Fic: Fate 2/3 (Cara/Kahlan, NC-17)
Title: Fate (2/3)
Author: stopstartstall
Pairing: Cara/Kahlan.
Rating: NC-17
Word Count: ~5700
Summary: When Zedd casts the Spell of Undoing it throws them back to the day Cara should have been taken by the Mord’Sith. AU from that point on.
Previous: Part One.
“I want to feed myself,” Kahlan’s words were shy at first then she spoke again a little more insistently, “I want to try to feed myself.” She’d managed to sit up for the first time that morning and once the dizziness had passed she had resolved to stop letting the other woman treat her like an invalid.
Cara nodded encouragingly and turned the bowl so the spoon was facing towards the Confessor. Slowly, Kahlan reached for it with her good arm and Cara saw the effort it cost her not to wince at the faint tug of pain in her opposite shoulder.
Kahlan carefully wrapped her fingers around the spoon handle and raised it to her mouth. She ate slowly, in silence, and by the end her arm was trembling with the effort after nearly two weeks of disuse. Cara didn’t hurry her or try to take over; she knew the Confessor’s pride wouldn’t allow it.
Finally Kahlan said she’d had enough and though she didn’t say anything, Cara was sure she was a little disappointed at the effort it had cost her to do something so simple as eat. When Cara returned from cleaning the bowl, Kahlan had turned towards the wall and clearly didn’t want to talk.
Cara watched her for a long moment before ducking under the curtain she had hung between the rooms of the cottage to give Kahlan some privacy and settling down on the bedroll she had spread on the floor. She lay on her back and stared at the ceiling, thinking hard.
***
Sometimes Cara would disappear for hours at a time, telling Kahlan she had to visit someone or lend her back to a neighbour’s efforts to rebuild their house. Kahlan knew she was actually attending to Resistance business, and had gathered that Cara was something of a leader among the freedom fighters.
Each time she disappeared, Kahlan would stare around the little cottage and try to reconcile the contents with what she knew of Cara. The woman fascinated her. She’d never met someone who behaved as if she couldn’t touch them at any moment and steal their life from them.
Being in Cara’s house and seeing the way Cara looked at her made Kahlan feel like a normal woman. She didn’t realise how much she hated the way people treated her until she was alone with someone who didn’t walk on eggshells around her.
Cara burst through the door later with two freshly skinned rabbits slung over her shoulder and immediately crossed the room to peer at Kahlan’s healing wound. She leaned forward and dropped a hand to Kahlan’s good shoulder to steady herself as her eyes examined the area for any changes. Finally satisfied, she stood again, squeezing Kahlan’s uninjured shoulder before turning to the hearth and asking Kahlan if she liked rabbit stew.
Kahlan felt the touch linger long after Cara had gone.
***
Kahlan blushed and turned away as Cara carefully cleaned her shoulder and applied the sticky unguent to the angry wound. Her other arm clutched her shift to her chest shyly though she had recently realised that Cara had probably already seen her naked torso while the healer and surgeon were working on her. The thought made her blush more.
Cara’s fingers were sure and the unguent was comfortingly cool against her flushed skin as she slowly spread it around the healing wound. Kahlan closed her eyes and sighed gently.
“Good?”
Kahlan nodded and opened her eyes to meet Cara’s. “Thank you.”
Cara looked away and Kahlan knew she had caught the full meaning behind her words. “You’re welcome, Confessor.”
***
“Aren’t you married?” The words spilled out of Kahlan’s mouth before she could stop them and she realised how harsh and accusatory they sounded the minute she’d spoken them. “I just... I mean... You’re an attractive woman,” Kahlan blushed furiously, “You could have any man you wanted.”
Cara just smiled a crooked smile from her place by the hearth, clearly amused, and shook her head. “Why thank you, Confessor, you’re not so bad yourself.” She smirked when Kahlan contrived to go even redder.
After a moment Cara met her eyes shyly and spoke again, “Do you have... a mate?
Kahlan’s eyes widened in surprise, “No! I mean, I haven’t got... I don’t... No.”
Cara’s grin faded and was immediately replaced by a look of horror. Kahlan wasn’t sure how but the mood had suddenly changed between them. “Sorry, I didn’t mean to make you uncomfortable...” Cara stood up abruptly and looked anywhere but at Kahlan. “I’m going to bed. Good night.” Without another word Cara padded through to the little room at the back of the cottage and disappeared from Kahlan’s view.
Kahlan stared after her for a long time.
***
“You’re going to have to move eventually you know.” Cara was sitting with her feet up by the hearth, idly carving at a branch with her belt knife.
Kahlan ignored her.
Cara put aside her carving and stood, pulling her chair with her. “You’re taking up my only bed and I’ve had quite enough of it.” Her chair was close to the pallet now, and she resumed her seat, putting her feet up onto the bed beside Kahlan. “Move, Confessor!” She tapped Kahlan playfully with her foot and looked at her expectantly.
Kahlan still couldn’t believe the things this woman dared to say to her.
She felt a smile tugging at the corner of her mouth and turned her head away so Cara wouldn’t see. It took her a moment to realise that she could feel the muscles pulling but the pain had gone and she whipped her head back around to stare at Cara in surprise. “That didn’t hurt!” She moved her head from side to side experimentally and then grinned at Cara again.
Cara just quirked an eyebrow at her and nudged her with her feet again, “Does this mean I can have my bed back?”
***
Kahlan took a deep breath and stared down at her feet, they looked smaller and more pitiful than she remembered. She was sitting on the edge of the bed, trying to find the will to stand up unaided for the first time since she had come to Cara’s house. Cara had made her a rough crutch that she used to get around when she absolutely had to, but her injured leg had trembled beneath her and she’s always been terrified that she was going to fall. The healer had seen her the day before and declared her bones mended, now all she had to do was stand up. She swallowed nervously and looked down at her feet again.
“Come on, Confessor. I have things to do today,” Cara’s face was playful despite her words and she took a step closer to the bed. “I’ll catch you if you fall.”
Kahlan closed her eyes for a moment and offered a silent prayer to the Spirits before shuffling closer to the edge of the pallet. Her feet hit the floor and she pushed up with her arms, feeling her wounded shoulder protest faintly at the action.
Cara stepped even closer, so close that they were almost touching and held her arms ready in case Kahlan needed her. Kahlan felt a slight blush colour her cheeks at the woman’s proximity and she looked away, trying to ignore the wave of dizziness she felt as she did so.
When she looked back, Cara’s grin threatened to split her face in two, “You’re standing up!”
Kahlan returned the smile until she felt her legs trembling. She swayed once and then her legs gave way under her. She immediately felt Cara’s strong arms wrap around her and sank into them dejectedly. Her head fell to Cara’s shoulder and she exhaled sharply. She didn’t need to say anything for Cara to know what she was thinking.
“It’ll get easier. You need to build up your strength.” Cara gently lowered Kahlan back onto the pallet and Kahlan felt the loss of contact like a hammer blow.
She reached for Cara’s hand. “What if my legs don’t work?”
Cara shook her head, “They will, Confessor, I’ve seen this happen to wounded soldiers before.”
“But what if they don’t?” Kahlan demanded. She was scared now. All this time she’d been concentrating on the pain in her shoulder when really she should have been paying attention to her legs and now they didn’t work. She huffed in frustration.
Cara rolled her eyes, “Then you’ll stay on that pallet forever and I’ll make you rabbit stew.”
Her voice let Kahlan know this wouldn’t be an entirely bad thing.
***
Cara grabbed her sword and ran out into the village the second they heard the alarm bells ringing. Kahlan was alone for a moment before a man from the Resistance - Kahlan couldn’t remember his name though Cara had introduced them before - stepped inside the room and took up a defensive position by the door. Kahlan was grateful; she had her daggers next to her and she could take a dozen shaky steps now but she’d be no match for anyone that tried to kill her.
She sat on the bed and listened to the sounds of fighting carried over from the far side of the village, wondering what was happening. She held her breath each time she heard someone cry out in pain, praying that it wasn’t Cara. Finally, after what seemed like an age, the sounds faded and Kahlan waited anxiously for Cara to return. When she did Kahlan couldn’t help the little gasp that escaped her. She scooted over to the edge of the bed, trying to get as close to Cara as she possibly could. She didn’t trust her legs enough to try to stand.
One of Cara’s men had an arm slung around her shoulder, supporting her. She had a cut on one arm and the other was holding her head as though it was about to come off.
“Cara? What happened?” Even from the bed Kahlan was a commanding force, and the men reported to her as though she had a right to ask.
“D’Harans, Confessor. Cara took a blow to the back of the head and she’s a little dizzy.”
“I’m fine!” Cara interrupted. She pushed the man off her and took a step, swaying slightly as she did so. She grabbed a nearby chair for support. “I’m fine,” she said again, though no one believed her.
“I’ll make sure she’s OK,” Kahlan had a feeling Cara didn’t want to show weakness in front of her men. “You can go.”
They both nodded a salute and departed, leaving them alone. Cara and Kahlan stared at each other for a long moment before Kahlan shifted over in the pallet and patted the space beside her, “Come here.”
“Why?” Cara seemed to take a step towards her against her will and she stopped for a moment before taking another.
“You’ve got a head wound,” Kahlan patted the space beside her again and Cara’s eyes darted to it. She licked the corner of her mouth and took another step.
“I’ll be fine,” Cara was almost at the pallet now so Kahlan grabbed her hand and pulled. Cara tumbled onto the bed.
“I need to keep an eye on you.”
Cara met her eyes helplessly then looked away towards the curtain that separated their rooms as though she was thinking of making a run for it. Kahlan pushed at Cara’s shoulder until the other woman lay down and then sank down beside her. Cara lay tensely at Kahlan’s side and Kahlan couldn’t help thinking how it seemed like she was still ready for battle.
The silence stretched between them until Cara spoke again softly, “I really am fine, Confessor.”
Kahlan propped herself up on one elbow and met the blond’s eyes, “I was worried about you.” She looked away and inhaled slowly, steadying herself. “Just stay with me tonight?” When Kahlan looked over at Cara again the blond had closed her eyes, and there was a faint hint of a smile on her lips.
When Kahlan woke up in the morning she was wrapped protectively around Cara, one arm draped around the other woman’s waist and her face pressed into her blond hair. Cara, for her part, had her hand on top of Kahlan’s arm, and their fingers were laced together loosely. Cara murmured something drowsily and let go of Kahlan’s hand to turn and face the Confessor. Kahlan gently traced a finger down Cara’s cheek and then tucked a stray strand of blond hair behind her ear. She had never been so close to another person before. She stared in wonder that the other woman trusted her so much that she would sleep in her arms.
Finally Cara yawned and opened her eyes without a trace of embarrassment. She smiled, “Morning, Confessor.”
Kahlan blushed and looked away, untangling herself as she did so. “Morning,” she whispered.
***
Kahlan held her arms out to steady herself as she took another couple of steps. Cara was next to her with one hand at Kahlan’s side in case she needed extra support. Kahlan had completed three loops of the cottage alone and now she returned to sit on the edge of her pallet and stretch her legs.
“You’ll be dancing in no time,” Cara crossed to the little window and looked out into the night air, listening to the tavern music that drifted to them through the village with a far away expression on her face.
Kahlan didn’t say anything for a minute and Cara turned to look at her and caught the embarrassed expression on her face, “What’s wrong?”
“I don’t know how to dance.”
“You don’t know how to dance?” Cara repeated incredulously. “Everyone knows how to dance.” She crossed the room to Kahlan’s pallet and held her arms out, “Come on, I’ll teach you how.”
Kahlan stared at her, unsure what to do. Cara wiggled her fingers expectantly and finally rolled her eyes and reached down to pull Kahlan to her feet. She wrapped one arm around Kahlan’s waist and put Kahlan’s hand on her shoulder before taking the other and leading her through a simple dance step.
Cara was holding most of Kahlan’s weight, but Kahlan shuffled her feet and tried to follow Cara’s lead anyway. After a few minutes she gave up and dropped her head to Cara’s shoulder and gave in to being carried around the room. Cara was humming a tune into her ear and Kahlan giggled at the ticklish sensation; she felt Cara smile in response and hum a little louder. Kahlan let go of Cara’s hand and looped it around her neck, joining the other one on Cara’s back, and feeling the strength there. Cara’s hand rejoined its fellow on Kahlan’s waist and took a little more of her weight.
Kahlan would have been content to stay like that forever but soon enough Cara carried her back over to the bed so she could sit down again. She stood before Kahlan with an unreadable expression on her face. She raised a hand to brush a strand of hair out of Kahlan’s eyes and Kahlan held herself still, hardly daring to move.
“And now you know.” She met Kahlan’s eyes and swallowed, “Confessor.”
***
Kahlan glanced through the window for the fourth time and bit her lip. Where was she? She checked the stew was still bubbling away happily and then paced around the cottage carefully. Cara had spent a lot of time out of the house recently and every time she did Kahlan had been on her feet working to build her strength, though she hadn’t left the house in case anyone had seen her and reported what she was doing to Cara. She wanted this to be a surprise.
Finally she heard Cara’s steps on the path outside and grinned before hastening over to the hearth and standing up straight. Cara stopped dead at the sight of her and a joyful grin broke out over her face. Kahlan beamed back at her and dipped a little curtsy.
Cara’s mouth opened and closed several times but no words came out. She dropped the pack she’d been carrying by the door and crossed the room in a few quick strides. She took Kahlan into her arms and spun her around giddily. Kahlan giggled and held on tightly, pressing her face into Cara’s neck. They stopped spinning and broke apart, staring at each other and breathing hard. Cara’s arms were still around her waist.
“Oh Kahlan.” Cara didn’t seem to know what to say. She floundered for a moment and then darted forward and pressed her lips against Kahlan’s before pulling back. Cara’s eyes were wide, as though she couldn’t believe what she’d just done. “Kahlan,” she said again. It took Kahlan a moment to realise why her name sounded so strange on Cara’s lips and then it came to her: it was the first time Cara had called her by her name and not her title.
The silence stretched until Kahlan swallowed hard and pulled Cara closer until their lips met again hungrily. It seemed the most natural thing in the world to be kissing Cara and Kahlan gave in to the feeling of Cara’s lips on her hers, the feeling of Cara’s tongue pressing into her mouth. Cara’s hand snaked up into her hair, tangling into the dark waves as though it belonged there and Kahlan cupped Cara’s face in her palm, stroking her thumb across the planes of Cara’s face as she deepened the kiss.
When they broke apart Kahlan’s legs were shaky again, only she knew now it wasn’t from the effort of standing up.
Cara stared at her as though she couldn’t believe what had just happened, but Kahlan could read the happiness in her eyes and she grinned into Cara’s mouth as she leaned in to kiss her again. Cara returned the kiss more chastely this time, and then pulled back to look at the Confessor. She seemed to pull herself together for a moment before she said, “I’ve got a surprise for you.”
Kahlan rested her forehead against the blond woman’s, “You have?”
Cara flashed a quick smile and pulled away from the Confessor. She crossed the room and rummaged in the pack she’d left by the door. Kahlan came up behind her and tried to look over her shoulder but Cara shielded the present from view. Kahlan huffed and Cara laughed before she stood and presented Kahlan with a cloth covered package.
Kahlan unwrapped it slowly, savouring the happy feeling fluttering low in her belly. When she saw the contents her face lit up. “Oh Cara.”
As Cara watched, Kahlan lifted her Confessor’s dress and examined it closely. Cara knew the dress was as perfect as the day Kahlan had been given it. She’d spent lots of anxious moments peering over the seamstress’ shoulder as she worked at repairing the damage the arrow had done and getting the bloodstains out.
Cara was surprised to see tears in Kahlan’s eyes. “It’s beautiful, thank you.”
Cara returned the smile, and raised a hand to wipe the tears from Kahlan’s cheek. “I thought you’d need it back,” she paused and her smile became sadder, “For when you leave.”
The world suddenly came crashing down around Kahlan. “When I leave?” She repeated the words faintly. Somehow she’d never thought there would be a time when she wouldn’t be with Cara. The outside world had retreated in the last few months until her entire world had focussed on Cara and getting better. Her happiness of a moment before suddenly evaporated and the kiss they’d shared seemed a distant memory.
“Don’t you need to find your sister? And the Seeker?” Cara was looking away and trying to hide behind her hair but Kahlan could see the pained expression on her face. She went on in a whisper, eyes downcast, “You don’t belong with me.”
Dennee. Somehow Kahlan hadn’t thought of her sister for weeks. Or the Seeker. Or her mission. She stared at the brilliant white of her Confessor’s dress and then down at the simple blue dress she’d found shoved at the bottom of Cara’s clothes chest. She suddenly felt foolish in the blue dress, as though she was a child playing at dressing up. Of course she had to leave. She wasn’t Kahlan, she was a Confessor and Confessors had a duty to uphold. She suddenly heard again every time Cara had used her title to address her and realised what a fool she’d been. Confessors didn’t fall in love or get happy endings. It’d been an easy fact to forget in the months she’d spent convalescing at Cara’s house.
Cara was looking at her, still expecting an answer. Kahlan looked down at the dress in her hands again. “A week,” she whispered, “I’ll leave in a week.”
***
Kahlan ran a hand over the hilt of her dagger, slowly reacquainting herself with its touch. She lifted one and measured its weight, then lifted her eyes to her opponent and grinned. She assumed a defensive stance and blocked his first swing before stepping inside his second and returning the blow. He dodged and came at her again. Kahlan watched him carefully and matched him blow for blow, waiting for an opening. It brought back memories of her training in Aydindril and she remembered the way she and Dennee would fight as one entity, defeating all comers.
Cara stood and watched, occasionally shouting out advice or telling them to go easy. She’d paired Kahlan with David because he was one of her best fighters and she wanted to see what Kahlan was capable of. She’d sworn to herself that if Kahlan could beat David then Kahlan could leave and she wouldn’t stand in her way. She didn’t know what she would do if David won, or how she would get Kahlan to stay. She pushed the thought away quickly; she refused to think of Kahlan staying for more than a few moments. She’d been doing nothing but reminding herself that Kahlan had to leave for the last month.
It hadn’t been enough to stop her from kissing Kahlan though, and it hadn’t helped at all when Kahlan had kissed her back.
They continued to spar until Kahlan feinted to the left before using the momentum to change direction and deliver the killing blow to the man before her. The cloth wrapping round her dagger muffled the blade but he still went down winded. Kahlan grinned and offered him a hand up.
Cara hesitated for a moment then grabbed two daggers from the rack and stepped over to Kahlan, “Fight me.”
Kahlan raised her daggers again and grinned, “I’ll go easy on you.” The words were barely out of her mouth before Cara swung at her head viciously. Kahlan ducked, her expression changing to one of shock as she did so. “Cara?”
Cara continued to rain blows on Kahlan, forcing her to give ground and retreat. Behind them, Cara’s men had started to murmur among themselves, wondering what was going on. Cara just swung again. Kahlan blocked and got in a few attacks that Cara easily turned aside. She took another step backwards, “Cara?”
They stood staring at each other for a moment before Cara launched another furious attack on Kahlan. Kahlan had no idea what was wrong with the blond woman. She gave up trying to fight back and simply blocked each attack as it came. Finally Cara swung and connected with the side of Kahlan’s head and Kahlan dropped to one knee, shaking her head to clear it. Cara came at her again and Kahlan threw her hand up to grip Cara’s throat without thinking. She felt her power lurking below her skin. “Cara, stop it!”
Cara froze and closed her eyes, the hint of a smile on her face. “Yes, Confessor,” Kahlan loosened her grip. Her title had never sounded so much like a curse. Cara turned and fled without a word.
***
Kahlan woke to the sounds of someone entering the house before dawn. She tensed and reached for one of her daggers. Cara spoke before she reached it.
“Don’t go.”
Cara was suddenly at the side of the bed, her face hidden by the darkness. “Don’t go. Stay.” Her voice was clouded by emotion and Kahlan heard her swallow before she went on, “...With me.” Cara’s hand found hers in the dark and gripped hard. Her next words were a rush, “You can join us and fight. You’ll still be doing your duty just in a different way. The Seeker already has one Confessor. He doesn’t need you too.”
Kahlan tried to speak past the lump in her throat but found she couldn’t so she pulled Cara to her and kissed her hard, trying to convey the meaning she couldn’t give her in words. Cara kissed her back fiercely, collapsing onto the bed as she did so. She tugged at Kahlan’s hip until they were lying flush against each other and wound her free hand in Kahlan’s dark hair. When they broke apart Cara pressed her forehead against Kahlan’s in the darkness. “Don’t go,” she whispered it again, over and over between kisses, like a prayer.
Kahlan ran her hands up Cara’s back under her shirt and felt the strength there before pulling it off over Cara’s head. She refused to think as she pulled back slightly to drink in the sight of the blond woman above her. Cara was beautiful, and the way she was looking back at her, eyes dark with desire, made Kahlan giddy. Kahlan hesitated for a moment and then trailed a hand over Cara’s breast experimentally and felt Cara tremble above her. She did it again and Cara suddenly kissed her harder and slid a hand down the Confessor’s body and under her shift. Kahlan moaned into Cara’s mouth and flipped them over so she was straddling Cara’s hips. She held Cara’s gaze as she pulled her shift over her head and saw Cara’s hungry eyes sweep over her naked body. Kahlan felt an answering twitch between her legs.
Kahlan nipped at Cara’s neck playfully and moved a hand to the belt at Cara’s waist and tugged. Cara took the hint and Kahlan rolled off her so she could stand up to remove her trousers. She fumbled with the laces a little in her haste and then stepped out of them, before sinking down on top of Kahlan again. Cara’s hands were roaming over Kahlan’s body and it was making it hard to think, but Kahlan knew there was something important that she had to tell the other woman.
“Cara.”
“Hmm?” Cara continued to plant kisses along Kahlan’s throat and then lower towards her breasts. Kahlan gasped and arched her back into the touch as Cara’s tongue flicked over one nipple before moving on to the other.
“Cara,” she was more insistent this time and Cara finally looked up. Kahlan pushed Cara up in a sitting position, trying to gain a moment to think.
Cara sat straddling her hips then pulled Kahlan up with her and wrapped a strong arm around her back. She met Kahlan’s eyes tenderly. “What’s wrong?”
“I can’t... I mean...” Kahlan paused and tried to start again. She ignored Cara’s hand on her hip. “My power. I can’t control it when...”
Cara’s eyes widened, suddenly realising what Kahlan was trying to tell her. “You’ll confess me?”
Kahlan looked away and nodded. After a moment, Cara brought a hand to the side of Kahlan’s face and turned the Confessor back to face her. “Your power is in your hands?”
Kahlan thought about it then met her eyes, “I-I think so.” She said finally. “I have to touch someone to confess them.” She bit her lip, worry etched onto her face.
Cara grinned, and leaned in to kiss the Confessor again. She broke the kiss and pushed Kahlan onto her back, “Keep your hands up here,” she pointed to the space above Kahlan’s head, “OK?” Kahlan nodded, eyes wide, and Cara grinned before planting a trail of kisses down Kahlan’s body.
Cara was disappearing lower and lower and Kahlan gasped when she felt Cara’s tongue between her legs, exactly where she needed it most. Cara quickly settled into a rhythm and Kahlan had to concentrate to keep her hands from grabbing the top of Cara’s head and pressing her down harder. Kahlan gasped again when Cara pressed one finger and then another inside her and she began bucking her hips in time with Cara’s tongue. She heard Cara hum happily and moaned at the way it caused Cara’s tongue to vibrate against her. Kahlan felt the pressure building within her and pressed her hands together above her head, as far away from Cara as she could get them.
She tumbled over the edge calling Cara’s name, and felt her power slam out of her. Cara continued to lap at her, though more slowly now, and for one awful second Kahlan wondered if she’d accidentally confessed the other woman before Cara pressed one last kiss between Kahlan’s legs and worked her way back up Kahlan’s body, kissing and sucking as she went.
Cara grinned as she reappeared; it quickly turned to a smirk at the look on Kahlan’s face, “’Told you that would work.”
Kahlan smiled shakily in response and pulled Cara closer. She cut off Cara’s next words with a kiss.
Cara responded at once, pressing her tongue into Kahlan’s mouth and settling above the Confessor once more. Kahlan deepened the kiss and used her weight to flip them over so that she was on top of Cara. She felt Cara grin into her mouth, and she bit Cara’s lip in response; she was sure Cara grinned harder.
Cara gasped when Kahlan’s hand found its way to the slickness between her legs and began to move. She threw her arm over Kahlan’s shoulder and held them together as Kahlan worked at finding Cara’s release.
***
Kahlan woke up with Cara wrapped round her like a protective shell, and she wasn’t sure if the blond woman was trying to protect her from the world or keep the world from reaching her. Cara’s arms tightened around her as she came awake, and she pressed her face into Kahlan’s neck, kissing the bare skin there. “Morning, Confessor.”
Kahlan allowed herself to savour the feel of Cara’s arms around her for a moment before she turned around to face the other woman.
The smile faded from Cara’s face almost immediately. She took in the serious expression on the Confessor’s face and visibly deflated. “You’re still leaving.”
It wasn’t a question so Kahlan didn’t offer an answer. “I need to find my sister. I need to tell her I’m alive.”
Cara climbed out of the bed as though she’d been burned and reached for her clothes on the floor. Kahlan watched her pull the white shirt over her head and tug the breeches up her thighs, trying to make her throat work around the lump in it. Cara was too quick for her; she crossed the room and then disappeared through the doorway without a word.
“...and then I’ll come back.” Kahlan spoke the words to an empty room.
***
Kahlan checked the bindings on her pack again, as though they might have come undone since she last looked. She reached down and pulled her dagger half out of her boot before re-sheathing it and straightening again. She had everything she needed so why did it feel like something was missing? Her eyes lifted to the woman across the room. Cara stood stiffly by the hearth with her arms wrapped round her middle, hugging herself. She looked smaller than Kahlan had ever seen her.
“I’ll come back,” Kahlan had tried to tell Cara that she’d return after she’d seen her sister but she wasn’t sure if the other woman believed her.
Cara’s expression remained unchanged. She stared at the floor hard, her eyes far away. Kahlan watched as she came back to herself and finally looked up, “I-I’ll miss you, Confessor.”
Kahlan wasn’t sure who moved first but she was suddenly in Cara’s arms, kissing her as though it was the last time. When they pulled back Kahlan felt tears on her cheeks. She pressed her forehead against Cara’s, “I’ll come back.” She kissed her again quickly. “I’ll come back.”
“I’ll be waiting.”
***
Cara woke with a shout from the familiar nightmare. She untangled the sheets from her sweaty body and rolled onto her back, panting as though she’d run a race. She hadn’t dreamt of the day Dahlia had been taken for over a year and she wondered that it should resurface now.
Kahlan had been gone for three days.
Dahlia was the reason she’d joined the Resistance. At first it has been out of a desire to rescue her friend but then she realised exactly what Rahl’s empire suffered on people and she began to fight in earnest. She’d moved around a lot then, tracking groups of Mord’Sith in an attempt to find Dahlia. She’d been brought to the healers in the village after a Mord’Sith had broken her arm with an agiel and stayed there ever since, leading the war effort.
She shook her head to clear the memories. She hadn’t thought of Dahlia in a long time. Dahlia had been taken because she’d been too scared to step out of the shadows and go in her place. Cara had long since promised herself that she would never let it happen again. She had become the fiercest fighter, throwing herself into the Resistance efforts and never letting her men go where she wouldn’t. She had become a leader that people respected. She wasn’t the same scared little girl who had let her friend go in her place that day. She ignored the traitorous thought that always lurked at the back of her mind whenever she thought of Dahlia, She told you to stay.
Her eyes widened as the evil thought became more insistent and the realisation hit her: Dahlia had told her to stay.
She suddenly jumped out of bed and quickly got dressed, throwing travelling supplies into a pack as she did so. She strapped her sword on and hefted the pack onto her back.
Dahlia had told her to stay but Kahlan hadn’t.
( Part Three)
Author: stopstartstall
Pairing: Cara/Kahlan.
Rating: NC-17
Word Count: ~5700
Summary: When Zedd casts the Spell of Undoing it throws them back to the day Cara should have been taken by the Mord’Sith. AU from that point on.
Previous: Part One.
“I want to feed myself,” Kahlan’s words were shy at first then she spoke again a little more insistently, “I want to try to feed myself.” She’d managed to sit up for the first time that morning and once the dizziness had passed she had resolved to stop letting the other woman treat her like an invalid.
Cara nodded encouragingly and turned the bowl so the spoon was facing towards the Confessor. Slowly, Kahlan reached for it with her good arm and Cara saw the effort it cost her not to wince at the faint tug of pain in her opposite shoulder.
Kahlan carefully wrapped her fingers around the spoon handle and raised it to her mouth. She ate slowly, in silence, and by the end her arm was trembling with the effort after nearly two weeks of disuse. Cara didn’t hurry her or try to take over; she knew the Confessor’s pride wouldn’t allow it.
Finally Kahlan said she’d had enough and though she didn’t say anything, Cara was sure she was a little disappointed at the effort it had cost her to do something so simple as eat. When Cara returned from cleaning the bowl, Kahlan had turned towards the wall and clearly didn’t want to talk.
Cara watched her for a long moment before ducking under the curtain she had hung between the rooms of the cottage to give Kahlan some privacy and settling down on the bedroll she had spread on the floor. She lay on her back and stared at the ceiling, thinking hard.
***
Sometimes Cara would disappear for hours at a time, telling Kahlan she had to visit someone or lend her back to a neighbour’s efforts to rebuild their house. Kahlan knew she was actually attending to Resistance business, and had gathered that Cara was something of a leader among the freedom fighters.
Each time she disappeared, Kahlan would stare around the little cottage and try to reconcile the contents with what she knew of Cara. The woman fascinated her. She’d never met someone who behaved as if she couldn’t touch them at any moment and steal their life from them.
Being in Cara’s house and seeing the way Cara looked at her made Kahlan feel like a normal woman. She didn’t realise how much she hated the way people treated her until she was alone with someone who didn’t walk on eggshells around her.
Cara burst through the door later with two freshly skinned rabbits slung over her shoulder and immediately crossed the room to peer at Kahlan’s healing wound. She leaned forward and dropped a hand to Kahlan’s good shoulder to steady herself as her eyes examined the area for any changes. Finally satisfied, she stood again, squeezing Kahlan’s uninjured shoulder before turning to the hearth and asking Kahlan if she liked rabbit stew.
Kahlan felt the touch linger long after Cara had gone.
***
Kahlan blushed and turned away as Cara carefully cleaned her shoulder and applied the sticky unguent to the angry wound. Her other arm clutched her shift to her chest shyly though she had recently realised that Cara had probably already seen her naked torso while the healer and surgeon were working on her. The thought made her blush more.
Cara’s fingers were sure and the unguent was comfortingly cool against her flushed skin as she slowly spread it around the healing wound. Kahlan closed her eyes and sighed gently.
“Good?”
Kahlan nodded and opened her eyes to meet Cara’s. “Thank you.”
Cara looked away and Kahlan knew she had caught the full meaning behind her words. “You’re welcome, Confessor.”
***
“Aren’t you married?” The words spilled out of Kahlan’s mouth before she could stop them and she realised how harsh and accusatory they sounded the minute she’d spoken them. “I just... I mean... You’re an attractive woman,” Kahlan blushed furiously, “You could have any man you wanted.”
Cara just smiled a crooked smile from her place by the hearth, clearly amused, and shook her head. “Why thank you, Confessor, you’re not so bad yourself.” She smirked when Kahlan contrived to go even redder.
After a moment Cara met her eyes shyly and spoke again, “Do you have... a mate?
Kahlan’s eyes widened in surprise, “No! I mean, I haven’t got... I don’t... No.”
Cara’s grin faded and was immediately replaced by a look of horror. Kahlan wasn’t sure how but the mood had suddenly changed between them. “Sorry, I didn’t mean to make you uncomfortable...” Cara stood up abruptly and looked anywhere but at Kahlan. “I’m going to bed. Good night.” Without another word Cara padded through to the little room at the back of the cottage and disappeared from Kahlan’s view.
Kahlan stared after her for a long time.
***
“You’re going to have to move eventually you know.” Cara was sitting with her feet up by the hearth, idly carving at a branch with her belt knife.
Kahlan ignored her.
Cara put aside her carving and stood, pulling her chair with her. “You’re taking up my only bed and I’ve had quite enough of it.” Her chair was close to the pallet now, and she resumed her seat, putting her feet up onto the bed beside Kahlan. “Move, Confessor!” She tapped Kahlan playfully with her foot and looked at her expectantly.
Kahlan still couldn’t believe the things this woman dared to say to her.
She felt a smile tugging at the corner of her mouth and turned her head away so Cara wouldn’t see. It took her a moment to realise that she could feel the muscles pulling but the pain had gone and she whipped her head back around to stare at Cara in surprise. “That didn’t hurt!” She moved her head from side to side experimentally and then grinned at Cara again.
Cara just quirked an eyebrow at her and nudged her with her feet again, “Does this mean I can have my bed back?”
***
Kahlan took a deep breath and stared down at her feet, they looked smaller and more pitiful than she remembered. She was sitting on the edge of the bed, trying to find the will to stand up unaided for the first time since she had come to Cara’s house. Cara had made her a rough crutch that she used to get around when she absolutely had to, but her injured leg had trembled beneath her and she’s always been terrified that she was going to fall. The healer had seen her the day before and declared her bones mended, now all she had to do was stand up. She swallowed nervously and looked down at her feet again.
“Come on, Confessor. I have things to do today,” Cara’s face was playful despite her words and she took a step closer to the bed. “I’ll catch you if you fall.”
Kahlan closed her eyes for a moment and offered a silent prayer to the Spirits before shuffling closer to the edge of the pallet. Her feet hit the floor and she pushed up with her arms, feeling her wounded shoulder protest faintly at the action.
Cara stepped even closer, so close that they were almost touching and held her arms ready in case Kahlan needed her. Kahlan felt a slight blush colour her cheeks at the woman’s proximity and she looked away, trying to ignore the wave of dizziness she felt as she did so.
When she looked back, Cara’s grin threatened to split her face in two, “You’re standing up!”
Kahlan returned the smile until she felt her legs trembling. She swayed once and then her legs gave way under her. She immediately felt Cara’s strong arms wrap around her and sank into them dejectedly. Her head fell to Cara’s shoulder and she exhaled sharply. She didn’t need to say anything for Cara to know what she was thinking.
“It’ll get easier. You need to build up your strength.” Cara gently lowered Kahlan back onto the pallet and Kahlan felt the loss of contact like a hammer blow.
She reached for Cara’s hand. “What if my legs don’t work?”
Cara shook her head, “They will, Confessor, I’ve seen this happen to wounded soldiers before.”
“But what if they don’t?” Kahlan demanded. She was scared now. All this time she’d been concentrating on the pain in her shoulder when really she should have been paying attention to her legs and now they didn’t work. She huffed in frustration.
Cara rolled her eyes, “Then you’ll stay on that pallet forever and I’ll make you rabbit stew.”
Her voice let Kahlan know this wouldn’t be an entirely bad thing.
***
Cara grabbed her sword and ran out into the village the second they heard the alarm bells ringing. Kahlan was alone for a moment before a man from the Resistance - Kahlan couldn’t remember his name though Cara had introduced them before - stepped inside the room and took up a defensive position by the door. Kahlan was grateful; she had her daggers next to her and she could take a dozen shaky steps now but she’d be no match for anyone that tried to kill her.
She sat on the bed and listened to the sounds of fighting carried over from the far side of the village, wondering what was happening. She held her breath each time she heard someone cry out in pain, praying that it wasn’t Cara. Finally, after what seemed like an age, the sounds faded and Kahlan waited anxiously for Cara to return. When she did Kahlan couldn’t help the little gasp that escaped her. She scooted over to the edge of the bed, trying to get as close to Cara as she possibly could. She didn’t trust her legs enough to try to stand.
One of Cara’s men had an arm slung around her shoulder, supporting her. She had a cut on one arm and the other was holding her head as though it was about to come off.
“Cara? What happened?” Even from the bed Kahlan was a commanding force, and the men reported to her as though she had a right to ask.
“D’Harans, Confessor. Cara took a blow to the back of the head and she’s a little dizzy.”
“I’m fine!” Cara interrupted. She pushed the man off her and took a step, swaying slightly as she did so. She grabbed a nearby chair for support. “I’m fine,” she said again, though no one believed her.
“I’ll make sure she’s OK,” Kahlan had a feeling Cara didn’t want to show weakness in front of her men. “You can go.”
They both nodded a salute and departed, leaving them alone. Cara and Kahlan stared at each other for a long moment before Kahlan shifted over in the pallet and patted the space beside her, “Come here.”
“Why?” Cara seemed to take a step towards her against her will and she stopped for a moment before taking another.
“You’ve got a head wound,” Kahlan patted the space beside her again and Cara’s eyes darted to it. She licked the corner of her mouth and took another step.
“I’ll be fine,” Cara was almost at the pallet now so Kahlan grabbed her hand and pulled. Cara tumbled onto the bed.
“I need to keep an eye on you.”
Cara met her eyes helplessly then looked away towards the curtain that separated their rooms as though she was thinking of making a run for it. Kahlan pushed at Cara’s shoulder until the other woman lay down and then sank down beside her. Cara lay tensely at Kahlan’s side and Kahlan couldn’t help thinking how it seemed like she was still ready for battle.
The silence stretched between them until Cara spoke again softly, “I really am fine, Confessor.”
Kahlan propped herself up on one elbow and met the blond’s eyes, “I was worried about you.” She looked away and inhaled slowly, steadying herself. “Just stay with me tonight?” When Kahlan looked over at Cara again the blond had closed her eyes, and there was a faint hint of a smile on her lips.
When Kahlan woke up in the morning she was wrapped protectively around Cara, one arm draped around the other woman’s waist and her face pressed into her blond hair. Cara, for her part, had her hand on top of Kahlan’s arm, and their fingers were laced together loosely. Cara murmured something drowsily and let go of Kahlan’s hand to turn and face the Confessor. Kahlan gently traced a finger down Cara’s cheek and then tucked a stray strand of blond hair behind her ear. She had never been so close to another person before. She stared in wonder that the other woman trusted her so much that she would sleep in her arms.
Finally Cara yawned and opened her eyes without a trace of embarrassment. She smiled, “Morning, Confessor.”
Kahlan blushed and looked away, untangling herself as she did so. “Morning,” she whispered.
***
Kahlan held her arms out to steady herself as she took another couple of steps. Cara was next to her with one hand at Kahlan’s side in case she needed extra support. Kahlan had completed three loops of the cottage alone and now she returned to sit on the edge of her pallet and stretch her legs.
“You’ll be dancing in no time,” Cara crossed to the little window and looked out into the night air, listening to the tavern music that drifted to them through the village with a far away expression on her face.
Kahlan didn’t say anything for a minute and Cara turned to look at her and caught the embarrassed expression on her face, “What’s wrong?”
“I don’t know how to dance.”
“You don’t know how to dance?” Cara repeated incredulously. “Everyone knows how to dance.” She crossed the room to Kahlan’s pallet and held her arms out, “Come on, I’ll teach you how.”
Kahlan stared at her, unsure what to do. Cara wiggled her fingers expectantly and finally rolled her eyes and reached down to pull Kahlan to her feet. She wrapped one arm around Kahlan’s waist and put Kahlan’s hand on her shoulder before taking the other and leading her through a simple dance step.
Cara was holding most of Kahlan’s weight, but Kahlan shuffled her feet and tried to follow Cara’s lead anyway. After a few minutes she gave up and dropped her head to Cara’s shoulder and gave in to being carried around the room. Cara was humming a tune into her ear and Kahlan giggled at the ticklish sensation; she felt Cara smile in response and hum a little louder. Kahlan let go of Cara’s hand and looped it around her neck, joining the other one on Cara’s back, and feeling the strength there. Cara’s hand rejoined its fellow on Kahlan’s waist and took a little more of her weight.
Kahlan would have been content to stay like that forever but soon enough Cara carried her back over to the bed so she could sit down again. She stood before Kahlan with an unreadable expression on her face. She raised a hand to brush a strand of hair out of Kahlan’s eyes and Kahlan held herself still, hardly daring to move.
“And now you know.” She met Kahlan’s eyes and swallowed, “Confessor.”
***
Kahlan glanced through the window for the fourth time and bit her lip. Where was she? She checked the stew was still bubbling away happily and then paced around the cottage carefully. Cara had spent a lot of time out of the house recently and every time she did Kahlan had been on her feet working to build her strength, though she hadn’t left the house in case anyone had seen her and reported what she was doing to Cara. She wanted this to be a surprise.
Finally she heard Cara’s steps on the path outside and grinned before hastening over to the hearth and standing up straight. Cara stopped dead at the sight of her and a joyful grin broke out over her face. Kahlan beamed back at her and dipped a little curtsy.
Cara’s mouth opened and closed several times but no words came out. She dropped the pack she’d been carrying by the door and crossed the room in a few quick strides. She took Kahlan into her arms and spun her around giddily. Kahlan giggled and held on tightly, pressing her face into Cara’s neck. They stopped spinning and broke apart, staring at each other and breathing hard. Cara’s arms were still around her waist.
“Oh Kahlan.” Cara didn’t seem to know what to say. She floundered for a moment and then darted forward and pressed her lips against Kahlan’s before pulling back. Cara’s eyes were wide, as though she couldn’t believe what she’d just done. “Kahlan,” she said again. It took Kahlan a moment to realise why her name sounded so strange on Cara’s lips and then it came to her: it was the first time Cara had called her by her name and not her title.
The silence stretched until Kahlan swallowed hard and pulled Cara closer until their lips met again hungrily. It seemed the most natural thing in the world to be kissing Cara and Kahlan gave in to the feeling of Cara’s lips on her hers, the feeling of Cara’s tongue pressing into her mouth. Cara’s hand snaked up into her hair, tangling into the dark waves as though it belonged there and Kahlan cupped Cara’s face in her palm, stroking her thumb across the planes of Cara’s face as she deepened the kiss.
When they broke apart Kahlan’s legs were shaky again, only she knew now it wasn’t from the effort of standing up.
Cara stared at her as though she couldn’t believe what had just happened, but Kahlan could read the happiness in her eyes and she grinned into Cara’s mouth as she leaned in to kiss her again. Cara returned the kiss more chastely this time, and then pulled back to look at the Confessor. She seemed to pull herself together for a moment before she said, “I’ve got a surprise for you.”
Kahlan rested her forehead against the blond woman’s, “You have?”
Cara flashed a quick smile and pulled away from the Confessor. She crossed the room and rummaged in the pack she’d left by the door. Kahlan came up behind her and tried to look over her shoulder but Cara shielded the present from view. Kahlan huffed and Cara laughed before she stood and presented Kahlan with a cloth covered package.
Kahlan unwrapped it slowly, savouring the happy feeling fluttering low in her belly. When she saw the contents her face lit up. “Oh Cara.”
As Cara watched, Kahlan lifted her Confessor’s dress and examined it closely. Cara knew the dress was as perfect as the day Kahlan had been given it. She’d spent lots of anxious moments peering over the seamstress’ shoulder as she worked at repairing the damage the arrow had done and getting the bloodstains out.
Cara was surprised to see tears in Kahlan’s eyes. “It’s beautiful, thank you.”
Cara returned the smile, and raised a hand to wipe the tears from Kahlan’s cheek. “I thought you’d need it back,” she paused and her smile became sadder, “For when you leave.”
The world suddenly came crashing down around Kahlan. “When I leave?” She repeated the words faintly. Somehow she’d never thought there would be a time when she wouldn’t be with Cara. The outside world had retreated in the last few months until her entire world had focussed on Cara and getting better. Her happiness of a moment before suddenly evaporated and the kiss they’d shared seemed a distant memory.
“Don’t you need to find your sister? And the Seeker?” Cara was looking away and trying to hide behind her hair but Kahlan could see the pained expression on her face. She went on in a whisper, eyes downcast, “You don’t belong with me.”
Dennee. Somehow Kahlan hadn’t thought of her sister for weeks. Or the Seeker. Or her mission. She stared at the brilliant white of her Confessor’s dress and then down at the simple blue dress she’d found shoved at the bottom of Cara’s clothes chest. She suddenly felt foolish in the blue dress, as though she was a child playing at dressing up. Of course she had to leave. She wasn’t Kahlan, she was a Confessor and Confessors had a duty to uphold. She suddenly heard again every time Cara had used her title to address her and realised what a fool she’d been. Confessors didn’t fall in love or get happy endings. It’d been an easy fact to forget in the months she’d spent convalescing at Cara’s house.
Cara was looking at her, still expecting an answer. Kahlan looked down at the dress in her hands again. “A week,” she whispered, “I’ll leave in a week.”
***
Kahlan ran a hand over the hilt of her dagger, slowly reacquainting herself with its touch. She lifted one and measured its weight, then lifted her eyes to her opponent and grinned. She assumed a defensive stance and blocked his first swing before stepping inside his second and returning the blow. He dodged and came at her again. Kahlan watched him carefully and matched him blow for blow, waiting for an opening. It brought back memories of her training in Aydindril and she remembered the way she and Dennee would fight as one entity, defeating all comers.
Cara stood and watched, occasionally shouting out advice or telling them to go easy. She’d paired Kahlan with David because he was one of her best fighters and she wanted to see what Kahlan was capable of. She’d sworn to herself that if Kahlan could beat David then Kahlan could leave and she wouldn’t stand in her way. She didn’t know what she would do if David won, or how she would get Kahlan to stay. She pushed the thought away quickly; she refused to think of Kahlan staying for more than a few moments. She’d been doing nothing but reminding herself that Kahlan had to leave for the last month.
It hadn’t been enough to stop her from kissing Kahlan though, and it hadn’t helped at all when Kahlan had kissed her back.
They continued to spar until Kahlan feinted to the left before using the momentum to change direction and deliver the killing blow to the man before her. The cloth wrapping round her dagger muffled the blade but he still went down winded. Kahlan grinned and offered him a hand up.
Cara hesitated for a moment then grabbed two daggers from the rack and stepped over to Kahlan, “Fight me.”
Kahlan raised her daggers again and grinned, “I’ll go easy on you.” The words were barely out of her mouth before Cara swung at her head viciously. Kahlan ducked, her expression changing to one of shock as she did so. “Cara?”
Cara continued to rain blows on Kahlan, forcing her to give ground and retreat. Behind them, Cara’s men had started to murmur among themselves, wondering what was going on. Cara just swung again. Kahlan blocked and got in a few attacks that Cara easily turned aside. She took another step backwards, “Cara?”
They stood staring at each other for a moment before Cara launched another furious attack on Kahlan. Kahlan had no idea what was wrong with the blond woman. She gave up trying to fight back and simply blocked each attack as it came. Finally Cara swung and connected with the side of Kahlan’s head and Kahlan dropped to one knee, shaking her head to clear it. Cara came at her again and Kahlan threw her hand up to grip Cara’s throat without thinking. She felt her power lurking below her skin. “Cara, stop it!”
Cara froze and closed her eyes, the hint of a smile on her face. “Yes, Confessor,” Kahlan loosened her grip. Her title had never sounded so much like a curse. Cara turned and fled without a word.
***
Kahlan woke to the sounds of someone entering the house before dawn. She tensed and reached for one of her daggers. Cara spoke before she reached it.
“Don’t go.”
Cara was suddenly at the side of the bed, her face hidden by the darkness. “Don’t go. Stay.” Her voice was clouded by emotion and Kahlan heard her swallow before she went on, “...With me.” Cara’s hand found hers in the dark and gripped hard. Her next words were a rush, “You can join us and fight. You’ll still be doing your duty just in a different way. The Seeker already has one Confessor. He doesn’t need you too.”
Kahlan tried to speak past the lump in her throat but found she couldn’t so she pulled Cara to her and kissed her hard, trying to convey the meaning she couldn’t give her in words. Cara kissed her back fiercely, collapsing onto the bed as she did so. She tugged at Kahlan’s hip until they were lying flush against each other and wound her free hand in Kahlan’s dark hair. When they broke apart Cara pressed her forehead against Kahlan’s in the darkness. “Don’t go,” she whispered it again, over and over between kisses, like a prayer.
Kahlan ran her hands up Cara’s back under her shirt and felt the strength there before pulling it off over Cara’s head. She refused to think as she pulled back slightly to drink in the sight of the blond woman above her. Cara was beautiful, and the way she was looking back at her, eyes dark with desire, made Kahlan giddy. Kahlan hesitated for a moment and then trailed a hand over Cara’s breast experimentally and felt Cara tremble above her. She did it again and Cara suddenly kissed her harder and slid a hand down the Confessor’s body and under her shift. Kahlan moaned into Cara’s mouth and flipped them over so she was straddling Cara’s hips. She held Cara’s gaze as she pulled her shift over her head and saw Cara’s hungry eyes sweep over her naked body. Kahlan felt an answering twitch between her legs.
Kahlan nipped at Cara’s neck playfully and moved a hand to the belt at Cara’s waist and tugged. Cara took the hint and Kahlan rolled off her so she could stand up to remove her trousers. She fumbled with the laces a little in her haste and then stepped out of them, before sinking down on top of Kahlan again. Cara’s hands were roaming over Kahlan’s body and it was making it hard to think, but Kahlan knew there was something important that she had to tell the other woman.
“Cara.”
“Hmm?” Cara continued to plant kisses along Kahlan’s throat and then lower towards her breasts. Kahlan gasped and arched her back into the touch as Cara’s tongue flicked over one nipple before moving on to the other.
“Cara,” she was more insistent this time and Cara finally looked up. Kahlan pushed Cara up in a sitting position, trying to gain a moment to think.
Cara sat straddling her hips then pulled Kahlan up with her and wrapped a strong arm around her back. She met Kahlan’s eyes tenderly. “What’s wrong?”
“I can’t... I mean...” Kahlan paused and tried to start again. She ignored Cara’s hand on her hip. “My power. I can’t control it when...”
Cara’s eyes widened, suddenly realising what Kahlan was trying to tell her. “You’ll confess me?”
Kahlan looked away and nodded. After a moment, Cara brought a hand to the side of Kahlan’s face and turned the Confessor back to face her. “Your power is in your hands?”
Kahlan thought about it then met her eyes, “I-I think so.” She said finally. “I have to touch someone to confess them.” She bit her lip, worry etched onto her face.
Cara grinned, and leaned in to kiss the Confessor again. She broke the kiss and pushed Kahlan onto her back, “Keep your hands up here,” she pointed to the space above Kahlan’s head, “OK?” Kahlan nodded, eyes wide, and Cara grinned before planting a trail of kisses down Kahlan’s body.
Cara was disappearing lower and lower and Kahlan gasped when she felt Cara’s tongue between her legs, exactly where she needed it most. Cara quickly settled into a rhythm and Kahlan had to concentrate to keep her hands from grabbing the top of Cara’s head and pressing her down harder. Kahlan gasped again when Cara pressed one finger and then another inside her and she began bucking her hips in time with Cara’s tongue. She heard Cara hum happily and moaned at the way it caused Cara’s tongue to vibrate against her. Kahlan felt the pressure building within her and pressed her hands together above her head, as far away from Cara as she could get them.
She tumbled over the edge calling Cara’s name, and felt her power slam out of her. Cara continued to lap at her, though more slowly now, and for one awful second Kahlan wondered if she’d accidentally confessed the other woman before Cara pressed one last kiss between Kahlan’s legs and worked her way back up Kahlan’s body, kissing and sucking as she went.
Cara grinned as she reappeared; it quickly turned to a smirk at the look on Kahlan’s face, “’Told you that would work.”
Kahlan smiled shakily in response and pulled Cara closer. She cut off Cara’s next words with a kiss.
Cara responded at once, pressing her tongue into Kahlan’s mouth and settling above the Confessor once more. Kahlan deepened the kiss and used her weight to flip them over so that she was on top of Cara. She felt Cara grin into her mouth, and she bit Cara’s lip in response; she was sure Cara grinned harder.
Cara gasped when Kahlan’s hand found its way to the slickness between her legs and began to move. She threw her arm over Kahlan’s shoulder and held them together as Kahlan worked at finding Cara’s release.
***
Kahlan woke up with Cara wrapped round her like a protective shell, and she wasn’t sure if the blond woman was trying to protect her from the world or keep the world from reaching her. Cara’s arms tightened around her as she came awake, and she pressed her face into Kahlan’s neck, kissing the bare skin there. “Morning, Confessor.”
Kahlan allowed herself to savour the feel of Cara’s arms around her for a moment before she turned around to face the other woman.
The smile faded from Cara’s face almost immediately. She took in the serious expression on the Confessor’s face and visibly deflated. “You’re still leaving.”
It wasn’t a question so Kahlan didn’t offer an answer. “I need to find my sister. I need to tell her I’m alive.”
Cara climbed out of the bed as though she’d been burned and reached for her clothes on the floor. Kahlan watched her pull the white shirt over her head and tug the breeches up her thighs, trying to make her throat work around the lump in it. Cara was too quick for her; she crossed the room and then disappeared through the doorway without a word.
“...and then I’ll come back.” Kahlan spoke the words to an empty room.
***
Kahlan checked the bindings on her pack again, as though they might have come undone since she last looked. She reached down and pulled her dagger half out of her boot before re-sheathing it and straightening again. She had everything she needed so why did it feel like something was missing? Her eyes lifted to the woman across the room. Cara stood stiffly by the hearth with her arms wrapped round her middle, hugging herself. She looked smaller than Kahlan had ever seen her.
“I’ll come back,” Kahlan had tried to tell Cara that she’d return after she’d seen her sister but she wasn’t sure if the other woman believed her.
Cara’s expression remained unchanged. She stared at the floor hard, her eyes far away. Kahlan watched as she came back to herself and finally looked up, “I-I’ll miss you, Confessor.”
Kahlan wasn’t sure who moved first but she was suddenly in Cara’s arms, kissing her as though it was the last time. When they pulled back Kahlan felt tears on her cheeks. She pressed her forehead against Cara’s, “I’ll come back.” She kissed her again quickly. “I’ll come back.”
“I’ll be waiting.”
***
Cara woke with a shout from the familiar nightmare. She untangled the sheets from her sweaty body and rolled onto her back, panting as though she’d run a race. She hadn’t dreamt of the day Dahlia had been taken for over a year and she wondered that it should resurface now.
Kahlan had been gone for three days.
Dahlia was the reason she’d joined the Resistance. At first it has been out of a desire to rescue her friend but then she realised exactly what Rahl’s empire suffered on people and she began to fight in earnest. She’d moved around a lot then, tracking groups of Mord’Sith in an attempt to find Dahlia. She’d been brought to the healers in the village after a Mord’Sith had broken her arm with an agiel and stayed there ever since, leading the war effort.
She shook her head to clear the memories. She hadn’t thought of Dahlia in a long time. Dahlia had been taken because she’d been too scared to step out of the shadows and go in her place. Cara had long since promised herself that she would never let it happen again. She had become the fiercest fighter, throwing herself into the Resistance efforts and never letting her men go where she wouldn’t. She had become a leader that people respected. She wasn’t the same scared little girl who had let her friend go in her place that day. She ignored the traitorous thought that always lurked at the back of her mind whenever she thought of Dahlia, She told you to stay.
Her eyes widened as the evil thought became more insistent and the realisation hit her: Dahlia had told her to stay.
She suddenly jumped out of bed and quickly got dressed, throwing travelling supplies into a pack as she did so. She strapped her sword on and hefted the pack onto her back.
Dahlia had told her to stay but Kahlan hadn’t.
( Part Three)