Comments | squills: Fic: The Life One Does Not Lead

squills

Fic: The Life One Does Not Lead

Feb 21, 2008 22:24

Title: The Life One Does Not Lead
Rating: PG-13
Characters: Mohinder, Sylar
Words: 2950
Warnings: Off-screen character death, mention of sex
Spoilers: Through season 2
Disclaimer: Not my characters, not writing this for profit.
A/N: A million thanks to
( Read more... )

genre: angst, char: mohinder, char: sylar, pair: sylar/mohinder, genre: au, rating: pg-13, genre: fic

Comments 33

ex_nothingto835 February 22 2008, 11:05:12 UTC

Some of my best friends call me Rob. Just saying.

This is compelling and interesting and angsty and addresses all those wonderful reasons we have for treating this pairing as canon. Loved it.

xx

squills February 22 2008, 16:06:48 UTC

...are you saying you dislike the thought of Mohinder moaning, "Oh, Rob..."? :P

Thanks a lot, sweetie. It always makes me excited to hear that you liked it!

ex_nothingto835 February 22 2008, 16:41:42 UTC

I'm saying I LOVE IT. I LOVE IT I LOVE IT. May I also suggest "Oh Rob, it feels so good when you touch me there..."? Because that's AWESOME.

It's my ambition to use this icon for eternity.

squills February 22 2008, 18:52:21 UTC

Hmmm. Perhaps I shall have to do a director's cut, with a much more explicit version of that particular scene...

I started to upload my own favorite icon from that latest photo shoot, but got distracted by this one.

5chaogasm5 February 22 2008, 11:31:48 UTC

I don't know if we've ever spoken before, but I love your fics. In fact, I need to read more of them (is looking at all the ones she hasn't read). I think the thing I love most about this one is that at first, you think it's Mohinder's subconcious talking to him. I felt REALLY dumb with how long it took me to realize it was Sylar. It was right...here: 'You still could be.' So I read a little more and confirmed it when Mohinder started to fight the voice, and then I read back up and went 'DUH!' as I'm looking at the 'so common' and the 'charming' lines, especially when there was blatant Peter dissing. You can tell it's 6:30 in the morning and I haven't slept yet ( ... )

squills February 22 2008, 16:49:17 UTC

I don't think we've talked either, though I know I've seen your username and liked your stuff. I go through phases where I'll comment on everything (usually from my personal journal) but then I'll barely leave any comments for a while, and I've been kinda quiet since before Christmas.

I felt REALLY dumb with how long it took me to realize it was Sylar.Oh, don't feel dumb! I went back and forth over how obvious I should make it that Sylar was doing this to him. In the end I decided to write it almost completely the way Mohinder would have seen it, thinking he was just in a dream with only a few faint clues, because I thought it would be more of a thrill for people to suddenly shout "OMG IT'S SYLAR!!!" at the end. (But I was worried about people shouting "OMG IT WAS SYLAR?!? Why didn't you TELL US FROM THE START ( ... )

barhaven February 22 2008, 13:18:27 UTC

Ooh, this is a good night for stories. This AND more of Hollow Heroes? Win. Now I just need the next installment of Sylinder: The Sitcom to make the evening complete. ;)

This story flows really well. There's nice, almost dreamy descriptions while Mohinder is going through his (practically literal) emotional baggage. Mohinder seems like he'd have a lot of "what if?"s in his life. Especially considering how often his decisions go horribly wrong, even when he has the best of intentions.

Ha! I knew it was Sylar screwing with him. XD But then, I over-think things. You did a great job making it sound like Mohinder's inner voice calling him out. I only hope they'll do something even HALF this interesting with Maury's power if they ever bring him back. Or let Matt level up enough to do the same thing.

squills February 22 2008, 17:00:54 UTC

Now I just need the next installment of Sylinder: The Sitcom to make the evening complete. ;)
NO PRESSURE, hobbit_eyes! (Hey...that tactic worked when I used it to get more of "Hollow Heroes"...we might as well try it on someone else!)

Mohinder seems like he'd have a lot of "what if?"s in his life. Especially considering how often his decisions go horribly wrong, even when he has the best of intentions.I don't see him as being depressed and living in the past, but even those of us who aren't impetuous geneticists with anger issues have situations where we wish we'd done something different. I had a really hard time keeping Sylar out of this, because I had a very strong mental image of him getting a shiny new power, stumbling across Mohinder on another floor quite by accident, and deciding to try it out on him just for fun. Sylar's pushing Mohinder to show him his regrets, but Mohinder is bringing specific regrets out completely on his own (and even manages to shock Sylar ( ... )

aurilly February 22 2008, 16:41:48 UTC

I'm glad that even though it seemed like it was slowing down, there's still lots of Mylar coming down the pipe. This was lovely. I loved how the "dialogue" got really rapid when the topic turned to Sylar, and how creepily sweet Sylar was being, and also the way he was gently calling Mohinder out on his self-delusions. The only thing I didn't really like (and this is just a personal thing, not an actual criticism), was that Bob and Elle got to watch and comment on what I would have preferred to be a very intimate moment for Mo. I usually find Elle funny as an observer, but I was just annoyed by her here.

squills February 22 2008, 17:30:35 UTC

how creepily sweet Sylar was being
Yay! That is one of the things I was going for. In my mental image of the action, Sylar started this because he was excited over getting a new ability, and he was just experimenting on Mohinder out of curiousity. But then Mohinder's admission startles him into responding the same way (even though he tries to cover it up with a vaguely menacing parting speech).

I usually find Elle funny as an observer, but I was just annoyed by her here.*sigh* You know, the ending is the only part of this that gave me problems. I originally was going to leave it open-ended as to whether Sylar genuinely returned Mohinder's feelings, or whether he was just going to take advantage of them to control Mohinder. But when I started writing, I realized that there was no doubt in my mind about how he felt. Then I had a longer ending in mind, where Bob shows Mohinder the video and says that they can take advantage of Sylar's obvious feelings to control him. Mohinder would have been unhappy with this because he'd feel it ( ... )

aurilly February 22 2008, 21:08:11 UTC

Oh, that would have been so sad! I like this ending better, for sure. And I really didn't mean that Elle in particular was distasteful. I would have been upset at anyone bothering Mo at that moment. I really wonder if that's going to happen in the show---someone realizing that it's a crack in Sylar's armour. Probably not, because that would be admitting the hoyay a little too obviously. There's no doubt in my mind either, that Sylar returned the feelings. :-)

Really, great job!

squills February 22 2008, 22:24:35 UTC

And I really didn't mean that Elle in particular was distasteful. I would have been upset at anyone bothering Mo at that moment.
Ah! That makes sense. I was worried before I posted it that Elle's snarking might seem out-of-place, so my paranoia fueled my massively long explanation. (She just insisted on saying that, even though I gave her a look, too. But then, the last time I wrote about her, she turned out to be a slash fan...)

Thread 6

angary February 22 2008, 16:49:34 UTC

You did an amazing job on this one. I love how you got into Mohinder's mind here; first I thought that Sylar was using Sanjog's ability, then I thought that Mohinder was arguing with himself in a dream, and then there was the surprise of Maury's death at the end, which worked really well and stayed true to Sylar's characer. I like how you explored Mohinder's relationships with all of the different people in his life, and that he admitted that he would have done things differently with the others. I imagine that he would think this way, especially in regards to how he had treated Peter and what he had wanted to do with "Zane" at the motel. The part that struck me the most was that you addressed how Mohinder thought about his own mother, and that he still regretted leaving her in India.
That you convey so much emotion within this one-shot just... astounds me, and the transitions and dialogue were very effective as well.

squills February 22 2008, 18:49:41 UTC

The part that struck me the most was that you addressed how Mohinder thought about his own mother, and that he still regretted leaving her in India.

This is something that doesn't bug me, exactly, and I know that it's not necessary for the action on the show, but I really wish there would be some discussion about it. As far as we know, the only person in Mohinder's life who he can completely place trust in, is his mother, who he's left behind, all alone. Doesn't that ever bother him? Doesn't he get horrifically homesick at times, sitting in that cramped apartment? Is he really so fixated on his daddy issues that he doesn't think that much about his mom? I really hope the show doesn't become all about Big Melodramatic Comic Book Eeevildoers, and spends more time dealing the characters' emotions and everyday lives again.

I imagine that he would think this way, especially in regards to how he had treated Peter and what he had wanted to do with "Zane" at the motel.I was trying to make Mohinder's thoughts flow in a fairly natural ( ... )