even opening his eyes, "What was Brendon apologizing for?"
Jon just said, "Nothing."
But Spencer was clearly having none of that. He turned his head and opened one eye to glare dubiously at Jon. "It was just something he said when we were washing dishes, that's all. No big deal. I wasn't even upset about it."
"Ah," was all Spencer said. They were quiet for a few more minutes. Just when Jon was considering getting up and going to bed, Spencer spoke again. "What did he say?"
"Hmm?" Jon hadn't been expecting Spencer to talk again.
"Brendon. What did he say that he felt like he had to apologize for?"
"It was nothing, Spence. He just... It was nothing. Really."
Spencer still had his eyes closed, still wasn't looking at Jon. Which meant that a.) Spencer was uncomfortable, and b.) that Jon could look all he wanted. And he did.
Jon looked at Spencer's hair and imagined his hands pulling it as Spencer sucked him off. He looked at Spencer's mouth and wanted to kiss it. He could see himself leaving a trail of wet kisses down Spencer's throat, leaving a mark just below Spencer's collarbone, where it could be hidden or seen easily. Jon's imagination kept going down, over Spencer's body, and right into the gutter. Jon thought of licking Spencer's nipples and leaving another trail of kisses down his stomach. And then Spencer would flip them over, settle Jon so that he was half-sitting with pillows under his head, and kneel over him. Spencer would slowly guide his cock into Jon's mouth, but he wouldn't be gentle about it. He'd go slow, but he'd just keep going until Jon had no choice but to deep throat him.
Jon nearly moaned out loud just thinking about it. He had to shift around just a little to accommodate his erection. His mouth was watering, he wanted to taste Spencer so bad.
"Was it about me and you?"
Spencer's voice shocked Jon right out of his daydream. "Huh? What?"
Spencer was looking at Jon now. "Whatever Brendon said to you. Was it about me and you?"
Jon was still trying to get the images out of his head. He was distracted. His defenses were down. Before he knew it, he said, "Yeah, it was."
Spencer nodded. "Okay... So... What do you want to do about it?" he asked slowly.
Jon was really glad that his brain-to-mouth filter was starting to kick in and he did not say, "You should fuck me right now, right here, on this couch."
Instead, he just lamely said, "What do you mean?"
Spencer shrugged. "We can pretend Brendon never said anything and that this entire house isn't full of sexual tension. Or we can fuck and get it out of our systems," he said matter-of-factly.
Jon really, really liked the sound of Option 2. A lot.
But it was Spencer. Jon had been telling himself no since the airport. Like Tom had said, Jon had a good thing going with his band. Even more than he wanted Spencer, he wanted to keep his band. And he couldn't help hearing Brendon's voice in his head: "Spencer's big gay crush on you." The way Brendon had said it, in that serious voice, told Jon that it was more than just sex that Spencer wanted. And Jon... Well, Jon kind of just wanted sex. He didn't really want a relationship at the moment, and he knew that one with Spencer could never be casual.
He said quietly, "I don't think it's a good idea, Spence."
"Why not? I mean, we've been dancing around this since you got here, Jon. You can't deny that. I'm not blind; I've seen you looking. We're adults. We want each other. I don't see why it has to be that big of a deal."
"Because, Spence." Jon stood up and started pacing. "Because of the band. I am not fucking that up. Things would get all awkward."
"Things won't get awkward if we don't let them get awkward," Spencer said pointedly. "We want each other, we fuck, we get over it. It wouldn't be more than that."
Jon was starting to have trouble coming up with coherent counter-arguments. He just knew he had to say no. He could remember exactly why he had to later. He took a deep breath and said, "No. It's not a good idea. I'm going to go to go upstairs to your guest room now and go to bed. And, no offense, but I'm going to lock the door." He paused on the third step, turned back, and added, "Maybe you should lock yours, too."
Spencer gave Jon a positively wicked smile. "Yeah, no. I think I might just leave it open all night. Who knows, you might have nightmares and need to be comforted in the middle of the night."
Jon rolled his eyes. "Doubtful, Smith. Very doubtful."
===
Two months ago, Jon would have said that Spencer was made of pure awesomeness. Two days ago, Jon would have said he was made of pure hotness. But two minutes ago, Jon discovered that Spencer Smith was actually made of pure evil.
Jon had gotten up first and was just sitting down at the table with a cup of coffee when Spencer came into the kitchen, yawning. Jon stared as Spencer grabbed a mug and headed right for the coffee maker.
"Morning," he greeted Jon. He poured his coffee, went to the fridge for milk, and didn't seem to notice that Jon was sitting at the kitchen table and practically drooling.
Spencer just stood at the counter in nothing but indecently tight black boxer briefs and sipped his coffee like he wasn't the hottest, sexiest, most evil man that Jon had ever seen. "So what are you up to today?" Spencer asked casually.
"Um. What?" Jon was never at his most eloquent before his second cup of coffee, but he just could not think with Spencer standing there.
Spencer gave him an amused smile. "I said, what are you up to today?"
"Oh. Um." Jon tried to think. "I don't... Um. I don't know? Actually, I have to go upstairs now." Jon didn't even pause for more coffee. He got up and practically ran up the stairs, as best he could with a hard-on, anyway.
He slipped into the bathroom, slammed the door behind him. He leaned back on it, and lasted about two seconds before he shoved his pants down and put his hand on his cock. He jerked himself quickly, and when he came, he banged his head back against the door and couldn't quite keep in a (probably rather embarrassing) noise.
As he stood trying to catch his breath, he could have sworn he heard footsteps walking away from the bathroom, but was sure it was just his imagination.
===
The next night, they decided to watch all three original Star Wars movies. Jon called both Brendon and Ryan, hoping for chaperones, but Brendon had a birthday party for his brother and Keltie had just gotten in the day before, so it was just Jon and Spencer. But it would be fine. By the time Jon had gotten up enough courage to go back downstairs the day before, Spencer was dressed and acted perfectly normal the rest of the day. And then that morning, he had showered and dressed before he even went downstairs for coffee. Just in case, though, Jon sat on the couch, curled into the corner, as far away from where Spencer sat on the armchair as he could get without being in another room.
The first movie went just fine. Spencer stayed where he was, Jon stayed where he was. But then, just as Jon was getting comfortable, it was Fuck the Empire, Evil Spencer Strikes Back. Spencer got up to put the next DVD in, and then went to the kitchen. He brought back two beers, handed one to Jon, and sat down on the other side of the couch, not nearly as far or as close as Jon would have liked.
They were only partway through the movie when Spencer shifted around and lay on the couch with his head in Jon's lap. "This okay?" he asked as he glanced up at Jon.
Jon glared. "I hate you."
Evil Spencer gave him an innocent, angelic smile. "Shh, just watch the movie. It'll be fine." And then he settled in on Jon's lap to do just that. Which meant Jon was going to spend the rest of the night trying to tamp down his erection because Spencer's head was right there. And his hand was resting on Jon's knee, his thumb rubbing lightly back and forth.
Jon tried to watch the movie. He really did. But if he had never seen it before, he would have had no idea what it was about. There was a short--too short, in Jon's opinion--reprieve when the second movie ended and Spencer got up to switch the DVDs. But once the next movie started, Spencer was right back, head in Jon's lap, hand on his knee.
About twenty minutes in, Jon was having a tough time keeping still. Even the prospect of the Ewoks couldn't distract him and those little dudes were pretty awesome. He really just wanted Spencer to turn around and put his mouth on his dick. That would be amazing. If Spencer would just turn over, slowly unbutton Jon's jeans and pull out his cock and take it into his mouth... Jon cleared his throat and shifted just a little under Spencer.
"You okay?" Spencer turned his head to look at Jon.
Jon looked at him in disbelief for a moment. "No, Spence!"
"Oh." Spencer pushed himself up a bit on his elbows. "What's wrong?" That did, thankfully, get his head off of Jon's lap. But it also put his mouth within kissing range.
"Spencer..." Jon ground out. He put his head back and closed his eyes. "What are you doing to me?"
Jon opened his eyes and watched Spencer sit up and kneel on the couch, his knees digging into Jon's thigh a little. He grabbed the remote and turned off the movie before he said, "Jon, I'm not doing anything to you. That's kind of the point."
"Spence, it's such a bad idea. Seriously. It could fuck up everything. You saw what happened with Tom and Bill."
Spencer rolled his eyes. "That's because they were stupid about it. Bill got all jealous and started sleeping around, which made Tom jealous, and they're both emotionally retarded people who couldn't just talk to each other. We've never had that problem, right? Besides, it'd just be...a thing. Not even a thing. Just, you know, whatever. We fuck a few times, and then you go back to Chicago next week."
"Would that really be it, though?" Jon asked quietly.
"Yes! Jon. I want you. You want me. We're both consenting adults who would have safe sex. It'd just be a good time, just for fun. Friends with benefits. There's no reason that it would have to be more than that."
Jon took a deep breath. He was so close. So close to taking Spencer at his word, ignoring everything that Brendon told him, ignoring everything that Jon didn't ever think about. "I just... I can't lose you guys, Spence. Panic's the best thing that's ever happened to me. I can't lose it."
"You won't, I promise. It'll be fine. We won't let it be anything else but fine, okay?" Spencer whispered as he leaned in close. His lips brushed over Jon's lightly, it was barely a kiss, but if Jon had any fight left in him, it disappeared at that first touch.
Spencer shifted until he was kneeling over Jon, one knee on each side. His hands were on Jon's cheeks, holding his head in place exactly where he wanted it. Jon's hands slid up under Spencer's shirt. Spencer broke the kiss to pull his own and then Jon's shirt off. Jon's hands got caught up, and Spencer just grabbed his wrists and held them above Jon's head. Jon couldn't help the moan and the way his hips jerked up at the way Spencer was holding him down. Spencer pulled back just a little. "Like that, huh?" he asked with a smile.
Jon just nodded and leaned forward to catch Spencer's lips again. Spencer's hands slid down Jon's arms and Jon shivered. He managed to pull the shirt off his hands and drop it somewhere. Spencer kept right on going, running his hands over Jon's chest and then unbuttoning and unzipping his jeans. Spencer climbed down until he was on the floor, between Jon's legs. He pulled Jon's jeans and Jon lifted his hips for Spence to pull them off.
Apparently Evil Spencer was not just into seducing Jon, he was also all about teasing. He licked and nipped and kissed Jon's thighs, his stomach, his hips, avoiding his cock altogether. "Spence, please," Jon gasped. Spencer smiled up at him and then ducked his head and licked a stripe up the underside of Jon's dick and over the slit. He paused and smiled at Jon again, just to let Jon know he was doing it all on purpose.
Jon let out a whine and pushed his hips up, telling Spencer what he wanted without words. Spencer narrowed his eyes and put his hands on Jon's hips and shoved Jon down. He held on so tight, kept Jon so still, that Jon knew he'd have bruises later. The thought of that just turned Jon on even more.
And then, thank fucking god, and then Spencer took Jon in his mouth. Jon knew he wasn't going to last long at all. Spencer squeezed Jon's ass and hips tighter and pulled him up, and then pushed him back down, and then he did it again. And that was so hot, Spencer controlling every second of Jon fucking his mouth. (Jon fucking loved sex with strong guys.)
Jon felt it building up inside him, knew he was only seconds from coming. He tugged at Spencer's hair a little, but Spencer just pushed Jon's cock further down his own throat, and that was enough. Jon came, harder and, fuck, louder than he had in a long time. He was pretty sure his throat would be a little raw later, especially if Spencer let him go down on him too.
Spencer swallowed and eased off of Jon's dick. Jon collapsed back on the couch, but he grabbed Spencer's arm and pulled enough for Spence to get the hint and climb back over Jon and kiss him. Jon ran his hands up and down Spencer's sides before reaching down and unbuttoning Spencer's jeans. He pulled back from Spencer's mouth to ask, "D'you want me to...?"
Spencer shook his head. "Won't last. Just. Hand. Please," he breathed. He was right. Jon jacked him three or four times and then he was coming, all over Jon's chest.
He dropped his head to Jon's shoulder, breathing heavy and loud. He ran his fingers over Jon's chest and then brought his hand up to Jon's mouth. Jon looked over and kept eye contact while he opened his mouth and sucked Spencer's fingers in and licked them clean. "Jesus," Spencer whispered as he pulled out his fingers and leaned over to replace them with his tongue.
After a few minutes, or maybe hours, Spencer leaned back and said, "Bed?"
Jon looked down at the mess on himself and said, "Shower."
Spencer smirked. "Yeah, okay. Shower, then bed."
Jon nodded. "Sounds like a plan."
"Going to sleep alone with the door locked tonight?" Spencer asked as they walked up the stairs.
"Fuck you," was Jon's brilliant, cutting comeback.
"Mmm, something tells me you'd rather I fuck you."
Jon's mouth went a little dry at the suggestion. All he managed to say was, "Um."
===
There were a couple of things Jon knew about Spencer. Stuff he'd noticed right away and stuff he'd picked up after all that time spent on buses with no personal space. While Jon had known these things before, he never would have considered the impact on his sex life.
One: Spencer was pretty good at reading people and figuring out what they wanted, sometimes even when they didn't know.
Jon figured it came from years of interpreting Ryan. But, for Jon, it meant that Spencer had already figured out that he didn't really want to be in charge during sex.
For instance, their second time was a few hours after the first. They had showered and collapsed in Spencer's bed, sated and sleepy. Until Spencer had woken Jon up before dawn with his mouth around Jon's cock. Jon was just waking up and realizing that it was, in fact, not the best wet dream he'd ever had, but real life, when Spencer was pushing Jon's legs a little further apart and slipping a finger behind his balls. He'd barely gotten in a fingertip when Jon came. Spencer swallowed and crawled up over Jon and kissed him. Jon had enough presence of mind to reach down and wrap his fist around Spencer's cock.
He only stroked a couple of times before Spencer was pushing up off of him and crawling up further. He kneeled up, over Jon's face and Jon eagerly took Spencer in his mouth. Spencer didn't seem to be in much of a hurry and his thrusts were shallow. Jon gripped the backs of Spence's thighs as he slowly sucked at Spencer's pace. He couldn't help arching up a bit, trying to get more of Spencer, and trying not to whine when he didn't get it right away. Spencer backed off a little, gave Jon only the head of his cock, as he looked down at him with a wicked smile on his face. Jon did the best he could to glare back. It was kind of tough to pout with his mouth so full, though.
But then Spence pushed forward and kept pushing, slowly but deliberately, stopping only when he hit the back of Jon's throat. Jon's eyes slid shut and he moaned around Spencer. Spencer inhaled quick and deep and began to really fuck Jon's mouth, harder and faster. Jon could tell when Spence was getting close and he kept his hands on Spencer's ass, pulling him close and not letting him pull out. Spencer came down his throat and Jon had to admit he liked it.
Spencer shifted back and dropped to Jon's chest. He buried his face in the pillow, just above Jon's shoulder. "Fuck, Jon," he murmured.
Jon couldn't help wrapping his arms around Spencer and giving him a little squeeze. "Yeah," he said, his voice raw and used. He could feel a smile touch his lips. "Yeah."
Two: Spencer didn't like interruptions.
Two days later, Jon still couldn't get enough of Spencer. Spencer showed no signs of slowing down either. They were on Spencer's bed in the middle of the afternoon. Jon was on his back with a pillow under his hips, legs spread wide. Spencer was kneeling in front of him, working a slicked-up finger inside him. Jon was about to ask for another, when his phone started ringing on the nightstand.
"Ignore it," Spencer said.
Jon nodded. But instead of a beep for a message, it rang again. Spencer's hand stilled, but stayed where it was. Jon stretched and grabbed it, worried for a quick second that it could be an emergency. "It's Tom. He'll keep calling," Jon said as the phone started ringing for the third time.
"Then I guess you better answer it and talk to him," Spencer told him as he pushed his finger deeper into Jon.
Jon tried his best to not sound breathless as he said, "Hey."
"Hey. Thought I'd see how things were going with you and your boy out there."
"Things are fine," Jon said through gritted teeth. He accidentally let out a small, "Ah!" as Spencer added a second finger.
"What are you-- Are you jerking off, Walker? That's sick man, why'd you answer the damn phone?"
"'M not jerking off, and you would have kept calling." Spencer was adding a third finger, stretching Jon further. Jon bit his lip to keep from making any other awkward noises.
"Then what the fuck are you doing?" Tom paused and Jon couldn't say anything. Spencer had just wrapped his hand around Jon's dick. "Are you fucking him, Jon?" Jon couldn't help the way his hips twitched when Tom figured it out. There was maybe a small possibility that Jon liked the idea of being watched. "Jesus Christ! What the fuck did I tell you? And why the fuck am I still on the phone with you?" Tom shouted.
"Don't know," Jon said in a rush.
Tom hung up. Which was fair.
Jon hung up the phone and dropped it on the floor. "Fuck, Spence! That was--oh god!--that was just mean!"
Spencer shrugged as he continued to use both hands to drive Jon absolutely insane. "I was in the middle of something. I don't like to stop what I'm doing. And don't think I didn't notice how excited you were when Tom guessed that we were fucking. I could hear him. Are you a little bit of an exhibitionist, Jon? Hmmm?" Spencer leaned forward to steal a quick kiss.
"No?" Jon answered breathlessly.
"So the thought of getting caught doesn't turn you on?" Spencer asked as he pulled his fingers away from Jon's ass and cock. He reached for the condom sitting on the blanket next to him.
"Uh-uh, oh fuck!" Jon answered Spencer's question as Spencer thrust deep into Jon with barely a warning.
"I think you're lying to me, Jon," Spencer said, his voice getting breathier. "I think you like to imagine people watching you. I think you want someone to walk through that door right now."
Jon was limited to incoherent noises by then. Spencer's hand was back around Jon's dick, jerking him hard and quick to match the rhythm he set. "You do, don't you? Should I call Ryan and Brendon later? Tell them to come over? And just coincidentally happen to be fucking you on the couch when they let themselves in?"
Jon met Spencer's thrusts, shoved his hips up and back hard. His hands were gripping Spencer's ass, trying to hold him closer, to bring him in deeper. Spencer's cock hit his prostate one more time and Jon came, head back and mouth open but silent.
Spencer fucked him harder, saying, "Fuck, Jon. You're so fucking hot like this. Fucking... Want to-- AH!" And then he stiffened, one, two deep thrusts and he wasn't silent when he came. He let out a noise that Jon was pretty sure was supposed to be his name.
Spencer collapsed over him, biting Jon's shoulder lightly. After a minute, he moved, pulled out and rolled off of Jon. He took a deep breath and then got up to get rid of the condom. He disappeared into the bathroom and came back with a warm washcloth. He wiped off the mess on Jon's stomach, then his own. He tossed it on the floor and then laid back down on his stomach, head pillowed on his hands and looked at Jon.
Spencer was wearing a satisfied, almost smug smile.
"What?" Jon asked suspiciously. He had the distinct impression Spencer was laughing at him.
"Nothing." Jon raised his eyebrow at that. Spencer shrugged. "I like knowing things about you, Jon Walker."
Jon considered that. "See? I knew us fucking was a bad idea," he said, but he couldn't even keep the smile away to finish the sentence.
"Shut up," Spencer answered. "You're having fun."
"Yeah, I am."
"And you're a ridiculous exhibitionist!"
Jon shoved at Spencer's shoulder. "Shut up! I am not!"
"You so are! I'm definitely telling."
Jon groaned. "Please, whatever happens, do not let Brendon find out."
Spencer laughed. "Why not?"
"Because you know how he is. When he finds out he has something in common with someone, he gets all excited and wants to talk about it all the time,"Jon said.
Spencer laughed more. "Oh my god, that's so true!"
"I know!" Jon's stomach rumbled, changing the subject for him. "Spencer Smith, you need to feed me."
"I need to feed you? Maybe you need to feed me."
"Oh, please. I gave you my ass, Smith. That deserves at least dinner."
"Ugh. Fine. We haven't seen Ryan and Brendon in a day and a half. They might think we're dead. Should we tell them to meet us at Port o' Subs?"
"Sure," Jon agreed as he got up. He stretched his arms over his head and said, "I'm going to go take a shower." Spencer stood up and Jon gave him a quick kiss before heading into the bathroom.
Three: Spencer liked to give everything he had to a performance.
Jon was lying on the floor of the living room, taking pictures and playing with the dogs. Spencer came in from the kitchen and laughed at him. "What?" Jon demanded. "I can't help it if your dogs want to be rock stars, too."
Spencer sat down with them and took over the playing part to leave Jon to the picture-taking part. For the most part, Spencer ignored Jon and his camera, but every so often, Jon caught him looking directly at him. He looked like he was considering something, was getting more and more distracted with each picture Jon took.
"You know what we should do?" Spencer finally said.
"What?" Jon asked between shots.
"You should take pictures of me."
Jon was confused. "I'm taking pictures of you right now." Jon lowered his camera. "Wait. Are you afraid the puppies are prettier than you? Are you jealous of your dogs, Spence? Because I'm telling you right now, you should be. They're awesome. You know, for dogs."
"Shut up. No, I mean, you should take pictures of me. Like, you know. Naked pictures."
Maybe Jon should have seen that coming. But he definitely didn't. "Oh. Um." It would be really nice if Jon could say anything else ever in front of Spencer. "I...I could do that."
"Yeah?" Spencer finally met Jon's eyes. He was smiling a little. "Cool. When do you want to do it?"
Jon thought for a second and looked out the window. "Well, if we start now, we'll get some good light. We can take more tomorrow, too."
Spencer nodded. "Okay. So should I..."
"Let's start in your room. Why don't you go up? I want to get my other camera," Jon told him, getting into 'professional' mode. Jon followed Spencer upstairs, but veered off to the guest room, where a lot of his stuff still was. He figured it would be a good idea to use his 35mm camera rather than a digital. He could develop them himself, and there was probably less chance of a Wentz that way.
Jon walked into the bedroom still loading a roll of film. Spencer was sitting on the edge of the bed, naked, and looking a little bit nervous. Jon got the camera ready and then stood in front of Spencer. He bent over to kiss his forehead. "Relax. Or it'll show in the pictures."
Spencer rolled his eyes, but he looked up at Jon with a smile. Jon couldn't help but lean down to kiss him properly. Spencer kissed him back, but before it got too intense, he pushed Jon away, laughing. "No! You're gonna get me all hard and I don't want them to be porno pictures!"
Jon said, "Aw, man! I wanted the hot, slutty pictures!"
"Well... Maybe a few," Spence said with a dirty smile.
Jon wiggled his eyebrows. "Okay, so first, I think you should come stand over here, in the doorway." Jon pointed and then started positioning Spencer how he wanted him. "Right and then look over here." Spencer followed his finger and looked down.
Jon stepped back a few paces and started snapping pictures. Even if Jon hadn't been there for most of them, he would know that Spencer had done more than a few photo shoots in his life. Once Jon had gotten him to smile and gotten him over those initial nerves, Spencer was completely professional. Jon pointed and positioned and posed him all over the room and Spencer was mostly quiet and good at following instructions.
Once Jon had gotten through his ideas, Spencer had a few of his own. Apparently he'd been lying when he said he didn't want porno pictures. Jon had been going for a more artsy, nude photo-type thing. For example, Jon made the bed before he asked Spencer to pose on it, sitting nicely on the comforter. Spencer, on the other hand, put the bed back into its disheveled state before laying down on his right side, head propped on his right arm, legs arranged to hide his dick. The look he gave the camera was smoldering. That was the only word Jon had for it.
After that, he rolled onto his back, his arms up, hands holding onto the bottom of the headboard, back slightly arched, one leg up and bent at the knee. His head was back, just a little, and he had a peaceful expression on his face. His eyes were closed and he had just a hint of a smile on his lips.
Jon snapped a few more pictures before he couldn't help but whisper, "Jesus, Spence."
Spencer opened his eyes and leaned back on his elbows to look at Jon. "Hmm?"
Jon cleared his throat. "Nothing." Jon put the camera back up between him and Spencer, trying hard to put back that barrier between artist and subject. Though if he was being honest with himself, he would admit that he wasn't sure who was which anymore.
Spencer gave him a sexy, knowing smile and said, "You sure?"
Jon continued working. He moved around the room, trying out different angles. Spencer's eyes followed him ruthlessly. Spencer was clearly playing it up for the camera at that point, even allowing himself to slowly get hard.
For the last picture Jon managed to take, he was kneeling at the foot of the bed, blankets spilling off of it. Spencer was crawling over towards him with a look that Jon would never, ever forget, whether or not the pictures even turned out okay.
Spencer reached over and took the camera. He leaned back to place it on the nightstand and then he reached forward and put his hands on Jon's shoulders.
He pushed Jon down as he kissed him. And, man, Spencer had some moves. If Jon had tried that whole sexy, climbing-off-the-bed-while-kissing thing, he'd have fallen over and knocked them both unconscious. Spencer, though. Spencer was kissing Jon from the bed one second, and on top, spreading Jon's legs wide.
Spencer whispered as he nipped at Jon's ear, "You should take your clothes off. I wanna fuck you." Jon nodded as his hips thrust up at the thought. Spencer put his mouth back to Jon's and kissed him, hot and wet, but short. Before Jon could really get into it, Spence was gone to get lube and a condom.
Jon stood up and was out of his clothes before Spencer had even opened the nightstand drawer. He got up onto the bed. He waited, kneeling, as Spencer opened a new box of condoms. Spence turned around, supplies in hand, and gave him a questioning look. All Jon said was, "Rugburn."
Spencer laughed a little and knelt in front of him. He put his arms around Jon's neck and kissed him again, still quick and hot as hell. This time it was Jon who pulled away first. He knew what he wanted, so he turned around and settled on his hands and knees in front of Spencer. He heard Spencer's "Fuuuuuck" as he grabbed Jon's hips, fingers already clutching tight enough to leave bruises.
Then Spencer did that thing, where he knows what people want before they know themselves. Jon was waiting, wanted Spencer's fingers, needed something inside him. But before he could even ask, he felt Spencer's beard, Spencer's lips, Spencer's tongue.
Jon let out a surprised, "OH!" and dropped down so that his head was resting on his arms on the mattress. He tried not to push himself back into Spence's face, he didn't want Spencer to stop, but Christ, it was hard to keep still. Especially when Spencer reached around and wrapped his hand around Jon's cock. And, oh god, if he kept that up, it would all be over way too soon.
"Spence... Fuck, Spencer. Fuck me. Please," Jon said breathlessly. Spencer squeezed the base of Jon's cock as he pushed his tongue into Jon even further. "Jesus motherfu--Ah!" Jon couldn't get out any other words, just noises.
Spencer lifted his head and Jon heard him opening the lube. He'd barely put two fingers into Jon, barely stretched him at all, before Jon was telling him to, "Fucking fuck me, Spence! 'M ready! Christ!" He knew he could stand to be a little more prepared, but he was hoping that the burn and that hurt-so-good pain of Spencer's dick would bring him back from the edge and give him a little more stamina. As it was, he almost came just from the sound of the condom wrapper as Spence opened it.
It did burn a bit when Spencer entered him, pushing steadily until he was all the way in, until Jon felt Spencer's thighs lined up with his own. Spencer stopped, and for a minute the only sound in the room was their harsh and heavy breathing.
Jon felt Spencer slide out, almost unbearably slow, driving him crazy. He pushed in slow and steady again, but when he paused, he let out a quiet, "Jon. Fuck."
"Spence, please," was all Jon could reply. He felt Spencer lean forward and press his mouth to Jon's neck. That was sweet and all, but Jon really, really needed to be fucked. He pushed his hips back, not all that gently, trying to fuck himself on Spencer's cock.
He felt a breath of laughter on his neck and shivered when Spencer sat back up and the cool air hit his back. But the important part was that Spencer listened to him. After a couple of quick, hard thrusts, Spencer's cock hit Jon's prostate. A few more and Jon was coming, without a hand anywhere near his dick.
He managed, thanks mostly to Spencer's grip on his hips, to stay up on his hands and knees. He loved that feeling, when he'd already come, and Spencer was getting closer, holding Jon up and basically just using him to get himself off. It was incredibly hot, and made Jon a bit disappointed that there was no way he'd be able to go again anytime soon.
Spencer came and they both collapsed onto the bed. Spencer stayed, still inside and on top of Jon, for a minute or two while they both tried to catch their breath. Just when Jon was about to maybe complain that Spencer was too fucking heavy, he felt Spencer pull out. He must have dealt with the condom quickly because he was back in a second, draping himself over Jon's body. Jon hummed and said, "Hi."
His face was turned toward Spencer's; they were inches apart. "Hi," Spencer said back in the same fucked-out tone. Spencer was quiet for a few more minutes, but when Jon thought he might have been asleep, he said, "I wish all photo shoots ended like that."
Jon laughed and closed his eyes.
===
The four of them hung out the night before Jon was due back in Chicago. Pizza and some random movie Ryan Netflixed. "At least there aren't any subtitles," Brendon pointed out when Spencer started complaining.
Brendon dropped to the floor and Ryan stretched out on the loveseat, which left the couch for Jon and Spencer. Jon sat at one end and instead of taking the other, Spencer flopped down and put his head on Jon's lap. "This okay?" he asked with a knowing smile.
Jon glared. "I hate you." He flicked Spencer's head to make his point.
Spencer simply said, "Yeah, you keep saying that. And yet, you've been fucking me every chance you get." Jon's eyes went wide and Spencer bit his lip when he realized that there were two other people in the room when he'd said that. Spencer cleared his throat and said, "Um..."
Ryan just said drolly, "Please. Even Brendon saw that coming."
"Hey!" Brendon cried out. "I resent that! And anyway, it's kind of hypocritical coming from the most unobservant guy ever!"
"I'm the second-most unobservant guy. First prize goes to you."
"Yeah, whatever," Brendon said, crossing his arms. "Can we just watch the damn movie now, please?" Ryan shot him a smug "I win" smile and hit play on the remote.
Jon looked over and met Brendon's eyes when the movie started. He gave him a grateful smile. Brendon winked and turned back to the tv.
Jon decided not to think about anything, to just enjoy the company of his best friends. He was flying back to Chicago the next morning and he'd be there for at least four or five weeks. He was excited about that. He definitely missed his family, his cats, and his city.
But that was hours away and at the moment, he had Brendon and Ryan and Spencer, a surprisingly-good-for-being-anywhere-outside-Chicago pizza, and a weird-but-okay movie. He wasn't going to worry about stupid shit like the way he'd panicked just a little bit at Spencer's slip and Ryan's reaction. That would be stupid, and Jon Walker was not stupid.
No matter what his bandmates or Tom Conrad may have said in the past.
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part II