It's a Wonderful Lilly (Logan/Veronica) NC-17
Title: It's a Wonderful Lilly
Author: StarCrossdSparrow
Pairing/Characters: Veronica/Logan, Lilly, mentions of the rest of the gang
Rating: NC-17
Chapter: 1/1
Word Count: 5783
Disclaimer: RT is the master of all things "Veronica Mars." I'll put everyone back when I'm done, so please don't sue. Frank Capra (and all things Jimmy Stewart) also don't belong to me.
Spoilers: Through 3.09 “Spit and Eggs” but nothing really specific. Just know the first two seasons.
Summary: In this very special episode of VM, Veronica learns a lesson from Lilly about Logan. Hey, every show has to have it's It's a Wonderful Life moment. Even if it does become smutty. Sorry, Clarence.
Author's Note: Written for the “Santa Baby Challenge” at
vm_library. Bucketfulls of gratitude to my lovely beta,
sweetumms33 without whom this would be very clunky and to
erin2326, encouragement personified. Without them, this fic would be a lump of coal in your stockings.
XxXxXxX
Snow whirled around her, speckling her blonde hair with white.
Well, okay, it wasn't actual snow. It was Mall at Millennium Springs approved bits of white plastic that fell from the three story Santa Land Toy Shop and Photo Stop. Only, after a month of recycling the same bits, the “snow” was now mixed with the dirt the masses left behind.
Veronica stood, a backdrop of crimson and chartreuse spiraling upward toward the skylights. Before her, people were lined up to meet Santa after his break to “feed the reindeer.” The very same Santa that had just tried to feel her up in his workshop only moments prior. Her skin crawled at the thought causing the evergreen tights to itch her legs even more. To top it off, the white puff from her jaunty hat refused to stay out of the lens.
Yes, Veronica Mars had stooped very low to take an eight dollar an hour job photographing the obnoxious offspring of the wealthy and over-privileged. And she was dressed like a goddamn elf.
“Smile!” she called, her false cheer long gone well into her fourth hour. The aroma of a nearby Cinnabon was making her simultaneously hungry and nostalgic for the good old days at Java the Hut. A feeling that was growing greater with each passing day.
The redheaded monster in Santa Perv's lap screeched and went stiff as a board, heavier than a featherweight as she snapped the picture. Scratch each passing day, it was more like each passing second.
Finally, after another three hours of asinine elf shoes, ignorant parents, and sniveling, sniffling brats, the line was gone and the shop employees had begun to tug their gates closed. Veronica felt a special sort of sympathy for a guy working at a nearby Children's Palace. She'd seen him six nights running. Every time, Veronica wondered if he even left the mall. Same dark circles, same blue polo, same khakis that looked like they might have seen Desert Storm. Veronica saluted him and he gave a weary wave. As the metal connected with the dirty linoleum, Veronica spotted another boy who she immediately recognized.
Logan Echolls was wound around a petite blonde looking for all the world as though he was trying to give her tonsillectomy. Veronica couldn't resist the double take. She'd taken the job at this mall so far north of Neptune because she'd been banking on not running into anyone she knew. That hesitation was her undoing because, as sure as she'd seen him, he saw her.
What was worse, instead of a smirk or a leer at her ridiculous get-up, his look was full of pity.
Veronica sucked in a breath, trying to regain what had been knocked out of her. While Logan was momentarily distracted by his pretty young thing, Veronica ducked into the “workshop,” half-dressed Santa's be damned.
She closed the door and prayed that she'd been hallucinating due to faux cheer-related stress. Or, even if she wasn't, maybe Logan hadn't recognized her. She snorted at the thought and waited until Santa had bid her a regretful adieu before changing into human clothes. Then she wasted an additional four minutes reading up on how to properly clean and care for a Santa suit. Another two were spent triple-checking voice mail and text messages, then deleting the old files. Another one was spent reviewing the pictures that Wallace had snapped on her phone. Finally, she poked her head out of the back of the display. She looked left and saw only three plastic hunting deer with antlers screwed into their unwitting heads, grazing on painted shrubbery. To the right was an empty stretch of linoleum, the coast clear.
She shouldered her bag. Tomorrow was her day off and she planned on cyber-shopping in her PJs before attending the movie-and-late-night-breakfast combo with Mac and Piz for the third time that week. Veronica was hoping the two of them would just hook up already and stop using her as their training wheel.
Of course, if Veronica was perfectly honest with herself, she'd admit she was glad for the company.
She strode toward the double doors, glad she'd ignored policy that morning and parked close by. She had almost reached the glass doors and sweet freedom when she heard her name called.
She stopped but didn't turn. She listened for the footsteps and felt the air behind her stir as the voice caught up to her. Why, she railed mentally, hadn't she just run?
“Hey, Veronica,” Logan's tone was quiet, a little sheepish. Veronica knew it meant she'd been caught, elf-mittened.
“Logan. Long way to travel to do some shopping.” Veronica's reply was terse, but not unkind. To her own ears, she sounded deflated. She hated that.
“Yeah,” he mumbled. “I... a friend, you know. Lives up this way.”
“Nice to have friends all over. Like a sailor.” Veronica couldn't resist the last part and tried not to gloat as Logan flinched. She began walking.
“What are you... why out here?” Logan asked, matching her stride.
Veronica lifted her eyebrows and pushed through the doors, reveling in the chilly air that greeted her. “You know me. I have to do the minimum wage thing in order to keep Dad thinking that there is a Santa.”
Logan nodded, uncomfortably. “Yeah. Well, uh, what're you doing now?”
“I was thinking about driving up to Disneyland and breaking in to join their parade. I mean,” she held out her bag, “I've already got the snazzy tights.”
Logan forced a laugh as they approached her car. She noticed his Range Rover was parked only three spaces away. She laughed. Coincidences are funny like that.
“You hungry?”
Veronica stopped short, her hand already on the 'Unlock' button of her remote. “No, I-” she glanced around, hoping for the sky to open and rain hamburgers before finishing lamely, “Ate.”
“Oh. Well, I guess I'll see you.” Logan nodded and backed toward his car.
Veronica let go a sharp breath and climbed into the Saturn. She waited until he pulled out and until she could no longer see his taillights before she started the car. She took the long way home that night, her dad's old Bon Jovi CD blaring from her speakers the whole way. Midway through the refrain of “Always,” tears were coursing down her cheeks.
Her eyes were so blurry, she never saw the doe jump out in front of her. She cut her wheel hard, but it was too late. She slammed into the deer and skidded another fifty feet into a tree.
The last thought she had was of those poor plastic deer in the mall, never able to run as some carpenter bolted fake antlers into their empty heads.
XxXxXxX
“Veronica Mars! Wake up! I can't make the radio work and it's boring listening to you snore!” an obnoxiously chipper voice greeted her as the world started to come into focus.
Her head was lying against the steering wheel, and every bone in her body screamed. She reasoned that pain at least meant she wasn't paralyzed. She sat up, lightheaded and blinked once to clear her head.
Lilly was sitting in the passenger seat. Her best friend looked radiant in a black leather jacket over a lavender sweater and skintight jeans. But she didn't have that hazy shroud or misty look that usually meant Veronica was dreaming.
“Am I dead?” Veronica asked.
Lilly threw her head back in a gale of laughter. The sound filled the vehicle, sweet and gleeful and it warmed Veronica to the core. “No, babe! You're just unconscious. But, I'm still dead, so don't go all big headed on me, 'kay?”
“Unconscious? Why?”
“Well, uh, let's see. You were driving too fast, killed Bambi, and then slammed into a tree. You smacked your pretty face off of the steering wheel. And, if I were you, I'd sue Saturn. Safety features, my ass. Where the hell is your airbag?
Veronica looked at the offending steering wheel, still feeling bleary.
“Whatever, doesn't matter. What does matter is that I was privy to the schmoopy pity party you were throwing yourself before the wreck.” Lilly fixed Veronica with a disapproving glare. “Melancholy does not suit you. Frankly, I don't know why I even bother. It's clear none of my fabulousness is rubbing off.”
Veronica stared blankly back. What had she been thinking? It came back to her. As Jon was crooning about pay phones and roses, she had been wishing she'd never been born.
“Right-o, Ronnie.” At Veronica bewildered look, Lilly clarified. “Oh, I can read your thoughts. But, don't be freaked. It's only that way 'cause we were so close in life. Not every angel can.”
“You... you're an angel?” Veronica sputtered.
Lilly laughed and wiggled her shoulders, “Yeah. Left the halo and wings back at the office. Too conspicuous, you know. And so not me!”
“So, uh, what's this all about?” Veronica was beginning to feel like she was in need of a good doctor. Of the head-shrinking variety.
“Oh, stop it. You're not crazy!” Lilly laughed. “And, anyway, you don't need an explanation. This is your Wonderful Life moment. Remember that movie? You made me watch it, like, every Christmas.”
Veronica raised her eyebrows. “You're going to try to tell me that It's a Wonderful Life is real?”
Lilly shrugged and buckled her seatbelt. “No, Detective Mars, you already figured it out for yourself. We do this for everyone who wishes they'd never been born. You just lucked out to get someone you actually know. And, you're very lucky that it's me.”
Veronica waited for Lilly to continue.
Lilly gestured impatiently at the ignition. “Let's go, babe. I haven't got all night.”
“Where are we going?”
“Do I have to walk you through the whole damn thing?”Lilly rolled her eyes. “We're going back to Neptune so I can show you just how much you mean to everyone. As if it isn't obvious enough.”
Veronica nodded lamely at the wheel. “But, my car-”
“It'll work. Come on! I've got a party to go to and JonBenet's doing my hair in two hours.”
Veronica turned the key, amazed that the engine roared to life but she sputtered at Lilly's comment. “JonBenet? As in Ramsey?”
Lilly smirked as Veronica reversed out onto the road. “Yeah. All the famously murdered sort of hang out together.”
Veronica was intrigued despite her disbelief. “Really? Who else do you know?”
“That Lacey Peterson chick? She's cool. Kind of like the mom Celeste never was. Bakes cookies and all that jazz. Marilyn Monroe, though, she rocks. Totally who I would have become had Aaron not, you know,” she drug her fingernail across her neck and made a gagging sound.
“I thought Marilyn Monroe committed suicide.”
Lilly shook her head as they crossed into the city. “No, they go somewhere else.” The tone of her voice had changed so much, Veronica was afraid to ask anymore questions.
“Where should I go first?”
Lilly raised her eyebrow. “Do you believe that you're not dreaming this?”
“Not really.”
Lilly nodded her understanding, “Well, I suggest you go to the person most likely to tell you the truth.”
Veronica made the necessary turns before pulling into the Sunset Cliffs. Lilly grinned and they exited the vehicle. Veronica led the way and before she stuck her key in the lock, asked, “Will he be able to see me?”
Lilly snorted. “Veronica! This isn't that Christmas Carole thing. I'm not the Ghost of Awesomeness Yet to Come or whatever. But, just be prepared because Keith Mars has no children.” Veronica gave her friend a skeptical look and Lilly folded her arms. “Go ahead and try it.”
Veronica inserted her key. It didn't fit. Veronica looked at it, perplexed, and tried to force it once more. No luck. Just as Veronica was about to try a third time, the door swung open.
Her father stood before her. He looked much the same, but there were wrinkles that hadn't been there in the morning and his thin hair was grey around the temples. He also reeked of scotch. “You lose something, kid?” he barked, looking between Lilly and Veronica with barely concealed anger. And was that... eww, it was! Lust. Veronica resisted the urge to vomit. She was very glad she hadn't jumped into his arms and called him daddy.
“No, I... uh, stupid thing. I just came to the wrong apartment. Just moved here and all.” Veronica forced a laugh and was already backing up towards the stairs. The glint in her father's eye was disturbing her.
“Really?” he asked, straightening his ratty bowling shirt. “Which apartment? Maybe I could, uh, escort you back?”
Lilly grabbed her arm and hauled her towards the stairs. “No, it's cool, Mr. M. I'll get her home.”
As they got into the smashed up Saturn, Veronica was shaking. “Why did you call him Mr. M? He's going to know something's up if you knew him.”
Lilly waved her off. “Clock's ticking, Veronica. It doesn't matter, anyway. This isn't real, right?”
Veronica shifted uncomfortably and started the car again. She pulled out, sure of her next destination.
“Who else are we going to scare now, V?” Lilly inquired, inspecting her manicure. “You have a file in here?” she asked, rummaging through the glove compartment.
“No.” She hung a left under a slightly pink arrow. As soon as she was through the intersection, she heard sirens and saw the flash of lights behind her. She groaned and pulled to the side. “Great. Not only am I having the worst nightmare ever, I'm getting pulled over in it. I am never eating at Szechwan Sam's again.”
Lilly snorted, “How many times do I have to tell you that this isn't the result of a bad egg roll? I'm trying to help.”
“You could really help by changing the man in that cruiser into Deputy Sacks.” Veronica grimaced as she saw Don Lamb approaching in her rear view mirror.
“Won't matter. Neither of them know you. You don't exist. And, sorry Ronica, neither does your driver's license.”
Veronica sagged into her seat as her window buzzed down.
Lamb stopped at her window and peeked in with a leer. “License and registration.”
“Come on, Lamb, you know who I am. Just write me the damn ticket so we can both be on our way.”
The sheriff quirked an eyebrow, “I don't care who you are. And the damn ticket's just gone up fifty bucks for the crack. License and registration, girly.”
Veronica glared at Lilly who merely shrugged. “Tried to tell you. You should have cried and shoved your tits at him. He's into that.”
Lamb smirked. “You should have listened to your friend.”
Veronica dug around in her bag. Her wallet yielded nothing save a crumpled five dollar bill and a Blockbuster card in Keith's name. Her credit cards were all blank, as were her driver's license and registration. Even her checkbook was blank.
Lamb snorted down at her as she sifted through the pile of worthless plastic. “Driving without a license and uninsured? It's a banner day for the Neptune coffers. Out of the car.”
Veronica considered tears but choked them down as she reluctantly obeyed. She noted that Lamb spent a few minutes longer than necessary securing her handcuffs.
“Sheriff, can I come with? I don't have a ride without her,” Lilly asked sweetly as she followed them back to the black and white.
Lamb grinned back at the blonde. “You look so familiar. Did you go to Neptune High?”
Lilly flipped her hair, “Yeah. Years ago.”
Onward to Part Two