Chaptered Fic: No Other One, Chapter 5
Title: No Other One, Chapter 5
Author: Duckie Nicks
Rating: PG-13
Characters: Yelina Salas, Horatio Caine, the whole Caine family
Author's Note: WARNING: SPOILER FOR SEASON 6.
Summary: Almost two decades ago, Horatio made a decision that would change his family forever. Will they ever be able to get past it? And will he ever tell Yelina how he feels? This is an alternative to the season 6 premiere. HY romance in the future. Fulfills
alphabetasoup prompt, F is for Fenrir
Previous Chapters: Prologue, Chapter 1, Chapter 2, Chapter 3, and Chapter 4.
Disclaimer: I don’t own it, though sometimes I wish I did.
Author’s Note: It bears repeating one more time - spoilers for season 6, episode 1. Though if you’ve made it this far, you’ll see that this is very different. Kyle is Horatio’s son; Yelina investigated Kyle for Horatio, but that’s where the similarities end. And I’m not exactly upset about that, hehe.
Reviews and criticism are always welcome. Thank you to everyone who has left a review so far; it really does help me and inspire me to do better. And there’s been no one more important to my creative process than my beta, Olly. I appreciate everything you do for me more than words can say.
No Other One
Chapter 5: Abstract Parenting
By Duckie Nicks
“It’s hard to look into the tragedy of [your own] soul because a very great part of you really knows how bad it was.” -- Stevie Nicks
How he’d managed to make it out of the DNA lab Horatio was never quite sure. As it was, he was now on the roof of the building, sunglasses on and the damning file in his hand. And though he was alone, there was no peace and quiet to be had here. Whispered in the wind or maybe only in his mind, “he’s your son” was all Horatio could hear. He’s your son repeated endlessly but still never quite making sense to his ears.
His son.
His child.
His son?
The concept was an entirely foreign one, and if it weren’t for the science… If not for that one constantly dependable thing in his life, Horatio would doubt the test. But the DNA didn’t lie, which meant Kyle Harmon was his son.
It meant Horatio was a father.
And not a good one at that.
The redhead’s experiences with his own father had been… limited. Horatio rarely willingly thought about that man, and when he did, his mind would inevitably focus on their last few minutes together.
And even without the bloody ending, he couldn’t exactly remember the man that well. There were bits and pieces, but none of the sentimentality that others seemed to have towards their family.
He hadn’t realized how unique this was until Yelina’s father had died. Raymond had already been gone for almost a year, and she had asked Horatio to be there. And long after the funeral, he’d sat on her couch, and she’d recounted the most vivid memories to him.
It had been almost intoxicating. Her voice was at times unsteady - far away at other instances - but Yelina had given him the lush details of her childhood. Softly, lovingly, reverently, she had described her father in a way he couldn’t possibly relate to. And he had sat there with her, lapping up every detail, not because she’d needed him to. No, as much as she’d wanted him there, the truth was Horatio couldn’t help but enjoy a glimpse of what might have been.
What might have been if his father hadn’t been who he was.
And from childhood, Horatio never really understood what a dad should be. He’d only ever learned what not to do.
But looking back at the day’s events, the redhead didn’t think he’d really learned all that much. So far, he had arrested the boy - no, his son. He should get used to calling Kyle what he was, he told himself.
True enough, arresting your own child was a unique situation, one that even parents with happy childhoods couldn’t anticipate. Then again, decent parenting probably precluded your son from being arrested, Horatio thought.
And even without that, he realized… throughout the day, he had believed the worst in Kyle. He’d pretended to want the truth, had feigned concern for the boy all in the hopes of getting weapons to use against the teenager. Worse still, he had picked a fight with the sole purpose of being able to hit Kyle.
The realization hit him squarely in the stomach then: he had tried so hard to turn out differently, but… Horatio was every bit his father’s son. He was manipulative and deceitful, cruel and violent. Everything the redhead had hoped to never be, he now was.
He’d screwed up… so badly that there was no coming back from this. And he knew that that was true because he’d been up on the roof for at least a half hour, with only the oppressive sun and a few pigeons to keep him company. Any other time, Calleigh, Eric - someone - would have been up here by now. They would have made up some excuse to coax him from the ledge, so to speak, and the fact that they hadn’t meant something had changed. It meant they no longer cared or respected him. It meant…
His throat tightened uncomfortably, and the redhead worked hard to shove the potent combination of bile and shame as far down as he could.
It meant, he started to finish the thought, that he was his father.
He was his father, and everyone knew it - had probably seen it long before Horatio ever had. And now… it just seemed like there was no way to come back from that. No way to correct his mistakes.
Still, it wasn’t in him to give up. Or maybe it was just that Horatio couldn’t help but torment himself with all the ways he’d never be able to correct this.
He mulled over the possibilities, tried to keep it as scientific and impersonal as possible, but… there was no way he could do that. These were the mistakes he had made. And strange though it was, Kyle was his son.
As much as Horatio didn’t know what that meant or what to do with his new fatherhood… another part of him seemed be awakening. Up on the roof, as one part of him wanted to deny it, another yearned to embrace the truth - needed to make things as right as they could be.
The redhead had no real understanding of how to do this, of how to fix things or of how to be a father. But he was beginning to see where he needed to start.
He’d barely spent any time with Kyle, and yet just the knowledge that they were related made him feel… well, he didn’t know how to put it into words. There were no words, only an invisible tether pulling at him, demanding that he help this boy. Even though the rational part of him said it was too late, even though the lieutenant in him screamed not to do this… there was no choice.
Even with all of that, Horatio knew he had to help Kyle; he had to help his son. Because despite a limited understanding of fatherhood, this, he knew in his heart, was right. His decision made, the redhead stalked back towards the entrance to the building.
As he jerked the door to the stairwell open, Horatio realized that this choice would probably cost him… everything. He’d lose the respect of his team, at least, and the rest of his family would hate this.
He didn’t pause at the thought, because even with such a high price, it would (hopefully) be worth it. He’d lose everything else, but he’d gain a son.
And there could be no more running away from that.
Go to the next Chapter
Author: Duckie Nicks
Rating: PG-13
Characters: Yelina Salas, Horatio Caine, the whole Caine family
Author's Note: WARNING: SPOILER FOR SEASON 6.
Summary: Almost two decades ago, Horatio made a decision that would change his family forever. Will they ever be able to get past it? And will he ever tell Yelina how he feels? This is an alternative to the season 6 premiere. HY romance in the future. Fulfills
alphabetasoup prompt, F is for Fenrir
Previous Chapters: Prologue, Chapter 1, Chapter 2, Chapter 3, and Chapter 4.
Disclaimer: I don’t own it, though sometimes I wish I did.
Author’s Note: It bears repeating one more time - spoilers for season 6, episode 1. Though if you’ve made it this far, you’ll see that this is very different. Kyle is Horatio’s son; Yelina investigated Kyle for Horatio, but that’s where the similarities end. And I’m not exactly upset about that, hehe.
Reviews and criticism are always welcome. Thank you to everyone who has left a review so far; it really does help me and inspire me to do better. And there’s been no one more important to my creative process than my beta, Olly. I appreciate everything you do for me more than words can say.
No Other One
Chapter 5: Abstract Parenting
By Duckie Nicks
“It’s hard to look into the tragedy of [your own] soul because a very great part of you really knows how bad it was.” -- Stevie Nicks
How he’d managed to make it out of the DNA lab Horatio was never quite sure. As it was, he was now on the roof of the building, sunglasses on and the damning file in his hand. And though he was alone, there was no peace and quiet to be had here. Whispered in the wind or maybe only in his mind, “he’s your son” was all Horatio could hear. He’s your son repeated endlessly but still never quite making sense to his ears.
His son.
His child.
His son?
The concept was an entirely foreign one, and if it weren’t for the science… If not for that one constantly dependable thing in his life, Horatio would doubt the test. But the DNA didn’t lie, which meant Kyle Harmon was his son.
It meant Horatio was a father.
And not a good one at that.
The redhead’s experiences with his own father had been… limited. Horatio rarely willingly thought about that man, and when he did, his mind would inevitably focus on their last few minutes together.
And even without the bloody ending, he couldn’t exactly remember the man that well. There were bits and pieces, but none of the sentimentality that others seemed to have towards their family.
He hadn’t realized how unique this was until Yelina’s father had died. Raymond had already been gone for almost a year, and she had asked Horatio to be there. And long after the funeral, he’d sat on her couch, and she’d recounted the most vivid memories to him.
It had been almost intoxicating. Her voice was at times unsteady - far away at other instances - but Yelina had given him the lush details of her childhood. Softly, lovingly, reverently, she had described her father in a way he couldn’t possibly relate to. And he had sat there with her, lapping up every detail, not because she’d needed him to. No, as much as she’d wanted him there, the truth was Horatio couldn’t help but enjoy a glimpse of what might have been.
What might have been if his father hadn’t been who he was.
And from childhood, Horatio never really understood what a dad should be. He’d only ever learned what not to do.
But looking back at the day’s events, the redhead didn’t think he’d really learned all that much. So far, he had arrested the boy - no, his son. He should get used to calling Kyle what he was, he told himself.
True enough, arresting your own child was a unique situation, one that even parents with happy childhoods couldn’t anticipate. Then again, decent parenting probably precluded your son from being arrested, Horatio thought.
And even without that, he realized… throughout the day, he had believed the worst in Kyle. He’d pretended to want the truth, had feigned concern for the boy all in the hopes of getting weapons to use against the teenager. Worse still, he had picked a fight with the sole purpose of being able to hit Kyle.
The realization hit him squarely in the stomach then: he had tried so hard to turn out differently, but… Horatio was every bit his father’s son. He was manipulative and deceitful, cruel and violent. Everything the redhead had hoped to never be, he now was.
He’d screwed up… so badly that there was no coming back from this. And he knew that that was true because he’d been up on the roof for at least a half hour, with only the oppressive sun and a few pigeons to keep him company. Any other time, Calleigh, Eric - someone - would have been up here by now. They would have made up some excuse to coax him from the ledge, so to speak, and the fact that they hadn’t meant something had changed. It meant they no longer cared or respected him. It meant…
His throat tightened uncomfortably, and the redhead worked hard to shove the potent combination of bile and shame as far down as he could.
It meant, he started to finish the thought, that he was his father.
He was his father, and everyone knew it - had probably seen it long before Horatio ever had. And now… it just seemed like there was no way to come back from that. No way to correct his mistakes.
Still, it wasn’t in him to give up. Or maybe it was just that Horatio couldn’t help but torment himself with all the ways he’d never be able to correct this.
He mulled over the possibilities, tried to keep it as scientific and impersonal as possible, but… there was no way he could do that. These were the mistakes he had made. And strange though it was, Kyle was his son.
As much as Horatio didn’t know what that meant or what to do with his new fatherhood… another part of him seemed be awakening. Up on the roof, as one part of him wanted to deny it, another yearned to embrace the truth - needed to make things as right as they could be.
The redhead had no real understanding of how to do this, of how to fix things or of how to be a father. But he was beginning to see where he needed to start.
He’d barely spent any time with Kyle, and yet just the knowledge that they were related made him feel… well, he didn’t know how to put it into words. There were no words, only an invisible tether pulling at him, demanding that he help this boy. Even though the rational part of him said it was too late, even though the lieutenant in him screamed not to do this… there was no choice.
Even with all of that, Horatio knew he had to help Kyle; he had to help his son. Because despite a limited understanding of fatherhood, this, he knew in his heart, was right. His decision made, the redhead stalked back towards the entrance to the building.
As he jerked the door to the stairwell open, Horatio realized that this choice would probably cost him… everything. He’d lose the respect of his team, at least, and the rest of his family would hate this.
He didn’t pause at the thought, because even with such a high price, it would (hopefully) be worth it. He’d lose everything else, but he’d gain a son.
And there could be no more running away from that.
Go to the next Chapter