My local Groupon for today is a $20 massage at a place that does "orange creamsicle aromatherapy," and that's just interesting enough for me to try.

The internet is leaking.

The thirty-eighth rule of Fight Club is "If you make a mess in the break room, you have to clean it up."

Countries that do Daylight Saving Time should do it on Leap Day so as to REALLY confuse everyone.

I can't think of many things more boring than watching race cars not racing for 90 minutes.

I thought one of our goldfish was dead, but it was just sleeping or swimming in a kind of upside-down way or doing some other stupid fish tricks.

Argh, it's too big.

I just got a handful of emails that were sent in mid-January.

"My daddy was a pancake, and my mom was a waffle."

gromko yelled at a bunch of out-of-control teenagers who were making a mess of the playground at the local fast food place tonight, and it was awesome.