forget me not
What makes us who we are? Are we the sum of our experiences or is that something essentially, authentically unique about our Self, that persists even when our memories are stripped away?
Who would Sam and Dean be if they had no memory of hunting, of their losses, of each other? Amnesia fics give us a chance to explore these themes of identity and self - plus they’re also a nifty way to get two brothers to have sex.
There have been some great amnesia fics among this year’s Big Bangs, so I thought I’d include those, and some of my other favourite amnesia fics here. I have to say I would rate all these stories as examples of the best writing around.
For more amnesia fics see wearethestars' post here. And please comment with any of your favourites.
That I could travel light by kres Gen, R.
Set after Born Under a Bad Sign, the boys wake up in a destroyed house and Sam has lost his memory. A story that gives us a great sort of outsider’s POV on Dean from amnesiac Sam, but as you’re enjoying that, a sense of foreboding creeps in about what has really happened to Sam. The twist in this story is a killer - evil genius level - and I never saw it coming. Makes you go back and immediately read the whole fic again!
Skies grown darker by parenthetical Gen, R.
Picking up after Children Shouldn't Play With Dead Things with the boys still struggling with their grief and each other, a simple case results in Dean losing bits of his memory and getting them back has unexpected effects. The story then ties back into canon mythology, and we get the return of the wonderful Tessa. Great brotherly dynamics in this, and some especially delicious hurt/comfort.
Ashes of another life by lostt1 Sam/Dean, NC-17.
When Sam leaves for Stanford, Dean is hurt, but things get much worse when he finally goes to Stanford to see him. Sam has no memory of Dean, in fact he doesn’t think of himself as a Winchester. This story tore at my heart, because Sam’s life here is good. Just because it’s not real, is that so bad? Wonderfully constructed world, great Sam and Dean and bonus adorable version of Jess.
What remains by walkawayslowly Sam/Dean, NC-17.
Stunning artwork by yuanhua here
Dean saves a town, and loses his memory. When they find out he’s wanted by the law, they take him in, and help him build a life. When Sam finds him - he’s torn between wanting Dean back in their old life, and wanting to be part of Dean’s new life. Stunning characterization of both Sam and Dean, great portrayal of them building/rebuilding a relationship. The sex was just everything I love - intimate and hot. You’ll also fall in love with Nelson, the town cop who is a fully formed and adorable character in his own right, as well as providing a great POV on Dean.
Of Bastard Saints by nilchance and beanside Gen, R.
Audiobook read by embroiderama and grrli. The readers take a POV each in this fantastic recording.
Written after Devil’s Trapall the Winchesters survive the crash, but Dean loses his memory and flees the hospital. This wonderful tale alternates between John and Sam’s quest to find Dean, and Dean’s quest to find himself as it slowly moves into a tale that takes the shows mythology and makes it epic. The brilliant writing keeps the tension high throughout this story, as well as providing us with great character insights. It’s particularly satisfying in its portrait of Sam and John’s relationship.
A Priori by memphis86 Sam/Dean, NC-17
Mp3 and mp4 versions of the podfic by dodificus here.
Sam wakes up half-blind, in a monastery with no idea who he is. Then Dean turns up, but why won’t he reveal to Sam who he really is? Incredibly insightful look at how someone can be the same but different after losing their memory and the explanation of how the boys ended up in this situation that hit me hard and hurt. The relationship between Sam in his new self as David, and Dean is heart-warming, hot and heart-breaking. Just remembering this fic makes me ache.
Who would Sam and Dean be if they had no memory of hunting, of their losses, of each other? Amnesia fics give us a chance to explore these themes of identity and self - plus they’re also a nifty way to get two brothers to have sex.
There have been some great amnesia fics among this year’s Big Bangs, so I thought I’d include those, and some of my other favourite amnesia fics here. I have to say I would rate all these stories as examples of the best writing around.
For more amnesia fics see wearethestars' post here. And please comment with any of your favourites.
That I could travel light by kres Gen, R.
Set after Born Under a Bad Sign, the boys wake up in a destroyed house and Sam has lost his memory. A story that gives us a great sort of outsider’s POV on Dean from amnesiac Sam, but as you’re enjoying that, a sense of foreboding creeps in about what has really happened to Sam. The twist in this story is a killer - evil genius level - and I never saw it coming. Makes you go back and immediately read the whole fic again!
Skies grown darker by parenthetical Gen, R.
Picking up after Children Shouldn't Play With Dead Things with the boys still struggling with their grief and each other, a simple case results in Dean losing bits of his memory and getting them back has unexpected effects. The story then ties back into canon mythology, and we get the return of the wonderful Tessa. Great brotherly dynamics in this, and some especially delicious hurt/comfort.
Ashes of another life by lostt1 Sam/Dean, NC-17.
When Sam leaves for Stanford, Dean is hurt, but things get much worse when he finally goes to Stanford to see him. Sam has no memory of Dean, in fact he doesn’t think of himself as a Winchester. This story tore at my heart, because Sam’s life here is good. Just because it’s not real, is that so bad? Wonderfully constructed world, great Sam and Dean and bonus adorable version of Jess.
What remains by walkawayslowly Sam/Dean, NC-17.
Stunning artwork by yuanhua here
Dean saves a town, and loses his memory. When they find out he’s wanted by the law, they take him in, and help him build a life. When Sam finds him - he’s torn between wanting Dean back in their old life, and wanting to be part of Dean’s new life. Stunning characterization of both Sam and Dean, great portrayal of them building/rebuilding a relationship. The sex was just everything I love - intimate and hot. You’ll also fall in love with Nelson, the town cop who is a fully formed and adorable character in his own right, as well as providing a great POV on Dean.
Of Bastard Saints by nilchance and beanside Gen, R.
Audiobook read by embroiderama and grrli. The readers take a POV each in this fantastic recording.
Written after Devil’s Trapall the Winchesters survive the crash, but Dean loses his memory and flees the hospital. This wonderful tale alternates between John and Sam’s quest to find Dean, and Dean’s quest to find himself as it slowly moves into a tale that takes the shows mythology and makes it epic. The brilliant writing keeps the tension high throughout this story, as well as providing us with great character insights. It’s particularly satisfying in its portrait of Sam and John’s relationship.
A Priori by memphis86 Sam/Dean, NC-17
Mp3 and mp4 versions of the podfic by dodificus here.
Sam wakes up half-blind, in a monastery with no idea who he is. Then Dean turns up, but why won’t he reveal to Sam who he really is? Incredibly insightful look at how someone can be the same but different after losing their memory and the explanation of how the boys ended up in this situation that hit me hard and hurt. The relationship between Sam in his new self as David, and Dean is heart-warming, hot and heart-breaking. Just remembering this fic makes me ache.