Embers (part four) [Kingdom Hearts, Axel/Roxas/Naminé, R]

[syvia]

Title: Embers (Part Four)
Author/Artist: syvia
Rating: R
Warnings: Adult language, situations
Word Count: 40,000 +
Summary: Axel’s story, in his own words. The Elders set Marluxia up long before the Organization moved into Castle Oblivion. Written before 358/2 Days, does not use its canon.
Prompt: - Kingdom Hearts, Axel/Roxas/Naminé: Warmth/companionship - "Whenever I'm with them, I feel like I have my heart back."
Author's Notes: Many thanks to crimsoncookie for the beta, also to osmandias and kawaiigami for their help and encouragement.

I have to apologize to you, readers, because this isn't really an ending. Aside from the fact that you know, chronologically, Axel's story doesn't end here (or at the end of this chapter), this isn't the stopping point I had originally envisioned. But I can't say that I'll ever manage to write a part five, and I don't want you to wait for something that isn't coming.

Still, you damn well deserve everything I did finish, so here it is. I hope you enjoy, and I thank you for having read this far.

Part One, Part Two, Part Three


She'd never seen it from the outside. I would have heard about that from the Dusks. Roxas though... and I wondered how far into him she'd gotten. Just how much did they know? Whatever it was, Roxas hadn't suddenly stormed up to Xemnas' office and given his two weeks notice. Someone would have heard the eerie fucking silence before the World that Never Was imploded.

I thought about that, and we sat there. Roxas lay on the sand, staring up. Naminé and I watched the castle.

The sea did reach up and snatch at it. Water rolled against the bottom few inches, smoothing away the details. Naminé had made it small but it was strong, bearing up against the assault. The waves weren't that big- just the tail ends washing around the castle. They moved inland until the momentum died and all they could do was roll back out. Wave after wave and her little Oblivion started to look like a sand-lump with turrets, but it still held.

"Something is different," Roxas muttered.

"You said that," I remarked.

"Is it better?" Naminé asked, never took her eyes off the castle.

Roxas had to think about that one. Maybe it was a stupid question, because what was 'better'? Unless Roxas had suddenly gotten his heart back, 'better' was one hell of a relative term. I told them that.

"Isn't it better here with us than back at the castle?" Naminé asked me. The water rolled in. The south-western corner crumbled and took a tower with it.

I opened my mouth to say yeah, sure. Of course.

I stopped when I realized I'd be telling the truth.

We sat for a few more hours. Long enough that it seemed past time for a call to go back to Never Was and I told the kids we shouldn't press our luck.

"C'mon, Naminé."

I got up, grabbed my coat and shook it out. Naminé stood, brushing her dress and shaking sand off her new shoes. I jerked a thumb at the grass-lined road up above the dunes and she turned, started to walk. Glanced back at Roxas a few times. He was scowling.

He didn't say anything. We both knew he had to stay until a Dusk came to get him, and of the two of us, I was allowed to be inside Oblivion.

"Later," and I followed Naminé up the dunes. I felt eyes on my back the whole time. Yeah, it was Roxas.

He wasn't the only one.

Naminé stood on the grass and brushed the sand off her skin, waggling her sandals until they were clear. I had to grab her shoulder a few times to keep her from falling over- nothing to brace herself and she kept looking at Roxas.

"If anyone asks about the shoes-"

"You gave them to me," she said. "I know."

I snorted, smirked a little and opened a portal. She took it, I followed, and we were back in her little white room. She gave it a long look and didn't seem thrilled with the view.

"You still here?" I tapped lightly on the side of the head and she looked at me, took my hand.

"Do you think I could learn to use the corridors of Darkness?"

Hah. The stirrings of independence.

"What good would it do? You're not allowed to leave, are you?" but I smirked. I hadn't promised anything, but I hadn't said no.

She smiled.

"I'll see ya," and I walked out. Walked, because I hadn't gotten Duskmail either. I left by the stairwell, paused between floors and found something waiting for me. One of Xigbar's Snipers hung on the wall close to the ceiling. It vanished, reappeared in front of me and dropped to the ground. I nodded. It saluted me with its gun and left.

Done, or almost. The kids had gotten out, I was involved, now the only thing left was getting punished for it. I'd be out of Never Was, inside Oblivion getting cozy with Marluxia until he showed me where to stick the knife I'd been sharpening the past few weeks. Vacation over, time to get back to work.

I put my hands on my hips and stood there without looking around. Stood there, breathing.

Once everyone got back, there was another meeting. Agrabah had gotten bigger. So had Halloween Town. Worlds that had lost bits and pieces to the Darkness had suddenly got them back. Traverse Town- according to my cue card- had broken into pieces and drifted apart. No, not like a world that was Falling. It didn't disappear into a storm- it just broke up in pieces and faded from sight. Some of the residents left under their own power. The buildings mostly went 'poof', but they didn't break apart.

Some world Xaldin identified as 'the Beast's Castle' had come out of the Darkness. We’d torn down a world called the 'Land of Dragons' a year or two ago. Well, it was back. But that wasn't the kicker. The moment of dead silence came right after Xemnas told Saïx to report and he said-

"Kingdom Hearts has diminished in size."

Everyone stopped, turned and stared at him.

There was more silence.

"That..." Demyx ventured. "How could-"

"That's bad, right?" Roxas interrupted.

"It is, XIII," Xemnas murmured. "Our aim is to free captive Hearts, that they may join with the greater power of Kingdom Hearts. Now events have conspired to steal away the fruits of so many years' work toward our goal. We must search more diligently for Heartless, and regain what has been lost."

"But what happened?" Roxas asked, and he should have known better. If one of the Elders doesn't feel like going into detail, you don't ask for more. "Where did the Hearts go?"

Oh, this would be good. I wanted the answer more than I wanted to see a fight, but that would’ve been fun too. Xemnas looked at him, and the rest of the room sat like a tennis match, eyes going back and forth and back, watching, waiting for the ball to go out of the court. Then Xemnas smiled.

"Darkness sought to quench a great Light," he said, raising a closed fist. "The Light prevailed. Those Hearts the Darkness held captive were abruptly released," he opened his hand, spreading his fingers wide.

"Among them were the Hearts of Worlds." His gaze grew far from the room, not looking at anyone. I noticed Larxene rolling her eyes and Marluxia smiling pleasantly at her.

"When the Heart of a World returns to the Light, it calls to the hearts it held most beloved. If it is powerful enough, the World’s Heart can call them from wherever they lay."

"Even, it seems, from the center of Kingdom Hearts itself," Luxord murmured.

"Perhaps," Xaldin said, "it would be best to delay the move to Castle Oblivion, until such time that we can restore Kingdom Hearts to its former glory."

"Preposterous!" Vexen was going, no question. "The experiments we can run within Oblivion will yield us more hearts in far less time than tumbling worlds."

"I trust the goals undertaken by those who journey to Castle Oblivion to be well-worth our lack of them here," Xemnas agreed with him, slipped in a little threat. The Organization considers that kind of thing effective multitasking. "Those assigned will take up residence in two weeks time. Until then, your missions are as follows-"

Someone opened a portal for me before I could. Not that anyone would've noticed. I didn't blink, didn't jump away, didn't react like anything was off. I took it and the portal got me to Zexion's lab a few seconds before he did. Then Xigbar joined the party. Zexion started the conversation.

"Xemnas wishes to catch them outright."

I shrugged. "Just give 'em the opportunity. Roxas isn't allowed to go to Oblivion, is he?"

"He has not asked," Zexion observed. "Roxas appears to understand his place in the Organization."

"Kid's been looking at us sideways though," Xigbar said. "Like he wants to say something and doesn't have the guts." He made a 'come on' gesture. "How about you give us a run-down of what the kids have been doing, and how far you think they've gone into XIII's head?"

I shrugged, "First she was just fucking around." I folded my arms and got comfy leaning against a table. "But the kid isn't stupid- he figured it out eventually. Then he told her to keep going. He wanted info. They remember they're from a place called Destiny Islands, they remember they were friends, and Naminé's been dragging images of other worlds out of Sora's heart, so they know the kid went traveling. If they know more, they haven't been talking about it."

Not even when they were alone. They talked as much when I wasn't there as when I was. Roxas knew about the Assassins watching. Either the kids trusted me, or they were keeping some things down so low that they were using telepathy to discuss it.

Xigbar grunted. "Maybe they'll try going home, now that it's back."

Well wasn't that interesting.

"What happened?" I asked. Had that little show during the meeting only been for Roxas, or was this part classified? I thought I had a better chance at an answer from Xigbar than Xemnas, so why not?

Zexion looked at me. "Sora has defeated the Heartless that called itself Ansem."

Not a surprise when you knew what Roxas was capable of. So the Keyblade Bearer had kicked its ass. And shrunk Kingdom Hearts enough that Saïx could tell the difference. Fuck.

"What do you suggest to encourage another excursion?"

That much was easy.

"Just keep Roxas busy- then, couple days before we're supposed to move, let him have a day off. Make sure Naminé knows when the Oblivion group is supposed to come in. It'll be their last chance." I shrugged. "They'll take it."

But I was supposed to drive the point home. So we got another day. Once more into Oblivion for mouthing off, once more Roxas followed me there, and I was supposed to encourage them to take the time left and make the most of it.

How in the hell do you explain 'enjoying the moment' to a Nobody?

See, you can look to the future... you just can't look forward to it.

You can look, you can have a goal and work towards it- but you'll never feel it. You won't imagine what it'll be like to finally get what you worked for. You can't grab that new heartless and feel a sense of accomplishment for having made it. You can't tear down a world and be satisfied that it's gone. You can't manipulate some idiot into infecting a world with Darkness and gloat about it. Which is kinda a good thing- because it's hard to work with someone who can have random crises of conscience. You can't gloat, and you can't grieve either.

Or you can- but it's just as hollow as everything else.

We don't escape the present by fantasizing about the future. We try to heighten the 'now' or do shadow puppets of the past.

We don't get 'new'. We get situations where there is 'new', but we grab the 'slightly familiar' out of it and use the 'old' to deal.

Roxas, Naminé and I... we'd only gotten these visits because they were useful for the Elders. We'd be chastised for it, so it wasn't like we could go back and start up again if there were future opportunities. It wasn't like the Elders wouldn't find out, or say 'oh yeah, sure, go ahead'. If it isn't useful, you don't keep it, and I doubted our leisure time would be good for anything after I'd torn Marluxia down.

So being there with Roxas on one side and Naminé on the other was the last time. This was it. End of an Era. Pathetic one too- only lasted a few weeks.

I remembered enough about losing things that I could have told them.

Could have said they should enjoy this moment- because there wasn't a guarantee they'd get others like it. Could have given them the hint that this wasn't going to start up again after Oblivion was done- at the time, I had no idea when it would be done. It's not like I was gonna take my time with Marluxia, but sometimes you need five hours to complete a mission. Sometimes you need five days.

How were they supposed to understand missing things after they were gone when, since they didn't have emotions, they didn't appreciate what they had?

I didn't appreciate it. I didn't make the most of it. How was I gonna expect them to? I didn't appreciate being with them and it's not because I didn't have a heart- or it is- either way, even though Naminé was right and it was better with them than all the other shit the Organization had me doing, I didn't appreciate it.

I didn't enjoy the moment because it didn't occur to me that maybe, just maybe, it would matter.

I'd had a hundred different ruts and a hundred different transfers to other ruts. I did whatever kept me going, whatever said 'hey Axel, I see you existing there, what a lovely bonfire you've lit'.

None of the previous ruts ever mattered. I remembered them all, I remembered each switch, but I never cared that they'd ended, and I never looked back in regret.

I didn't tell them because I didn't think it would work. Even though Roxas had stalked me between the time I said I would take him back to Oblivion and the day we actually did it. Even though Naminé seemed a little smaller, a little less there if I showed up without Roxas. Even though they used every opportunity to get together.

I couldn't appreciate what we had.

So how could they?

"Axel?"

I grunted, turned my head to look at Naminé. Roxas and I had just gotten off a mission and the kid was sacked out between me and the wall. Both of us on the bed because one, the mission had been long as hell, and two, Marluxia's bed was a hell of a lot more comfortable than Xemnas'.

There's nothing to read between those lines. Stop looking.

Naminé was perched on the edge- the bed wasn't that big. Even perching, she used me as a chair arm.

"How were you born?"

I grunted again. "'S a relative term," I said. But I told her. I told her that Lea had been working, and after work he'd stuck around the city to get something to eat, check out a few stores.

"The sky started to get dark, but that was normal for the time and the season. Then a couple people realized the sky wasn't setting... you couldn't see it anymore. The storm clouds built, but there wasn't any rain. Then the shadows got bigger. They opened their eyes. That was it. Game over."

"That's what happened to the Islands," Roxas muttered.

How long had he been awake?

"I guess that's how we were born," Naminé told him. "I saw a door in your memories. I think there was Darkness coming out of it."

Which wasn't accurate, but hey- I wasn't gonna correct them. I grunted, and we were silent for a while. Roxas shifted and used his hands for a pillow.

"Marluxia says part of the Organization will be coming to stay here,” Naminé said. “You won't be one of them... will you, Roxas?"

I was literally in the middle of the conversation, but when that happens, you're not supposed to act like you're involved. I unclenched my muscles a little more and stared at the ceiling.

"No," he muttered. I grunted at Roxas' shifting, pointy little knee jabbing my side. He sat on his heels and leaned against the wall. "Maybe with Marluxia here, you can look around the rest of the castle."

"Not that there's much to see," I pointed out.

Naminé didn't answer for a while, thinking. She managed to look a little upset. "How long will it be that way?"

Oh well- if Marluxia got his way? Until he took over Never Was. Or maybe he just wanted to tear enough of it down so Oblivion was the stronger fortress. Or maybe he'd let me expose him as a traitor and kick his ass. It was a toss up at that point.

"I dunno. The Superior hasn't given us an expiration date." I looked up at her.

"Are you coming, Axel?"

Then they were both looking at me.

Thinking back, I realize that was an opportunity. Could've spilled the beans. Could've told them everything, brought them in on it. More trustworthy than the rest of the Organization- more useful, maybe. Wouldn't have been a sanctioned twist to the plot, but I'd done all kinds of shit that wasn't approved (but wasn't forbidden either) and wound up in a better position even after getting beaten down for it. They seemed like a good ideas at the time.

But I always followed orders.

"No," I said. "I'm better at field work."

They kept Roxas busy.

I figured the kids would meet up during that last chance- whenever the Elders gave it to them- and since Xigbar was probably stalking them, they'd get caught.

They decided to do us one better.

Five days before the move, Roxas goes on a mission by himself. Nothing out of the ordinary. It seemed to take longer than his usual, but he sent a Samurai back with reports, regularly, like he was supposed to. A day and a half after he left, I got a message from my Naminé-watcher Assassin.

Not so much a message as Roxas had ordered my Dusk away because his could keep a look out just fine, thanks. Something was up.

A few hours later, apparently Marluxia had dropped in to visit Oblivion, because he got back to Never Was and informed the Elders that Naminé was gone.

What actually happened was his daisy-spies metaphysically poked him in the ass and told him Naminé was gone. Which they'd probably done that time the three of us skipped work and went to Twilight Town, but for whatever reason, Marluxia decided not to tattle.

The Elders involved in our little plot knew that. I figured sooner or later Marluxia would come around to blackmail me; if I came to Oblivion and worked for him like a good little minion, he wouldn't tell. That wasn't the only option. He might have thought I still had the same amount of dirt on him that he had on me. Maybe he didn't want Xemnas looking into his connection with the Castle. Either way, his eyes did more talking than his mouth.

Marluxia told Never Was that Naminé had gotten out. They called a meeting. I’ll recap.

‘Well gee, everyone’s here but Roxas.’ ‘Where is he?’ ‘Out on a mission, the Dusks are looking for him.’ ‘Okay fine, who saw Naminé last?’ ‘Did she know how to make corridors of Darkness?’ ‘Maybe some outside group found Castle Oblivion and stole her?’

Marluxia knew damn well it had been Roxas, and Didn't Say A Word. Some of the Elders took off for a quick investigation, came back and 'Of course! Clearly it was Roxas!'

Wasn’t much of an investigation. Zexion took a sniff of the room and that was good enough for the rest of the Elders.

Talk about your freaky abilities. The Elders knew about it- I knew about it- don't know if he let it get around to the rest of the Neophytes. He wasn't the Schemer for nothing. What your colleagues don't know, you can use against them later.

The meeting kept on. ‘Does anyone know where they might have gone?’ ‘What could they be doing?’ ‘How the hell did they meet in the first place?’

I felt Marluxia looking at me again. Like he wanted to say something, and he wanted me to know that. Also by the way, if I wanted to worry about what it was and when he'd finally say it, that was just fine with him.

I ignored him. I looked pensive and worried and 'shit, there goes our Keyblade' and turned to him when he spoke up.

"Naminé," he began, "has told me of an island. She sees it in her mind's eye and draws it, again and again."

"Sora's home world is an island," Zexion murmured. Paused to let it sink in. "Is that not correct?"

The search was on.

Xemnas didn't give orders, specific worlds to search or parties that had to move together. Just about everyone left at the same time, but a portal opened for me again and Zexion got there a second later.

"Destiny Isles."

“Huh. You think Xigbar was right? They went home?”

“It is a certainty.”

Not that he felt like explaining how he knew that.

"So we're bringing them in?"

Zexion talked and opened the portal at the same time.

"No. We will merely observe."

So we observed. We observed Roxas crawling out of a little cave in the side of a little mountain on a cute little island and Naminé following him into the sun. We stood near the trees, inside one of Zexion's illusions, and waited.

The kids didn't say anything. They stood there, looking out over the water, close together, and I wondered what the fuck they thought they were doing. Roxas knew better than to stay in one place when he was being hunted- and he had to know he was being hunted. Or maybe they thought they had more time. Maybe they were waiting for something.

Then something showed up- Darkness like a wound opening in the middle of all that blue and yellow, unfolding and there was Marluxia.

And there was Roxas, pulling the Keyblade.

Marluxia smiled, raised his hands on either side of his waist, palms out.

"Naminé," he said pleasantly, "and Roxas. How unexpected to find you here. Or perhaps you would prefer Kairi- and Sora?"

That stopped him, standing in front of Naminé, blade ready. He didn't lower it, but he didn't charge.

"You know-"

"Of course." Marluxia’s arms fell limp, still not threatening. "All the Organization knows your story. The brave Keyblade Master gave his life for a Princess, and created two Nobodies."

"You know...” Roxas muttered, “but then-"

"We were forbidden to speak of it, of course," he said reasonably. "But now that you have discovered the truth for yourselves, why should we not discuss it?"

Oh so reasonable- oh so trustworthy. Not that they did trust him, right off. They remembered more than enough to know what the Organization did was fucked up, even though they didn't have hearts either, and knew damn well why we all wanted them back. But they were giving him a chance to talk. Because hadn’t Marluxia known from the beginning that Roxas and I were sneaking in to Oblivion? He'd never told anybody. He only wanted to help, and-

"Why have you come here, Roxas? Why did you run, when the wiser course of action would have been to seek aid?"

Roxas let his guard down, put the Keyblade away. The kids didn’t run to his arms, but they felt safe enough to relax.

"We're gonna get in trouble for this," Roxas muttered. "I didn't want anyone else to be blamed."

"We came here..." Naminé whispered, "because it's home. It was our home, and it went into the Darkness." She looked around, then at Marluxia, eyes wide. "But it came back."

"We thought maybe... we could bring other places back. We thought if other Worlds returned," Roxas trailed off. He knew it wouldn't work and Marluxia was shaking his head.

"That is not what the Superior wants, Roxas." He took a few steps closer, but inland, taking in the surroundings. He looked it over (looked us over, not that he could see us) and gave the kids a kicked puppy face. "He sanctions the destruction of worlds- not their reformation. He may very well order this world back into Darkness."

"Oh," I said to Zexion, "he's good."

"Hn."

The kids looked appropriately horrified and Roxas started to protest. "It's not right! The world came back- all the people on it. Kingdom Hearts can't be the only way to-"

"The Superior will not tolerate an alternate course of action, nor the suggestion of one."

That silenced Roxas. He scowled.

"But," Marluxia turned and caught his gaze, "I am not the Superior."

Oh, just a little more. Just a little more and we had him. Zexion to hear him speak treason and me to kill him for it. We just needed a few more words. Marluxia would ask Roxas for his cooperation to kill Xemnas and that'd be that.

"What are you saying?" Naminé whispered.

Marluxia opened his mouth.

A portal opened and Saïx got there just in time to fuck up our operation.

Saïx assumed Marluxia had been stalling the kids until reinforcements arrived. He sent a Dusk for more. Roxas didn't say anything about Marluxia's implied treachery and they didn't try to run. Roxas never ran from a fight- or punishment. Wouldn't have mattered once Xaldin got there anyway. They all left. Marluxia first- dismissed into his own portal. Then Xaldin opened one for the kids, told Saïx to head in first. Roxas followed, leading Naminé by the hand, and Xaldin brought up the rear.

Zexion and I stayed put until the Dusk that would have theoretically been sent for us had theoretically found us and theoretically told us to get our asses back to Never Was for a meeting. Theoretically.

Where Nothing Gathers, there are thirteen seats evenly spaced all the way around the room. Since it's a round room, there's no end or beginning. No metaphorical head of the table. You'd think.

You'd also think that since there are no walls, it's easy to leave. But if you have no walls, you have no windows, and no doors. Think about that one for a while and let me know what you come up with.

It starts with Xemnas.

Xigbar sits on his right. Xaldin on his left. Lexaeus sits next to Xaldin, Vexen sits next to Xigbar. Zexion sits next to Vexen, Saïx sits next to Lex- you get it? Odd numbers on one side, even numbers on the other. What's clever about it is how neatly it puts the Elders on either side of the Superior. Sure, he could have done it in order. An order that he created and put so much fucking importance on. He didn't, and you understand why, right?

The Elders held the seats closest to him. The Nobodies Xemnas actually trusted, or could at least more accurately predict. The ones who were close enough to pull a weapon and actually get a shot off were the guys who were actually on board or he'd already mindfucked.

Seating order put me between Zexion and Luxord and- here's a fun thing- Roxas between Marluxia and Larxene. Because in a way, he couldn't trust the kid any more than he could the ones actually suspected to be traitors. He was new, and he had that heroic past that he hadn't been able to remember... until now.

I walked into a portal and came out sitting in my chair.

Luxord was already present. Larxene and Marluxia were also there, smirking and muttering over Roxas' empty seat. Demyx was watching them. Vexen and Lexaeus were ignoring everyone, or seemed to be. Xigbar was sitting back, waiting.

"Axel."

"Hey, Luxord," I turned to look at him. "So the kids've been found."

"By Marluxia, apparently."

"He didn't bring them back?"

Luxord looked straight at me. "When he left them, both Xaldin and Saïx were standing guard, waiting for the Superior." He had that look on his face, the smirk that wasn't big enough to be gloating. He thought something was funny, but not enough to laugh about it.

I smirked back. "Well yeah, that'd keep them from going anywhere."

A portal opened, then Saïx was sitting in his chair. He looked at the highest-ranking Number in the room and said, "The Superior has things in-hand. After he has spoken with the traitor, he will bring XIII before us."

Xigbar smirked.

"Traitor?" Marluxia asked. "Was Roxas' crime truly as great as that?"

"All he did was run away with a girl, Saïx," I drawled. "Since when is that treason?" Saïx glared all the way across the room and even though he's not a long-distance fighter, I felt the sting. Xigbar decided to break up the argument before we could start it.

"Except for the running." Xigbar leaned on one arm of his chair and eyed Zexion as he arrived. "Which is funny. Since the kid knows better."

"He does," Xaldin's voice came through the portal and he followed it. Everyone was here but the kids and Xemnas. "He took an action which he expected would result in punishment. Number XIII believed the consequences to be worth whatever he has gained from his actions." Xaldin grasped for his hood. Raised it. The darkness swallowed his face.

The rest of us did the same.

There's an unspoken rule Where Nothing Gathers. If the Elders have their hoods up, you can do what you want, but if they have their hoods down, you gotta have your hood down. You don't follow protocol and eventually there are comments- 'let's see that baby face of yours Demyx'- 'didja burn off your eyebrows again, Axel?'

For the record- no, that never happened.

Some of the Organization takes it as weakness if you need it up. You can't make yourself look attentive- or serious, or calm, or whatever the hell you want to convey to the rest of the group. We're all professionals here- what kind of professionals is the question- but you're supposed to have a face to put on for the occasion.

The Elders say it doesn't mean a thing and that's as much bullshit as anything else.

How ever we don't feel about things, we react. It just happens.

They say your displays are childish- they say you should be able to put your hood down and get through the meeting- they convince you to buy into it so they can watch your expression and know that much more about how to manipulate you best. That's why most of the time, you’d be better off with your hood up, even when you get more out of them being down. You wanna watch them the way they're watching you.

That’s connected to what I said about the height of the seats. Xemnas is always, always highest. But Marluxia's is pretty damn high, and Larxene's. Mine. You sit there mister, with your hood down, where everyone can see if you're misbehaving.

Still, there's an occasion that everyone puts them up. Like that meeting. Everyone’s hood goes up except Xemnas.

Because someone is gonna a get a smack down.

Guess who?

Two portals on the floor. They opened up to reveal the kids. One in the air and Xemnas was present.

Now obviously they were here for their slap on the wrist. As far as most of the Organization knew, that's all that would happen. I knew better. I'd been expecting it for weeks, and here it was. It didn't look like Xemnas planned to start with me. No one had even acknowledged I was in trouble yet- but I knew he'd work his way around.

Roxas had his hood down, Xemnas had his down, Naminé didn't have a hood and usually the point is Xemnas is Talking, girls and boys, and you better be paying attention.

We were. We all were.

Here's a lesson in confrontation.

No matter how badass you may be, if you're outnumbered eleven to two, you stand and you talk until it's clear the time for talk is ended. That's the proceedure for enemies. Roxas and I worked for them. When you're staring at your boss, being told off for breach of rules, you stand there and you take it up the ass. Or you say that you quit and you walk.

Quitting the Organization isn't a viable option.

Naminé was holding his hand. She stood a little behind him, huddled close near his shoulder and not looking at Xemnas, or anyone. Didn't have the defiance built up.

Roxas had it in spades.

"Here's an anomaly," Xemnas broke the silence. He dropped it from his fancy high-ass chair and it shattered into pieces on the floor. The kids flinched.

"The great Keyblade Master, and a Princess of Heart. Two beings, it might have been said, would never produce Nobodies. Yet here they stand. Member in standing and protectorate of Organization XIII. We took you in- gave you position, protection, and here you are, betraying those who aided you."

"We didn't betray-"

Xemnas looked at her and anything Naminé wanted to use to try and save their asses died under his smile.

I remember a saying some old teacher had. 'If you're on time, you're late. If you're late, you're dead.'

If a Nobody smiles, you're fucked. If they frown... I'm sure you get the idea.

"We didn't do anything we weren't supposed to do," Roxas argued.

"Naminé was forbidden to leave Oblivion- for her own protection," Xemnas said reasonably.

"We were fine. Even if Twilight Town was dangerous, which it's not- I'm stronger than anything that would attack us." He paused long enough for Xemnas to open his mouth and then kept going, "But let's skip this. You're going to punish us because you want to- not because we've done something wrong."

Oh, he had balls. You didn't survive, that cute, that small, and that low on the chain of command without 'em.

They didn't mean a damn thing.

Xemnas smiled, towering over them. "This insubordination is troubling, Number XIII." He leaned back, tilted his head to the side. "What would happen to the Organization if its members did not follow rules? What would happen if we did not commit to the service of one leader and abide by the rules he set forth? There would be no Kingdom Hearts, Roxas. There would be no hope for any of us to retrieve our hearts."

They didn't say anything. I wondered if Marluxia had caught that little dig... but of course Xemnas couldn't suspect him of treachery. Oh no, he was so subtle, so careful that the Elders had no idea what was going on. Right.

"Ah," Xemnas kept going, "but that is not precisely true now, is it? You very well could retrieve your hearts. The pair of you."

The collective gaze of the Organization sharpened, even though they already knew all of this, pinning the kids like needles to the floor. Naminé's gaze darted around the room, Roxas didn't turn from Xemnas.

"You could find the still living bodies of Sora and Kairi, combine with them and be one with the Somebodies they are."

Xemnas turned his focus to us, sitting in our thrones, high above and looking down, making the kids seem that much smaller- that much under fire.

"But where would that leave us?" he asked, lifting a hand. "Without a Keyblade Master- without our most effective means of gathering Hearts." He didn't pick up in volume or speed- but the intensity kept rising, "Without a way to retrieve our hearts."

"I wouldn't leave," Roxas burst out, at Xemnas, and turning to appeal to the rest of us. "I want to find a better way to collect hearts, but I'll still do it."

"And if there is no other way?" Xemnas sounded so reasonable, so confident, and it was here- right here. I was watching the best mindfuck I'd ever seen while I was in a position to know it was happening. "The Darkness has been pushed back. There is no force that drives the Heartless now- worlds have returned to being- hearts have left Kingdom Hearts and returned to their previous forms."

"But what if that's what we need to do;" Roxas argued, "drive back enough Darkness that everyone comes back? Every heart would become a somebody and all we have do to is find them!"

Dangerous ground and even as the rest of us thought of that- wondered if it might work, the only one with the balls to challenge Xemnas was doing it... and failing miserably.

Even with the hoods up, I could see Marluxia having Ideas across the room.

"Number XIII," Xemnas imitated patience, "you have been corrupted by a negative influence. His rebellious behavior has taught you to challenge your betters- and that is something the Organization does not tolerate." He raised a hand, pointed, and I tightened my fingers on the arm rests. My chair was sinking- down, down and the kids were staring at me in what looked like horror.

"Not only has Axel encouraged you to disobedience, but the pair of you have corrupted Naminé."

I pushed out of the chair as it stopped, paced forward and reached up for my hood. I was one of the accused- I'd take it like a Nobody. I walked up to stand with them.

"Axel has nothing to do with this."

"Then it was not Axel whom the Snipers observed, walking about with you in Twilight Town?" Nothing Roxas could say to that- and Xemnas looked at me. "The children were caught out of bounds, together, and I have reason to believe you are responsible."

"No he isn't," Roxas said- without actually moving his jaw. Impressive. "I was there observing and-"

He was trying to keep me out of trouble... or he was just being naively honest. Either way, it was weird.

"Who introduced you to Naminé, Number XIII?" Xemnas queried.

"I found her on my own."

He was lying for me. Well gee, Roxas, didn't know you pretended to care.

"There were Dusks to see your visits to Castle Oblivion in Axel's company. To see the excursion to Twilight Town a few short days ago, when his orders were to investigate the Heartless presence in Traverse Town as it dispersed."

"But it was so damn boring," I drawled.

There was a shift in the room. You could almost hear the munny changing hands. I never found out, but I figured there were bets made on whether I'd bitch or start begging.

I don't beg.

"Number VIII, it was your task to nurture XIII, but under your partnership he has grown less efficient. He is argumentative and opinionated-"

"He's acting his age, horrors."

Xemnas smiled.

I shut up.

"It seems we'll have to start over again."

I think my skepticism was showing. I didn't believe he'd actually Dusk Roxas. Kid was too useful for that.

"I will grant you a small amount of leeway for discovering Naminé's usefulness, but it will be a small amount."

Silence, utter silence.

"Roxas will have his memories removed and return to his duties- Naminé will be confined in Castle Oblivion with those who will begin to work there."

They didn't make any noise. No protests- and maybe they were already thinking of ways to get around it- Naminé could put Roxas' memories back. Roxas could find some way to sneak into the castle and see her.

"Axel," he said oh so pleasantly, with the smile that withered testicles, "if you require validation of your existence, I will provide it."

Then. He got up out of his chair.

Xemnas was getting up. He put his hands on the arm rests, pushed up and stood on nothing, then he started to float, down, slow and easy.

It wasn't a ball of Nothing. It wasn't tendrils of energy... but he was getting out of his chair. Whatever he planned to do, it was going to be up-close and personal. I don't need a heart to know when I'm staring death in the face- whatever kind of death it is. My instincts know what it looks like and scream at me to get the fuck out of the way.

They were screaming.

His boots touched ground. Then the sword. One- then the other- etherial blades of red energy and it's been speculated he got the idea of them from a B sci-fi movie. Whether or not they look stupid, they fucking hurt.

I managed to say something- yes sir or yes Superior and I'd taken the serious route. Everyone was watching. Let them think I'd been called to heel. Let Marluxia see the beating I was about to take and think it would be the last straw. Let them think Xemnas was punishing me. I took a step forward-

and Roxas grabbed my wrist.

I looked down, but he wasn't looking at me- staring, scowling at Xemnas.

What the fuck was he doing?

"It's not his fault."

Nobodies aren't supposed to defend each other unless it's part of the mission, so what was he doing? I had a moment of trying to figure that out- and then I realized I could use it.

"Roxas," I said it soft, like I didn't actually want anyone to hear. He didn't look at me. He wouldn't look away from his opponent. From Xemnas.

I shook my head slowly. "Don't."

He heard me. I know he did- but he didn't seem to be paying attention right now because he stepped in front of me and kept walking.

"It's my fault," didn't break stride as he talked, "it was my idea to take Naminé out of the castle. I'll take responsibility," he stopped just out of sword range and pulled the Keyblade. On Xemnas.

I stared. I nearly looked up to check reactions before remembering- oh yeah- hoods were up. Xemnas stared at Roxas, smiling pleasantly, not putting away his weapons, not making a move to engage the kid. I shifted my gaze to Naminé, staring at Roxas, then at me, like she wanted to act but was too afraid, too indecisive.

I looked at her until she looked back, and waited for her to remember. Her eyes got just a little wider. I nodded. Naminé whipped around to stare at him, clenching her fists as Roxas lifted the Keyblade.

Just like the first time- she reached in and pulled.

Roxas stumbled, grunting in pain. The Keyblade fell out of his hand and shattered into sparks before it disappeared. He clutched at his head and tried to keep upright, turning to look at her. Xemnas put away his blades and stepped forward.

His left knee buckled, and the movement of Xemnas' arm, encircling his shoulders, was so smooth it looked rehearsed. He caught Roxas as the kid went limp, swept his other arm beneath Roxas' legs. Xemnas straightened, lifting him, and he looked tiny in the Superior's arms. He looked more like a child than he was- black enfolded in black- only his head and neck visible, cradled. Like he was a baby and equally powerless.

Xemnas stood there, holding him, staring at Naminé.

That's when I realized it was all for her.

Roxas' punishment was a moot point- he wasn't going to remember it- but Naminé.... She'd forged a relationship with him, someone who'd been around when she still had a heart. Now he was being taken away, wouldn't even remember her- and she was the one who got to do it.

Xemnas paced to one side of the room, slowly, staring at her all the while. He didn't kneel when he got there- razor shards of his power reached out of the floor and took Roxas, holding him up, and then sinking back until he was laying on the ground. Xemnas turned his arm where it hung by his side, spread his fingers in Roxas' direction.

Naminé took a step. Then another one. One after another, after another. Her shoulders had turned inward, a little hunched, curled in on herself as she shuffled up to Xemnas.

"Naminé."

She flinched. I could see her trembling from across the room as Xemnas raised her chin with his fingers, lifting until she met his gaze.

"I have confidence in your ability to make things right."

Then he turned. I wondered if we'd been wrong this whole time and Naminé wasn't a Nobody after all.

Nobodies couldn't cry.

I could feel the hunger above me. The kids had put on a show. Connection that looked real, emotion that looked real, and all the eyes in the house were on us. The air felt sharp, dangerous.

... Or maybe that was just Xemnas' power.

I had to order my Assassins back. They're loyal, crazy loyal- since we have no hearts- to us. The lower Dusks follow orders of whichever Nobody talks first, but the ones that change their shape for us... I didn't need them attacking Xemnas and depleating the population. I lost enough on a daily basis to their kamikaze routine.

"You may resist," he said, spreading his arms to the sides. "I expect it."

"Thanks so much," I muttered. I called the chakrams, acted like I wasn't sure I'd come back from this, like I hated it, but there wasn't anything I could do about it. Lookie lookie, Marluxia! Xemnas is being so mean to me. He's such a jerk. I'd love to help you beat him up!

Asshole didn't even bring the swords back. Instead, he used the razor vines. No... not vines. More like ribbons of metal with serrated edges. Black, white, you can dodge them but they follow you. They snake around until it's a cage and you're in the middle, no way out, and they just keep snaking inward.

Yeah, it hurt.

No, you're not getting more detail.

But I remember coughing black smoke onto the floor. Seeing Naminé off to the side, kneeling beside Roxas and clutching his hand like he could do something while he lay unconscious on the ground. I remember thinking maybe I should laugh.

All this trouble to mindfuck the girl and she wasn't even getting a coat.

I woke up to find Assassins hanging out of the ceiling.

Their arms waved in no breeze, like the spikiest bed curtain that never existed. Every now and then one trailed over my chest, like they were making sure I was still there. I blacked out again. When I woke up, they'd withdrawn and Xemnas was standing there.

I tried to get up and fuck did it hurt. My hand made contact with whatever I was laying on and it wasn't all that comfortable. Too hard to be a bed, too high off the floor to be the ground.

"Superior-" I figured a little ass kissing wouldn't be bad right then. He'd gone to town- drawing out the treatment to make the rest of the Organization think twice. It probably worked.

But then they'd thought a third time and ended up right back where they'd started.

Xemnas put a hand on my chest and pushed down. I didn't resist, wouldn't have if I could. If he didn't want me to get up, that was just fine.

"A fine job, Number VIII."

"Thanks boss," I muttered. His hand spread right over my lack of heart and stayed there. Xemnas didn't visit the flunkies much, but as far as my experience goes, he's a touchy-feely kind of guy.

At least he didn't expect me to get up.

"Number XI came to me only this day with a proposal."

I smirked. Fisherman had taken the bait.

"He offered to accept you as a subordinate during his stay in Castle Oblivion. After all- it would separate you from Number XIII, to whom you have grown so attached. A punishment as well, for you to serve under one of the very lowest in our hierarchy."

I tried to chuckle. Stopped because it hurt.

"Well done, Number VIII. Well done indeed. Report to Number XI once you have recovered."

He left. If I could have moved, I would have gone back to my own room. I had not a chance in hell to open a portal. Xemnas had seriously worked me over. Nothing to do but lay there or sleep, so I laid there... and then I slept.

Woke up licking something off my mouth. Potion. I heard glass clicking against glass and saw Zexion standing over me, pulling the stopper away from my lips.

He moved closer once he saw I was awake, leaned the glass against my lip and poured slowly. Halfway through the bottle I could hold it myself.

Sitting up worked a little better this time.

"I couldn't have one before?" I drawled. He pulled a second one from his pocket.

"Another consequence of your transgression," Zexion offered the full bottle. "It would be wise to use this after your briefing with Marluxia." He handed it over.

Show him the kicked dog cozying up to a new master. Good idea. I pushed the bottle down into my pocket, grinning all the way.

"Xemnas made the announcement while you were recovering. There are six to be stationed at Castle Oblivion. Vexen, Lexaeus, Marluxia, Larxene, and ourselves. Naminé, of course, has been confined there for study and is under Marluxia's care."

I grunted and climbed to my feet, leaned against the table.

"Marluxia has gained lordship over the castle."

I made the closest thing to a laugh my abused body could manage. "I'm sure Vexen was pleased as all hell."

Zexion decided to smirk at that. "As it will seem suspicious- and flouting your restrictions- if you leave, you will cease to report to Xigbar for the duration of this assignment."

I nodded. "You're taking over?"

"I have." He opened a portal.

I straightened up, rolled my shoulders. I cracked my neck- big mistake- and limped into the Darkness.

"Axel!"

Larxene sounded as sympathetic as she ever got- hard to believe when she's purring at the lovely pain at the same time she's tutting over your wounds. She hugged my arm between her tits and smiled.

"Are you okay?" Didn't wait for a response, "I'll take care of you later," she sing-songed. "We can have a little fun and make you feel better."

"Tempting as that is," I smirked, "Xemnas' fun left me trailing shadows. I don't think I'd survive any more."

"Such a crime to punish you so harshly," Marluxia said, without a smile, "and on a technicality. After all, he never did say the children were to be kept apart."

Gee, that justification sounded familiar.

"He's an uptight bastard," I shrugged, and the wince wasn't fake. Larxene cooed over me and pushed me into a chair. I wasn't happy about letting her at my back. I didn't care whether she was rubbing it or not, but I was supposed to be getting close to Marluxia, and Larxene was close to him. So I slouched in the chair, leaned into her touch and eyed the lord of the manor.

"So," I said, "you're the new Superior."

Larxene stopped moving for a second. Marluxia smiled. "Within this castle, yes."

"I hadn't planned on coming," I said. "Not that I don't appreciate the invitation."

"Nevertheless, I am sure you will do your utmost to see a swifter collection of hearts," he said pleasantly. "I trust you to serve me as you would the Elders. Or better, perhaps?" and his smirk widened a little, eyes narrowed. Oh that was a threat.

"Better. I'm not all that impressed by the Elders right now," I said. My face was still, no expression. "Never was, actually."

"Oh," Larxene giggled in my ear, "we hadn't noticed."

Marluxia was smiling, confident and expectant and I figured I could count this as a good start. He had blue eyes. I'd known that before. Three of us there. My memories grabbed for familiarity and found that Larxene was not Naminé. Marluxia was not Roxas.

"Welcome to Oblivion."

The room felt cold.

...Maybe it was just me.

~~~