Fic: The Life One Does Not Lead

[squills]

Title: The Life One Does Not Lead
Rating: PG-13
Characters: Mohinder, Sylar
Words: 2950
Warnings: Off-screen character death, mention of sex
Spoilers: Through season 2
Disclaimer: Not my characters, not writing this for profit.
A/N: A million thanks to

Comments

[aurilly]

I'm glad that even though it seemed like it was slowing down, there's still lots of Mylar coming down the pipe. This was lovely. I loved how the "dialogue" got really rapid when the topic turned to Sylar, and how creepily sweet Sylar was being, and also the way he was gently calling Mohinder out on his self-delusions. The only thing I didn't really like (and this is just a personal thing, not an actual criticism), was that Bob and Elle got to watch and comment on what I would have preferred to be a very intimate moment for Mo. I usually find Elle funny as an observer, but I was just annoyed by her here.

[squills]

how creepily sweet Sylar was being
Yay! That is one of the things I was going for. In my mental image of the action, Sylar started this because he was excited over getting a new ability, and he was just experimenting on Mohinder out of curiousity. But then Mohinder's admission startles him into responding the same way (even though he tries to cover it up with a vaguely menacing parting speech).

I usually find Elle funny as an observer, but I was just annoyed by her here.*sigh* You know, the ending is the only part of this that gave me problems. I originally was going to leave it open-ended as to whether Sylar genuinely returned Mohinder's feelings, or whether he was just going to take advantage of them to control Mohinder. But when I started writing, I realized that there was no doubt in my mind about how he felt. Then I had a longer ending in mind, where Bob shows Mohinder the video and says that they can take advantage of Sylar's obvious feelings to control him. Mohinder would have been unhappy with this because he'd feel it

[aurilly]

Oh, that would have been so sad! I like this ending better, for sure. And I really didn't mean that Elle in particular was distasteful. I would have been upset at anyone bothering Mo at that moment. I really wonder if that's going to happen in the show---someone realizing that it's a crack in Sylar's armour. Probably not, because that would be admitting the hoyay a little too obviously. There's no doubt in my mind either, that Sylar returned the feelings. :-)

Really, great job!

[squills]

And I really didn't mean that Elle in particular was distasteful. I would have been upset at anyone bothering Mo at that moment.
Ah! That makes sense. I was worried before I posted it that Elle's snarking might seem out-of-place, so my paranoia fueled my massively long explanation. (She just insisted on saying that, even though I gave her a look, too. But then, the last time I wrote about her, she turned out to be a slash fan...)

[sinemoras09]

I think Elle snarking Mo was a great touch, personally. It's jarring, but in a good way....like here's Mo, caught up in all these emotions and memories and confusion and angst angst ANGST...and Elle's like, "wtf, dude? Why's Sylar touching you like that?" LOL :D

I also liked the image of Mo's mom staring out the window, and the line about a quiet regret. I think that pretty much sums up the whole piece, right there :)

ETA - this line:

he realizes this isn’t a specific memory. It’s just a quiet regret over what he’s left behind.

:)

[squills]

Aw...thanks! I know that talking about Mohinder's mom isn't necessary for the action, but doesn't he think about her? Doesn't he miss her, and his life in India, and the lovely house he grew up in? Honestly, I think the show needs to go back to including more human moments like that, and not just be about ZOMG BIG BAD SUPERVILLAINZ WHO ARE EVEN SCARIER THAN SYLAR!!!!!1