waiting for the rain. i always find myself waiting. waiting for something. i need to hear your voice. see your face. know you're okay and then i'll be okay too. i want it to rain. a warm summer rain. the kind where it's bright and sunny and warm and raining. i see myself just standing in the rain, playing, laughing like a little kid, so excited. so ( Read more... )

and the dumb bitch can't even fucking spell tomorrow right. maybe when you graduate you'll finally get how to spell that one. it's tomorrow not tomarrow. sound the word out you dumb cunt.

i don't know whats going on any more. at least i feel like i don't. i just feel lost and confused a lot of the time. i can't write in my journal because it makes aaron upset. i need to get stuff out somewhere. somehow. i feel like i am going crazy right now. how do i know what to miss when i don't even know what is real any more. i feel like i can' ( Read more... )

megumi is in heat and she is keeping me awake. fernado and jeremy arent home yet. it is quiet. i am thristy and have a headache. i need to bring my bed here. my back hurts from the sleeping on the couch and futon. i like living here though. being tucked away from the world. i am currently content. happy. loved.

dana's new pictures scare me. i am frightened and appalled. i hope shawn leaves forever. he does nothing but anger and disgust me. yup. i am going to go to the library tomorrow. i would like to start reading again....maybe i will start with the dictionary so i might be able to understand half of the words dana says. ah i maybe tired. i am not sure ( Read more... )

i just wrote a very long journal entry. so long it took me almost the entire length of give up the ghost's 'we're down till we're underground' and the whole 'background music'. how i managed that i don't know but i just realized i have been sitting here typing in my journal for over an hour and something and as i was re-reading what i had written ( Read more... )

lately. things have been going well (?) okay. i feel completely alone and isolated. not in the sense of my boyfriend but in the sense of friends. i dont remember what it was like to have any of those. i have known stephanie since kindergarten. i would not consider us friends. friends dont tell everyone you have aids. kristin. i would say yes we are ( Read more... )

today was actually an amazing day. surprising because really i didnt do anything out of the ordinary. i woke up. took jk to lauras. came home and slept until i absolutely had to get up and get ready for work so that i still had time to stop at the bank. stopped at the bank. went to exclusive to kill some time. bad idea because i always end up ( Read more... )

someone once said i need to start writing more positive entries...well to that i say, 'no'. who really decides to sit down and write when nothing is wrong and they have nothing to write about. besides rainbows and butterflies. i hate that when i am so emotional and everything is the worst people just dont get it. stupid little comments and jokes. ( Read more... )

( you dont want to know )