Your Cowboy Days Are Over (Mammas, Don't Let Your Babies Grow Up To Be Cowboys) by M (NC-17)
Rec Category: Original Character
Pairing: no romantic pairings, John Sheppard/OFC sex
Category: gen, original character, John Sheppard, Teyla Emmagen, Acastus Kolya, AU, drama, angst, character study, het, Rodney McKay, Ronon Dex, Michael
Warning: sex, references to past torture
Author on LJ samdonne
Author's Website: Burchered Art
Link: Your Cowboy Days are Over (Mammas, Don't Let Your Babies Grow Up To Be Cowboys)
Why This Must Be Read: I know this story has been recced all over the place, but it deserves it. This is the fic that got me to start watching Stargate and the first time I read it, I was entirely sucked in even though I knew nothing about the canon. Reading it again after I'd seen the show made it that much better.
Meet Ben, the child John "fathered" with the help of the Wraith in this AU that spins off the season 2 cliffhanger. John and Teyla, with Ben in tow, have fled Atlantis and taken refuge on a planet protected by an Ancient shield. Bajan is safe from the Wraith, but life is by no means easy as they trade John's memories for that protection and Ben becomes increasingly difficult to deal with. Add Acastus Kolya to the mix, along with a small band of refugees all bent on continuing to fight against the Wraith, and you get a masterful story in an intricately created world full of new and familiar characters.
I can't say enough about how amazing and inventive this story is - just make sure you have time when you click on the link because it is long and hard to put down.
The city makes it easy to fall into a routine.
In the morning Teyla stands on a bridge with other day laborers and accepts whatever job will bring home food enough for three. John cleans what needs to be cleaned, washes what needs to be washed, and looks after Ben. In the evenings they sit on the floor in a circle and eat, or, in Ben's case, pretend not to eat. Teyla shares some baffling discovery she made about their adoptive world. John attempts to coax Ben into showing off what he learned that day, and ends up running the commentary of their adventures for Teyla: teaching Ben to count; spelling out the really long words from the first chapter of War and Peace with an alphabet of dry noodles; throwing small black nuts to a bird in the park and ending up feeding the whole colony; sitting on the bed Indian-style, quiet, for a really long time.
At times Ben's lips move along with the retelling.
After dinner they bundle up and take a short stroll to the local market place and its colorful displays of leeches. They linger on the suspended bridges, because Ben likes to look down. John holds Ben's right hand, and only when Ben frowns does John know he's squeezing too tight.
Every twelve standard days, Teyla returns from work early to sit with Ben, and John walks down to their local immigration office to pay the safety tax. He sleeps badly the night before, and sits on the ledge outside their window, watching the itinerant merchants go by.
Choosing which memory to give up is a little harder each time, even if he doesn't remember what he's lost. John has rules: never give up anything big, anything bad, or anything useful. But what if this is it? The seemingly insignificant event that was the key to the whole edifice; the loss that will unravel him completely.
Seated in a chair in the extraction room, John watches the digital monitor on the wall where flat, blurred images play out on a loop.
"That's the one you've settled on," the technician says. "Are you sure?"
John nods, forcing his eyes open when the technician brings the leech up to his neck. The bite doesn't hurt more than the pinprick of a needle, and the stimulation of the neural pathways feels pretty good as it happens, like a shot of nicotine. When the pathways are destroyed, it doesn't feel like anything.
Afterwards, the technician conducts a brief neurological check, asks if he wants to lie down, gives him a cup of blue Jell-O that tastes cloyingly sweet. Then, John is allowed to collect three updated ID keys from his case officer at a desk out front.
On the walk home there is always someone sprawled on a public bench who stares at a breach of sky with tell-tale, vacant eyes. These people need the sweetness of blue Jell-O more than he does, so John gives his cup away and eats at the counter of an ambulatory food cart, shredding pita-like bread into a sugary substance the consistency of yogurt. When the last crumb is gone, John sticks his key in the pay-slot, and a fleet of techno-organic bugs no larger than a fingernail swarm over his bowl, and lick the kitchenware clean to the last molecule.
Sometimes he staggers to a nearby alley and is sick immediately. After a session, John's body thrums like the aftermath of a college weekend of sex and the worst trip he's ever had all rolled into one, so it can be hard to keep the food down.
Back at the resthouse, John has to step over the bodies entwined in the hallway to get to the door. Inside he finds Teyla talking quietly to Ben. The boy is huddled under the windowsill, knees drawn tight to his chest, rocking.
"I'm okay," John says, kneeling in front of Ben but not touching. It's never a good time for a hug, for either of them. "I'm back. It's all right. No one took me away."
John tries to be in bed before the shaking starts. He smiles in thanks when Teyla pulls off his boots and piles their blankets and her coat on top of his body. Before he falls asleep, he's aware of Ben's presence at his back, and of Ben's soft keening.
Pairing: no romantic pairings, John Sheppard/OFC sex
Category: gen, original character, John Sheppard, Teyla Emmagen, Acastus Kolya, AU, drama, angst, character study, het, Rodney McKay, Ronon Dex, Michael
Warning: sex, references to past torture
Author on LJ samdonne
Author's Website: Burchered Art
Link: Your Cowboy Days are Over (Mammas, Don't Let Your Babies Grow Up To Be Cowboys)
Why This Must Be Read: I know this story has been recced all over the place, but it deserves it. This is the fic that got me to start watching Stargate and the first time I read it, I was entirely sucked in even though I knew nothing about the canon. Reading it again after I'd seen the show made it that much better.
Meet Ben, the child John "fathered" with the help of the Wraith in this AU that spins off the season 2 cliffhanger. John and Teyla, with Ben in tow, have fled Atlantis and taken refuge on a planet protected by an Ancient shield. Bajan is safe from the Wraith, but life is by no means easy as they trade John's memories for that protection and Ben becomes increasingly difficult to deal with. Add Acastus Kolya to the mix, along with a small band of refugees all bent on continuing to fight against the Wraith, and you get a masterful story in an intricately created world full of new and familiar characters.
I can't say enough about how amazing and inventive this story is - just make sure you have time when you click on the link because it is long and hard to put down.
The city makes it easy to fall into a routine.
In the morning Teyla stands on a bridge with other day laborers and accepts whatever job will bring home food enough for three. John cleans what needs to be cleaned, washes what needs to be washed, and looks after Ben. In the evenings they sit on the floor in a circle and eat, or, in Ben's case, pretend not to eat. Teyla shares some baffling discovery she made about their adoptive world. John attempts to coax Ben into showing off what he learned that day, and ends up running the commentary of their adventures for Teyla: teaching Ben to count; spelling out the really long words from the first chapter of War and Peace with an alphabet of dry noodles; throwing small black nuts to a bird in the park and ending up feeding the whole colony; sitting on the bed Indian-style, quiet, for a really long time.
At times Ben's lips move along with the retelling.
After dinner they bundle up and take a short stroll to the local market place and its colorful displays of leeches. They linger on the suspended bridges, because Ben likes to look down. John holds Ben's right hand, and only when Ben frowns does John know he's squeezing too tight.
Every twelve standard days, Teyla returns from work early to sit with Ben, and John walks down to their local immigration office to pay the safety tax. He sleeps badly the night before, and sits on the ledge outside their window, watching the itinerant merchants go by.
Choosing which memory to give up is a little harder each time, even if he doesn't remember what he's lost. John has rules: never give up anything big, anything bad, or anything useful. But what if this is it? The seemingly insignificant event that was the key to the whole edifice; the loss that will unravel him completely.
Seated in a chair in the extraction room, John watches the digital monitor on the wall where flat, blurred images play out on a loop.
"That's the one you've settled on," the technician says. "Are you sure?"
John nods, forcing his eyes open when the technician brings the leech up to his neck. The bite doesn't hurt more than the pinprick of a needle, and the stimulation of the neural pathways feels pretty good as it happens, like a shot of nicotine. When the pathways are destroyed, it doesn't feel like anything.
Afterwards, the technician conducts a brief neurological check, asks if he wants to lie down, gives him a cup of blue Jell-O that tastes cloyingly sweet. Then, John is allowed to collect three updated ID keys from his case officer at a desk out front.
On the walk home there is always someone sprawled on a public bench who stares at a breach of sky with tell-tale, vacant eyes. These people need the sweetness of blue Jell-O more than he does, so John gives his cup away and eats at the counter of an ambulatory food cart, shredding pita-like bread into a sugary substance the consistency of yogurt. When the last crumb is gone, John sticks his key in the pay-slot, and a fleet of techno-organic bugs no larger than a fingernail swarm over his bowl, and lick the kitchenware clean to the last molecule.
Sometimes he staggers to a nearby alley and is sick immediately. After a session, John's body thrums like the aftermath of a college weekend of sex and the worst trip he's ever had all rolled into one, so it can be hard to keep the food down.
Back at the resthouse, John has to step over the bodies entwined in the hallway to get to the door. Inside he finds Teyla talking quietly to Ben. The boy is huddled under the windowsill, knees drawn tight to his chest, rocking.
"I'm okay," John says, kneeling in front of Ben but not touching. It's never a good time for a hug, for either of them. "I'm back. It's all right. No one took me away."
John tries to be in bed before the shaking starts. He smiles in thanks when Teyla pulls off his boots and piles their blankets and her coat on top of his body. Before he falls asleep, he's aware of Ben's presence at his back, and of Ben's soft keening.