My Alien (RayK/Turnbull) R+
Title: My Alien
Author: monroe_nell
rating: C for cracktackular (high R, maybe?)
Pairing: RayK/T'rnb'll
word count: 1992
Author Notes: Because every fandom needs sex pollen. And aliens.
Beta'ed by the lovely akamine_chan.
Prompt: Freshly Mowed Grass
When Ray was ten, he had found himself immersed in a completely different world.
Everything was harsh, gleaming metal calling and beckoning to be touched, but ever too dangerous. There was nothing to see except eternal darkness, broken now and then by stars that didn't even have the decency to twinkle.
He wandered about the ship, not finding it odd that he was allowed to touch the different devices that could have killed him.
After all, it's not everyday that someone is accidentally kidnapped by aliens for three weeks.
~~~
Ray never did find out that the klutzy one nearest his own age developed a keen interest in humans. Or that Ray's alien counter-part would spend the next two developmental stages begging to be allowed to study humans in their natural habitat.
~~~
When Ray was 12, he met the girl of his dreams. She was everything he was not, smart and pretty and confident , and how could he not love her?
He did everything for her, including learning to lie to impress her. Because even she wouldn't believe him about the alien abduction.
The therapist his parents took him to said he had repressed whatever had happened and was using the talk of aliens as a coping mechanism.
Yeah, right, if that's what some doctor wanted to believe, it didn't really affect him.
~~~
T'rnb'll watched what Ray had called TV, attempting to find a proper place for his studies. He knew the coordinates from where they had dropped off the boy, but on viewing the material his educational leaders had said that the 'Americans' were too harsh with differences in young ones.
He was not sure why the elders had directed him northward and told him to learn a song called “O Canada.”
Honestly, being human wasn't all that difficult, even with their strange habits of breaking into song as the went to school-sponsored dances and carnivals. In fact, the only difficulties he had were the jealous looks from classmates because of how well he sang skipping down his educational learning center hallway, and the fact that the guise he wore was just a bit to skinny in some spots. It pinched.
~~
When Ray was 18, he had attempted to take Stella to the prom, but her father had never really approved of her dating him. Being friends with him was permissible, dating was an absolute outrage. Stella was a good girl - yeah, right - and he was just the son of a meat packer.
It wasn't like she was a virgin or anything, so Daddy-dearest had already missed the train on protecting his little princess.
If he couldn't take her to prom, he bet he could take his prom to her. Stella's mom thought he was adorable, and he bet she would think the idea romantic and would help arrange it.
~~~
T'rnb'll shivered in his room He felt so odd, like his skin was too tight and not tight enough. If this was how humans felt in the spring, he could see why they didn't pay as much attention to, well, anything.
Gods - how did they cope with spring and finals and arranging for dorm mates for the fall semester?
~~~
When Ray was 21, he made the third biggest mistake of his life. He eloped with his Gold-Coast girl days after dropping out of college and starting at the police academy.
His father wasn't talking to him and had dragged his mother to Arizona in a fit of rage. Stella's father had been a bit outraged, and Stella was never home between studying for her LSAT's and writing her major thesis.
He just wanted to be happy, and wasn't living the American dream supposed to be all happy-inducing?
~~~
T'rnb'll stood at attention, wishing he was anywhere but here. Ever since he had seen the special about the musical ride, he knew that he wanted to do a study on law enforcement.
The whole concept was intriguing, but there seemed to be a lot of ridiculous rigmarole. How did the humans have such trouble finding out who had committed the crime? It wasn't that difficult to do a mental reading on other adults and humans were much more of an open book in terms of their mental processes.
~~~
When Ray was 32, he made the biggest two mistakes of his life. He signed the divorce papers that Stella's attorney had sent, and he had agreed to go undercover as a different detective to help set up a cover for that detective's undercover activities.
It was actually kind of fun, even if he had to worry about death from increasingly weird events. He hadn't had a best friend since he was ten, and now he had one.
Hell, even Turnbull wasn't that bad, even if he was fucking weird as hell. Seriously, what was up with all that talk about the Queen and curling?
That just was damn queer.
~~~
T'rnb'll stared at Ray, no, Detective Vecchio. He was so confused, he had thought Ray's family name was Kowalski, but here he was saying it was Vecchio.
Maybe that was a stage of human development. If all humans went through it, maybe they didn't feel a need to actually explain it.
But how else would you explain someone who's looks just changed overnight to something on the other spectrum of coloration?
Or would assuming someone's elses life be a tradition of theirs to learn about each other and not be so incredibly violent towards one another?t. Although, if that was the case, it didn't work all that well.
~~~
When Ray was 34, he followed his best friend to the frozen armpit of Canada
Chicago had nothing for him. His parents lived in Arizona, his (ex)wife was living in Florida, and what was the point in working for the CPD if his partner wasn't there?
It was fucking annoying that Fraser was still in love with some criminal who tried to kill him, but hell - even Fraser needed somebody to be there.
Plus, it was kind of pretty in an odd sort of way.
~~~
T'rnb'll watched from the plane window as the tundra seemed to spread out for miles and miles.
The elders had given him two months to finish with his studies before he had to come home and present the project, and he wanted to see Benton and Ray one last time before returning home.
He wondered if he told them about what he truly was, if they would believe him. Would it really matter if they didn't?
~~~
“Shit, Fraser, one of us needs to mow the goddamn grass,” Ray was bitching as T'rnb'll walked up to the cabin.
“Well, I do believe it is your turn as we outlined in the division of chores, Ray.”
“Jeez, do you have to be so damn petty about it? I have allergies, I can't mow the grass.”
“I find it very intriguing that the only time you seem to have allergies is when you don't wish to perform a task,” Fraser retorted.
“Sir, Detective Kowalski,” T'rnb'll interrupted, “if I may be of any assistance in aiding you two, I would not find it difficult to trim the grass . It is the least I can do after you two opened your home to me.”
“Hell, Turnbull, you're a friend. It's no problem, and my mom would kill me if she ever found out I let a guest do yard work. And call me Ray.”
“No, No, I insist, ah, Ray. I would find it quite relaxing to learn how to do something I have never done before.”
“Ray, we would be remiss as hosts if we didn't allow him to mow the grass,” Fraser interrupted the two.
“Hell, Frase, you're just saying that because you don't want to do it.”
“Be that as it may, Renfield would like to cut the grass.” Which effectively ended their argument.
T'rnb'll followed Ray to the little shed, wondering why he had volunteered to mow their yard. Ray had mentioned before that they didn't keep the whole of their property neat, just a small patch around their cabin.
It made it easier for Diefenbaker and the other sled dogs, apparently.
“It's not all that hard, you just have to pull this cord three times while squeezing this lever. And, hey, thanks!”
T'rnb'll stared at the little machine dubiously, wondering why humans always seemed to have this need to make the natural world unnaturally ordered. Well, this really was the least he could do to repay their hospitality and kindness.
He started up the machine, having to try three times, and startled a bit at how loud it was. Okay, now all he had to do was push the machine and avoid sticks and stones.
It couldn't be that hard, could it?
Thirty minutes later, T'rnb'll knew exactly why Benton and Ray didn't wish to mow the grass. It was horrible work.
His skin was itchy and tingling all over, and the disguise felt too tight and too loose. He was antsy and he just wanted relief. It was a thousand times worse than the last time he had been by cut grass.
He just didn't know what it was that was affecting him. Maybe he was allergic, as Ray had said he was.
“Hey, Renny, you okay there?” Ray called out. Turnbull had just stopped mowing in the middle of the plot, and he looked off. Like, really off. Like, his skin was gray tinged and it looked kind of like it was moving, which, weird.
“I think I may be having a reaction to this mowing, Ray,” T'rnb'll answered, his voice going up a few pitches.
Ray moved from towards Turnbull, but he didn't quite expect the reaction he received when he grabbed Turnbull's shoulder.
“Gods, Ray, it burns, make it stop,” T'rnb'll murmured as he turned into Ray's arms. He couldn't help but thrust his hips forwards.
“Hey, you're getting a bit frisky there Renny.”
“The air - it makes me feel so hot.”
“What, the grass is sex pollen now?”
“Please?” T'rnb'll fairly begged. He had no idea what was going on, but he wanted...wanted something. Anything.
Ray bite his lip, looking indecisive. Fuck. Turnbull was hot, aesthetically speaking, and hey, look at that vocabulary he had learned from Fraser. But there was no way he was in his right mind.
But when Ray had bite his lip, it was like a flip had switched in Turnbull's head, and he moved forward, capturing his mouth in a kiss.
The two fell to the ground, Turnbull attempting to strip off Ray's shirt. He had no idea when he had lost his own, but was glad. He didn't want anything taking away his ability to touch Ray's skin. It was so soft and smooth.
“Jeezus Renny, don't make me giggle,” Ray said as he squirmed a bit.
“Mhmmm,” T'rnb'll replied as he dropped kisses along ray's neck and shoulder. Those reactions Ray had really were quite interesting, but his skin still felt too tight.
Maybe he should loosen the disguise? But what if that freaked out Ray?
And what did he care when Ray was thrusting and arching underneath him?.
Gods. It was like suns exploding underneath his skin, as if the world was disappearing.
It was too fast, too slow, too much. He wanted, and he had.
Ray threw his head back, his neck arching backwards, tendons standing at attention. T'rnb'll bit down at the hollow of Ray's throat, and was lost in a thousand sensations.
So, that was what an orgasm was. No wonder humans seemed so obsessed with practicing procreation.
T'rnb'll floated in a wave of lassitude, ignoring what Ray was saying until he repeated it a time or four.
“Not that that wasn't fun and all, Rennie, but, why do you have tentacles coming out of your back?”
I tag llassah with the prompt of water park!
Author: monroe_nell
rating: C for cracktackular (high R, maybe?)
Pairing: RayK/T'rnb'll
word count: 1992
Author Notes: Because every fandom needs sex pollen. And aliens.
Beta'ed by the lovely akamine_chan.
Prompt: Freshly Mowed Grass
When Ray was ten, he had found himself immersed in a completely different world.
Everything was harsh, gleaming metal calling and beckoning to be touched, but ever too dangerous. There was nothing to see except eternal darkness, broken now and then by stars that didn't even have the decency to twinkle.
He wandered about the ship, not finding it odd that he was allowed to touch the different devices that could have killed him.
After all, it's not everyday that someone is accidentally kidnapped by aliens for three weeks.
~~~
Ray never did find out that the klutzy one nearest his own age developed a keen interest in humans. Or that Ray's alien counter-part would spend the next two developmental stages begging to be allowed to study humans in their natural habitat.
~~~
When Ray was 12, he met the girl of his dreams. She was everything he was not, smart and pretty and confident , and how could he not love her?
He did everything for her, including learning to lie to impress her. Because even she wouldn't believe him about the alien abduction.
The therapist his parents took him to said he had repressed whatever had happened and was using the talk of aliens as a coping mechanism.
Yeah, right, if that's what some doctor wanted to believe, it didn't really affect him.
~~~
T'rnb'll watched what Ray had called TV, attempting to find a proper place for his studies. He knew the coordinates from where they had dropped off the boy, but on viewing the material his educational leaders had said that the 'Americans' were too harsh with differences in young ones.
He was not sure why the elders had directed him northward and told him to learn a song called “O Canada.”
Honestly, being human wasn't all that difficult, even with their strange habits of breaking into song as the went to school-sponsored dances and carnivals. In fact, the only difficulties he had were the jealous looks from classmates because of how well he sang skipping down his educational learning center hallway, and the fact that the guise he wore was just a bit to skinny in some spots. It pinched.
~~
When Ray was 18, he had attempted to take Stella to the prom, but her father had never really approved of her dating him. Being friends with him was permissible, dating was an absolute outrage. Stella was a good girl - yeah, right - and he was just the son of a meat packer.
It wasn't like she was a virgin or anything, so Daddy-dearest had already missed the train on protecting his little princess.
If he couldn't take her to prom, he bet he could take his prom to her. Stella's mom thought he was adorable, and he bet she would think the idea romantic and would help arrange it.
~~~
T'rnb'll shivered in his room He felt so odd, like his skin was too tight and not tight enough. If this was how humans felt in the spring, he could see why they didn't pay as much attention to, well, anything.
Gods - how did they cope with spring and finals and arranging for dorm mates for the fall semester?
~~~
When Ray was 21, he made the third biggest mistake of his life. He eloped with his Gold-Coast girl days after dropping out of college and starting at the police academy.
His father wasn't talking to him and had dragged his mother to Arizona in a fit of rage. Stella's father had been a bit outraged, and Stella was never home between studying for her LSAT's and writing her major thesis.
He just wanted to be happy, and wasn't living the American dream supposed to be all happy-inducing?
~~~
T'rnb'll stood at attention, wishing he was anywhere but here. Ever since he had seen the special about the musical ride, he knew that he wanted to do a study on law enforcement.
The whole concept was intriguing, but there seemed to be a lot of ridiculous rigmarole. How did the humans have such trouble finding out who had committed the crime? It wasn't that difficult to do a mental reading on other adults and humans were much more of an open book in terms of their mental processes.
~~~
When Ray was 32, he made the biggest two mistakes of his life. He signed the divorce papers that Stella's attorney had sent, and he had agreed to go undercover as a different detective to help set up a cover for that detective's undercover activities.
It was actually kind of fun, even if he had to worry about death from increasingly weird events. He hadn't had a best friend since he was ten, and now he had one.
Hell, even Turnbull wasn't that bad, even if he was fucking weird as hell. Seriously, what was up with all that talk about the Queen and curling?
That just was damn queer.
~~~
T'rnb'll stared at Ray, no, Detective Vecchio. He was so confused, he had thought Ray's family name was Kowalski, but here he was saying it was Vecchio.
Maybe that was a stage of human development. If all humans went through it, maybe they didn't feel a need to actually explain it.
But how else would you explain someone who's looks just changed overnight to something on the other spectrum of coloration?
Or would assuming someone's elses life be a tradition of theirs to learn about each other and not be so incredibly violent towards one another?t. Although, if that was the case, it didn't work all that well.
~~~
When Ray was 34, he followed his best friend to the frozen armpit of Canada
Chicago had nothing for him. His parents lived in Arizona, his (ex)wife was living in Florida, and what was the point in working for the CPD if his partner wasn't there?
It was fucking annoying that Fraser was still in love with some criminal who tried to kill him, but hell - even Fraser needed somebody to be there.
Plus, it was kind of pretty in an odd sort of way.
~~~
T'rnb'll watched from the plane window as the tundra seemed to spread out for miles and miles.
The elders had given him two months to finish with his studies before he had to come home and present the project, and he wanted to see Benton and Ray one last time before returning home.
He wondered if he told them about what he truly was, if they would believe him. Would it really matter if they didn't?
~~~
“Shit, Fraser, one of us needs to mow the goddamn grass,” Ray was bitching as T'rnb'll walked up to the cabin.
“Well, I do believe it is your turn as we outlined in the division of chores, Ray.”
“Jeez, do you have to be so damn petty about it? I have allergies, I can't mow the grass.”
“I find it very intriguing that the only time you seem to have allergies is when you don't wish to perform a task,” Fraser retorted.
“Sir, Detective Kowalski,” T'rnb'll interrupted, “if I may be of any assistance in aiding you two, I would not find it difficult to trim the grass . It is the least I can do after you two opened your home to me.”
“Hell, Turnbull, you're a friend. It's no problem, and my mom would kill me if she ever found out I let a guest do yard work. And call me Ray.”
“No, No, I insist, ah, Ray. I would find it quite relaxing to learn how to do something I have never done before.”
“Ray, we would be remiss as hosts if we didn't allow him to mow the grass,” Fraser interrupted the two.
“Hell, Frase, you're just saying that because you don't want to do it.”
“Be that as it may, Renfield would like to cut the grass.” Which effectively ended their argument.
T'rnb'll followed Ray to the little shed, wondering why he had volunteered to mow their yard. Ray had mentioned before that they didn't keep the whole of their property neat, just a small patch around their cabin.
It made it easier for Diefenbaker and the other sled dogs, apparently.
“It's not all that hard, you just have to pull this cord three times while squeezing this lever. And, hey, thanks!”
T'rnb'll stared at the little machine dubiously, wondering why humans always seemed to have this need to make the natural world unnaturally ordered. Well, this really was the least he could do to repay their hospitality and kindness.
He started up the machine, having to try three times, and startled a bit at how loud it was. Okay, now all he had to do was push the machine and avoid sticks and stones.
It couldn't be that hard, could it?
Thirty minutes later, T'rnb'll knew exactly why Benton and Ray didn't wish to mow the grass. It was horrible work.
His skin was itchy and tingling all over, and the disguise felt too tight and too loose. He was antsy and he just wanted relief. It was a thousand times worse than the last time he had been by cut grass.
He just didn't know what it was that was affecting him. Maybe he was allergic, as Ray had said he was.
“Hey, Renny, you okay there?” Ray called out. Turnbull had just stopped mowing in the middle of the plot, and he looked off. Like, really off. Like, his skin was gray tinged and it looked kind of like it was moving, which, weird.
“I think I may be having a reaction to this mowing, Ray,” T'rnb'll answered, his voice going up a few pitches.
Ray moved from towards Turnbull, but he didn't quite expect the reaction he received when he grabbed Turnbull's shoulder.
“Gods, Ray, it burns, make it stop,” T'rnb'll murmured as he turned into Ray's arms. He couldn't help but thrust his hips forwards.
“Hey, you're getting a bit frisky there Renny.”
“The air - it makes me feel so hot.”
“What, the grass is sex pollen now?”
“Please?” T'rnb'll fairly begged. He had no idea what was going on, but he wanted...wanted something. Anything.
Ray bite his lip, looking indecisive. Fuck. Turnbull was hot, aesthetically speaking, and hey, look at that vocabulary he had learned from Fraser. But there was no way he was in his right mind.
But when Ray had bite his lip, it was like a flip had switched in Turnbull's head, and he moved forward, capturing his mouth in a kiss.
The two fell to the ground, Turnbull attempting to strip off Ray's shirt. He had no idea when he had lost his own, but was glad. He didn't want anything taking away his ability to touch Ray's skin. It was so soft and smooth.
“Jeezus Renny, don't make me giggle,” Ray said as he squirmed a bit.
“Mhmmm,” T'rnb'll replied as he dropped kisses along ray's neck and shoulder. Those reactions Ray had really were quite interesting, but his skin still felt too tight.
Maybe he should loosen the disguise? But what if that freaked out Ray?
And what did he care when Ray was thrusting and arching underneath him?.
Gods. It was like suns exploding underneath his skin, as if the world was disappearing.
It was too fast, too slow, too much. He wanted, and he had.
Ray threw his head back, his neck arching backwards, tendons standing at attention. T'rnb'll bit down at the hollow of Ray's throat, and was lost in a thousand sensations.
So, that was what an orgasm was. No wonder humans seemed so obsessed with practicing procreation.
T'rnb'll floated in a wave of lassitude, ignoring what Ray was saying until he repeated it a time or four.
“Not that that wasn't fun and all, Rennie, but, why do you have tentacles coming out of your back?”
I tag llassah with the prompt of water park!