soooo i'm home. because being here is better than being at stonehill.

orientation was fun. there was a lot of people. it was interesting and quite exhausting but not bad. i met some people, which was nice, i really do like the campus a lot. but i'm glad i'm living at home.
i can see why people love living at college but at the same time, i realized ( Read more... )

im going to stonehill tomorrow morning. for a whole 1 1/2 day(s).
i have to get up at 6 and be there between 8 and 9.

then i'm there till tuesday around 3 30 or 4. i'll be home by 5 most likely.

i'm afraid. i will know no one. i'll be alone. i'm shy. i don't really wanna go and i'm scared. it's 5 miles away and it's not far and it's not long...but ( Read more... )

i could talk about tonight.
but in a way, i'm speechless. i'm not sure what to say.
instead, simply, refer to my last entry about irresistible forces.
it says more than i can right now.

what am i suppossed to feel after a night like tonight?
i mean...i know what i do actually feel...but what am i suppossed to? how should i react?
loved? scared? lonely? ( Read more... )

that's the name of the book i'm reading.
think about this though.

are there irresistible forces in life? like uncontrollable forces that just pull you towards someone or something? forces so strong you can't deny them or reject them or push away from them? forces that you just have to give in to cause you have no other choice?

are these irresistible ( Read more... )

 "it wasn't over for me...it still isn't."
the next few days, i have a plan and they're going to simply go like this:
1. father's day...and my creative imagination
2. stonehill...and my worries
3. the love of my life to be in my life. (this one can happen before this point but i'm putting it here because it's important...it'd be better if this ( Read more... )

i wish gizmo wasn't sick.
i wish i could know how people truly felt.
i wish i could know what people thought.
i wish i wasn't this skinny.
i wish i could gain weight.
i wish i did something during the day instead of wait till work.
i wish for surprises. just one.
i wish my cell phone would ring for once.
i wish i was patient.
i wish i had more self control.
( Read more... )

hi.

here are some things i said before and i think i should bring them up again:

"i think that i can't really get upset about things for very long. like days...i can't do it. i don't know why and i don't know if that's good or bad but when something happens, i get upset or mad and then it just goes away. i can't stay sad or mad for that long, at ( Read more... )

nothing i do is good enough. nothing i say is good enough.
at least you know...
that i don't need you.
that i don't want you.
that i don't care.

you can try but i will not.

i guess you're not worth it.
now that i won't be "annoying" you, you can go ahead and think about everything for as long as you'd like. you have all the time in the world now.

graduation was good. hot. but good. i liked most of the speeches and i got so nervous walking across the stage that when i try to remember that moment, it's just like a huge blur to me.

my parents didnt even wait to find me after graduation. everyone else did though.

then i went home and ate, kinda slept/rested with jimmy.

then i went to party all ( Read more... )

i just went to the beach with hillary. it was cloudy but nice.

i'm so exhausted and tired. all i wanna do is sleep but i need to shower and stuff.

i'm graduating in like 4 hours.

i considered and i'm thinking about deleting every entry in my journal. i'll just delete all my old ones. all of them up until like now. or something. maybe i really ( Read more... )