( Read more... )

My cell phone gets HOT when I talk on it for more than 5 minutes. It burns my ear and the side of my head, and then all I can think about are the RF energy-fed tumors which are probably forming in my mouth, neck and brain, and to be perfectly honest, some people just aren't worth a Specific Absorption Rate of 1.44W/kg ( Read more... )

I'm paralyzed by the number of items on my to do list, so instead of being productive, I'm making a myspace page for my new band, Song Removed by Artist ( Read more... )

Me: The hotel is okay. I think it's new... I can smell fresh paint in the stairwell.

Him: You can smell what?

Me: Paint. I smell paint in the stairwell.

Him: *bad connection...* With a "t"?

Me: Yes. Paint. With a "t."

Him: Why does the stairway smell like taint?

Me: Nooooo. The taint smell is coming from the elevator.

They are working on it. OMG ( Read more... )

Sometimes, it drives me nuts that the word "cleave" can be an antonym of itself. Its definitions are polar opposites.

1. to adhere closely; stick
2. to split or divide; to part

"Overlook" is almost as frustrating:

1. to fail to notice, perceive, or consider
2. to look over in inspection, examination

God. I feel like Rainman this morning. WTF,