Days of Abandon (1/3)
Title: Days of Abandon
Pairing: Xiuhan, side!Kaisoo
Genre: actor!au
Rating: R
Length: 26,330 words
Summary: On the set of their new film, golden boys Luhan and Minseok learn a basic human truth: that the heart is deceitful above all things.
Warning: Brief mention of homophobia
Notes: Title is a play on Wong Kar Wai’s Days of Being Wild. Listened to this while I wrote it. For mapofwords, because she wanted it, and because she deserved it :) xx bb.
"Under the circumstances," Jongin says with a cheeky grin, "you could do worse."
The Gangnam bar they're sitting in is quiet, with just a few other patrons nestled in its polished corners for happy hour. Still, it takes a beat for the words to filter into Luhan's ears and pull him away from his phone.
"What?" he asks.
Soojung's just sent him a message on Line. She's asking if they're still on for dinner tonight after she wraps up her filming schedule. Luhan guesses she's in her hanbok now, something brightand pretty, with the faceful of makeup she can't wait to scrub off once she leaves the set of her sageuk.
Jongin wiggles his eyebrows, and for some reason he's holding out his Galaxy Note, like he wants to show Luhan something on it. Luhan only manages a distracted hum before returning his attention to his own device.
Of course, he types out to Soojung. I'll come scoop you up. Just tell me when.
Thanks, oppa, she replies swiftly. See you in a bit <3
Can't wait, Luhan sends back, just as Jongin starts to brandish the phone in his face.
"Hyung~" Jongin whines. "Look."
Luhan sighs, but takes the phone anyway. "You know," he says wryly, "for a rockstar, you sure act like a little girl sometimes."
Jongin cuts his eyes at him. "It's called aegyo." His ensuing smirk is the one that makes all the grown-up girls scream. "I'm famous for it."
"You're famous for yelling out racy lyrics while half-naked," Luhan tells him mildly, and Jongin laughs, throwing up his hands in surrender. Luhan grins at him. He doesn't bother masking the indulgence in it. For all his mischief, Jongin is still his favorite junior.
He looks down at the phone in his hand and runs his thumb across the screen. It lights up with a Newsen article.
Kim Minseok, Luhan take on first gay roles, the headline reads. Korea's national heartthrob set to romance China's prince in new drama film, Days of Abandon.
Luhan's still blonde in the article's photo of him, a dye job he'd gotten for his previous movie role. Carelessly, he runs his fingers through the short hairs at his nape. It's all back to black now--black as Kim Minseok's sleek, strategically-rumpled crop, which makes him look older in his photo. Luhan's hairstylist had given him a similar cut two weeks ago.
"You've already got the matching thing down," Jongin teases, tugging at a piece of Luhan's fringe before the latter can evade him. "Couple hair."
Luhan swats his hand away. "You're so fresh sometimes." He reaches across their table and rakes Jongin's bangs over his eyes in retaliation.
The younger doesn't even resist. His smile is a slice of white against his golden skin, teeth still unblemished even with all the smoking. He and Luhan go to the same dentist in Apgujeong.
"Aw, come on, hyung." Jongin blows his bangs out of his eyes, and really, he looks nothing like the smoldering sex god Kai. He's all puppy. Irresistible, and a little infuriating. "I'm just remarking on how good you look with your new boyfriend."
"It's a film role, Jongin. And a great one, at that." Luhan hands back the phone. "Tease me all you want, but I'm kind of excited to try something new."
Jongin relents. "I know, I know." His smile is softer now, so Luhan knows he's taking him seriously. "So it's your first time doing something like this, huh?" Jongin takes a sip of his beer. "You're like…a virgin."
The wording is so ridiculous. It's only a matter of seconds before the laughter bursts out of them both like the hiccups.
"Like a virgin," Jongin sings out of tune. "Touched for the very first time!"
Luhan balls up his cocktail napkin and tosses it in Jongin's direction. "Stop making it weird," he protests, even as another laugh bubbles in his throat. "This is very important work."
"Fiiine," Jongin replies, leaning back in his seat. He wipes some moisture from his eyes, the result of their mirth. "What does Soojung have to say about it?"
Luhan can feel his expression souring just a touch. "She's kind of…a fan of his." When Jongin cocks an eyebrow and attaches it to a knowing smirk, Luhan caves. "Okay, fine. She's a big fan." He takes a swig of his own beer. So what if Jongin knows he's jealous? Luhan might have been voted the Sexiest Man in China (even though he mostly works away from the motherland), but Kim Minseok has been voted the Sexiest Man in Asia. Twice.
Not that Luhan's been keeping tabs on him or anything.
"I see." There's an insinuating curl to Jongin's lip. "And I take it she said something to deserve this reaction."
"She said she wouldn't mind seeing us kiss." Jongin's cackle seems to rip right out of him. "Said she likes the way Kim Minseok does it." In a flash, Luhan adds, "They've never worked together, all right? She just likes his style…onscreen."
"Kinky," Jongin sing-songs.
"Hey." Luhan's mouth flattens into a disapproving line. "Don't talk about her like that. She's my girlfriend."
"Oh, hyung, lighten up."
"I'm serious, Jongin."
The tilt of Jongin's brow is deliberately coy. "I think it's cool Soojung likes your piece on the side. Maybe she'll want one of her own, too--like me, for example."
"Not a chance," Luhan grits out through his teeth. He's not really angry, but it's exasperating the way Jongin knows exactly which buttons to push. "She doesn't even like you that much. Thinks you're trouble."
Jongin nudges him on the shoulder. The action is good-natured, and it says, Just kidding, hyung. Still, Jongin's eyes are sparkling. "I am trouble."
"Brat." Luhan blows out his lips in disbelief.
The sound of a throat clearing softly from behind him breaks the flow of conversation.
"I'm sorry to disturb you," a discreet voice murmurs. "But Jongin has a schedule…"
The gentling effect it has on Jongin's face doesn't escape Luhan. Neither does his slow smile.
"Soo," the rockstar says, eyes directed over Luhan's shoulder. "Where've you been?"
Luhan turns. Jongin's doe-eyed manager, Kyungsoo, stands patiently by his chair. He's wearing a crisp blue button-down tucked into faded jeans, looking more like an off-duty businessman than the manager of wildchild Kai.
Luhan's always liked him, because Jongin seems so much calmer when he's around.
"Hello, Soo!" Luhan says amiably.
"Hello, Luhan-sshi." Kyungsoo dips his head. Again he says, "I'm sorry to disturb you."
The actor glosses over it. "Just Luhan, remember?" He gets up and throws an arm over Kyungsoo's shoulders. "How long have we known each other?" Kyungsoo smiles shyly and dips his head again.
"You're not disturbing us, Soo," Jongin says, frowning ever-so-slightly. He downs his beer, already rising from his seat. "I should've been keeping track of time."
"Are you ready to go?" Kyungsoo asks, and Jongin nods reassuringly. Luhan nods, too, giving Kyungsoo one last squeeze on the arm before the smaller man thanks him and turns to leave.
Jongin is surreptitiously slipping the server his credit card. Luhan intercepts him just in time. "Jonginnie," he chides, "I've got it. Go on before Kyungsoo starts to worry."
Jongin grins, puppy-like once more. "Thanks, hyung. I'll get the next one." Luhan waves him off, and then Jongin's striding past him to catch up to his manager. Luhan watches as he puts his hand on top of Kyungsoo's head and bends to tell him something. He's looking into Kyungsoo's face. Whatever he's said makes his manager chuckle, the sound of it carrying over the ambient hush in the bar.
It's strange, Luhan thinks, watching the two men duck out through the exit, how some people can make you act completely different in their presence.
He doesn't have time to finish the thought, because his phone rings in his pocket. He pulls it out. It's Soojung calling.
"Hey, beautiful," Luhan murmurs as soon as he picks up.
"Hi," Soojung answers, her voice light and mellifluous. There's a smile in it, too. "Just finished taping for today." Luhan can hear the chorus of thank yous and good nights and you've worked hards in the background. "I'll be ready in twenty minutes. Is that okay with you?"
"Perfect," Luhan says, and Soojung makes a soft, pleasant sound. "I was just coming to get you."
The first read-through for Days of Abandon happens three weeks later at a film studio in Myeongdong. Luhan's early as usual, and there's only Gu PD and some staffers to greet when he's ushered into the venue.
"Kim Minseok isn't here yet," Luhan observes, scanning the room.
"Don't worry," Yixing says. He's slipped into Mandarin unconsciously, the way he always does in the mornings when he's still half-asleep. Luhan snickers to himself; his manager is so predictable. "He'll be here."
"He's probably still with one of his supermodels," Luhan surmises. Kim Minseok isn't known as the national heartthrob for nothing.
Yixing shrugs and slurps his Americano. "I don't doubt for a second that he was sleeping with one of them last night. But he won't be sleeping in, I can guarantee you that." Luhan tilts his head, asking for more intel. Yixing's mouth stretches open in a yawn. "He always comes on the dot, apparently. Never early, never late."
Luhan consults the time on his phone. Nine o'clock. "Thirty more minutes, then." He places his phone on the table in front of him, next to his script. "Let's time him." He hears Yixing chuckle and smells coffee as his manager undoubtedly takes another sip from his cup. Luhan picks up the thick white pamphlet, lines already color-coded per actor, and starts to go through it.
Days of Abandon is set in present-day Hong Kong. Two old schoolmates reunite in the urban jungle after years of separation, and a taboo relationship blossoms between them. Taboo, because one is a married man, and the other a gay bachelor. Luhan plays Wu Zhao, the Hong Kong native with an unfaithful wife. Kim Minseok plays Park Song Joon, a Korean peer from international school, now a lonely businessman who finds himself back in town on an extended visit.
Thumbing through the middle section of his script, where the plot starts to thicken, it suddenly dawns on Luhan just how much acting this movie is going to require of him.
"I want you," Zhao whispers to Song Joon in one scene. "I want you, but I don't understand it." They are in Zhao's apartment, and his wife is at her lover's, and Song Joon is supposed to slide his hand over Zhao's heart.
"I know you've never thought of men that way," Song Joon whispers back. "You don't have to be anything you don't want to be. Just let me stay with you." Here, Zhao is supposed to take the lead and kiss him on the mouth. DEEP KISS, the script notes read in capital letters. It's the first one they share.
Luhan closes his eyes, trying to get in character. He imagines himself having this conversation with someone he desperately loves. He pictures Soojung in his head. Her thick, dark hair and smiling eyes. The rose-petal smoothness of her cheeks. The heat of her mouth when he kisses her and the flutter in her eyelids when he presses his lips to her belly button.
But it feels like cheating, because his character is supposed to be in love with a man he hardly knows, and Soojung is a girl who's told Luhan all her secrets in the two years they've spent together.
His sigh exits in a long, belabored stream of breath.
"Everything all right?"
The voice is husky, with an upward lilt to it. It sounds hesitant, too, but like it's trying not to be.
Luhan looks up. Kim Minseok is studying him, dark-haired and cat-eyed, the expression on his face mild.
"Oh, hey," Luhan says, clearing his head of its haze. He rises from his seat and extends a hand. "I'm Luhan."
"Of course," Minseok says, taking it. His palm is cool, whereas Luhan's is warm. "I'm Minseok. I really admire your work."
Luhan can't help feeling a little sheepish at that. "Thank you," he says. Their arms fall back to their sides. "Same here."
"His girlfriend loves you," Yixing quips from behind him. He's too practical to ever get starstruck. "I'm Yixing, by the way. Lu's manager."
Minseok bows slightly and shakes Yixing's hand. "Nice to meet you, Yixing-sshi." He turns back to Luhanand smiles. "Your girlfriend's Jung Soojung, right?"
"Right," Luhan says, smiling back in spite of himself. "How'd you know?"
"Who doesn't?" Minseok asks. He has small, white teeth, like a child's. "She's gorgeous."
"She is," Luhan says. He's surprised he doesn't feel threatened--no, he just swells with pride. "I'm a lucky guy."
Minseok's eyes twinkle as he shoves his hands into his pockets. He's wearing a pair of gray jeans Luhan is sure he owns, too. "I did my research on you, since we're going to be spending a lot of time together," Minseok admits. "Thought I should come prepared, try to break the ice." He seems to check himself then, pursing his mouth and laughing all of a sudden. "Sorry, that made it sound like we were going on a blind date or something."
Luhan laughs, too. "We kind of are? My first gay role, your first gay role. We're pretty much going into this thing blind."
"Right?" Minseok looks like he's glad to find someone in the same boat. "I was just telling this girl I'm seeing--"
"Supermodel, naturally," Luhan quips. His mouth stills awkwardly over the last syllable. He's not sure why he's letting himself be so familiar with Kim Minseok, when they've only just met.
Minseok doesn't seem to mind, though. "Oh, come on, that's not really a thing." He rolls back on his heels. "I like all women."
It puts Luhan at ease for some reason. "Just keep your hands off my girl," he says affably, with absolutely no bite to it, and Minseok's small teeth flash again. "You were saying?"
"I was saying," Minseok continues, "that I was telling her about the movie,and she goes--" his voice escalates, "'Oh, you and Luhan? You would look so cute together.'" Minseok shakes his head a little, chuckling on an exhale. "I wasn't sure how to react."
"My friend Jongin said the same thing," Luhan tells him. Minseok lets out a soft oh. "I guess we just, I dunno--"
"You just have natural chemistry," Gu PD pipes up out of nowhere. He claps Minseok fondly on the side of his face. "Still on time, huh, Minseok-ah? You never change."
"No, PD-nim," Minseok says with equal fondness. He bows respectfully, but his stance is relaxed when he straightens up. "I'm a creature of habit."
The director strikes up a bit of small talk about Minseok's last movie, and Luhan takes the opportunity to pick up his phone. Stealthily, he checks the time. Nine thirty-five. Heand Kim Minseok have been talking for approximately five minutes.
On the dot, he thinks to himself, recalling Yixing's words. Then he hears his name. "Pardon?"
Minseok is saying, "I'll sit across from you, okay?" Luhan lifts his eyebrows. "It's easier for me to go through the dialogue that way, versus sitting next to the person I'm supposed to be talking to."
"That's fine," Luhan replies, a little endeared by the unnecessary explanation. "Do what you have to do."
"Cool." Minseok shoots him a bright smile, his pink gums gleaming inside of it.
Gu PD is calling for the rest of cast to take their seats around the square actors' table. Minseok moves to cross the room. Luhan places his phone back on the tableand slides into his chair.
"By the way," Minseok says, turning around again. "Do I call you Luhan? Or…"
"Or?" Luhan flips back to the first page of the script. He folds the cover back neatly as he questions Minseok with his eyes.
"Your manager called you Lu." Minseok returns his inquisitive gaze. "That's your last name, isn't it?"
"You have done your research," Luhan replies. "Last name. Nickname. All of the above."
"So what do I call you?" Minseok asks.
Luhan shrugs. "Whatever you like." He smooths his palm over his script and decides, on a whim, to try something new. "Minseok-ah."
The crinkles in the corners of Minseok's eyes make the risk worth it. "Okay," he says, walking backwards with his hands still in his pockets. "Let's have fun today, Lu."
"Park Song Joon," Zhao declares. "Is that you?"
"Wu Zhao," Song Joon replies, wonder creeping into his tone. "I haven't seen you in a decade. Or has it been more?"
"More." Zhao smiles, shaking his head. "Last time I saw you, I was seventeen."
"How old are you now?" Song Joon asks, raking a hand through his hair.
"I'm thirty," Wu Zhao tells him. "We're exactly the same age, aren't we?"
"Yeah." A gleam of the eye, a quirk of the lip, and it isn't Song Joon talking anymore. " Flirty thirty."
The room erupts in laughter. Luhan's laughing the hardest of all.
"Minseok-ah," Gu PD scolds half-heartedly. "Don't break character."
"Sorry, PD-nim," Minseok apologizes sweetly. He still looks so pleased with himself. "I thought I'd spice things up a little."
"Powerful stuff," Luhan deadpans, and another wave of laughter swells like the tide.
Today marks the fourth official read-through for Days of Abandon, and the tenth time they've gone through the entire script. Luhan gets why Minseok is antsy--he is, too. He can't wait to start filming in Hong Kong; to smell the air and the streets, hear the whir of traffic and fast-paced Mandarin. He can't wait to feel Wu Zhao in his bones in every take, the character encasing him, flesh and blood.
Fact is, read-throughs are boring. So repetitive. Luhan's just glad he's got golden boy Kim Minseok around to make things bearable.
Gu PD sighs in resignation. "Let's break for lunch," he says, addressing the entire group. "Reconvene in an hour."
Luhan catches Minseok's eye and mouths, Jajangmyeon? Minseok nods vigorously, flashing two thumbs up.
"I'm dying," Luhan tells him a few minutes later as they walk to the Chinese joint near the film studio.
"Same here," Minseok agrees. "One last read-through. Then Hong Kong, here we come."
"But we go through the script three times each meeting." Luhan's half-whining, half-sniggering at the way Minseok's eyes roll to the back of his head. "We'll probably take even longer than usual today because of your little adlib."
"You liked it."
"Absolutely." Easily, Luhan reaches out to ruffle the hair on the back of Minseok's head. "Not a lot of laughs in this love story of ours."
Minseok doesn't bother smoothing down the mess. "Can you imagine turning thirty, Lu?"
"Three years to go." Luhan brushes a fingertip against his own fringe. He needs to get it trimmed before they start the live shoots. "It seems like a long time, but I'll bet you it'll fly by."
"Yeah." Minseok watches the movement casually. "It usually does."
They get to the restaurant, and the ahjumma who operates it greets them enthusiastically. "You boys are so handsome," she gushes. "You get more and more dashing every time I see you." Minseok gives her a hug, and the ahjumma pulls Luhan into it, too, patting their backs simultaneously.
This place has become a familiar haunt. They'd gone after the first read-through and every read-through after that, ordering greasy bowls of black bean noodles and the smallest cans of Cass in stock. Not exactly in keeping with their diets, but Luhan reckons these cheat days won't hurt. He and Minseok have taken to exercising together, too, fitting in the gym sessions between their Days of Abandon meetings and other schedules.
"I was a fat kid," Minseok admitted during one of their workouts. "I have to work to keep the weight off. Not like you." He'd smiled his gummy smile, and Luhan could imagine him being just as likable with double the meat on his bones.
"I grow a beer gut like that," he'd told Minseok, snapping his fingers. "So I have to work it off, too."
In record time, the ahjumma brings their jajangmyeon, leaving extra packets of wipes on the table. Luhan splits his chopsticks and swirls them through the noodles. They make a pleasing, gooey sound as he incorporates the sauce.
"Oh, right, Minseok-ah," Luhan says. The other actor hums in return, mixing the contents of his own bowl. "Do you want to come over for dinner tomorrow? Soojung's making puttanesca."
"Nice." Minseok looks up from his noodles. "She won't mind me crashing your dinner?"
"No," Luhan replies, slouching over his bowl. "She told me to invite you."
"Really?" Minseok's eyes go a little round. "Why?"
A mouthful of noodles disappears into Luhan's mouth with a slurp. "She's curious about you."
Minseok licks sauce off of one of his chopsticks. "That okay with you?"
"If you'd asked me two months ago, I'd have said no," Luhan confesses. "But we're friends now." He swallows the food he's chewed into the side of his cheek and tries not to meet Minseok's eyes. "I kind of like hanging out with you."
"Cool," Minseok answers instantly, so blasé. "'Cause I kind of like hanging out with you, too."
Luhan glances up then, and they share a knowing smile before going back to their food. It's oily and sloppy, a little stinky. Luhan knows he's going to have to wash the black out of his mouth before they go back to the read-through, but he doesn't care. It's delicious.
Their comfortable silence is broken when Minseok's phone rings in his pocket. He pulls it out, glances at the screen, and gestures to Luhan that he's going to take it outside. "I'll be right back," he says, running his tongue over his teeth. Luhan nods, just as Minseok answers the call and turns.
"Hey, baby," Luhan hears him say as he pushes through the door. "What's up?"
Supermodel, Luhan thinks to himself, sucking up another curtain of noodles.
Fleetingly, he wonders if he should tell Minseok to bring a date--whoever it is he's dating right now. But the idea is pushed to the back of his mind when the ahjumma comes by their table to chitchat, and it doesn't resurface, not even when Minseok strolls back in from his private call.
In her pale silk blouse and tight white jeans, Soojung looks every bit as gorgeous as she does in her Basic House ads. Scratch that--Luhan thinks she looks even better.
She's setting down a plate of sourbread on his dinner table, her hair tied back in a ponytail. Luhan watches her lazily, admiring the delicateness of her wrists and the way her hair curls at the very ends.
"Don't stare at me like that, oppa," she says playfully. Only then does Luhan notice the pink pooling in her cheeks.
"Why not?" he asks. He reaches up to tuck a loose tendril of hair behind her ear.
She lets him do it. Her smile is smal land sweet. "It makes me nervous."
"Nervous?" Luhan furrows his brow. "Why would you be nervous around me?"
"No, I mean, it's nothing," Soojung backpedals. "I'm just being silly." Her smile widens now, so endearingly honest, and Luhan can feel the warmth of affection in his chest.
He catches her wrist from across the table. "Come here for a second, will you?"
She circles the table obligingly, fingers lacing into his as he pulls her into his lap. He pecks her on the tip of her nose, and her eyelashes quiver. "Explain it to me, Soojung."
"It's really nothing." She plants a kiss between his eyebrows. "You just…you make me feel special."
"You are special," Luhan says, staring up at her.
She laughs, hiding her face as it turns a flattering shade of crimson. She's always been embarrassed by stuff like this. Luhan, on the other hand, is heart-on-sleeve.
"I have to finish the pasta," she tells him, squirming in his lap. Luhan only releases her when she tickles his ribs.
"Are you excited to meet Minseok?" he asks, observing the sway of Soojung's hips as she walks back into the kitchen.
"Of course," she replies. She looks over her shoulder, the expression on her face impish. "But what I'm really excited to see is your kissing scene."
The sound Luhan makes is between a gurgle and a groan. " Soojung."
"What?" she asks innocently. "Ex-idols like me with 'girl-next door image' stamped into our contracts rarely get kissed properly on camera--"
"I'll kiss you any way you like," Luhan tries to interrupt.
"--so at least let me enjoy the view." Soojung beams at him with complete disregard. She lifts a hand to faux-fan at her cheek. "The way that man kisses is--"
"Don't say it," Luhan warns, already edging out of his chair.
"Hot." Soojung giggles, and Luhan screws up his mouth, unable to contain the grin behind it. His girlfriend doesn't stop talking, not even when he strides over to her and reels her in by the waist. "He does it the Hollywood way, open mouth, with tongue--"
"Open mouth, huh?" Luhan grazes his lips along the column of her neck. He laps, just once, at the pulse point underneath her jaw. "With tongue?"
He can feel Soojung melt into his arms, her smile wavering infinitesimally. "Yes, oppa."
"You're making me jealous of him now," he says, tilting his head so he can press their mouths together. He switches sides, then touches his tongue to hers when Soojung parts her lips. "I don't think I like Minseok anymore."
"You don't have any reason to be jealous." Soojung sounds a little breathless now. "I'm just teasing." She kisses his upper lip gently. "You know I'm in love with you."
It never gets old. One minute she's as shy as a rosebud, the next like a naughty child, the next an open book. It's one of the things Luhan likes most about her.
He presses their foreheads together. "So why don't I just tell him to turn back and take you into the shower with me?"
"Nooo," Soojung squeals, effectively breaking the moment by batting him away. "I made this fancy dinner!"
"You made it for me."
"You and Kim Minseok," she insists, laughing in defiance. "Oppa, you know I used to have a poster of him in my old dorm, right? The whole time I was in Krystal?"
Krystal was the girl group Soojung belonged to from age sixteen to twenty-two. Its members have since disbanded amicably to pursue solo careers. When Luhan met Soojung last year, she had just turned twenty-three, which means she's had a thing for Kim Minseok for approximately…
Luhan's nostrils flare. "You what?"
"So pleasepleasepleasepleaseplease." The girl positively wriggles. " Please, oppa. Let me finally meet him, hmm?"
The doorbell rings before Luhan can retort. His eyes flick over to the wall clock on impulse. Eight PM. Of course.
"He's here!" Soojung whispers, hands flapping at her sides. She smooths back her hair, pauses, and repeats the action two more times.
It reminds Luhan of the time he'd run into Zhang Ziyi backstage at an award show in Shanghai. He was already famous by then, but he'd still tugged at the sleeves of his tux obsessively, hoping the jacket was sitting squarely on his shoulders, right before she'd said hello.
Soojung's fidgeting with the strap of her blouse. It's actually kind of cute. "You look great," Luhan says, thawing. "Just don't flirt with him too much, okay?"
"Oppa, I would never--"
"I know, beautiful." He pecks her on the cheek, the smack loud and indulgent. "I'm just teasing."
He goes to answer the door as Soojung plates her puttanesca. Minseok's standing in the corridor with a bottle of red in one hand.
"Park Song Joon," Luhan drawls. "Is that you?"
Smile crooked, Minseok props up his free hand in greeting.
Luhan chuckles, taking the wine. "On the dot, as always."
"You know me."
"Come on in." Luhan waves him through the door. "Soojung's dying to meet you." He can hear the hissed oppa! like a whip slicing through air.
Minseok rubs the back of his neck, smile pulling up evenly on both sides. "Hello, Soojung-sshi."
A demure, cotton-soft voice replies, "Hello, sunbaenim. Just Soojung, please~"
Luhan jabs Minseok in the sternum. "No. Flirting."
"Yeah, yeah." The other actor pats Luhan's chest in a way that's meant to be heartening. His hand's still as cool as it was before. "Not while my man is here."
From all the way in the kitchen, Soojung guffaws.
Save for a few wet streaks of tomato, the serving plate looks as though it's been licked clean.
"That was delicious, Soojung," Minseok tells the beautiful cook. "Thanks for letting me try it."
"You're welcome, sunbaenim," she replies, looking like a kid who's just been handed a present.
Luhan smiles at her, pouring her another glass of wine. The night has gone well. Being the outgoing type, Soojung wasted no time in making Minseok feel comfortable in her boyfriend's home. She'd seated him next to Luhan at the table, fussing over them both as she peppered Minseok with questions about his last two romcoms. She'd let slip that she'd seen his very first film at sixteen, when he was a nineteen-year-old rookie playing a Korean Romeo, and Minseok's smile had been bashful.
"I was a big Krystal fan," he'd admitted, and Luhan hadn't minded how quickly Soojung colored with pleasure. Krystal had had a legion of followers--Luhan among them.
He offers Minseok the last bit of burgundy in the bottle. When the latter declines, licking at the wine-stained seam of his mouth, Luhan pours it for himself.
"You don't have to be so formal with me," Minseok tells Soojung, his tone already fond.
Luhan can tell she likes that. "We debuted at the same time, didn't we? One year before oppa did?" Her face is still a little rosy. She blushes so easily.
"That's right, sunbaenim," Luhan quips, sending a wink her way. Soojung tugs at his earlobe, more a caress than a reprimand.
She turns back to Minseok. "I'll drop the nim then, sunbae." Her eyes curve into crescents. "I'd call you oppa, but--"
"Oppa here wouldn't stand for that," Minseok concludes, jerking his head in Luhan's direction.
"Ha ha, funny," Luhan scoffs, reaching into his pocket for his cigarettes. "Sooj, I'm just gonna go for a smoke, okay?"
Her pretty face pinches. "I wish you'd quit. Those things are horrible for you."
"I'll just have one," he bargains, sweet as honey. He pats his belly. It makes a compact sound. "I need it. You fed me too well."
Minseok sniggers. Soojung rolls her eyes. Pointedly, she asks, "Do you smoke, sunbae?"
"Oh…uh," Minseok stalls. He looks as though he doesn't want to disappoint her. "Only when reminded?" Her laugh is like a little song. Luhan watches as Minseok--the traitor--bats his eyelashes at his girlfriend. "Can I go have one, too, Soojung?"
"Just one," she declares, shaking her pointer at him.
Luhan hooks his fingers behind Minseok's elbow and half-hauls him out of his seat. "All right, that's enough. Come on." When he loosens his grip, Minseok's arm wraps easily around his waist.
"Lead the way, Lu."
They take the elevator down to the pool area on the fifth floor, where smoking is permitted. Luhan hands Minseok a Dunhill and puts another in his mouth, holding his lighter between them so the flame ignites both cigarettes at once.
Minseok takes a long drag of his stick. "Soojung's great," he says easily. "I can see why you're with her."
"Thanks." Luhan exhales, the smoke curling in a ribbon of diaphanous white. "You still seeing that supermodel, Minseok-ah?"
The other smirks. "You say that like you know it for sure."
"She's the one in all those SK-II ads, right?" Luhan licks his lips. They taste of wine and olives. "Yixing told me."
Minseok shrugs, pulling in another drag. The way his mouth tapers around the stick is neat and expert, not a wisp of smoke escaping until he blows it all out in a steady stream. "Yeah," he answers. "It's on and off."
"Oh?" Luhan blows a few smoke rings, rounding out his mouth and flicking his tongue to create the hole in center. "Mind if I ask why?"
"No particular reason." Minseok stabs at the rings boyishly before they dissipate. "Sometimes it works. Other times it doesn't." He grins, but it looks a little worn. "There aren't a lot of girls out there like Soojung."
Without thinking, Luhan makes an offer he didn't realize was on the table. "Whenever it doesn't work," he says, "you should just hang out with us."
Minseok laughs, just once. It's all gums and perfect, pearly teeth. "Do you feel sorry for me, Lu?"
"Hardly, Mr. Sexiest Man in All of the Orient," Luhan retorts mildly. Minseok laughs again, and Luhan can't tell if he's being sarcastic or earnest. Not that it matters. "It's just that Soojung likes you, and I--"
"Thanks," Minseok cuts in. His eyes are particularly feline in this light,and his voice is a degree more gentle than it was before. "I'll take you up on that."
They smoke in silence for a few more minutes, the night air clouding with the filmy exhaust of their cigarettes. When Minseok stubs his out, Luhan does the same. Then he loops his arm around Minseok's waist, the way the latter had done before they'd left the apartment.
Minseok leans into the touch. "It's weird," he observes, "that we didn't know each other two months ago."
"Really weird," Luhan concedes, slightly buzzed from the wine and only half-aware that something has lifted between them. "Glad it's two months later."
In the days leading up to Hong Kong, dinner at Luhan's becomes a regular thing. Every two nights, Minseok will show up with something to add to the table. Wine, soju, beer. A floury baguette wrapped in paper. A bag of fresh fruit.
Sometimes Soojung joins them,and the conversation flows like blood through veins. At around midnight, Minseok will excuse himself to give the couple their space. But not before Luhan extracts a promise from him to work out or play a one-on-one football match the following day.
Other times, when Soojung is filming her sageuk and can't make it, Luhan will chat idly with Minseok until the wee hours of the morning. The ice in their light beers will crackle and melt, diluting the pale gold, as they discuss their childhood dreams and the trajectory of their careers. They recount their upward climb in show business, the slow decline of some of their peers, and the fear that they might someday be in the same boat. They joke about their management--YG for Minseok, SME for Luhan--and how both companies have long given up on damage control when it comes to their love lives.
Luhan tells him more about cute, candid Yixing, and Jongin, the favored hoobae. "Jongin is Kai?" his companion asks incredulously. "That kid runs wild."
In turn, Minseok tells Luhan about his younger sister, a college sophomore named Minsun whose smile is the exact replica of his.
"Keep that to yourself," Minseok adds after a brief lull. "I've never told any of the media outlets what her name is. To protect her."
"They won't hear it from me," Luhan swears, taking a gulp of watered-down Pilsen.
He doesn't even tell Soojung.
"So I hear you've been spending a lot of time with Leo." It's noisy in this hole-in-the-wall chimek joint, but the foreign name is hard to miss as it leaves Jongin's mouth.
"What?" Luhan's eyebrows merge. "You've lost me."
"Isn't that what they call Kim Minseok?" The rockstar's face drips with mischief. "Asia's Leonardo DiCaprio."
"Jongin, sometimes I think you make this shit up."
"I'm serious," Jongin protests, scraping his fingers through platinum blond hair. His concept for his latest album makes him look like a mad scientist: short, straw-like locks sticking out in every direction. "Think about it, hyung. All those articles about 'Minseok Mania.' All those movies where his characters die. All those models."
Luhan opens his mouth, then closes it again. "Point taken," he mutters.
"So?" Jongin presses. "Have you replaced me or what?" He's wearing eyeliner today, and it makes his puppy eyes look sharper than they actually are. "All Dispatch talks about is this brewing bromance between you two. And I haven't seen you in a month."
"Don't be jealous, Jonginnie. It doesn't suit you." Luhan ruffles his hair, and the younger man snorts. "Since when have you read Dispatch?"
"Tabloids are fascinating." Jongin takes a piece of chicken skin between his fingers and pops it into his mouth. "Horrible, but fascinating. A lot of times it's all bullshit, of course, but sometimes they really get the story spot on." His eyebrows shoot up. "They have eyes everywhere, hyung. It's freaky."
"As if you care," Luhan says. "You do whatever you want. Minseok thinks you're as wild as I do, and I haven't told him half the shenanigans you've gotten up to."
"I'm just being myself," Jongin declares. There's that smirk again. "And you can tell your Minseok I said so."
"Minseok-hyung, you awful brat." Luhan's laughter is incredulous as he tosses a crumpled napkin in Jongin's face, as usual. He leaves the "your" alone. "Come on. You pull the prettiest girls out of the audience at your concerts and all but shove your tongue down their throats. By the time they leave the stage, they're more or less pregnant." Here, a shake of the head. "You dive into the crowd with your butt crack hanging out and you keep on doing it even though you know the die-hards will be shoving their underwear into your back pockets. That is so unsanitary, Jongin." Luhan wrinkles his nose. "And then there was that incident in your van yesterday…"
"Look who's been reading Dispatch now," Jongin says under his breath. His tone is a bit off, but Luhan ignores it in favor of continuing his train of thought.
"You haven't told me what that was about, by the way." The actor purses his lips. "I just saw the photos of Soo getting into your van and then clambering out twenty seconds later, beet-red in the face. What the hell were you doing in there that got him all flustered?" Another idea occurs to him. "Or who?"
The paparazzi shots, taken at close range, show Kyungsoo posted outside Jongin's white Hyundai, celebrity-grade tint in its windows. He seems almost like he's keeping watch, wide eyes staring straight ahead and his entire face a strange, bright pink under the sunlight. Ten minutes later (according to Dispatch's timer), Jongin calls him back in. Jongin's closeup as he rolls down the window and sticks out his bleach-blond head is unmistakeable. Kyungsoo does not turn to look at him. Jongin cranes further out the window so the tops of his shoulders can be seen, and in the photos, it's clear he's shirtless.
Manager stands guard during Kai's rendezvous, the headline reads. Who is in the car with Kai?
Jongin shrugs, and Luhan sees it now--the slight downward turn of his junior's lips, the way he's pushing bits of chicken around his plate with his chopsticks. He's pouting.
"Jongin?"
"There was nobody else in there." Jongin glances at him. "Just me."
Luhan uses a more careful tone this time, demonstratively brushing a hair from Jongin's threadbare tee. "So what was up with Soo?"
"I kissed him."
Of all the things he thought Jongin would say, this wasn't one of them. "Okay," Luhan says. "Okay." He licks the corner of his mouth, tongue worrying at a dry sliver of skin. He keeps his voice very, very even. "Why did you do that?"
"Because I felt like it," Jongin answers.
"Are you…" The words catch in Luhan's throat.
"I don't know," Jongin says matter-of-factly. "That's the first time I've ever wanted to kiss a guy before."
"So you like Kyungsoo…like that?" Luhan thinks of the way Jongin speaks to his manager, discreet and attentive, boxing out everything else. The little touches to Kyungsoo's hair, Kyungsoo's wrist--not enough to raise suspicion, but not quite harmless, either.
"I don't know," Jongin says again. "Maybe. I don't even know if he has a girlfriend. Or a boyfriend. I don't want to know." He fiddles with the hem of his shirt. "What does it mean if I like girls, but I don't want Kyungsoo to like anyone else except me?"
"Well." Luhan clears his throat. "I don't know either." Jongin expels a weak puff of air. Luhan perseveres. "Whatever it means, it's fine, Jongin." He smooths over the tangle atop Jongin's head. "It's totally fine with me, who you like. Doesn't change a thing."
That helps. Jongin flashes an easy smile, all brotherly love and beautiful teeth. "Cool."
"As long as it's not Soojung," Luhan amends.
"Still sore about that, hyung?" the younger says casually. "We were eighteen, and it was just a date."
"That's one date too many." Luhan flicks him on the forehead, and Jongin yelps, pulling back. "Did you kiss her?"
Jongin rubs at the tender spot, more alert now. "What did Soojung say?"
"She said she doesn't remember," Luhan says promptly. "Did you kiss her, Jongin?"
"I don't remember." This time, the smile that curves across his face is devious.
"You little--" Luhan reaches across the table and fists the low-slung neckline of Jongin's tee. "Did you or didn't you?"
To his surprise, Jongin jerks forward as if to kiss him. Luhan pushes him back roughly, retreating into his own chair. A few of the other patrons regard them with interest.
The peal of laughter that escapes Jongin's throat is grating. "What's the matter, hyung?" he asks in a feeble attempt at guilelessness. "I thought you were cool with the whole guy-on-guy thing."
Luhan kicks him under the table. "You stick to Soo."
"And you stick to Minseok-hyung," Jongin ripostes, emphasizing the honorific. He takes a swig of his Hite and winks.
Luhan's so used to it by now, he doesn't skip a beat. He's curious about something else. "What did Soo say," he ventures, "when you kissed him?"
"Nothing. He just pulled away and bolted," Jongin says. "You saw the pictures. He stood outside the van like he was waiting for something to pass--like a phase, or something. I kept texting him to come back in, but he wouldn't check his phone. So I poked my head out and, you know," Jongin gestures vaguely. "I said I was sorry and that I wouldn't do it again and that it was an accident."
"Did you mean that?" Luhan takes the last bite of his chicken breast.
"No," Jongin admits. "I have no idea what I'm doing. I just don't want him to act differently around me."
"Has he been?"
"He won't look me in the eye." Jongin scratches at his temple. His gaze fixates on something behind Luhan. "See? Look at him, hyung."
Luhan turns in his seat. Kyungsoo is standing outside the entrance of the restaurant, shifting uncertainly from foot to foot. He's partially obscured by the "Chicken + Beer" lettered in hangul across the glass front window, but Luhan can tell he's looking at them. The actor raises his hand in greeting, and Kyungsoo swiftly dips his head in response. Then his eyes drift, presumably to glance at Jongin,and his whole countenance freezes. Suddenly, the manager is looking down, typing something into his smartphone.
Jongin's buzzes on the table. "He just texted that I'm wanted at the agency," the rockstar says, picking up the device. "He won't even come in to tell me himself." He looks frustrated. "I'm gonna call him."
"You do that." Luhan pushes his seat back. "Iron it out. I'll be taking a leak."
He has to canvass the chimaek joint to spot the toilet's signage, which is as tiny and inconspicuous as the restaurant itself. He only catches a snippet of Jongin's phone conversation before he makes a beeline for the right door.
"Soo. Please," Jongin says. His voice is quiet, but there's a sense of urgency to it. "You don't have to be afraid of me."
Days of Abandon begins its live shoots three months after the first read-through.
Minseokand Luhan are scheduled to film in Hong Kong for four weeks. Yixing informs Luhan it's likely they will extend to six due to Gu PD's infamous obsessive-compulsiveness. His actors often end up filming simple scenes over and over again for days, because the director doesn't think the natural light or the color of a couch or the feeling is quite right.
"Already cleared it with the boss," Yixing shares brightly. He means the head of SME, who happens to love Luhan, as all CEOs love their biggest star.
"Fine with me," the actor says. "I don't mind staying in Hong Kong a little longer." He's worked with less pleasant directors than Gu PD before, and a little OCD won't take the fun out of filming with Minseok.
He's pleased to discover that the other feels the same way.
"Let's press for six weeks," Minseok says as they climb into the luxury car waiting for them at the airport. He speaks in a regular tone of voice, as though there isn't a swarm of fans screaming outside the vehicle. "I've only been here to attend premieres and store openings. Never stayed long enough to explore. Have you?"
"Nope," Luhan says, sliding off his sunglasses and running a hand through his hair. "Count me in on the exploration." The way Minseok looks at him like he's his closest friend in the world right now makes Luhan's insides warm.
Hong Kong in July is hot and wet. Its streets are noisy with the sounds of life and neon with blinking electric signage. Its buildings race endlessly towards the sky--just like in Seoul or Beijing, Luhan thinks, except Hong Kong still feels mysterious in a way his two hometowns no longer are.
The first scene they film is, coincidentally, the reunion between Zhao and Song Joon. Gu PD rolls the cameras late that same night they arrive, when the crowds have gone home and the two wildly-popular leading men can do their jobs in peace.
The reunion takes place thirteen years after their high school graduation, in the Citysuper in Times Square. Song Joon is buying bread--a light, lonely dinner for one--and Zhao has just walked in from another part of the supermarket, arms laden with groceries.
"How've you been?" Zhao asks once they've gotten the greetings out of the way.
"Not too bad." Song Joon's smile is ironic, so the audience knows he's not quite telling the whole story. "And you?"
"I got married three years ago." Zhao shifts his weight to one foot, looking at the ground before meeting Song Joon's eyes again. His own eyes flash with a sudden openness. "My wife is cheating on me."
"How do you know?" Song Joon asks, after a long, measured moment.
"I heard them," Zhao says. "In our bedroom, one afternoon when I got home early from work. There was a man's voice, and she was moaning. I didn't know what to do, so I walked out and did the groceries instead. When I came back, she was waiting for me, like she is every night, with dinner on the table and a kiss for my cheek." He tightens his hold on the paper bags in his grasp. "It's a peculiar reaction, isn't it? Most guys would have stormed in and…"
"You were never like most guys," Song Joon says simply. "Not in high school. I guess not even now."
Zhao blinks, and his smile is not really a smile, more like a softening at the corners of his drawn mouth.
"You're doing your groceries today," Song Joon muses, like he's trying to put together a puzzle. He thinks better of it, and says, "I'm sorry, it's none of my business."
"They're in my house. In my bed." Zhao doesn't break eye contact. "It was loud, so I left. That was six hours ago."
"Would you like to go for a drink?" Song Joon swallows gently, and his Adam's apple bobs. "For old time's sake? But only if you'd like some company."
"Yes," Zhao replies, and he places his groceries on the floor by the entrance of the bakery, where he will leave them. "A drink and a friend. Sounds good to me."
"Cut!" Gu PD calls out. He finally looks satisfied. It has, after all, been seven takes, and the time on Luhan's wristwatch, when he consults it, reads two AM.
"Minseok-ah," he says, as the process of packing up equipment hustles and bustles around them. "Let's get a drink for real. We don't have to be up until eight."
Minseok looks mildly scandalized. "I love how you say it like six hours--less than that, really--is enough time for a guy to get a good night's rest."
"Come on," Luhan whines, going for full-on, Jongin-level aegyo. "You don't need beauty sleep." He tugs on Minseok's forearm and knows, just by the give in it, that he's already won. He wonders at the odd sensation it leaves in his chest, even as he teases, "You're beautiful just the way you--"
"Shut up, Lu," Minseok replies, dark eyes dancing. There's annoyance in his gaze, but affection, too, thinly-veiled and, somehow, attractive. "We'll drink in my room. Yours is a pigsty."
Part 2