I Will Love You 'til My Muzzle Turns Grey (6/?)
Title: I Will Love You 'til My Muzzle Turns Grey (6/?)
Author: spnkinkfan.livejournal.com
Pairing: J2
Word Count: 1148
Rating: NC-17 eventually
Warnings: (grabs her courage with both hands) Jared has some "private" time
Disclaimer: I own nothing, but I wouldn't mind bringing Jensen home and worshiping that beautiful stomach for the rest of our lives.
A/N: I've lost some readers and that makes me very sad. Real life is not very forgiving right now, though, and I'm doing my best. It's all I can do.
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Six Months Ago (that same night) -
~Jared~
Jared charged through his front door, slamming and locking it behind himself. He leaned heavily against the cool metal, gasping for air.
He knew it was probably a bad idea to go running late at night without his dogs. However where a run would hopefully wear him down enough to sleep, it was guaranteed to wind the kids up and keep them up all night. So when he could not fall asleep, or when the nightmares woke him up, he would slip out quietly and try to run himself ragged.
It had taken some time for the nightmares to dial back a few notches. There were even nights now where he managed to sleep mostly straight through. A few at least.
Jared had relived that day a thousand times in his head. What he had heard and seen, what Jensen had told him, trying to rationalize it away. At first, it was not that difficult. What logical human being could ever really believe such things as werewolves exist? And if you did bring yourself to believe, did you then have to entertain the notion of the existence of other things? Vampires? Fae? Goblins? The idea was enough to drive a sane person mad.
In the end, though, he could not deny what had happened that day. At first, the flashbacks to those awful college days were almost more than he could stand. Adding anything on top of that would have been too much to bear, so he made his mind up that he had imagined or misheard what he thought he remembered. Once the initial terror passed, though, it was nearly impossible to convince himself that he had imagined any of it.
Jared headed down the hall toward the shower, shedding sweat-soaked clothing along the way. His jog had started off at a comfortable, ground-eating pace. Enough to run some energy off, not so much that he would be aching and stiff in the morning. He could have sworn he heard something behind him after he turned the far edge of his loop and was headed back toward home. He passed it off as nothing until he heard a second noise farther on and thought he heard the sound of claws scrabbling on concrete. His late-night jog became a dash for home.
As the bathroom filled with steam, his thoughts turned back to Jensen. He thought of the way Jensen's eyes had glowed green, the dangerous black claws that had sprouted from his hands. Jared's visceral reaction to anger quelled, he could now understand Jensen had been protecting him. It warmed him inside to think of someone caring for him enough to stand up for him that way. Rationally he knew if he were exposed to it again it would probably still frighten him, considering his history. In that moment with distance and time between himself and the event, however, he could appreciate the feeling of being protected so fiercely.
He stepped under the hot spray, wetting his sweat-soaked hair further. Palms against the cool tile, he leaned forward and let the heat start to work the kinks out of his tense shoulders. There had been several people in the room that day. Most seemed normal, rational. That Ted guy sounded like a complete thug. It made Jared wonder which of them was the rule and which was the exception. Were most of them like Jensen, compassionate and seemingly so human? Or was he an aberration, and they were more like their wild counterparts: feral and vicious?
Jared was not sure he really wanted to find out.
The intelligence that had shone through the eyes of the two giant wolves was undeniable. Could they really have been humans in wolf form? Was that even possible? So many unanswered questions.
Dumping some shower gel onto a thick washcloth he worked up a foamy lather. Using the slight friction it provided, he massaged his mildly achey pecs as they rippled and bunched with the movement. He slowly slid the cloth lower, slicking up the flat plane of his belly. Setting the cloth aside he worked the lather into his skin with his palms. His fingers thubba-thumped softly down the ridges of his abdominals, down into the soft, neatly trimmed hair at his groin.
Jared could not suppress a smile as another memory of Jensen surfaced. The familiar smirk quirking the corner of the other man's lip the first time Jared stripped for him, revealing those tiny dimples Jared cherished so much, "You realize you don't need to trim the hedges to make that monster look any bigger, right?" Jared had blushed so deep his face felt as though it would catch on fire. Then Jensen had started stripping down and Jared's embarrassment was forgotten in the face of all that gorgeous pale-honey toned, freckled skin.
The memory sent Jared's blood rushing South, he clamped a hand at the base of his rapidly hardening thickness with a low moan. It had been six months. Jensen was sexy and amazing, surely he had found someone else by now. Jared still had his memories, though. Those were his to hold onto forever.
Feather kisses along heated skin, a rough tongue dragged across a nipple, a large warm palm pressed low on his belly. The ghosts of Jensen's touches burned across his skin as his hips settled into a rhythm. The comforting weight of a strong, solid body pressing him into the mattress. Their sweat-slicked bodies sliding together like the only two pieces of one big puzzle. The warm, musky scent that was just Jensen still burned into his senses even after so long.
Jared's stomach clenched as his release spattered against the tile, tearing a gasp from his throat. He leaned against the wall under the rapidly cooling water, panting for air as he waited for his racing heartbeat to return to normal.
Toweling off half-heartedly Jared dropped his aching body into bed nude, too tired to bother with sleepwear. He could admit to himself he still loved Jensen, missed him in every way possible. The uncertainty of trying to live in the werewolf world after what he had seen was just too overwhelming for him to consider.
Before sleep finally closed in over him, he finally had a flash of complete honesty with himself. He had walked out on Jensen. No. He had run out on Jensen and had never made an effort to make contact since. Jared knew he had hurt Jensen badly, knew that every day that had passed since had just compounded that hurt. As warm and loving as Jensen was, Jared could not imagine he was still alone after all these months.
The thought of seeing Jensen happy with another was more than Jared's fragile heart could take, even though it was his own fault the possibility was even there.
Part 1 Part 2 Part 3 Part 4 Part 5 Part 7 Part 8 Part 9 Part 10 Part 11 Part 12 Part 13 Part 14 Part 15 (Epilogue)