36
"Backdoor departures."
oneshot, pg, superpower!au.
note; alright, first off: if you're looking for some really nicely structured story with meaningful stuff, you clicked the wrong link! i'm not trying to scare people off but i'm serious, this is not that... consistent. not that my stories ever are consistent. but this one takes the cake. this is just sehan with superpowers and angst and sad things and ye. a lot of sad in here, i think. still, i like it. sorta. anyway i don't know what was i trying to accomplish with that ending. i guess i really didn't want it to be a sad one. this might have some modifications in the future. let's stay positive. *probably not* i hope you enjoy it. (i missed posting stuff sobs)
it's a sunny saturday in the busy streets of the seoul market, with hundreds and hundreds of rushing people, crying children and noisy old ladies making their way through the stalls of clothing, footwear and whatever it is that you need. that's why said market is so popular; no matter what you're trying to find, this is the right place to find it.
what sehun needs to find right now, is a safe place to hide. he runs against a middle aged man, who curses at him at the impact, but sehun can't be bothered to profusely apologize. not when there are about six tall, oversized men chasing him down. they're really like running buildings, he thinks, though he has no breath left in him to laugh at the thought.
he can hear their heavy footsteps approaching him; they sound as if someone were repeatedly dropping stones the size of a microwave to the floor. they push people aside with their bodies, unlike sehun who is able to slid through crowds and crowds of people. they yell for him to stop, and often disperse as if to ambush him.
sehun is glad he was given long legs that were meant for sports, although he had never put them to good use.
sehun keeps running and running, through alleys and streets with less people. he's more vulnerable now. he speeds up his pace, breaths coming short out of his mouth. and then, just when he is starting to think he'll actually make it alive out of this, he sees the street end with a tall, brick built wall. there are no more alleys left, no more lefts or rights to turn to.
he's done for. no more oh sehun, second year of high school, a bit of a slacker, a good friend, a little messy as a son. no more. this is where it ends, having accomplished absolutely nothing in life; his short life, anyway. no perfect grades for his mother to talk about at his funeral. no flawless manners, no good deeds. just oh sehun and his hard drive full of videogames and movies, his pile of comics and his blog.
he stops running eventually, because he can hear those men coming closer and closer from the street he had just taken to end here.
a door opens on the sidewalk of his left. time has eaten up the wooden ends of it, and the blue paint us peeling off in the middle of it. the doorknob is dark brown, a little loose from its handle. a long, slender arm comes out of the local and pulls him in before he can go meet his murderers. he doesn't complain, just whimpers and coughs once he is inside. there are clouds of dust surrounding him, forming around his ankles and climbing to his shoulders. he is quiet, because this person is probably one of those men who were chasing him and he has finally ambushed him successfully.
"there are many doors connecting these locals, let's get you out of here." the man says, and sehun is surprised to hear his words. was this man really going to help him? he can feel his knees trembling; can feel himself on the verge of tears, in the dusty darkness, in front of a merciful stranger. he had never felt so thankful in his life, much less with someone whose face was hard to see through the lightless air. he holds his breath.
"i'll be okay, there's hope- there is-"
"now, don't cry yet. you can pay me back later." the man replies, with a slightly mocking tone.
so they walk through locals and old shops, through the hidden connecting doors, until they are out of the market area, once again in the timeless streets of seoul. no one spares them a glance when they were walking on the sidewalk, sehun faithfully following this stranger, and the stranger strolling calmly, as if it was just a friendly walk around the city.
now that his life isn't about to end and he was finally able to think a little clearly, he thinks it was weird how this man - who is now his savior - had replied to him at the local where he saw him for the first time when sehun hadn't spoken a word.
"that's right," the man says, turning his head to look at him over his shoulder. he has round eyes and cutely shaped lips, with a thin scar falling upon the lower one like a beautiful reminder of something bad that had happened. then, the man turns again to look at the front and keep walking, but says: "you're not the only one with... let's call them, special talents."
•
he is in one of the many rooms of this underground place. to any other person walking on the streets, it's just like every other building. a tattoo shop on the first floor, an odd looking bookstore on the second and a weird looking shop sehun couldn't read the sign of on the third story. however, once you walk through the tattoo shop, there is a narrow hallway that leads to a staircase that takes you down to the first level below.
lu han - his savior - waves and smiles amusedly at the guy behind the counter of the tattoo shop, who has both his ears and lower lip pierced, and a tattoo coming down from behind his ear to his neck. then, lu han leads him down the stairs, to a hall and then to many other stairs until they reach this room. the walls are painted acqua green, the furniture is chocolate brown with details in gold and ocre. most of the furniture looks expensive as hell, which makes sehun wary and a tad bit uneasy.
"what are we doing here?" he asks, with a tiny and thin string of voice. the room is bigger than his house's first floor, there were many rooms that put together completed the whole thing.
"keeping you safe," lu han tells him, with a cheeky smile playing on his lips.
"but why- how did you know those men wanted to kidnap me?" he inquires, frowning confusedly. it literally made no sense, whatsoever.
"because i heard you asking for help. your thoughts were as loud as a firetruck's siren alarm." lu han answers, laughing airily. perhaps he's just trying to conceal the madness of his own words. that must be it. that's why he's laughing so freely. sehun can feel his fingers twitching, and the palms of his hands sweating entire buckets.
"what is this place?" sehun asks, gracing his fingers upon one of the leather seats of the room. lu han motions him to follow with his right hand, while he walks towards one of the divisions of the huge room they're in. sehun obediently follows, mostly because he has no other choice but to stay close to lu han.
"my old home," lu han answers sharply, and sehun quickly gets the hint not to ask any further.
lu han guides him through a couple of doors until he finally reaches what seems to be a common room, which is painted with the same shade of green, and has a few sofas surrounding a small table. there are around four boys sitting on the largest sofa, chatting and snickering among themselves. they all stop once the door opens, they turn their heads to stare at sehun, blatantly ignoring lu han's presence.
"i need a word with you, joonmyun," lu han says, a small smile on his lips. the group of boys arch their brows, curious, to which lu han replies to with a teasing grin, basking in their confusion, "i said joonmyun, you guys. please don't mind us." their stares never leave sehun, analyzing him and hushing about him. sehun can tell there's some sort of competitive air floating above them, surely because they're all dying to know what's what he can do and if he's better than any of them or vice versa.
a couple of eyerolls and scoffs later, one of them gets up and walks towards them. short, black haired, seemingly concerned and polite smile gracing his lips, "hello, my name's joonmyun." he says, offering his right hand. sehun shakes it dumbly, having expected some sort of snarky, bossy remark from him. joonmyun, behind his kind appearance, seems to carry a really responsible air on him.
"i'm sehun, nice to meet you." lu han watches him fumble amusedly from the side, struggling to hold his laughter back.
"he was being chased by an alpha team when i found him. i believe they won't stop until they find him; think he's worth all the effort." lu han says, his voice changing from lively and carefree to severe and apprehensive. it's quite obvious that sehun's situation isn't easy to deal with, and both lu han and joonmyun seem well aware of it. sehun can only imagine.
"the alphas? you must be a big catch, sehun. what can you do?" joonmyun inquires, not wanting to be intrusive nor suspicious. sehun tenses up anyway. a wave of electricity dances and slides from his nape to the valley between his shoulder blades. he had never, ever told anyone about it. he didn't want anyone to know what he was, what he could do. he despised it, despised himself for being the host of a true monster. apart from his mother, who had unfortunately been the witness of it, lu han was the only person who knew. now, though, he guessed those alpha guys knew about it too. it made him nauseated.
lu han shakes his head and shares with joonmyun a secretive look, telling him to withdraw his question for the time being. sehun exhales, unconsciously relieved.
"nevermind, we can discuss that later. you can stay here as long as you want to, sehun, please make yourself at home." joonmyun tells him, a sincere, kind smile being directed at him. it makes sehun feel warm inside. sehun nods and thanks him, feeling less worried than before.
"by the way, it's nice to see you again, lu han." joonmyun says before returning to the room, back to the group of boys. sehun ignores their stares once again, but he can't ignore their hushed so, what about him? questions. they're not even trying to be subtle. lu han chuckles and nods, waving joonmyun off.
"come on, i'll get you a room." lu han says.
they wander around the place for a few minutes. lu han enters a kitchen on the second level down, grabs a tube of cookies and offers one to sehun. "you can come here at any time, just make sure to wash your dishes when no one's looking." sehun nods at his wise advice.
"how long since you came here?" sehun asks, his eyes wandering around. lu han grabs the doorknob of the fourth room in the hall, down at the third level, twists it and stands before the door.
"this is your room. be good and keep it clean. trust me, it's better that way." sehun nods once again. he's sure lu han heard his question, and he's quite certain he knows what he's thinking about, but he doesn't answer anyway.
"now, have your time to settle here. dinner's at 7. i'll see you tomorrow." lu han announces, smiles warmly at him one last time before shutting the door closed. sehun thinks he can't quite thank him enough, but reckons lu han must already know how grateful he is by now. later in the future, he'll find a way to pay him back the favor.
even though the bed is more comfortable than he expected, and the room is as warm as it can get, sehun isn't able to catch a glimpse of sleep during the first night. the whole building seems to be frozen in time, since there's not a single beep of noise outside the walls of his bedroom. he starts feeling as if the world itself had forgotten about his existence in the span of a few hours, the few hours he had spent running through market streets and hiding in different places. that's how he detached himself from the rest.
perhaps he had never been a part of the rest, or what he could now call the normal world. he had never been a common human being, or a human at all. sehun, even as kid, had never felt himself fit into any group of classmates or neighbors. there had always been a thin barrier that he was never able to walk through, and it had always kept him apart from the rest.
this was easier to accept now that he was older and didn't seek for anyone's approval. he had long stopped trying to make new friends, and he only focused on what he liked to do or had to do. or so he liked to believe.
during dinner, joonmyun had introduced him to the other boys that were with him at the common room few hours ago as the new occupant of their home. they all smiled at him, looking friendlier than before, and shook his hand or patted his shoulder as a welcome. kyungsoo was one of them, and he had been the one in charge of cooking that night. baekhyun, who was sitting on his right, advised sehun on keeping kyungsoo happy if he wanted good food like this every other day. a loud laugh echoed in the dining room, and of course it was jongdae's. sehun laughed quietly behind his hand, as joonmyun shook his head amusedly. kyungsoo scoffed and told him he was not the home's cook.
the other people in the room didn't ask his name (he guessed they had already heard from joonmyun who he was) but they didn't seem to exclude him by any means. what sehun liked the most about them was how they seemed to be comfortable around him, even though he was a complete stranger. "it's because they've been in the same situation before." joonmyun told him before leaving the kitchen. sehun nodded wordlessly, and wondered if all of them had gone through the same; if they all had been chased down, or almost gotten caught by someone. if they had put someone they loved in danger. if they had ran away, too. if they were fading into nothing.
joonmyun wished him goodnight and disappeared between those seemingly endless halls and doors.
he closes his eyes and once again tries to sleep, though it's useless. he can still hear his own coarse breaths and those heavy footsteps chasing him down.
•
"let me introduce you to the devil himself," lu han says, a sly grin taking over his lips, raising his hands towards a tall boy, the one he saw in the tattoo shop two days ago. his hair is black, charcoal black, and it seems to match perfectly with his eye circles, "this is jongin." lu han adds.
"you'll soon be able to tell who's the real devil around here," jongin says, raising his eyebrows and tilting his head towards lu han. "see you around, pretty boy." and then he leaves, walking steadily through the room without looking back.
"he's harmless, really." lu han explains once jongin is gone. he grabs one of the wine red cushions and plops on the chocolate couch. sehun imitates him, feeling slightly intrusive, since he's still unfamiliar with the place. he reasons he better get used to it, since it's his home for now. ("or maybe not; they could find you and you'd have to move somewhere else." lu han comments, not meaning to frighten sehun but terribly succeeding at it.)
"he seems interesting." he offers, unable to find a word to better encapsulate what jongin was.
"oh, trust me, he is." lu han replies, laughing coyly. sehun decides to drop it and not inquire any further.
"can i ask you something?" sehun, with a dim voice, asks. lu han hums in response, what sehun interprets as a yes, "why did you leave this place?"
"because i no longer needed their protection. there's always someone else who's in great need of a safe roof to stay under. this is that safe place they all come to. like you." lu han answers, a blank face on. sehun thinks of his house, with thin walls and even thinner ceiling, small rooms and an even smaller kitchen, the one his mother was always complaining about. he thinks of it and is thrown back to the days when his father was still alive and he was still a normal, healthy boy. those days are shady now, they have a hazy film over the colors, and they seem so distant, as if they were only a part of sehun's imagination and had never occurred. sehun swallows the suffocating feeling down and turns to look at lu han.
"i have a home." he states bitterly.
"if you wish to keep it that way, stay away from it. your mother; she's safe. she knows where you are. you need to stay away from her in order to keep her out of their sight," lu han says calmly, eyes staring to a wall, as if on a trance, "it's you who they're desperately looking for, after all."
"she knows?" sehun asks, voice a little choked. he never wanted his mother to think of him as a monster again. he never wanted her to remember what he was, what he could do.
"of course she does, sehun. she is your mother, and she is exactly like you." lu han assures him, turning his small face to look at him, a small smile seeping through his lips. sehun is both a little baffled and a little scared, be it for the hint of his mother being exactly like him, what he is, or be it for the way lu han seems to be made out of porcelain, void of life, unreal.
•
one lazy afternoon, joonmyun walks into the room, and with a serene smile tells them to go to the meeting room in ten minutes. lu han accepts and gets to his feet fast, then tells him he'll go get something to drink. sehun waits in the room, tapping his finger against his knee, feeling nauseated.
once they get to the main common room, he can tell something's wrong. lu han seems to know it, too. the amused glint of his eyes vanishes completely as he nears the table behind the sofas and stands next to a tall, light haired man.
"wu fan? is something wrong?" he asks. the tall man turns around to face him and then his eyes land on sehun. there's a worried expression on his face, all strong features slightly contorted. he doesn't say a word, just stares at him. at some point, his worry morphs into some sort of pity, and sehun gulps down warily.
"they've tracked you down," lu han tells sehun, placing his hand on sehun's elbow, "we need to leave."
"what do you mean 'we'?" wu fan asks. lu han bites his lip in thought, turns to look at joonmyun and takes a deep breath. the latter nods understandingly.
"i'm not leaving him alone." lu han states, as a matter of fact.
•
the sky is coated in black, ready to attack at any moment. the bus they took is, in lu han's opinion, the rattiest ever, and although sehun agrees, he does not complain. sehun is absorbed staring out the window he was sitting next to, oblivious to the creaking seats, the smelly old man sitting on the seat behind theirs, the chattering ladies around them.
he feels himself stretching, leaving a part of himself in this city, yet going away at the same time, closing his eyes and apologizing to the city that had kept him captive all of his life, abandoning everything he knew. he is an elastic band, unable to leave completely, though eager to do so, quite subtly. lu han plays the role of the hands that pull him from this side and the other, taking him somewhere else to keep him safe, helping him stay hidden.
"are you alright?" lu han asks, jarring him out of his thoughts. sehun nods, feeling a bit lost at the sight behind lu han's face. the rusty metal walls of the bus, the bouncing crystals on the windows. he looks into lu han's eyes and smiles lopsidedly.
"yeah, i'm good." sehun assures him.
"you'll come back one day. this is not definitive." lu han says, smiling to himself. sehun is yet not used to the fact that lu han hears all of his thoughts, that lu han pretty much feels what he feels, but at least it doesn't freak him out anymore. lu han is the closest thing to a friend he has now. much more than a friend, if he were to be honest. he's more like a second mindset.
he decides to let himself fall into the welcoming arms of slumber, hugs his backpack and rests his forehead against the window.
sehun wakes up when the bus drives over a bump on the road and his head bounces painfully on lu han's shoulder. lu han laughs quietly, his eyes blinking slowly as he rests his head back on the seat.
"i can't sleep," he says before sehun can even articulate his question, "the old lady over there hasn't seen her son in weeks and is worried to dead, the man over there is worried his wife might have found out he's been cheating on her, the girl in front of him might be pregnant. i can't sleep. " and then he smiles absentmindedly.
sehun rummages through his jean pockets and fishes his phone earphones out. he wasn't supposed to bring his phone with him in order to avoid being tracked once again, but he had convinced joonmyun of letting him take it with him as long as it remained turned off. he offers the earphones to lu han with a shy, not-sure-what-i'm-doing smile.
lu han laughs genuinely, throwing his head back, "it doesn't work like that, but thank you." sehun nods and turns his head to the window before lu han can turn to face him. he just hopes the intense blush spreading over his cheeks doesn't reach down to his neck.
they get off endless stations later, and god, sehun has absolutely no idea where he's standing. he's never really been fond of traveling, much less alone. the only trips he's ever taken were family trips to visit some aunt he had no idea was his relative. lu han walks down the sidewalk, wandering eyes absorbing the street lights.
"what now," sehun sighs. he looks around and sees most of the street shops are already closed, which means this town is not a night town at all. back in seoul, the city breathes light at any hour, whether it's sunlight or not. sehun is used to walking down the streets at night and struggling to move in through the crowds in the sidewalk. he's used to the chattering at the cafes, the movie theaters, the shopping malls.
"let's get something to eat first," lu han suggests.
it's almost half past nine when they find a 24/7 café, right across a somewhat tall building. if he's right, that's the first building higher than three floors he's seen since he got here.
"we're only staying here for the night." lu han says, as he pulls his chair and plops down on it. sehun sits down, too, and looks at the empty counter for someone to take their orders. they're completely alone until a door flies open from behind the counter and a middle aged man nears their table.
they order a cheeseburger and a sandwich, both accompanied with coffee. sehun crosses his arms on the table and hides his face between them, using them as a pillow. lu han is reading a magazine he saw on the table next to theirs.
"alright," lu han says, putting the magazine down, "i'm still learning to block your thoughts, so i can still hear you thinking. you have way too many questions, but go ahead. ask me anything." he says, lips curved into a tiny smile.
"tell me your story," he says.
their orders arrive before lu han can start talking, but as soon as the waiter leaves, he begins.
"i found the home when i was fifteen. i ran away from my home when i was fourteen. i met jongin before i turned fifteen and we got to the home together. he had left his house, too. that's pretty much my story." lu han says, then takes a big bite out of his cheeseburger.
"why did you run away?" sehun inquires, frowning deeply. he notices the way lu han tenses up at the question, but he still waits for an answer. he tries to imagine what would it be like to run away from home at such young age, but is unable to. he grew up with his mother and step father. he hated his step father, but there was nothing he could do against him. he never thought of leaving home before.
"aren't you hungry? because i am." lu han quickly takes it off a tangent and continues chewing on his food. sehun sighs resignedly and takes his sandwich. they continue eating in silence, ask for the bill and both pay their share.
after walking a few blocks, they find a cheap motel with available rooms. the receptionist stares at them confusedly, and her jaw falls slack to the floor when lu han tells her that one room is just fine. sehun doesn't protest, since he's too busy staring at the paintings hanging on the wall. they're simply terrible.
when sehun comes out of their tiny bathroom, lu han is already snoring, face buried between his arms, on the right side of the bed. sehun considers waking him up and telling him the shower is available, but he doesn't have the heart to do so. he softly takes lu han's sneakers off him and pulls up the covers.
it's around two a.m. and he can't manage to sleep yet. there's a storm outside, it came out of nowhere. he's sitting on the floor, cross-legged and facing the window. the wooden frames of it creak slightly every time a particularly strong breeze pushes against it, the sound it makes keeps him entertained. maybe it's just that everything seems more important after two a.m.
he hadn't given it much thought, up until now. the cold is seeping through his pants, and his bones hurt a little from being like that for a long time, but he ignores the buzzing sensation. instead, he begins thinking of this- whatever it is they're doing. running away. hiding away. truth to be told, sehun feels like he's being washed away. he knows it's not like that, but it does feel like someone just grabbed him and shook him a little before telling him the bad news. these people want you you need to disappear before they find you you're in danger. and it's too much for him, so he stays still and lets it flow through him. we're going to clean this messy spot where you used to be and make you fade away you need to stay away from her.
he feels the distance, and the pressure, and the fear, from one second to another. he starts panicking; breaths harsh and ragged. the room is too small and the walls are see-through. there's no air coming to his lungs. this goes on until someone shakes his shoulders and he blinks back to this world.
"what the fuck, sehun, breathe," lu han hisses at him. and breathe he does. it takes a few seconds, but finally his vision sharpens and it's normal once again, and the colors go back to their rightful places, and the room has finally stopped shrinking and squishing him. he doesn't realize he's panting.
"come to bed," lu han tells him and pulls him up. lu han's hands are warm compared to his own.
•
apparently, sehun had missed something. when he was told that he needed to leave he had assumed they'd hop in a bus and get to whatever city was best. that they'd stay in a hotel a week or two and then come and hope for things to be calm once again. he had clearly missed that bit of information where they told him they were going to hitch-hike and don't stop until it was safe for him; which wouldn't be too soon, lu han had said. a week or two, if not longer, per town. they wouldn't use any credit cards, nor personal phones, they wouldn't buy or sign anything that would left a trace of them. in every hotel, a fake name, pay in cash.
so they're sitting on the back of a creaking truck. the married couple in the front had thought they were just some sad teenagers trying to go back home and had kindly let them hop on. the ride is only an hour or so, because the couple is going to take a curve down the road, which is on the other side of the town they were planning to go to.
"they're really nice people," lu han says thirty minutes after they got on.
"what are they thinking?" sehun asks, mildly interested. his head lolls to the side and a bump on the road makes it collide against the window. lu han laughs, though the sound is swallowed by the wind before it can fill sehun's ears.
"well, she's convinced we're going to visit our family. she feels pity; poor lonely kids, she thinks," lu han tells him, pouting and shifting his brows to a really mock-worried expression, "and the man still thinks we're homeless druggies but he's too nice to show it." and sehun laughs, loud and rich, for what feels like the first time in months. he doesn't feel apprehensive of being heard at all because he knows his voice is not that strong and can be easily dragged away when the truck speeds up.
"i like your laugh," lu han comments. sehun looks at him, a blank face on. then he curves his lips upwards, just a tiny bit, and huffs, a very very controlled laugh. but he is laughing harder inside, though he's not really sure why. perhaps it's all the cold air getting into his head.
there's something quite addictive about this air, he notices. it's reckless and the sound it carries is nothing he's ever heard before. it's loud, and it sounds like a waterfall right under the truck's wheels, and it muses his hair and brushes his skin. it must be cause there are no buildings trapping it. there are no other cars trying to be louder than it. there's only the road and the moody sky and lu han next to him.
when the truck slows down and fully stops, right in front of a gas station, they jump off it and thank the couple through the window.
"don't you kids have classes?" the lady asks them. sehun freezes for a second, since the question has been aimed at him ("you must be the older brother," the woman said, "you look like a serious kid."), and parted his lips to answer, though lu han was faster to shake his head and flash the woman a beaming smile.
"we have a few days off, m'am. we'll be back on time." and with that, they bid the couple goodbye.
they walk a few blocks on this quiet, side-of-the-road town. the houses here had hardly any color at all, and some parts of the streets were cracked and seemed to have been abandoned long time ago. sehun stares at the pavement and thinks of how things seem to break on their own when there's no one to take care of them, and how time seems to be heavier than any other truck, and how it breaks roads in half from one night to the other.
it's funny because he can relate a little to those sad streets.
•
three or four side-of-the-road cities after, the sky is already tinted purple at the edges, so they decide to stop for the day and find a nice place to sleep. they can't be picky, though, so they give up on the 'nice part. they find this hole-in-the-wall hotel with about five rooms that is cheap and doesn't smell of any suspicious substances. what they're having for dinner tonight are burritos, nachos and sodas from the convenience store.
"where exactly are we heading?" sehun asks, ripping one of the corners of the little plastic bag of hot sauce that comes with the burrito.
"north, though i'm not really sure. there's another home up there." lu han tells him before taking a bit bite off his burrito. he seems to be enjoying it like it's some sort of high-class dish of mexican cuisine. sehun chuckles softly to himself.
"i heard that," lu han says, scowling childishly.
"i thought you could block my thoughts off?"
"only when i'm focused on doing so. and i am eating right now." lu han explains.
sehun shrugs and keeps on eating. they let a light silence cast over them, and it's pretty comfortable to say the least. it kind of feels like when you're having dinner with your mother, and you know she's put a lot of effort into the food, and you eat it and hum like it's the greatest thing your taste buds have ever had even though it's way too salty, and your mother knows you're doing this, and she's smiling to herself. and it's pretty comfortable, too. there's no tension, and there's nothing to be said.
"i don't know how's that," lu han says out loud, "i never had dinner with mom like that." and sehun is confused as to why he's saying this.
"well, i-" sehun begins, nervously.
"don't worry," lu han chews, swallows, smiles, "you love her a lot, don't you?" and then there's this really nostalgic mask on his face, though it's transparent and thin, but it's still there. sehun nods, wordlessly. what could he say? he loved her to death. she had always put him before her. still, he couldn't bring himself to spill all these words out here. miles away from her. hiding in a wall hole, eating microwaved food.
"look, there's no need to pity me, alright? i left home because i couldn't stand it. i didn't grow in a loving family. i never felt any longing for one, either. so, chill." lu han tells him, an unwavering tone of voice. and he sounds so determined. sehun wills himself to stop thinking at all.
"can i ask you something?" sehun says, after clearing his throat. that sauce was damn spicy. lu han nods, eating some nachos, "you said my mother knew because she is exactly like me, is there- is there anything i need to know about her?" he feels dumb asking, but it's necessary. he's probably missing half of the story behind all of this, and it drives him up the wall.
"i'm not sure if i should be the one to tell you-"
"-please, tell me," he pleads. lu han sighs resignedly, licks his fingers clean and with a soft, mellow voice, he tells sehun about how his whole life had been a very elaborated cover up.
•
a family of three had dropped them off in a rather big city at half past noon. now, lu han tells him they have to wait here, because jongin can't find them if they're on a car, in the middle of god knows where. so, they wait, sitting on a rusty bench, in a park that was the size of a block. sehun's not really sure how jongin is going to meet them up here, or if he had followed them, or if he had a private plane.
lu han stiffens and closes his eyes, "are you alright?" sehun splutters, but lu han doesn't seem to hear. and then, completely out of nowhere, jongin materializes right in front of him. small trails of black smoke curling around him, vanishing into nothing after a few seconds. his chest is heaving, and he grins at sehun's baffled expression.
"hi there." says jongin.
then, lu han takes in a deep breath and opens his eyes. "it's been a while since i did that." he says, a winning smile taking over his rosy lips.
jongin later explains to him that when they were younger, lu han had learned how to track jongin's mind, even if they were in different places, and how jongin had managed to find lu han's mind in that black place that doesn't exist in this world, which is the place he goes to when he closes his eyes and disappears for a few seconds. with a wide grin, he proudly says it's something only he and lu han can do, and sehun's jaw tightens and he nods in awe.
"it's really draining, though." lu han admits, his eyelids dropping heavily.
"i'm sorry," jongin says, turning to face lu han. they're in a small café, eating buttered biscuits. lu han looks up to meet jongin's eyes and shakes his head, smiling warmly. sehun knows it's not his business, but he can't help to notice. these two have something- a strong bond, a tight knot around their ankles, keeping them together.
they're close friends, sehun concludes. they could be a thousand miles away and they'd still share this; they'd share the pain and the cold and the relief of being home again, together. they'd share the same stories and they'd have the same mistakes and they'd share this great bond that completely overpowers friendship.
and sehun tries really hard to ignore the strange loneliness that begins flooding him inside.
•
they decide to take a train to get out of this city instead of hitch-hiking. after this really awkward experience with this weird man than kept thinking about them naked, lu han had said it'd be better if they'd leave the roadways for a couple of days. so they're in the train, quietly sitting shoulder to shoulder.
jongin had left the same day he found them, saying he needed to go back to tell joonmyun about their whereabouts. he gave them some cash, too, because they were running low and still had a long trip ahead of them. he had laughed and lu han had punched his arm playfully. jongin had also talked to sehun, and he seemed genuinely interested in him. sehun couldn't deny he had this sort of- strange, nerve-wrecking interest in jongin.
like, he saw jongin and the way his hooded eyes wandered everywhere and they'd still look the same, all sleepy and arrogant, and he felt the need to look into them and understand what was so different about him that made sehun's breath hitch.
he really hoped lu han had his thoughts blocked off because, in all honesty, said thoughts were embarrassing.
jongin also seemed to be open to tell him more about lu han than lu han himself, so he took advantage of that and listened carefully to the details jongin was willingly sharing, promptly ignoring lu han, who had been sitting next to him.
"there's also this weird thing he does, like he finds a certain person in your memories, and sees them, and if he focuses enough, he can also read their minds. he finds them in the real world and isn't that fucking awesome?" jongin said, eyes going wide and round. sehun nodded, and finally understood how lu han had found out about his mother's special talents.
it turned out she had sehun's ability, though it wasn't as powerful. lu han hadn't elaborated on what they could do, and for that sehun was thankful, because he didn't want to think of his mother as one of his kind. and he certainly didn't want jongin to think about him as a monster. that was too much for him to take. besides, his mother was all crinkly eyesmiles and peachy perfumes, hearty laughter and flowery dresses. there was no way she-
"you could say it's in your genes," lu han had told him, "that man- the one she married after you were born, he was a sealer. he had no idea of this, of course. but he was a powerful one, and your mother needed him to keep you hidden-"
"a sealer?" sehun asked.
"some people have the ability to cover other people's powers. they're like- like blankets to hide under. they seal you out as long as you're around them." jongin had helpfully said.
there are some school girls on the train, with their pink headphones and their fake lashes, businessmen with their wrinkly suits and lolling heads, and some other people; just normal, barely noticeable people. sehun is staring out of the window, to the blurry lights from outside. he's currently going through one of those phases, where he feels he's nothing but air, and his mind is heavier than ever, and his body is nothing but one of those blurry and unstable, flickering lights behind the window.
these phases scare him. he could turn into dust in the blink of an eye. one breath more and he'd crumble down. one more heartbeat, and his whole being would collapse to the ground. the fragility he feels might destroy him one day. there are times when he just looks at his reflection, or even his own hands, and he fails to remember his name. this instantly throws him into a valley of cloudy who am i's and foggy why am i here's.
it's not nice at all.
when they reach the next station, lu han jumps out of their seat, which startles him out of his vague, wandering thoughts. a few people turn around to look at him, and then there's a beeping sound and the doors start sliding to open.
"shit-- they're here." he pulls sehun up, who's all confused and shaky.
once the doors are fully open, more people start lining in, and sehun feels a sharp pain run up his right arm to his shoulder. there's a big, hot hand strangling his arm. and then, lu han is shouting and pushing through people.
"don't move, child," another man stands in front of lu han, and the latter freezes on the spot. sehun's heart is speeding up, and his vision is turning blurry, and he's so scared he might faint. however, he thinks of lu han, and lu han is in danger, too, so he blinks the panic away and looks around for him.
people start dispersing on the wagon, and then he sees they're surrounded by other five people in suits, and one of them has lu han, and there's nothing he can do to help him.
the man smirks down at lu han and lu han smiles up at him. what are you doing--, sehun wants to yell. then, the man's eyes go wide and white, and he covers his ears, falls to his knees and begins trembling. he's shouting his throat raw, and his voice breaks, and his words turn into painful groans and blabbering.
before sehun can do anything, the other suited men fall to the ground and start crying out, too, and lu han pulls him and then shoves him out of the train.
•
after running through the indifferent streets of this unknown city, they find a motel. they shouldn't waste their money on this, but lu han insists on hiding one day before leaving. tomorrow, they'll definitely get as far as possible, because lu han believes the people chasing them - alphas, sehun recalls - might have trackers with them.
"i think i can block them, but they might have more than one." lu han tells him.
"i still don't know how that works," sehun lamely blurts out. lu han stops frowning and turns to look at him. his shoulders sag, he sighs, and he smiles up at sehun. something twists inside of him, and it's like an electric volt that tickles his skin.
"that's okay." lu han assures him, and oh, how he wishes it was okay. how he wishes he could just go home and eat his mom's salty food and finish his essays and pretend to study for his exams. then things would be okay. he knows it's not the right thing to feel like this, but he's starting to feel really really tired of everything- and even more tired of himself. lu han's just trying to help him, and here he is, already starting to feel down, almost ready to give up.
"don't even!" lu han shrieks, having read his mind; sometimes he forgets lu han can't focus and block his thoughts out when he's eating. lu han grabs his chopsticks and pinches the back of his hand, and sehun winces.
"ow, that- that was uncalled for, christ," he says, rubbing circles on his reddening skin.
"she's kept you safe your whole life. now, do this for her, yeah? don't let her efforts go to waste and be safe. you'll be safe." lu han tells him, looking down at his food. at first, sehun's not sure what he means, but it doesn't take him long to know what lu han's talking about. he's not sure why, either, but he believes every word lu han says.
"i'm sorry." he mumbles. lu han tells him it's fine and they continue eating. that night, sehun falls asleep first, while lu han is absentmindedly changing through the t.v. channels, even though they're like 16 channels, and he's been looping through them for hours.
•
"i'm glad i can hear your thoughts, sehun. if i couldn't, i wouldn't know how interesting you actually are." lu han says, a small grin dancing on his lips.
"i've never been talkative." sehun replies, like it's some sort of excuse. lu han chuckles and nods.
"i know that."
"you know more about myself than i do." sehun thinks, and then says it aloud, because he can't always communicate through his thoughts. he might as well start voicing everything out. lu han hears him anyway.
"i tend to do that. don't know why, though," and then he laughs.
•
sehun has lost track of the time they've been hopping from town to town. he's already used to the catnaps between old, creaking trains and cheap cafés, and to the easy conversations with kind strangers that accepted to give them a ride. he's already used to lu han sneaking his arms around his waist to keep him close, and how he whispers things into his ear, as if anyone else could hear him. sehun doubts people even notice them, but he lets lu han have things his way.
when it's dark and cold and the hoodies they've brought along with them aren't enough, sehun misses home. he misses his mother's laugh and how she always encouraged him to make some friends at school. sehun would like to tell her he's made two friends now, but obviously he can't. he can't tell her how the sky looks different depending on which district you are. he can't tell her how train station restrooms aren't as dirty as she'd thought.
he can't tell her about lu han and his mischievous, satisfied smiles. he can't tell her he feels alive now.
in fact, it'd be better if she never heard of him again.
he's been thinking about this for days now. ever since jongin visited them again and told them about the home being attacked by alpha teams. jongin said the boys were okay, only a few scratches here and there. but sehun didn't believe him. lu han didn't say anything except: "it's not your fault."
"we had wu fan and tao with us, trust me, the intruders were more affected than us." jongin commented, smiling cautiously. he kept looking to meet sehun's eyes, but sehun couldn't bring himself to look up at jongin and not feel ashamed.
•
it happens in one of those towns that aren't exactly modern, yet seem to be really popular among young people, with their old looking cafés, worn down book stores and vintage clothes shops. sehun enjoys the somewhat nice, relaxed air of the little town they're in. they rent a room for a night, one bed and one bathroom because those are cheaper, and at this point, they don't mind sharing their bed and shoving at each other for mirror view while brushing their teeth every morning.
he's walking alone now. perhaps it's a bad thing that's he's like this, surrounded by people that don't notice him. people that laugh and smile and shove him aside to keep walking. it's on moments like these when sehun fears himself the most, because he begins falling into an endless loop of insanity driven by loneliness that no one can really stop. no one else can really see it. there's just a stoic face and a thin line of a mouth no one cares enough about to read.
it's in moments like these when he feels like crying. like dropping down to his knees and clutching at his chest, looking for something else to feel rather than this dry sadness that overwhelms him.
he holds the paper bag in his hand a little tighter and speeds his pace up. there are two warm sandwiches inside, and on his other hand, he holds a tiny paper tray holding two cups of coffee. he had lost a rock, paper, scissors game and had been ordered by lu han to find some tasty sandwiches for dinner while he watched comedy shows on the tiny t.v. of the room. now that he thinks of it, it had been foolish of him to play that kind of game with lu han.
he walks into the barely noticeable hotel, keeps his eyes glued to his own shoes when he notices the girl at the reception making eyes at him and climbs up the stairs. when his eyes find the door to their room hanging open, doorknob turned into a pulp of golden clay, he knows why lu han had been so persistent for him to go find food alone.
he drops everything he's holding and storms into the room. lu han is sitting on a wooden chair, placed right in front of the tiny bed; a tall, skinny man is holding both sides of his head with flat hands, covering his ears and pressing his fingertips against lu han's temples. what scares him the most is that lu han's eyes are completely white, his lips are slightly parted and there's drool dripping off them.
"glad you're back, sehun," a second man says. the man crosses his legs, slowly, and takes a drag of his cigarrette, scrutinizing sehun under his round, gray eyes, "lu han, as you can see, is dying to see you." the man grins widely, smoke dancing out of his mouth.
sehun is shaking now, his knees seemingly frozen at the fright. he notices a third man standing by the bathroom door, leaning on the wall with his arms crossed in front of his chest. three of them. lu han knew they were coming, he thinks angrily, biting crescents into his dry lips.
"let go of him," he says, slow and emphasized. the man holding lu han's head flashes him a smile and moves lu han's head from side to side, mouthing a 'no' with his own lips.
"you know?, that'd be the cool thing to do. the whole let go of him, it's me who you want! act," the man on the bed says, getting on his feet quick, "but no, we aren't here to pull some sort of hero movies moves. we'll kill him and knock you out. we'll drag you to our car like the smelly bag of meat you are." and then, he throws the half smoked cigarette to the air and it turns into ashes in the blink of an eye.
"i don't think you should make him angry." the third one comments, narrowing his eyes. he was right.
sehun's vision has long gone blurry. the sounds around him sound like they're a thousand miles away, yet they're still clear in his ears. each color fades into another and each shape morphs into a different one and they slide out of their place and do strange motions around him. the heat emanating from his body manages to burn his skin, ever so slightly, and the trembling has gone from his hands to every single one of his muscles.
the monster inside of him is now angry, too.
the amusement has faded into worry in that man's face.
•
sehun can't remember much. if anything, he can only recall shouting and the sound of bones breaking, which makes him nauseated. he's holding lu han on his lap now, holding his head close to him. lu han's eyelids flutter every now and then, but he hasn't woken up yet.
sehun isn't sure how he can explain what happened when he himself has no idea, either. there are three crippled bodies scattered on the floor. their shapes are hardly humanoid anymore, their legs, ankles and arms pointing to different directions. there's blood on the walls, on the tiled floor and even on the little furniture the cheap room had. what's weirder is the fact that there isn't a single cut on the bodies, nor there is a single stain of blood in sehun's hands.
sehun feels a cold shiver run down his body as the thought rushes back to his mind.
•
part ii.
oneshot, pg, superpower!au.
note; alright, first off: if you're looking for some really nicely structured story with meaningful stuff, you clicked the wrong link! i'm not trying to scare people off but i'm serious, this is not that... consistent. not that my stories ever are consistent. but this one takes the cake. this is just sehan with superpowers and angst and sad things and ye. a lot of sad in here, i think. still, i like it. sorta. anyway i don't know what was i trying to accomplish with that ending. i guess i really didn't want it to be a sad one. this might have some modifications in the future. let's stay positive. *probably not* i hope you enjoy it. (i missed posting stuff sobs)
it's a sunny saturday in the busy streets of the seoul market, with hundreds and hundreds of rushing people, crying children and noisy old ladies making their way through the stalls of clothing, footwear and whatever it is that you need. that's why said market is so popular; no matter what you're trying to find, this is the right place to find it.
what sehun needs to find right now, is a safe place to hide. he runs against a middle aged man, who curses at him at the impact, but sehun can't be bothered to profusely apologize. not when there are about six tall, oversized men chasing him down. they're really like running buildings, he thinks, though he has no breath left in him to laugh at the thought.
he can hear their heavy footsteps approaching him; they sound as if someone were repeatedly dropping stones the size of a microwave to the floor. they push people aside with their bodies, unlike sehun who is able to slid through crowds and crowds of people. they yell for him to stop, and often disperse as if to ambush him.
sehun is glad he was given long legs that were meant for sports, although he had never put them to good use.
sehun keeps running and running, through alleys and streets with less people. he's more vulnerable now. he speeds up his pace, breaths coming short out of his mouth. and then, just when he is starting to think he'll actually make it alive out of this, he sees the street end with a tall, brick built wall. there are no more alleys left, no more lefts or rights to turn to.
he's done for. no more oh sehun, second year of high school, a bit of a slacker, a good friend, a little messy as a son. no more. this is where it ends, having accomplished absolutely nothing in life; his short life, anyway. no perfect grades for his mother to talk about at his funeral. no flawless manners, no good deeds. just oh sehun and his hard drive full of videogames and movies, his pile of comics and his blog.
he stops running eventually, because he can hear those men coming closer and closer from the street he had just taken to end here.
a door opens on the sidewalk of his left. time has eaten up the wooden ends of it, and the blue paint us peeling off in the middle of it. the doorknob is dark brown, a little loose from its handle. a long, slender arm comes out of the local and pulls him in before he can go meet his murderers. he doesn't complain, just whimpers and coughs once he is inside. there are clouds of dust surrounding him, forming around his ankles and climbing to his shoulders. he is quiet, because this person is probably one of those men who were chasing him and he has finally ambushed him successfully.
"there are many doors connecting these locals, let's get you out of here." the man says, and sehun is surprised to hear his words. was this man really going to help him? he can feel his knees trembling; can feel himself on the verge of tears, in the dusty darkness, in front of a merciful stranger. he had never felt so thankful in his life, much less with someone whose face was hard to see through the lightless air. he holds his breath.
"i'll be okay, there's hope- there is-"
"now, don't cry yet. you can pay me back later." the man replies, with a slightly mocking tone.
so they walk through locals and old shops, through the hidden connecting doors, until they are out of the market area, once again in the timeless streets of seoul. no one spares them a glance when they were walking on the sidewalk, sehun faithfully following this stranger, and the stranger strolling calmly, as if it was just a friendly walk around the city.
now that his life isn't about to end and he was finally able to think a little clearly, he thinks it was weird how this man - who is now his savior - had replied to him at the local where he saw him for the first time when sehun hadn't spoken a word.
"that's right," the man says, turning his head to look at him over his shoulder. he has round eyes and cutely shaped lips, with a thin scar falling upon the lower one like a beautiful reminder of something bad that had happened. then, the man turns again to look at the front and keep walking, but says: "you're not the only one with... let's call them, special talents."
•
he is in one of the many rooms of this underground place. to any other person walking on the streets, it's just like every other building. a tattoo shop on the first floor, an odd looking bookstore on the second and a weird looking shop sehun couldn't read the sign of on the third story. however, once you walk through the tattoo shop, there is a narrow hallway that leads to a staircase that takes you down to the first level below.
lu han - his savior - waves and smiles amusedly at the guy behind the counter of the tattoo shop, who has both his ears and lower lip pierced, and a tattoo coming down from behind his ear to his neck. then, lu han leads him down the stairs, to a hall and then to many other stairs until they reach this room. the walls are painted acqua green, the furniture is chocolate brown with details in gold and ocre. most of the furniture looks expensive as hell, which makes sehun wary and a tad bit uneasy.
"what are we doing here?" he asks, with a tiny and thin string of voice. the room is bigger than his house's first floor, there were many rooms that put together completed the whole thing.
"keeping you safe," lu han tells him, with a cheeky smile playing on his lips.
"but why- how did you know those men wanted to kidnap me?" he inquires, frowning confusedly. it literally made no sense, whatsoever.
"because i heard you asking for help. your thoughts were as loud as a firetruck's siren alarm." lu han answers, laughing airily. perhaps he's just trying to conceal the madness of his own words. that must be it. that's why he's laughing so freely. sehun can feel his fingers twitching, and the palms of his hands sweating entire buckets.
"what is this place?" sehun asks, gracing his fingers upon one of the leather seats of the room. lu han motions him to follow with his right hand, while he walks towards one of the divisions of the huge room they're in. sehun obediently follows, mostly because he has no other choice but to stay close to lu han.
"my old home," lu han answers sharply, and sehun quickly gets the hint not to ask any further.
lu han guides him through a couple of doors until he finally reaches what seems to be a common room, which is painted with the same shade of green, and has a few sofas surrounding a small table. there are around four boys sitting on the largest sofa, chatting and snickering among themselves. they all stop once the door opens, they turn their heads to stare at sehun, blatantly ignoring lu han's presence.
"i need a word with you, joonmyun," lu han says, a small smile on his lips. the group of boys arch their brows, curious, to which lu han replies to with a teasing grin, basking in their confusion, "i said joonmyun, you guys. please don't mind us." their stares never leave sehun, analyzing him and hushing about him. sehun can tell there's some sort of competitive air floating above them, surely because they're all dying to know what's what he can do and if he's better than any of them or vice versa.
a couple of eyerolls and scoffs later, one of them gets up and walks towards them. short, black haired, seemingly concerned and polite smile gracing his lips, "hello, my name's joonmyun." he says, offering his right hand. sehun shakes it dumbly, having expected some sort of snarky, bossy remark from him. joonmyun, behind his kind appearance, seems to carry a really responsible air on him.
"i'm sehun, nice to meet you." lu han watches him fumble amusedly from the side, struggling to hold his laughter back.
"he was being chased by an alpha team when i found him. i believe they won't stop until they find him; think he's worth all the effort." lu han says, his voice changing from lively and carefree to severe and apprehensive. it's quite obvious that sehun's situation isn't easy to deal with, and both lu han and joonmyun seem well aware of it. sehun can only imagine.
"the alphas? you must be a big catch, sehun. what can you do?" joonmyun inquires, not wanting to be intrusive nor suspicious. sehun tenses up anyway. a wave of electricity dances and slides from his nape to the valley between his shoulder blades. he had never, ever told anyone about it. he didn't want anyone to know what he was, what he could do. he despised it, despised himself for being the host of a true monster. apart from his mother, who had unfortunately been the witness of it, lu han was the only person who knew. now, though, he guessed those alpha guys knew about it too. it made him nauseated.
lu han shakes his head and shares with joonmyun a secretive look, telling him to withdraw his question for the time being. sehun exhales, unconsciously relieved.
"nevermind, we can discuss that later. you can stay here as long as you want to, sehun, please make yourself at home." joonmyun tells him, a sincere, kind smile being directed at him. it makes sehun feel warm inside. sehun nods and thanks him, feeling less worried than before.
"by the way, it's nice to see you again, lu han." joonmyun says before returning to the room, back to the group of boys. sehun ignores their stares once again, but he can't ignore their hushed so, what about him? questions. they're not even trying to be subtle. lu han chuckles and nods, waving joonmyun off.
"come on, i'll get you a room." lu han says.
they wander around the place for a few minutes. lu han enters a kitchen on the second level down, grabs a tube of cookies and offers one to sehun. "you can come here at any time, just make sure to wash your dishes when no one's looking." sehun nods at his wise advice.
"how long since you came here?" sehun asks, his eyes wandering around. lu han grabs the doorknob of the fourth room in the hall, down at the third level, twists it and stands before the door.
"this is your room. be good and keep it clean. trust me, it's better that way." sehun nods once again. he's sure lu han heard his question, and he's quite certain he knows what he's thinking about, but he doesn't answer anyway.
"now, have your time to settle here. dinner's at 7. i'll see you tomorrow." lu han announces, smiles warmly at him one last time before shutting the door closed. sehun thinks he can't quite thank him enough, but reckons lu han must already know how grateful he is by now. later in the future, he'll find a way to pay him back the favor.
even though the bed is more comfortable than he expected, and the room is as warm as it can get, sehun isn't able to catch a glimpse of sleep during the first night. the whole building seems to be frozen in time, since there's not a single beep of noise outside the walls of his bedroom. he starts feeling as if the world itself had forgotten about his existence in the span of a few hours, the few hours he had spent running through market streets and hiding in different places. that's how he detached himself from the rest.
perhaps he had never been a part of the rest, or what he could now call the normal world. he had never been a common human being, or a human at all. sehun, even as kid, had never felt himself fit into any group of classmates or neighbors. there had always been a thin barrier that he was never able to walk through, and it had always kept him apart from the rest.
this was easier to accept now that he was older and didn't seek for anyone's approval. he had long stopped trying to make new friends, and he only focused on what he liked to do or had to do. or so he liked to believe.
during dinner, joonmyun had introduced him to the other boys that were with him at the common room few hours ago as the new occupant of their home. they all smiled at him, looking friendlier than before, and shook his hand or patted his shoulder as a welcome. kyungsoo was one of them, and he had been the one in charge of cooking that night. baekhyun, who was sitting on his right, advised sehun on keeping kyungsoo happy if he wanted good food like this every other day. a loud laugh echoed in the dining room, and of course it was jongdae's. sehun laughed quietly behind his hand, as joonmyun shook his head amusedly. kyungsoo scoffed and told him he was not the home's cook.
the other people in the room didn't ask his name (he guessed they had already heard from joonmyun who he was) but they didn't seem to exclude him by any means. what sehun liked the most about them was how they seemed to be comfortable around him, even though he was a complete stranger. "it's because they've been in the same situation before." joonmyun told him before leaving the kitchen. sehun nodded wordlessly, and wondered if all of them had gone through the same; if they all had been chased down, or almost gotten caught by someone. if they had put someone they loved in danger. if they had ran away, too. if they were fading into nothing.
joonmyun wished him goodnight and disappeared between those seemingly endless halls and doors.
he closes his eyes and once again tries to sleep, though it's useless. he can still hear his own coarse breaths and those heavy footsteps chasing him down.
•
"let me introduce you to the devil himself," lu han says, a sly grin taking over his lips, raising his hands towards a tall boy, the one he saw in the tattoo shop two days ago. his hair is black, charcoal black, and it seems to match perfectly with his eye circles, "this is jongin." lu han adds.
"you'll soon be able to tell who's the real devil around here," jongin says, raising his eyebrows and tilting his head towards lu han. "see you around, pretty boy." and then he leaves, walking steadily through the room without looking back.
"he's harmless, really." lu han explains once jongin is gone. he grabs one of the wine red cushions and plops on the chocolate couch. sehun imitates him, feeling slightly intrusive, since he's still unfamiliar with the place. he reasons he better get used to it, since it's his home for now. ("or maybe not; they could find you and you'd have to move somewhere else." lu han comments, not meaning to frighten sehun but terribly succeeding at it.)
"he seems interesting." he offers, unable to find a word to better encapsulate what jongin was.
"oh, trust me, he is." lu han replies, laughing coyly. sehun decides to drop it and not inquire any further.
"can i ask you something?" sehun, with a dim voice, asks. lu han hums in response, what sehun interprets as a yes, "why did you leave this place?"
"because i no longer needed their protection. there's always someone else who's in great need of a safe roof to stay under. this is that safe place they all come to. like you." lu han answers, a blank face on. sehun thinks of his house, with thin walls and even thinner ceiling, small rooms and an even smaller kitchen, the one his mother was always complaining about. he thinks of it and is thrown back to the days when his father was still alive and he was still a normal, healthy boy. those days are shady now, they have a hazy film over the colors, and they seem so distant, as if they were only a part of sehun's imagination and had never occurred. sehun swallows the suffocating feeling down and turns to look at lu han.
"i have a home." he states bitterly.
"if you wish to keep it that way, stay away from it. your mother; she's safe. she knows where you are. you need to stay away from her in order to keep her out of their sight," lu han says calmly, eyes staring to a wall, as if on a trance, "it's you who they're desperately looking for, after all."
"she knows?" sehun asks, voice a little choked. he never wanted his mother to think of him as a monster again. he never wanted her to remember what he was, what he could do.
"of course she does, sehun. she is your mother, and she is exactly like you." lu han assures him, turning his small face to look at him, a small smile seeping through his lips. sehun is both a little baffled and a little scared, be it for the hint of his mother being exactly like him, what he is, or be it for the way lu han seems to be made out of porcelain, void of life, unreal.
•
one lazy afternoon, joonmyun walks into the room, and with a serene smile tells them to go to the meeting room in ten minutes. lu han accepts and gets to his feet fast, then tells him he'll go get something to drink. sehun waits in the room, tapping his finger against his knee, feeling nauseated.
once they get to the main common room, he can tell something's wrong. lu han seems to know it, too. the amused glint of his eyes vanishes completely as he nears the table behind the sofas and stands next to a tall, light haired man.
"wu fan? is something wrong?" he asks. the tall man turns around to face him and then his eyes land on sehun. there's a worried expression on his face, all strong features slightly contorted. he doesn't say a word, just stares at him. at some point, his worry morphs into some sort of pity, and sehun gulps down warily.
"they've tracked you down," lu han tells sehun, placing his hand on sehun's elbow, "we need to leave."
"what do you mean 'we'?" wu fan asks. lu han bites his lip in thought, turns to look at joonmyun and takes a deep breath. the latter nods understandingly.
"i'm not leaving him alone." lu han states, as a matter of fact.
•
the sky is coated in black, ready to attack at any moment. the bus they took is, in lu han's opinion, the rattiest ever, and although sehun agrees, he does not complain. sehun is absorbed staring out the window he was sitting next to, oblivious to the creaking seats, the smelly old man sitting on the seat behind theirs, the chattering ladies around them.
he feels himself stretching, leaving a part of himself in this city, yet going away at the same time, closing his eyes and apologizing to the city that had kept him captive all of his life, abandoning everything he knew. he is an elastic band, unable to leave completely, though eager to do so, quite subtly. lu han plays the role of the hands that pull him from this side and the other, taking him somewhere else to keep him safe, helping him stay hidden.
"are you alright?" lu han asks, jarring him out of his thoughts. sehun nods, feeling a bit lost at the sight behind lu han's face. the rusty metal walls of the bus, the bouncing crystals on the windows. he looks into lu han's eyes and smiles lopsidedly.
"yeah, i'm good." sehun assures him.
"you'll come back one day. this is not definitive." lu han says, smiling to himself. sehun is yet not used to the fact that lu han hears all of his thoughts, that lu han pretty much feels what he feels, but at least it doesn't freak him out anymore. lu han is the closest thing to a friend he has now. much more than a friend, if he were to be honest. he's more like a second mindset.
he decides to let himself fall into the welcoming arms of slumber, hugs his backpack and rests his forehead against the window.
sehun wakes up when the bus drives over a bump on the road and his head bounces painfully on lu han's shoulder. lu han laughs quietly, his eyes blinking slowly as he rests his head back on the seat.
"i can't sleep," he says before sehun can even articulate his question, "the old lady over there hasn't seen her son in weeks and is worried to dead, the man over there is worried his wife might have found out he's been cheating on her, the girl in front of him might be pregnant. i can't sleep. " and then he smiles absentmindedly.
sehun rummages through his jean pockets and fishes his phone earphones out. he wasn't supposed to bring his phone with him in order to avoid being tracked once again, but he had convinced joonmyun of letting him take it with him as long as it remained turned off. he offers the earphones to lu han with a shy, not-sure-what-i'm-doing smile.
lu han laughs genuinely, throwing his head back, "it doesn't work like that, but thank you." sehun nods and turns his head to the window before lu han can turn to face him. he just hopes the intense blush spreading over his cheeks doesn't reach down to his neck.
they get off endless stations later, and god, sehun has absolutely no idea where he's standing. he's never really been fond of traveling, much less alone. the only trips he's ever taken were family trips to visit some aunt he had no idea was his relative. lu han walks down the sidewalk, wandering eyes absorbing the street lights.
"what now," sehun sighs. he looks around and sees most of the street shops are already closed, which means this town is not a night town at all. back in seoul, the city breathes light at any hour, whether it's sunlight or not. sehun is used to walking down the streets at night and struggling to move in through the crowds in the sidewalk. he's used to the chattering at the cafes, the movie theaters, the shopping malls.
"let's get something to eat first," lu han suggests.
it's almost half past nine when they find a 24/7 café, right across a somewhat tall building. if he's right, that's the first building higher than three floors he's seen since he got here.
"we're only staying here for the night." lu han says, as he pulls his chair and plops down on it. sehun sits down, too, and looks at the empty counter for someone to take their orders. they're completely alone until a door flies open from behind the counter and a middle aged man nears their table.
they order a cheeseburger and a sandwich, both accompanied with coffee. sehun crosses his arms on the table and hides his face between them, using them as a pillow. lu han is reading a magazine he saw on the table next to theirs.
"alright," lu han says, putting the magazine down, "i'm still learning to block your thoughts, so i can still hear you thinking. you have way too many questions, but go ahead. ask me anything." he says, lips curved into a tiny smile.
"tell me your story," he says.
their orders arrive before lu han can start talking, but as soon as the waiter leaves, he begins.
"i found the home when i was fifteen. i ran away from my home when i was fourteen. i met jongin before i turned fifteen and we got to the home together. he had left his house, too. that's pretty much my story." lu han says, then takes a big bite out of his cheeseburger.
"why did you run away?" sehun inquires, frowning deeply. he notices the way lu han tenses up at the question, but he still waits for an answer. he tries to imagine what would it be like to run away from home at such young age, but is unable to. he grew up with his mother and step father. he hated his step father, but there was nothing he could do against him. he never thought of leaving home before.
"aren't you hungry? because i am." lu han quickly takes it off a tangent and continues chewing on his food. sehun sighs resignedly and takes his sandwich. they continue eating in silence, ask for the bill and both pay their share.
after walking a few blocks, they find a cheap motel with available rooms. the receptionist stares at them confusedly, and her jaw falls slack to the floor when lu han tells her that one room is just fine. sehun doesn't protest, since he's too busy staring at the paintings hanging on the wall. they're simply terrible.
when sehun comes out of their tiny bathroom, lu han is already snoring, face buried between his arms, on the right side of the bed. sehun considers waking him up and telling him the shower is available, but he doesn't have the heart to do so. he softly takes lu han's sneakers off him and pulls up the covers.
it's around two a.m. and he can't manage to sleep yet. there's a storm outside, it came out of nowhere. he's sitting on the floor, cross-legged and facing the window. the wooden frames of it creak slightly every time a particularly strong breeze pushes against it, the sound it makes keeps him entertained. maybe it's just that everything seems more important after two a.m.
he hadn't given it much thought, up until now. the cold is seeping through his pants, and his bones hurt a little from being like that for a long time, but he ignores the buzzing sensation. instead, he begins thinking of this- whatever it is they're doing. running away. hiding away. truth to be told, sehun feels like he's being washed away. he knows it's not like that, but it does feel like someone just grabbed him and shook him a little before telling him the bad news. these people want you you need to disappear before they find you you're in danger. and it's too much for him, so he stays still and lets it flow through him. we're going to clean this messy spot where you used to be and make you fade away you need to stay away from her.
he feels the distance, and the pressure, and the fear, from one second to another. he starts panicking; breaths harsh and ragged. the room is too small and the walls are see-through. there's no air coming to his lungs. this goes on until someone shakes his shoulders and he blinks back to this world.
"what the fuck, sehun, breathe," lu han hisses at him. and breathe he does. it takes a few seconds, but finally his vision sharpens and it's normal once again, and the colors go back to their rightful places, and the room has finally stopped shrinking and squishing him. he doesn't realize he's panting.
"come to bed," lu han tells him and pulls him up. lu han's hands are warm compared to his own.
•
apparently, sehun had missed something. when he was told that he needed to leave he had assumed they'd hop in a bus and get to whatever city was best. that they'd stay in a hotel a week or two and then come and hope for things to be calm once again. he had clearly missed that bit of information where they told him they were going to hitch-hike and don't stop until it was safe for him; which wouldn't be too soon, lu han had said. a week or two, if not longer, per town. they wouldn't use any credit cards, nor personal phones, they wouldn't buy or sign anything that would left a trace of them. in every hotel, a fake name, pay in cash.
so they're sitting on the back of a creaking truck. the married couple in the front had thought they were just some sad teenagers trying to go back home and had kindly let them hop on. the ride is only an hour or so, because the couple is going to take a curve down the road, which is on the other side of the town they were planning to go to.
"they're really nice people," lu han says thirty minutes after they got on.
"what are they thinking?" sehun asks, mildly interested. his head lolls to the side and a bump on the road makes it collide against the window. lu han laughs, though the sound is swallowed by the wind before it can fill sehun's ears.
"well, she's convinced we're going to visit our family. she feels pity; poor lonely kids, she thinks," lu han tells him, pouting and shifting his brows to a really mock-worried expression, "and the man still thinks we're homeless druggies but he's too nice to show it." and sehun laughs, loud and rich, for what feels like the first time in months. he doesn't feel apprehensive of being heard at all because he knows his voice is not that strong and can be easily dragged away when the truck speeds up.
"i like your laugh," lu han comments. sehun looks at him, a blank face on. then he curves his lips upwards, just a tiny bit, and huffs, a very very controlled laugh. but he is laughing harder inside, though he's not really sure why. perhaps it's all the cold air getting into his head.
there's something quite addictive about this air, he notices. it's reckless and the sound it carries is nothing he's ever heard before. it's loud, and it sounds like a waterfall right under the truck's wheels, and it muses his hair and brushes his skin. it must be cause there are no buildings trapping it. there are no other cars trying to be louder than it. there's only the road and the moody sky and lu han next to him.
when the truck slows down and fully stops, right in front of a gas station, they jump off it and thank the couple through the window.
"don't you kids have classes?" the lady asks them. sehun freezes for a second, since the question has been aimed at him ("you must be the older brother," the woman said, "you look like a serious kid."), and parted his lips to answer, though lu han was faster to shake his head and flash the woman a beaming smile.
"we have a few days off, m'am. we'll be back on time." and with that, they bid the couple goodbye.
they walk a few blocks on this quiet, side-of-the-road town. the houses here had hardly any color at all, and some parts of the streets were cracked and seemed to have been abandoned long time ago. sehun stares at the pavement and thinks of how things seem to break on their own when there's no one to take care of them, and how time seems to be heavier than any other truck, and how it breaks roads in half from one night to the other.
it's funny because he can relate a little to those sad streets.
•
three or four side-of-the-road cities after, the sky is already tinted purple at the edges, so they decide to stop for the day and find a nice place to sleep. they can't be picky, though, so they give up on the 'nice part. they find this hole-in-the-wall hotel with about five rooms that is cheap and doesn't smell of any suspicious substances. what they're having for dinner tonight are burritos, nachos and sodas from the convenience store.
"where exactly are we heading?" sehun asks, ripping one of the corners of the little plastic bag of hot sauce that comes with the burrito.
"north, though i'm not really sure. there's another home up there." lu han tells him before taking a bit bite off his burrito. he seems to be enjoying it like it's some sort of high-class dish of mexican cuisine. sehun chuckles softly to himself.
"i heard that," lu han says, scowling childishly.
"i thought you could block my thoughts off?"
"only when i'm focused on doing so. and i am eating right now." lu han explains.
sehun shrugs and keeps on eating. they let a light silence cast over them, and it's pretty comfortable to say the least. it kind of feels like when you're having dinner with your mother, and you know she's put a lot of effort into the food, and you eat it and hum like it's the greatest thing your taste buds have ever had even though it's way too salty, and your mother knows you're doing this, and she's smiling to herself. and it's pretty comfortable, too. there's no tension, and there's nothing to be said.
"i don't know how's that," lu han says out loud, "i never had dinner with mom like that." and sehun is confused as to why he's saying this.
"well, i-" sehun begins, nervously.
"don't worry," lu han chews, swallows, smiles, "you love her a lot, don't you?" and then there's this really nostalgic mask on his face, though it's transparent and thin, but it's still there. sehun nods, wordlessly. what could he say? he loved her to death. she had always put him before her. still, he couldn't bring himself to spill all these words out here. miles away from her. hiding in a wall hole, eating microwaved food.
"look, there's no need to pity me, alright? i left home because i couldn't stand it. i didn't grow in a loving family. i never felt any longing for one, either. so, chill." lu han tells him, an unwavering tone of voice. and he sounds so determined. sehun wills himself to stop thinking at all.
"can i ask you something?" sehun says, after clearing his throat. that sauce was damn spicy. lu han nods, eating some nachos, "you said my mother knew because she is exactly like me, is there- is there anything i need to know about her?" he feels dumb asking, but it's necessary. he's probably missing half of the story behind all of this, and it drives him up the wall.
"i'm not sure if i should be the one to tell you-"
"-please, tell me," he pleads. lu han sighs resignedly, licks his fingers clean and with a soft, mellow voice, he tells sehun about how his whole life had been a very elaborated cover up.
•
a family of three had dropped them off in a rather big city at half past noon. now, lu han tells him they have to wait here, because jongin can't find them if they're on a car, in the middle of god knows where. so, they wait, sitting on a rusty bench, in a park that was the size of a block. sehun's not really sure how jongin is going to meet them up here, or if he had followed them, or if he had a private plane.
lu han stiffens and closes his eyes, "are you alright?" sehun splutters, but lu han doesn't seem to hear. and then, completely out of nowhere, jongin materializes right in front of him. small trails of black smoke curling around him, vanishing into nothing after a few seconds. his chest is heaving, and he grins at sehun's baffled expression.
"hi there." says jongin.
then, lu han takes in a deep breath and opens his eyes. "it's been a while since i did that." he says, a winning smile taking over his rosy lips.
jongin later explains to him that when they were younger, lu han had learned how to track jongin's mind, even if they were in different places, and how jongin had managed to find lu han's mind in that black place that doesn't exist in this world, which is the place he goes to when he closes his eyes and disappears for a few seconds. with a wide grin, he proudly says it's something only he and lu han can do, and sehun's jaw tightens and he nods in awe.
"it's really draining, though." lu han admits, his eyelids dropping heavily.
"i'm sorry," jongin says, turning to face lu han. they're in a small café, eating buttered biscuits. lu han looks up to meet jongin's eyes and shakes his head, smiling warmly. sehun knows it's not his business, but he can't help to notice. these two have something- a strong bond, a tight knot around their ankles, keeping them together.
they're close friends, sehun concludes. they could be a thousand miles away and they'd still share this; they'd share the pain and the cold and the relief of being home again, together. they'd share the same stories and they'd have the same mistakes and they'd share this great bond that completely overpowers friendship.
and sehun tries really hard to ignore the strange loneliness that begins flooding him inside.
•
they decide to take a train to get out of this city instead of hitch-hiking. after this really awkward experience with this weird man than kept thinking about them naked, lu han had said it'd be better if they'd leave the roadways for a couple of days. so they're in the train, quietly sitting shoulder to shoulder.
jongin had left the same day he found them, saying he needed to go back to tell joonmyun about their whereabouts. he gave them some cash, too, because they were running low and still had a long trip ahead of them. he had laughed and lu han had punched his arm playfully. jongin had also talked to sehun, and he seemed genuinely interested in him. sehun couldn't deny he had this sort of- strange, nerve-wrecking interest in jongin.
like, he saw jongin and the way his hooded eyes wandered everywhere and they'd still look the same, all sleepy and arrogant, and he felt the need to look into them and understand what was so different about him that made sehun's breath hitch.
he really hoped lu han had his thoughts blocked off because, in all honesty, said thoughts were embarrassing.
jongin also seemed to be open to tell him more about lu han than lu han himself, so he took advantage of that and listened carefully to the details jongin was willingly sharing, promptly ignoring lu han, who had been sitting next to him.
"there's also this weird thing he does, like he finds a certain person in your memories, and sees them, and if he focuses enough, he can also read their minds. he finds them in the real world and isn't that fucking awesome?" jongin said, eyes going wide and round. sehun nodded, and finally understood how lu han had found out about his mother's special talents.
it turned out she had sehun's ability, though it wasn't as powerful. lu han hadn't elaborated on what they could do, and for that sehun was thankful, because he didn't want to think of his mother as one of his kind. and he certainly didn't want jongin to think about him as a monster. that was too much for him to take. besides, his mother was all crinkly eyesmiles and peachy perfumes, hearty laughter and flowery dresses. there was no way she-
"you could say it's in your genes," lu han had told him, "that man- the one she married after you were born, he was a sealer. he had no idea of this, of course. but he was a powerful one, and your mother needed him to keep you hidden-"
"a sealer?" sehun asked.
"some people have the ability to cover other people's powers. they're like- like blankets to hide under. they seal you out as long as you're around them." jongin had helpfully said.
there are some school girls on the train, with their pink headphones and their fake lashes, businessmen with their wrinkly suits and lolling heads, and some other people; just normal, barely noticeable people. sehun is staring out of the window, to the blurry lights from outside. he's currently going through one of those phases, where he feels he's nothing but air, and his mind is heavier than ever, and his body is nothing but one of those blurry and unstable, flickering lights behind the window.
these phases scare him. he could turn into dust in the blink of an eye. one breath more and he'd crumble down. one more heartbeat, and his whole being would collapse to the ground. the fragility he feels might destroy him one day. there are times when he just looks at his reflection, or even his own hands, and he fails to remember his name. this instantly throws him into a valley of cloudy who am i's and foggy why am i here's.
it's not nice at all.
when they reach the next station, lu han jumps out of their seat, which startles him out of his vague, wandering thoughts. a few people turn around to look at him, and then there's a beeping sound and the doors start sliding to open.
"shit-- they're here." he pulls sehun up, who's all confused and shaky.
once the doors are fully open, more people start lining in, and sehun feels a sharp pain run up his right arm to his shoulder. there's a big, hot hand strangling his arm. and then, lu han is shouting and pushing through people.
"don't move, child," another man stands in front of lu han, and the latter freezes on the spot. sehun's heart is speeding up, and his vision is turning blurry, and he's so scared he might faint. however, he thinks of lu han, and lu han is in danger, too, so he blinks the panic away and looks around for him.
people start dispersing on the wagon, and then he sees they're surrounded by other five people in suits, and one of them has lu han, and there's nothing he can do to help him.
the man smirks down at lu han and lu han smiles up at him. what are you doing--, sehun wants to yell. then, the man's eyes go wide and white, and he covers his ears, falls to his knees and begins trembling. he's shouting his throat raw, and his voice breaks, and his words turn into painful groans and blabbering.
before sehun can do anything, the other suited men fall to the ground and start crying out, too, and lu han pulls him and then shoves him out of the train.
•
after running through the indifferent streets of this unknown city, they find a motel. they shouldn't waste their money on this, but lu han insists on hiding one day before leaving. tomorrow, they'll definitely get as far as possible, because lu han believes the people chasing them - alphas, sehun recalls - might have trackers with them.
"i think i can block them, but they might have more than one." lu han tells him.
"i still don't know how that works," sehun lamely blurts out. lu han stops frowning and turns to look at him. his shoulders sag, he sighs, and he smiles up at sehun. something twists inside of him, and it's like an electric volt that tickles his skin.
"that's okay." lu han assures him, and oh, how he wishes it was okay. how he wishes he could just go home and eat his mom's salty food and finish his essays and pretend to study for his exams. then things would be okay. he knows it's not the right thing to feel like this, but he's starting to feel really really tired of everything- and even more tired of himself. lu han's just trying to help him, and here he is, already starting to feel down, almost ready to give up.
"don't even!" lu han shrieks, having read his mind; sometimes he forgets lu han can't focus and block his thoughts out when he's eating. lu han grabs his chopsticks and pinches the back of his hand, and sehun winces.
"ow, that- that was uncalled for, christ," he says, rubbing circles on his reddening skin.
"she's kept you safe your whole life. now, do this for her, yeah? don't let her efforts go to waste and be safe. you'll be safe." lu han tells him, looking down at his food. at first, sehun's not sure what he means, but it doesn't take him long to know what lu han's talking about. he's not sure why, either, but he believes every word lu han says.
"i'm sorry." he mumbles. lu han tells him it's fine and they continue eating. that night, sehun falls asleep first, while lu han is absentmindedly changing through the t.v. channels, even though they're like 16 channels, and he's been looping through them for hours.
•
"i'm glad i can hear your thoughts, sehun. if i couldn't, i wouldn't know how interesting you actually are." lu han says, a small grin dancing on his lips.
"i've never been talkative." sehun replies, like it's some sort of excuse. lu han chuckles and nods.
"i know that."
"you know more about myself than i do." sehun thinks, and then says it aloud, because he can't always communicate through his thoughts. he might as well start voicing everything out. lu han hears him anyway.
"i tend to do that. don't know why, though," and then he laughs.
•
sehun has lost track of the time they've been hopping from town to town. he's already used to the catnaps between old, creaking trains and cheap cafés, and to the easy conversations with kind strangers that accepted to give them a ride. he's already used to lu han sneaking his arms around his waist to keep him close, and how he whispers things into his ear, as if anyone else could hear him. sehun doubts people even notice them, but he lets lu han have things his way.
when it's dark and cold and the hoodies they've brought along with them aren't enough, sehun misses home. he misses his mother's laugh and how she always encouraged him to make some friends at school. sehun would like to tell her he's made two friends now, but obviously he can't. he can't tell her how the sky looks different depending on which district you are. he can't tell her how train station restrooms aren't as dirty as she'd thought.
he can't tell her about lu han and his mischievous, satisfied smiles. he can't tell her he feels alive now.
in fact, it'd be better if she never heard of him again.
he's been thinking about this for days now. ever since jongin visited them again and told them about the home being attacked by alpha teams. jongin said the boys were okay, only a few scratches here and there. but sehun didn't believe him. lu han didn't say anything except: "it's not your fault."
"we had wu fan and tao with us, trust me, the intruders were more affected than us." jongin commented, smiling cautiously. he kept looking to meet sehun's eyes, but sehun couldn't bring himself to look up at jongin and not feel ashamed.
•
it happens in one of those towns that aren't exactly modern, yet seem to be really popular among young people, with their old looking cafés, worn down book stores and vintage clothes shops. sehun enjoys the somewhat nice, relaxed air of the little town they're in. they rent a room for a night, one bed and one bathroom because those are cheaper, and at this point, they don't mind sharing their bed and shoving at each other for mirror view while brushing their teeth every morning.
he's walking alone now. perhaps it's a bad thing that's he's like this, surrounded by people that don't notice him. people that laugh and smile and shove him aside to keep walking. it's on moments like these when sehun fears himself the most, because he begins falling into an endless loop of insanity driven by loneliness that no one can really stop. no one else can really see it. there's just a stoic face and a thin line of a mouth no one cares enough about to read.
it's in moments like these when he feels like crying. like dropping down to his knees and clutching at his chest, looking for something else to feel rather than this dry sadness that overwhelms him.
he holds the paper bag in his hand a little tighter and speeds his pace up. there are two warm sandwiches inside, and on his other hand, he holds a tiny paper tray holding two cups of coffee. he had lost a rock, paper, scissors game and had been ordered by lu han to find some tasty sandwiches for dinner while he watched comedy shows on the tiny t.v. of the room. now that he thinks of it, it had been foolish of him to play that kind of game with lu han.
he walks into the barely noticeable hotel, keeps his eyes glued to his own shoes when he notices the girl at the reception making eyes at him and climbs up the stairs. when his eyes find the door to their room hanging open, doorknob turned into a pulp of golden clay, he knows why lu han had been so persistent for him to go find food alone.
he drops everything he's holding and storms into the room. lu han is sitting on a wooden chair, placed right in front of the tiny bed; a tall, skinny man is holding both sides of his head with flat hands, covering his ears and pressing his fingertips against lu han's temples. what scares him the most is that lu han's eyes are completely white, his lips are slightly parted and there's drool dripping off them.
"glad you're back, sehun," a second man says. the man crosses his legs, slowly, and takes a drag of his cigarrette, scrutinizing sehun under his round, gray eyes, "lu han, as you can see, is dying to see you." the man grins widely, smoke dancing out of his mouth.
sehun is shaking now, his knees seemingly frozen at the fright. he notices a third man standing by the bathroom door, leaning on the wall with his arms crossed in front of his chest. three of them. lu han knew they were coming, he thinks angrily, biting crescents into his dry lips.
"let go of him," he says, slow and emphasized. the man holding lu han's head flashes him a smile and moves lu han's head from side to side, mouthing a 'no' with his own lips.
"you know?, that'd be the cool thing to do. the whole let go of him, it's me who you want! act," the man on the bed says, getting on his feet quick, "but no, we aren't here to pull some sort of hero movies moves. we'll kill him and knock you out. we'll drag you to our car like the smelly bag of meat you are." and then, he throws the half smoked cigarette to the air and it turns into ashes in the blink of an eye.
"i don't think you should make him angry." the third one comments, narrowing his eyes. he was right.
sehun's vision has long gone blurry. the sounds around him sound like they're a thousand miles away, yet they're still clear in his ears. each color fades into another and each shape morphs into a different one and they slide out of their place and do strange motions around him. the heat emanating from his body manages to burn his skin, ever so slightly, and the trembling has gone from his hands to every single one of his muscles.
the monster inside of him is now angry, too.
the amusement has faded into worry in that man's face.
•
sehun can't remember much. if anything, he can only recall shouting and the sound of bones breaking, which makes him nauseated. he's holding lu han on his lap now, holding his head close to him. lu han's eyelids flutter every now and then, but he hasn't woken up yet.
sehun isn't sure how he can explain what happened when he himself has no idea, either. there are three crippled bodies scattered on the floor. their shapes are hardly humanoid anymore, their legs, ankles and arms pointing to different directions. there's blood on the walls, on the tiled floor and even on the little furniture the cheap room had. what's weirder is the fact that there isn't a single cut on the bodies, nor there is a single stain of blood in sehun's hands.
sehun feels a cold shiver run down his body as the thought rushes back to his mind.
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part ii.