RP for jaggedjared

[starlightfell]

Rebooting the "Elena and Jared talk after they get back from their separate tours in December" idea. It's not all that different, but needed a reset.

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[jaggedjared]

"I know you're scared. E. I know you're scared about messing things up or changing everything between us. Fuck, I'm scared too, honestly. But don't we owe it ourselves to at least fucking try? And if it fucks everything up, then at least we know we gave it a shot and didn't spend our lives wondering what could have happened if we had just gone for it. But I need you to stop running from it. From me. I need you to be present and stay still and give us a chance. Give yourself a chance, even if there's a chance it won't work. Because even if it doesn't work, it's still better than playing this fucking game."

[starlightfell]

She wanted to take her hand back, but she didn't at the same time. Instead she sucked in a breath and looked into his eyes and traced her free hand along the lines of his face. "Jared, I don't want to hurt you and I'm being real here. Because sweet god, I've loved you for as long as I can remember and I've felt like such a fucking hypocrite because I didn't want to say anything. And you say you want me to be present with you but all I can think is that one day ..." she shook her head. "I don't want to hurt you. I love you. I love you so fucking much. And I don't want you to walk in one day and find that I couldn't do it anymore."

[jaggedjared]

He wasn't going to lie. The thought had crossed his mind, and it had hurt him when it did the first time. But hearing her say it now, knowing that it was a real reason she was holding back and not taking that step forward that for him, seemed so clear and easy and logical right now, hurt him on so many other levels.

He leaned forward and took her in his arms without saying anything, drawing her head against his chest as he linked his arms around her shoulders. For a minute, he didn't say anything at all. He just held her tight, breathing in the scent of her shampoo, feeling her breath hit his chest.

"The only way you'd hurt me is if you don't let yourself give this a chance, E. I'm not worried about any of the rest, because it doesn't matter right now. I just know that I fucking love you and I can't spend another day of my life pretending that that's not the case."

[starlightfell]

"That's a lie," she whispered. "It's a lie because you've thought about it too. It's a lie because you're scared about it too. So there's a million ways I can hurt you and I don't want to take the light out of your eyes but I'm fucking selfish and I want to be with you." She wanted to hold onto something but all there was was skin, so she just pressed her face into his chest. "And I know I'm overthinking it and I know I'm not being fair because you're being logical. But I don't fucking deserve you, Jared. I don't."