(Untitled)

[potter_mouth]

YOU'VE PROBABLY HEARD OF ME BEFORE.  I'M HARRY POTTER.  VOLDEMORT (YEAH, I SAID HIS NAME) TRIED TO KILL ME WHEN I WAS A BABY AND I LIVED, BUT UNFORTUNATELY, HE DID KILL MY PARENTS, LEAVING ME SADLY ORPHANED, BUT WITH A LOT OF MONEY AND NOTHING TO DO WITH IT.  WHAT BETTER, NOW THAT I HAVE REACHED MANHOOD, THAN TO CHANNEL MY POWERS AND MY FINANCES

Comments

[waitingfortom]

HEY! THEY'RE NOT GOING TO BE TORTURED! Or turned into an Army of Darkness!

Oh, yeah, because goats are so brilliant, aren't they! "Look at us, look at us, we can eat and eat and eat and you can make cheese and milk off us!" Sheep have wool and they're CUDDLY!

You're just trying to be--

... Orphan ZOO?

[potter_mouth]

YEAH, I DON'T KNOW WHAT I'D DO IF I DIDN'T HAVE ENOUGH WOOL SO MY WIFE COULD DO THE WEAVING ON THE HOMESTEAD.

[waitingfortom]

Not for our use-- resell! Profit!

[potter_mouth]

GINNY, I CAN TELL YOU, YOU PROFIT A HELL OF A LOT MORE FROM FRESH MILK AND CHEESE THAN YOU PROFIT FROM WOOL. ESPECIALLY WITH THESE GOATS. THEY'RE...INTERESTING.

[dracoisyourking]

I like goats :O

[potter_mouth]

I LIKE IT WHEN YOU DON'T COMMENT ON MY POSTS.

[dracoisyourking]

I LUV YOU.

[potter_mouth]

I KNOW, ACTUALLY, I HAD TO TELL THE MUGGLE POST TO STOP DELIVERING LETTERS FROM YOU.

[terryclothrags]

Wow. This sounds like a spectacularly bad idea.

[dracoisyourking]

Mrow.

[terryclothrags]

Draco, are you feeling alright? When you lost all that weight, did you misplace your mind as well? Draco, try to remember: where did you last see your brain?

[potter_mouth]

I HAVE CATEGORICAL EVIDENCE THAT HE NEVER HAD A BRAIN TO BEGIN WITH.

[herbology_dork]

er, what do you mean by "much better orphans for a lot less money?" do you mean people are actually going to be paying to view the orphans? is that where the name "orphan zoo" came from? because that is just... not on.
maybe instead of creating a competing orphanage, you should have used your money and influence to make sure there was someone in the ministry to look over the orphanage and make sure there was no torture/recruitment of a dark army going on? it's not as though you've ever expressed being particularly fond of small children....

[potter_mouth]

YEAH, BECAUSE THE MINISTRY OF MAGIC IS COMPLETELY COMPETENT. I'VE HEARD RUMOURS ABOUT SCRIMGEOUR'S INTERACTIONS WITH CHILDREN THAT WOULD MAKE YOUR EYEBALLS POP OUT. I MEAN, MY HUMANITARIANISM EXTENDS BEYOND THAT. COME ON, GIVE ME SOME CREDIT.

ALSO, I PLAN TO ACTUALLY BE AN ORPHAN SHELTER SHELTER, SO WHEN TOM RIDDLE'S ORPHANS CAN ESCAPE THEY HAVE SOMEWHERE TO GO. IT'S LIKE THE UNDERGROUND RAILROAD, EXCEPT WITH ORPHANS!

[masterriddle]

Bring it, as they say, on.

[potter_mouth]

OH, IT'S ALREADY BEEN BROUGHT.

[potter_mouth]

ACTUALLY, NO IT HASN'T. I JUST FELT LIKE SAYING THAT. BUT I WILL. BUT NOT BECAUSE YOU SUGGESTED IT. I WAS ALREADY GOING TO.