The Bryar Bunch: The One Where Joe is Like a Guru [ Ep 3/24]
Title: The Bryar Bunch: The One Where Joe is Like a Guru [ Ep 3/ 24]
Author: stfu_pwentzz
Pairing: Spencer/Bob, Pete/Mikey, Frank/Brendon
Rating: PG-13 [Language and drug use]
Summary: The Brady Bunch AU. Spencer is the glue that holds his family together, three messed up boys that needed a place to stay. Bob holds his own family together, four boys in a band called My Chemical Romance. Spencer and Bob fall in love and get married. How will these families clash together?
Disclaimer: The last time I checked, Bob and Spencer weren’t married. And I don’t think there would be this much drama.
Episodes:
Pilot | Two |
Episode Three: The One Where Joe is Like a Guru
Brendon got shoved to the ground, and he tried not to roll his eyes. Mikey was such a pussy bitch. When the fighting gets tough, he bails out. It wasn’t even that big of a fight. A few punches here and there, and he has to go all woe is me to his horse-faced boyfriend.
Brendon sat up and went back to the couch that he was originally residing on. It was more comfortable than the ground, and he had a nice view of Pete laughing at Mikey. And if Mikey was being laughed at, Brendon wanted a good view.
Mikey glared at Pete. “That was for your fucking honor, so you should shut the fuck up,” Mikey bitched to Pete, getting up to his knees but Pete just laughed in his face. No, not even a laugh. He cackled like a witch in Mikey’s face. Maybe this Pete guy wasn’t so bad.
Except for the fact that Pete was the one Ryan was in love with, not Brendon.
Brendon totally hated his guts.
“God, I feel bad for my honor. My honor just got tossed into the mud.”
And. Pete Wentz is the coolest guy to grace himself on this planet. Brendon laughed. Brendon rolled over on his side and laughed with his worst enemy, other than the Way’s and Frank. Pete totally just dissed Mikey’s attempt to salvage his honor that Brendon had thrown in the mud. Life didn’t get better than that.
Mikey stormed out of the room and Pete sat down next to Brendon. Brendon didn’t really know how to handle that. It was one thing to laugh with him at his boyfriend; it was a totally different thing to sit next to Pete and talk.
But, Pete didn’t get Brendon’s awkwardness. He just chuckled to himself and set his hand on Brendon’s shoulder. “You know, you’re alright, Kid.”
Brendon glowered at no one in particular. If he heard that phrase one more time, shit was gonna hit the fan. He was twenty years old; he was nowhere near a kid.
“Yeah. Whatever, Sir.” Brendon smiled triumphantly to himself. Two could play this ridiculous game.
Pete’s face sobered up immediately and Brendon found his mission accomplished. Then once Brendon smiled ruefully, Pete suddenly started to smile also. He was just weird.
He squeezed his shoulder with a little more force. “I get you. I get you.”
Brendon glared at him, how could he ‘get’ Brendon if he didn’t even know his name. But, he was a rock star, he wasn’t really required to know Brendon’s name. He probably knew Ryan’s name.
“So, kid, what’s your name so I can stop calling you ‘kid’,” Pete said.
Brendon shrugged, what was the point. He was gonna forget it anyway. “Brendon.”
Pete nodded to himself absently. Man, he was even more cryptic than Ryan. What with the not speaking. “So, do you want to blow this Popsicle stand?”
Brendon busted out in laughter. No way did he just use that phrase in a sentence. How old was this guy? “You did not just say that.”
Pete didn’t even blush, and his smile didn't waver. “Yes. Why yes I did, Brendon. Come on, you totally deserve a day with Pete Wentz. I even promise to molest you at breakfast.”
Brendon could think of a million reasons to say no. He could also think of a lesser list of reasons to say yes. But what the hell. He did give Mikey an ass whooping.
“Sure, okay. Maybe you can convince me that you’re not a total tool.”
Pete laughed, and pulled Brendon in closer to him, making Brendon inevitably smell his armpit, “That, Brendon may take two days. Maybe you should hang out on our bus tomorrow.”
Brendon rolled his eyes, and didn’t know if he was kidding or not.
xXx
“Dude! I’m not even kidding. I think he wrote you a poem, that’s how in love with you he is.”
Brendon was maybe a little drunk. He was a little drunk, and just a teensy bit high. But only a little. Not enough for him to say stuff he regrets. For instance, like the way Ryan’s in love with Pete. He definitely did not say anything of the sort.
Pete had brought Brendon to the bus after they left My Chemical Romance’s bus. It was a lot smaller than what Brendon was used to, but he was also used to a small room in Spencer’s basement, so it wasn’t that bad.
This crazy haired guy was sitting on the couch, and Brendon thought that he could give Ray a run for his money, hair wise.
Pete went to venture for Patrick because “He’ll totally appreciate this story, man. He will think it’s as funny as we do,” So he had that.
So, that left Brendon alone with some dude with a Jew afro. A Jew afro? Did those even exist? If they did, this guy’s would definitely go under that category.
Good thing they took buses, the flight attendant would make this guy get two seats.
Brendon started laughing randomly, and that’s when this guy looked over. He had these wide brown eyes, and this contagious smile that even Brendon couldn’t fight. “The names Joe,” he introduced, holding out his hand.
Brendon nodded, and shook Joe’s hand. “Brendon. I kind of live on My Chem’s bus.”
Joe stopped smiling and scrunched his eyebrows together. “You mean, like a bum? Did you sneak in their luggage carriers? Because, if you did, watch out for Bob. Bob can fuck you up.”
Brendon laughed. He was gonna like this Joe guy, he could just tell. “No, no. Bob married my friend Spencer. And well, Spencer kind of brought us with him. He’s kind of the only family we have.”
Brendon frowned at that. That was kind of sad. In theory he was supposed to have more family, but My Chemical Romance is filled with a bunch of pricks. Yes, they were pricks. They started everything. Brendon and Ryan just liked to finish it.
Joe nodded solemnly whilst he went inside his jeans pocket. “Righteous. Do you want to smoke up?”
Brendon eyed the bag that Joe was holding in front of his face with just his thumb and index finger. Then he smiled again. “Of course, let’s get this two man party started.”
By the time Pete came back muttering “Where could he be? I left him in the bus this morning,” frowning they were already hitting the joint.
“Pete,” Joe called out to his distraught friend. “When you stop looking, you’ll find Patrick. Only when you give up, will you find anything you’re looking for.”
Pete stood at a standstill in the doorway. Immobile.
“Did you get my awesome new friend high?” Pete asked, still frowning. Brendon felt kind of bad. He said friend and Brendon kind of hated him. Well, Brendon didn’t hate him as much as he was just jealous of him.
Joe nodded.
Pete sighed.
Brendon took another hit.
Pete came to sit down next to Brendon. “So, do you drink, too?” he asked nodding his head towards the refrigerator.
Brendon ignored the nagging voice in the back of his head that mentioned he wasn’t allowed to drink coffee before. He weighted his options and decided that it couldn’t hurt anything.
“Sure.”
But here he was, telling the epic tale of how Ryan was in love with Pete. Pete and Joe were cracking up. Brendon hadn’t even drunk anything. Not really.
He couldn’t exactly remember why he brought Ryan up. But he usually brought Ryan up indirectly in conversations when he was straight, so it wasn’t that odd to directly talk about him when he’s drunk. Buzzed. Buzzed. Brendon was buzzed.
If he was drunk he would talk about embarrassing things about himself.
And, as if on cue, he blurted out, “But me? I’ve only been there. I’ve only read his shitty writing. Okay, that’s a lie. I’ve only read his life-changing writing. I’ve been in love with him for years, and all he cares about is you.”
He really wasn’t an emotional drunk. Even thought this is his first time and it seems he’s pretty emotional. He’s just partying with the focus of all his frustration for the past three years.
Pete patted his shoulder sympathetically. It was a pretty nice feeling.
“Don’t worry, dude. In time, Brendon, he’ll realize how awesome you are,” Pete consoled.
Brendon snorted. “But, I’m competing with you. And you’re like the epitome of cool. How did I hate you for so long?”
Pete smile took over his face, and he hugged Brendon to his body.
“Brenny, do you mean that?”
This was going a little too far, but this was the most contact he’s gotten in over a month. Physical touch is what Brendon runs on. He held onto Pete. “Yeah, you’re awesome. More awesome than I thought you were.”
Pete stopped hugging Brendon, but left his arm to drape over Brendon’s shoulder.
“I’m sorry, but you’ve been replaced, Patrick,” Pete smiled. Then he blinked a couple of times before he jumped off the couch and bounded over to Patrick, knocking his glasses off. “Where did you go?”
Patrick pushed his glasses back up his nose. “I went to the store. I’ve only been gone an hour.” Patrick held up the convenient store bag that he was holding.
Pete snuggled into Patrick’s shoulder. “It was an hour too long, Trick.”
Patrick rolled his eyes. “Right. You were gone all night, dumbass.”
Brendon turned to Joe, “Dude, you were right.”
Joe scoffed, “I’m always right. Pete wasn’t looking for Patrick and Patrick came to him. You were too busy focusing on your hatred for Pete you didn’t look for his friendship. Which you obviously have now.”
Joe was like a guru. “You’re like a guru, Joe.”
Joe did some strange bowing thing. “Just remember, and Ryan will be yours.” Brendon scratched his head in confusion. When did this conversations change onto him? “Give Ryan up; move on and he will embrace the love he has for you. The plan is already set in motion.”
Brendon raised his eyebrows up when Joe still didn’t elaborate. He was a confusing guru. Then again, maybe it was the alcohol and weed.
Then Patrick shoved Pete off of him abruptly, as if he remembered something.
“Brendon, right?” Patrick pointed to Brendon. He nodded slowly why was the room spinning? “Yeah, there’s someone looking for you.”
It was probably Ryan. He liked keeping a tight leash on Brendon. “I’ll just call Ryan later.”
Patrick shook his head. “No, actually, it’s Frank who’s looking for you.”