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[stolenokisses]

Something that really bothers me is the constant, low-level sexism and objectification that goes on daily everywhere, and how since it's not like you can police people's thoughts, you are treated as if you're over-reacting if you find it offensive and upsetting

Comments

[tonight_we_fly]

I didn’t think you were over-reacting at all; well, perhaps until the paragraph before last when this incident suddenly turned men into rapists, but other than that your complaints are entirely sound

[stolenokisses]

I didn’t think you were over-reacting at all; well, perhaps until the paragraph before last when this incident suddenly turned men into rapists, but other than that your complaints are entirely sound.

Oh Wow, that's not what I meant at all, I merely think from small scale to large scale problems that there are a lot of things that women face where they are expected to deal with some kind of unavoidable and instinctive male behaviour, which insults the majority of decent men as much as it does women. I no more think that every man is a rapist, than I think it's fair that every woman is a potential rape victim and so has to take steps to protect herself. ANYWAY. I certainly didn't mean to cause offence with that comment.

Of course your comment is welcome! I wouldn't have a leg to stand on shouting about equality, but saying "no men's opinions allowed!" I think your thoughts on how I could have handled it are interesting, but as you say, with hindsight I am still not sure I would have felt able to behave any differently.

[fuzzyedges]

I agree with all of this and don't think you're overreacting at all. I've been in situations like this and the feeling of powerlessness if awful - knowing that you'll get home and bitch about it and be agreed with, but in that moment if you said something you'd just reinforce their stereotypes about "humourless feminist bitches" or some such. Or be told that you don't need to worry, they'd fuck you. Or that you're jealous of sexy photocopy lady because they wouldn't fuck you. I don't think its a small issue, I think it contributes to the idea that our worth is based on whether or not these men want to fuck us, and that it definitely links to a rape-blame culture. Urgh urgh urgh. Hope tonight's journey is better.

[stolenokisses]

I think it contributes to the idea that our worth is based on whether or not these men want to fuck us, and that it definitely links to a rape-blame culture.

YES. I most definitely agree with this.

[burnyourbones]

This post wins the internet

[stolenokisses]

Oh, but there's loads of weird and nasty shit on the internet. Can I just win the nice bits like etsy and twitter and pictures of puppies and that?

Anyway. WORD on everything you said about the dearth of the concept of public. I could say more, but then I'll just be rambling and we know we agree on all of this anyway.

[velocity_girl]

this kind of talk disgusts me as well, and your conundrum over whether or not to say something to them really reminds of me that episode in the most recent series of mad men (lol, way to reduce everything to pop culture references but i actually thought it was very insightful)... after one of the copywriters draws a misogynistic cartoon of her and peggy fires him, joan says something along the lines of, "no matter how powerful we get, all you've done is proven to them that i'm just a meaningless secretary and you're a humourless bitch." it really does feel like we just can't win.

[divulge]

I don't think it's an over-reaction at all (but I wouldn't have felt able to say anything either). There really is a problem with lack of respect in our society, and not just from men to women.