The Winchester Chronicles 4:1-8, for annie46
Title: The Winchester Chronicles 4:1-8
Recipient: annie46
Rating: PG-13
Word Count: 4,859
Warnings: major character death
Author's Notes: This is kind of a combination of the prompts: How is Sam gong to deal with those black eyes, a fic that deals with Sam's guilt over lying to Dean about not wanting to save him. How does Sam react when his brother is dying in front of his eyes, and the recipient not wanting them to have to work with anyone else to come up with a solution?
Also thanks to my beta for stepping in at the last minute to help.
Summary: Dean is dead and Cas is MIA. Once again all alone in the world, Sam has to rely on what he learned from family and friends to get his brother back.
You would think that Sam would be used to this, seeing Dean die. Once he had watched the man die for a month straight in a Groundhog Day come to life and he had even buried the man once and it hurt every fucking time. This time was no different.
Sam held his brother and watched as, with every drop of blood, his life drained from the gaping would that Metatron put in his heart. Sam knew that even if the hurt was not different, the outcome was. This time there was no God or trench coated angel to patch up the heart that was literally broken, and bring him back to life.
Sam knew that this time he would really have to live without the only person who loved him unconditionally, and he was not sure if he could do that again. He had tried the year Dean was in purgatory, had gotten a job and a girl, Amelia, but he gave her and that life up so easily when Dean reappeared. Perhaps he should have stayed with her. Perhaps he should have stayed in Palo Alto, because either would have been easier than watching Dean die. Again.
He remembered Dean’s final words before he slipped out of Sam’s reach, I’m proud of us. Proud. Dean’s last breath was telling Sam that he was proud of him even though he had fucked up things between them. He had told his brother that they could be partners or brothers, but they could not be both. What kind of fucked up shit was that?
Perhaps a part of him was hoping that Dean would have chosen their fraternal bond over their working one, but he should not have been surprised that Dean chose hunting. It gave him the best of both worlds, his brother and hunting. Besides, he had to know that Sam would eventually come around.
It still hurt that he had denied Dean the one thing that meant the most to him and expected his brother to sever a bond that had been formed when their dad placed baby Sam in his arms and sent him running from a burning house.
This time it was Sam carrying Dean away from a supernatural mess. He carried Dean’s battered and lifeless body from the filthy tent city that Metatron had lured them to and gently placed him in his car. Sam cried at having to place Dean in the trunk until he could get him back home to the bunker. It still felt weird calling the bunker home, but Dean deemed it so and now he was gone.
Once back at the bunker, Sam gently placed his brother on his bed along with the knife that had become a part of him. It was the cause of his death and Sam wanted to destroy it, but it would be like killing Dean again.
Sam’s not sure how long he stood there at the door of Dean’s room, crying and just staring at his brother. He looked as though he was asleep and any minute he would wake up and snap at Sam for being a creeper. The longer he stood there, Sam took notice of the little touches that Dean had placed around the room.
While Sam, who had always said he wanted normal, had left his room just as sterile as he’d found it Dean’s was quite the opposite. There were photos placed around the room of his mom, dad, and them as small children. He recognized some of them as the ones that Jenny had found in the basement of their old home in Lawrence.
There were posters of some of Dean’s favorite bands also adorning the walls. He probably would have out grown this had he been able to do this as a teenager, but now given the chance, Dean had decorated his room the way he’d envisioned as they grew up on the road in impersonal motel rooms.
Once the tears were cried out, Sam made his way to their war room to do some research. When Dean sold his soul to bring Sam back to life, Sam remembered searching the ends of the earth to bring his brother back, but this time he didn’t have to. He had all the answers he needed right here, he just had to find them.
He remembered when Larry Ganem placed the key to this place in his hands he felt as though he had been given the answer to the meaning of life, and perhaps it was time to think like that again. There had to be a spell or some kind of hoodoo to bring Dean back.
Sam searched the books for hours and found nothing. Well it might as well have been nothing because everything that he found lent itself to having Dean come back as a monster of some sort. As much as he wanted his brother back, there was no way he was going to make him something that would have to be hunted.
The last book that he thought might give him something turned out to be necromancy and just…no. After finding no solution in the books, he replaced them in the stacks and then in the time honored Winchester tradition, Sam went to the bar and poured himself a stiff drink. He was going to finish the drink before building a pyre for his brother when it hit him.
Crowley.
He was the reason that Dean was dead. Taking him to see Cain and watching while his brother took on the goddamned Mark that was never meant for him. Crowley did it to save his ass and cost him his brother; the least he could do was bring him back. Thanks to Dean killing Crowley’s rival Abaddon, the bastard was once again the King of Hell, so it was in his realm of power, and besides, he owed Dean that much.
Tossing back the rest of his drink, Sam gathered what he needed for the summoning ritual and began to call the demon forth. For some reason, he didn’t come immediately, causing Sam to curse and question the demon’s paternity.
“Hold your horses, Moose,” came the sarcastic reply from the middle of the devil’s trap that Sam had drawn to summon the demon.
“I want him back, Crowley,” Sam growled, ignoring the demons’ insult. “You’re the reason he’s dead; you have the power to do it, so you -you bring him back!”
“Really?” Crowley asked sounding amused at Sam’s accusation. “Why would I do that? I mean, you think that I should bring him back and just turn him over to you so you can plot to kill me as you have been itching to do. I don’t think so Moose.”
Sam walked over to the table he’d set up before summoning Crowley and picked up a syringe from among the items distributed there. He sauntered back, stood in front of his captive, and let him watch as he drew blood from his vein. Sam had forgotten how painful this was, but all things good in his life were born from pain.
Holding it up so Crowley could see, Sam said “I have something you need and you can give me what I need, so how ‘bout we trade. The sooner you give in the sooner you’re outta here.”
“I’m good, Sam,” the bastard smirked.
“For now,” Sam agreed. “But we both know that soon you’re gonna be jonesing like some crack head willing to sell his soul for another hit.”
“Hey, don’t knock crack heads; that was some of my finest work. Kept the souls coming in.”
“Bring him back, Crowley.” Sam demanded again.
“Why, Sam? Why should I bring him back? If you remember, I was a part of you and I know what you were thinking. What is going on in that head of yours? Ruby, Amelia, Amy and all of the other ways you’ve hurt Dean made you realize that no matter what you did, Dean’s sacrifice was always better. You didn’t want to die; you just didn’t want to be bested by your big brother again.”
Sam wanted nothing more than to use the demon knife on Crowley to shut him up, but that would impede his goal of getting his brother back.
“Come on Sam, admit it, you finally realized that Dean’s sacrifice was more God friendly. That your brother gave God the blood sacrifice that he wanted and you came along with your gluten free offerings and they weren’t enough. Dean was always the prize Sam. He even took the ultimate sacrifice, the Mark of Cain…”
“Shut up Crowley,” Sam warned. “The only thing I want from you is my brother.”
“Ohhhhh Sammy, it’s good to know that you cared enough to try this time,” a familiar voice snarked from behind him.
“Dean?” Sam whispered too scared to turn around.
“In the flesh,” Dean replied.
“Nice of you to finally join us, Dean,” Crowley greeted impatiently, “now how’s about being daddy’s good little demon and get me out of this thing.”
Ignoring Crowley, Sam turned and rushed towards his brother and embraced him in a bear hug. “We both have done things to hurt the other and I don’t know why, I expect you to be perfect when I’m not.” Sam confessed through his tears. “This time there’s no Amelia, or Benny, just you and me.”
When he let go, he pulled his face from Dean’s neck, wiped his tears and smiled but quickly let go and stumbled backwards once he saw Dean’s eyes. They were black, not green.
“Exorcizamus te, omnis immundus spiritus, omnis satanica potestas, omnis incursio infernalis adversarii, omnis legio, et secta diabolica…” Sam began as he realized that Crowley had let a demon possess his brother’s body.
“Not that that will do any good, but you should know that that’s Dean, not stunt demon number two, so if it were to work, you’d be exorcising Dean.” Crowley informed Sam as Dean walked past him and broke the demon trap and set their nemesis free.
“Ergo Draco maledicte et sectio,” Sam continued praying that Crowley was wrong, that Dean was no longer inhabiting his body, but then he remembered. Cain was a demon and as long as he bore that Mark, no harm could come to him. Before he could say anything,Crowley snapped his fingers, he and Dean were gone.
“Fucking devil!” Sam yelled as he threw the syringe towards the empty space.
Okay, okay, Sam thought, Dean was alive, but Dean was now a demon,he’s got an entire fucking library of books and spells at his disposal and he’s so emotional that he can’t concentrate on where he should start. God he missed Bobby and the kick in the ass the man would give him for acting like a girl.
You would think that with everything that he and Dean had experienced, that he wouldn’t get overwhelmed, but each time he witnesses Dean’s death: like a punch, and this: well, this has just gutted him. It took him a minute, and a half a bottle of Jack, but Sam got his mind and emotions in check in order to think about where he should start and then he saw it: the syringe. The last trial. He’d done it before, well almost done it. Cured a demon that is. Why not again. Dean had not been one for long and still had to retain his humanity, so perhaps it would be easier than when he’d been working on Crowley.
Even though he didn’t get to complete the transformation, Crowley was not the same evil monster that he’d been before. Sam still didn’t trust him, but he was a little bit more human now.
His new problem was that he didn’t know where Dean was, or where Crowley had taken him. He could trap the older demon in another devils trap, but then he’d just have Dean to set him free. Oh, god, he was going to have to trap Dean in one as well. Everyone he trusted was gone, leaving no one to turn to for help, so how the hell was he going to get them both there at the same time.
The ritual to call a demon was simple as long as you had the right ingredients, but the problem was that he needed to call them both at the same time and that’s what he needed to figure out. He gathered the items needed for the ritual and drew another devils trap in a different room because he didn’t want the two men to communicate with one another. As he was gathering the items for the ritual, Sam came across some old recording equipment and that was when the idea came to him. Record one and do the other live, and that way he didn’t have to worry about Dean being under Crowley’s influence and freeing him again.
As he repaired and repainted the destroyed trap Dean had released Crowley from earlier, he began to entertain the idea of drawing Dean’s in the space he had claimed when they found the bunker. In the room where Dean had found the bit of normalcy, that Sam had been seeking his entire life. Perhaps if the things that mean so much to him surround him, it would be easier to cure him, to bring Dean back.
Taking his phone from his pocket, Sam recorded the spell, went to Dean’s room, and looked around. It would be easy to bless it, but it was easier to go to the small chapel the Men Of Letters had in place so he walked down the hall to begin.
Sam walked into the confessional and thought that it felt like Deja vu all over again. He shook his head and mumbled, “oh, God, I’m channeling Dean.”
This time the confession was different. He confessed the jealously he felt when his much adored brother spent time with others. He begged forgiveness for the judgment of Dean’s actions that was designed to keep him safe, but most importantly, he begged forgiveness for driving a wedge between them and allowing the enemy in. This time he wanted to be the brother that Dean deserved, because it was a proven fact that they had more power to destroy each other quicker than anything supernatural did.
After he confessed his sins, Sam pressed play and waited for Dean to appear.
“I guess that I should be glad that you cared enough that I got live and not Memorex,” Dean quipped when he appeared in the trap.
“Bollocks!” Sam heard Crowley scream through the air vent. He ignored it because the only reason for the demons presence was so that he wouldn’t interfere with Dean.
As Sam looked at the items on the table, he thought about how ridiculously good it felt to hear Dean call him Sammy. He cannot remember the last time he’d heard his brother call him that, but it felt wrong hearing it coming from that black-eyed thing in front of him.
Sam looked at his brother, or rather the facsimile thereof, and was upset when he saw the black eyes. “Dean, may I see your eyes…please?”
“These are my eyes, Sammy,” Dean replied in a tone that Sam knew well. It was the one he used when he was hiding something. Usually Sam could look into green eyes and get a read on his brother, but the black eyes took away his ability to do so.
Hoping that, if like Crowley said, that, this was still HIS Dean, the brother would give him anything, Sam stepped in front of the chair and asked softly, “Dean, please let me see your eyes.”
Like a switch that had been flipped, Dean’s eyes went from solid black to the green that Sam remembered. He smiled when Dean couldn’t fight his instincts and gave in at his soft pleading, but the smile faded when he noted that Dean’s eyes were red and swollen and Sam knew immediately that that condition had nothing to do with black eyes.
Had Dean been…crying?
It tore Sam apart to think that his big,strong,keep everything locked inside, no chick flick moments brother had been crying.
“What happened, Dean?” Sam asked with a touch of hesitation in his voice because he wasn’t sure if Dean would answer.
Sam could sense a hesitation in his brother before the older man replied, “When I wore Death’s ring, it was different, you know. It was hard taking the life of another, but it was natural selection, and besides,it was what I needed to do to get you back. What the King of Hell had me do was not that. It was collecting the soul of someone who was desperate enough to bargain for the life of their loved one, it was a wife wanting to give her husband a child and as much as I hated it, Crowley fucking loved it. The only similarity was that I had no control over either situation.”
“Dean, I promise, I’m trying.” Sam implored. “I’ve searched every inch of this place and the only thing I could come up with was the demon cure.”
“I’m sure you have, Sam, but remember I can’t die. The hole that Metatron put in my chest, it’s gone, healed. I’m pretty sure that means that this cure won’t work because being a demon makes it possible for me to handle the Mark, but I’ve got nothing but time so we’ll give it the old college try.”
“If it doesn’t work Dean, then I’ll keep him in that trap until I find a solution. You gotta trust me Dean, we’ll find something.”
“How, Sam?” Dean asked. “I know that you’ve probably wished for Bobby a million times, but we have no one to help us. Our friends are dead, and I’m not sure where Cas is. That means that you have to keep me here too, because the demon in me wants to protect him and that instinct is getting stronger by the minute.”
Sam was sure that there were several times in the past that Dean has wanted to give up, but he didn’t vocalize it, but then Sam’s safety was usually involved. Now that it was just his safety on the line, Dean was giving up, but Sam was not going to let him.
“Let’s get started, shall we,” Sam said as he plunged the needle into Dean’s neck.
Eight hours later, Sam was tired and Dean was irritated. To show him that the blood did not work, Dean presented his little brother with midnight black eyes, and this time Sam wanted to cry. Without saying another word, he left the chapel and went back to the war room to start over.
Feeling like a failure, Sam sat buried in books trying to find a way to cure Dean, to get his brother back. He would have to approach this the same way they did when they were trying to stop the duel at Stull Cemetery in their home town of Lawrence Kansas.
As they sought to find a way to end the apocalypse, Bobby pulled several resolutions, well most of what they needed from the book of Revelations in the Bible. Revelations would not help them now, becaue that book was about the end of the world. Could it be that simple? Was what he was looking for in Genesis, the beginning of the Bible?
Of course, the Men of Letters would not have a simple King James Version; they had one to rival the Codex Sinaiticus. The only reason Sam knew it wasn’t that old was the fact that it was written in English and not Greek.
He carefully read the book of Genesis until he found the verses concerning Cain and his brother Abel and really took notice when he read chapter 4: 1-8. Except for the part about him killing his older brother, this really could have been the Winchester verse.
He learned that Cain was a homebody and loved to return there and was just as upset at the thought of leaving there as he was about displeasing God. After he read that passage, Sam thought about his and Dean’s travels and where they had been and realized that all roads lead back to Kansas, to home. Perhaps Cain felt the same.
Slowly, he walked back to the chapel to face Dean. He had an idea, and it was the only one he could think of, but he didn’t want to fail his brother again.
“Dean, how hard was it to take the Mark of Cain?” Sam asked once he entered the room.
“Wasn’t hard, kind of like a hand shake,” Dean shrugged.
“So, it wouldn’t be that hard to give it back to him then?”
“It’s nothing I could force on him, Sam. He’d have to want it back.” Dean corrected the assumption. “But first we need to find him.”
“I can do a location spell for that;do you think you can get us there once we’ve found him?”
“Yeah, I can do that Sam.”
The Tigress and Euphrates rivers, by both religious and scientific accounts, all life started here. Per the scientists, this was the cradle of life and by the religious scholars; this was the Garden of Eden, and Cain’s birthplace. It was his home until he committed the first murder and became the Father of Death. He held that title for thousands of years until Dean took the title and the burden.
Just as Sam thought, Cain had made his way home, or as close as he could get in modern times. He stood over a small rise looking down at the rivers. Sam knew that the man had to hear when he and Dean arrived but he did not acknowledge their presence.
“You would not believe how beautiful this place was when I was a child,” Cain finally broke the silence as he waved his hands towards the rivers. “Everything was new and wonderful and we really didn’t have a care in the world. By the time I was born we could not enter the actual garden, but even the fringes of paradise were beautiful. I even named a couple of animals, but they’re extinct now.”
“The walk down memory lane is all well and good, but you know why we’re here,” Dean interrupted as he held up the knife. “I needed the Mark and this to kill that red headed bitch, but she’s dead and for a minute I was too. Too bad I wasn’t told that I would need to become a demon to handle the power of the Mark.”
“Crowley knew,” Cain, advised him.
“Like he was gonna share that bit of info with us,” Sam said. “You could have told him.”
“Crowley’s my boss, kinda of hard to cross someone when you can’t get fired, but you can be punished.”
Sam pursed his lips together to keep from replying, but then thought better of it. There was no reason to pussyfoot around Cain, because there was nothing he could do to them. Dean held all of the power, so he pulled a pouch from his pocket and said, “The wonderful thing about being a Man of Letters is that there is an unending amount of knowledge available to Dean and me. If you fight us on this, well I came prepared for that as well.”
As he spoke, Sam noticed that Dean seemed antsy and walked away from him and Cain. Sam hadn’t told Dean about his plan “B”, but he shouldn’t be surprised. He wasn’t sure what was going on but he was sure that it had something to do with the Mark so he would try to hurry it along.
“I come here every century or so,” Cain, said absently as they watched Dean walk away. “This is the spot where I can still feel my brother’s presence, the place where I took his life. When I had the Mark, I could still smell his blood in the ground and feel his energy. As I don’t have the Mark, the sense is just a memory, but Dean is feeling it and that’s why he is a little agitated right now. There is no need for drastic measures Sam, the Mark is my punishment, meant for me to bear so I’ll take it back.”
Sam relaxed a little at the other man’s words. He had not lied though; he was prepared to incapacitate the older man so that Dean could transfer the Mark back.
“Let’s get started then.”
“So eager aren’t you. This is your big chance to do something for your brother hmmm, a way to show him that you won’t kill him again.”
“Wait…what?” Sam sputtered, “I have never killed my brother.”
“Maybe not in deed, but words wound and some of them can be fatal. Each time you ran away or rejected him, you might as well have put a bullet through his heart because to him the result was the same.”
“What you know about us would fit on the head of a pin,” Sam stated in a voice so cold it would have a lesser man walking away. He was angry. Why did everyone think that all that was wrong between him and Dean was his fault? “Quit stalling and do what you promised, and then you can go back to reliving killing your brother.”
“You still don’t get it Sam, do you? You think, that people don’t know that Dean has done his fair share to cause this rift between you two, do you? The thing is Sam, it is the manner in which the betrayal took place. Dean? He would give anything to keep you safe, but you are more Machiavellian in your approach; you steamroll over and hurt what or whoever is in your path to get to your goal. Your heart is in the right place, but you have to let your actions reflect that.”
Sam pursed his lips and blew a puff of air from his nose as he clinched his hands it an attempt not to hit the man standing in front of him. Once he cooled down, he let Cain’s words sink in; Yeah, Dean sold his soul for him, but Dean killed Amy because he knew that Sam couldn’t. Yeah, Dean befriended a vampire, but hadn’t he done worse…with Ruby.
“You’re a good man, Sam Winchester,” Cain told him.
“That should have never been in doubt,” Dean seconded from behind him. “I told you Sam, I’d let this whole world go to hell, burn to the motherfucking ground if it letting it meant saving you. Nothing, no angel, no demon or damsel in distress is more important than you.”
Sam turned and gave Dean a small watery smile, because Dean was a great man, hell everyone said it, some even said he was righteous, and if a great man like Dean said that Sam was a good man, then there must be some truth to those words.
Dean walked closer, wrapped his little brother in a hug, and whispered in his ear, “Let’s kick this in the ass!”
Crowley was with Dean when he took the Mark, so Sam had no idea what was going to happen as he watched Dean walk up to Cain and held his hand out towards the older man, but every nerve in his body was on alert when Cain clasped it to his and what looked like fire went through their forearms. After the red disappeared, Dean fell to the ground limp and Sam raced to him.
“Take care of each other,” Cain advised softly, but Sam did not hear him because he was too focused on Dean.
It barely registered when Cain touched Sam’s shoulder and they were suddenly back in the bunker, and Cain was gone. Once he was aware of his surroundings, Sam picked Dean up bridal style, carried him to his room and placed him on his bed where he was surrounded by the things that he loved.
Sam just lay there and held his brother, and for once, he felt like the caregiver, the protector, the big brother. As he held Dean he also came to the realization that even though he felt like this now, once Dean had his footing, he was going to be the big brother again. If he felt that his little brother was in trouble, then he would do anything to protect him.
Being the little brother, Sam also knew that he was going to try to rebel against Dean treating him like a kid and this would be a struggle for the rest of their lives. Their behavior was hard wired in their hearts and even if they had lived that normal life, Sam had been seeking over the years he knew that they would still behave this way.
Dean, being his older brother needed to protect him and finally Sam understood; this was who they were and he was okay with it because he had nothing to prove.
Recipient: annie46
Rating: PG-13
Word Count: 4,859
Warnings: major character death
Author's Notes: This is kind of a combination of the prompts: How is Sam gong to deal with those black eyes, a fic that deals with Sam's guilt over lying to Dean about not wanting to save him. How does Sam react when his brother is dying in front of his eyes, and the recipient not wanting them to have to work with anyone else to come up with a solution?
Also thanks to my beta for stepping in at the last minute to help.
Summary: Dean is dead and Cas is MIA. Once again all alone in the world, Sam has to rely on what he learned from family and friends to get his brother back.
You would think that Sam would be used to this, seeing Dean die. Once he had watched the man die for a month straight in a Groundhog Day come to life and he had even buried the man once and it hurt every fucking time. This time was no different.
Sam held his brother and watched as, with every drop of blood, his life drained from the gaping would that Metatron put in his heart. Sam knew that even if the hurt was not different, the outcome was. This time there was no God or trench coated angel to patch up the heart that was literally broken, and bring him back to life.
Sam knew that this time he would really have to live without the only person who loved him unconditionally, and he was not sure if he could do that again. He had tried the year Dean was in purgatory, had gotten a job and a girl, Amelia, but he gave her and that life up so easily when Dean reappeared. Perhaps he should have stayed with her. Perhaps he should have stayed in Palo Alto, because either would have been easier than watching Dean die. Again.
He remembered Dean’s final words before he slipped out of Sam’s reach, I’m proud of us. Proud. Dean’s last breath was telling Sam that he was proud of him even though he had fucked up things between them. He had told his brother that they could be partners or brothers, but they could not be both. What kind of fucked up shit was that?
Perhaps a part of him was hoping that Dean would have chosen their fraternal bond over their working one, but he should not have been surprised that Dean chose hunting. It gave him the best of both worlds, his brother and hunting. Besides, he had to know that Sam would eventually come around.
It still hurt that he had denied Dean the one thing that meant the most to him and expected his brother to sever a bond that had been formed when their dad placed baby Sam in his arms and sent him running from a burning house.
This time it was Sam carrying Dean away from a supernatural mess. He carried Dean’s battered and lifeless body from the filthy tent city that Metatron had lured them to and gently placed him in his car. Sam cried at having to place Dean in the trunk until he could get him back home to the bunker. It still felt weird calling the bunker home, but Dean deemed it so and now he was gone.
Once back at the bunker, Sam gently placed his brother on his bed along with the knife that had become a part of him. It was the cause of his death and Sam wanted to destroy it, but it would be like killing Dean again.
Sam’s not sure how long he stood there at the door of Dean’s room, crying and just staring at his brother. He looked as though he was asleep and any minute he would wake up and snap at Sam for being a creeper. The longer he stood there, Sam took notice of the little touches that Dean had placed around the room.
While Sam, who had always said he wanted normal, had left his room just as sterile as he’d found it Dean’s was quite the opposite. There were photos placed around the room of his mom, dad, and them as small children. He recognized some of them as the ones that Jenny had found in the basement of their old home in Lawrence.
There were posters of some of Dean’s favorite bands also adorning the walls. He probably would have out grown this had he been able to do this as a teenager, but now given the chance, Dean had decorated his room the way he’d envisioned as they grew up on the road in impersonal motel rooms.
Once the tears were cried out, Sam made his way to their war room to do some research. When Dean sold his soul to bring Sam back to life, Sam remembered searching the ends of the earth to bring his brother back, but this time he didn’t have to. He had all the answers he needed right here, he just had to find them.
He remembered when Larry Ganem placed the key to this place in his hands he felt as though he had been given the answer to the meaning of life, and perhaps it was time to think like that again. There had to be a spell or some kind of hoodoo to bring Dean back.
Sam searched the books for hours and found nothing. Well it might as well have been nothing because everything that he found lent itself to having Dean come back as a monster of some sort. As much as he wanted his brother back, there was no way he was going to make him something that would have to be hunted.
The last book that he thought might give him something turned out to be necromancy and just…no. After finding no solution in the books, he replaced them in the stacks and then in the time honored Winchester tradition, Sam went to the bar and poured himself a stiff drink. He was going to finish the drink before building a pyre for his brother when it hit him.
Crowley.
He was the reason that Dean was dead. Taking him to see Cain and watching while his brother took on the goddamned Mark that was never meant for him. Crowley did it to save his ass and cost him his brother; the least he could do was bring him back. Thanks to Dean killing Crowley’s rival Abaddon, the bastard was once again the King of Hell, so it was in his realm of power, and besides, he owed Dean that much.
Tossing back the rest of his drink, Sam gathered what he needed for the summoning ritual and began to call the demon forth. For some reason, he didn’t come immediately, causing Sam to curse and question the demon’s paternity.
“Hold your horses, Moose,” came the sarcastic reply from the middle of the devil’s trap that Sam had drawn to summon the demon.
“I want him back, Crowley,” Sam growled, ignoring the demons’ insult. “You’re the reason he’s dead; you have the power to do it, so you -you bring him back!”
“Really?” Crowley asked sounding amused at Sam’s accusation. “Why would I do that? I mean, you think that I should bring him back and just turn him over to you so you can plot to kill me as you have been itching to do. I don’t think so Moose.”
Sam walked over to the table he’d set up before summoning Crowley and picked up a syringe from among the items distributed there. He sauntered back, stood in front of his captive, and let him watch as he drew blood from his vein. Sam had forgotten how painful this was, but all things good in his life were born from pain.
Holding it up so Crowley could see, Sam said “I have something you need and you can give me what I need, so how ‘bout we trade. The sooner you give in the sooner you’re outta here.”
“I’m good, Sam,” the bastard smirked.
“For now,” Sam agreed. “But we both know that soon you’re gonna be jonesing like some crack head willing to sell his soul for another hit.”
“Hey, don’t knock crack heads; that was some of my finest work. Kept the souls coming in.”
“Bring him back, Crowley.” Sam demanded again.
“Why, Sam? Why should I bring him back? If you remember, I was a part of you and I know what you were thinking. What is going on in that head of yours? Ruby, Amelia, Amy and all of the other ways you’ve hurt Dean made you realize that no matter what you did, Dean’s sacrifice was always better. You didn’t want to die; you just didn’t want to be bested by your big brother again.”
Sam wanted nothing more than to use the demon knife on Crowley to shut him up, but that would impede his goal of getting his brother back.
“Come on Sam, admit it, you finally realized that Dean’s sacrifice was more God friendly. That your brother gave God the blood sacrifice that he wanted and you came along with your gluten free offerings and they weren’t enough. Dean was always the prize Sam. He even took the ultimate sacrifice, the Mark of Cain…”
“Shut up Crowley,” Sam warned. “The only thing I want from you is my brother.”
“Ohhhhh Sammy, it’s good to know that you cared enough to try this time,” a familiar voice snarked from behind him.
“Dean?” Sam whispered too scared to turn around.
“In the flesh,” Dean replied.
“Nice of you to finally join us, Dean,” Crowley greeted impatiently, “now how’s about being daddy’s good little demon and get me out of this thing.”
Ignoring Crowley, Sam turned and rushed towards his brother and embraced him in a bear hug. “We both have done things to hurt the other and I don’t know why, I expect you to be perfect when I’m not.” Sam confessed through his tears. “This time there’s no Amelia, or Benny, just you and me.”
When he let go, he pulled his face from Dean’s neck, wiped his tears and smiled but quickly let go and stumbled backwards once he saw Dean’s eyes. They were black, not green.
“Exorcizamus te, omnis immundus spiritus, omnis satanica potestas, omnis incursio infernalis adversarii, omnis legio, et secta diabolica…” Sam began as he realized that Crowley had let a demon possess his brother’s body.
“Not that that will do any good, but you should know that that’s Dean, not stunt demon number two, so if it were to work, you’d be exorcising Dean.” Crowley informed Sam as Dean walked past him and broke the demon trap and set their nemesis free.
“Ergo Draco maledicte et sectio,” Sam continued praying that Crowley was wrong, that Dean was no longer inhabiting his body, but then he remembered. Cain was a demon and as long as he bore that Mark, no harm could come to him. Before he could say anything,Crowley snapped his fingers, he and Dean were gone.
“Fucking devil!” Sam yelled as he threw the syringe towards the empty space.
Okay, okay, Sam thought, Dean was alive, but Dean was now a demon,he’s got an entire fucking library of books and spells at his disposal and he’s so emotional that he can’t concentrate on where he should start. God he missed Bobby and the kick in the ass the man would give him for acting like a girl.
You would think that with everything that he and Dean had experienced, that he wouldn’t get overwhelmed, but each time he witnesses Dean’s death: like a punch, and this: well, this has just gutted him. It took him a minute, and a half a bottle of Jack, but Sam got his mind and emotions in check in order to think about where he should start and then he saw it: the syringe. The last trial. He’d done it before, well almost done it. Cured a demon that is. Why not again. Dean had not been one for long and still had to retain his humanity, so perhaps it would be easier than when he’d been working on Crowley.
Even though he didn’t get to complete the transformation, Crowley was not the same evil monster that he’d been before. Sam still didn’t trust him, but he was a little bit more human now.
His new problem was that he didn’t know where Dean was, or where Crowley had taken him. He could trap the older demon in another devils trap, but then he’d just have Dean to set him free. Oh, god, he was going to have to trap Dean in one as well. Everyone he trusted was gone, leaving no one to turn to for help, so how the hell was he going to get them both there at the same time.
The ritual to call a demon was simple as long as you had the right ingredients, but the problem was that he needed to call them both at the same time and that’s what he needed to figure out. He gathered the items needed for the ritual and drew another devils trap in a different room because he didn’t want the two men to communicate with one another. As he was gathering the items for the ritual, Sam came across some old recording equipment and that was when the idea came to him. Record one and do the other live, and that way he didn’t have to worry about Dean being under Crowley’s influence and freeing him again.
As he repaired and repainted the destroyed trap Dean had released Crowley from earlier, he began to entertain the idea of drawing Dean’s in the space he had claimed when they found the bunker. In the room where Dean had found the bit of normalcy, that Sam had been seeking his entire life. Perhaps if the things that mean so much to him surround him, it would be easier to cure him, to bring Dean back.
Taking his phone from his pocket, Sam recorded the spell, went to Dean’s room, and looked around. It would be easy to bless it, but it was easier to go to the small chapel the Men Of Letters had in place so he walked down the hall to begin.
Sam walked into the confessional and thought that it felt like Deja vu all over again. He shook his head and mumbled, “oh, God, I’m channeling Dean.”
This time the confession was different. He confessed the jealously he felt when his much adored brother spent time with others. He begged forgiveness for the judgment of Dean’s actions that was designed to keep him safe, but most importantly, he begged forgiveness for driving a wedge between them and allowing the enemy in. This time he wanted to be the brother that Dean deserved, because it was a proven fact that they had more power to destroy each other quicker than anything supernatural did.
After he confessed his sins, Sam pressed play and waited for Dean to appear.
“I guess that I should be glad that you cared enough that I got live and not Memorex,” Dean quipped when he appeared in the trap.
“Bollocks!” Sam heard Crowley scream through the air vent. He ignored it because the only reason for the demons presence was so that he wouldn’t interfere with Dean.
As Sam looked at the items on the table, he thought about how ridiculously good it felt to hear Dean call him Sammy. He cannot remember the last time he’d heard his brother call him that, but it felt wrong hearing it coming from that black-eyed thing in front of him.
Sam looked at his brother, or rather the facsimile thereof, and was upset when he saw the black eyes. “Dean, may I see your eyes…please?”
“These are my eyes, Sammy,” Dean replied in a tone that Sam knew well. It was the one he used when he was hiding something. Usually Sam could look into green eyes and get a read on his brother, but the black eyes took away his ability to do so.
Hoping that, if like Crowley said, that, this was still HIS Dean, the brother would give him anything, Sam stepped in front of the chair and asked softly, “Dean, please let me see your eyes.”
Like a switch that had been flipped, Dean’s eyes went from solid black to the green that Sam remembered. He smiled when Dean couldn’t fight his instincts and gave in at his soft pleading, but the smile faded when he noted that Dean’s eyes were red and swollen and Sam knew immediately that that condition had nothing to do with black eyes.
Had Dean been…crying?
It tore Sam apart to think that his big,strong,keep everything locked inside, no chick flick moments brother had been crying.
“What happened, Dean?” Sam asked with a touch of hesitation in his voice because he wasn’t sure if Dean would answer.
Sam could sense a hesitation in his brother before the older man replied, “When I wore Death’s ring, it was different, you know. It was hard taking the life of another, but it was natural selection, and besides,it was what I needed to do to get you back. What the King of Hell had me do was not that. It was collecting the soul of someone who was desperate enough to bargain for the life of their loved one, it was a wife wanting to give her husband a child and as much as I hated it, Crowley fucking loved it. The only similarity was that I had no control over either situation.”
“Dean, I promise, I’m trying.” Sam implored. “I’ve searched every inch of this place and the only thing I could come up with was the demon cure.”
“I’m sure you have, Sam, but remember I can’t die. The hole that Metatron put in my chest, it’s gone, healed. I’m pretty sure that means that this cure won’t work because being a demon makes it possible for me to handle the Mark, but I’ve got nothing but time so we’ll give it the old college try.”
“If it doesn’t work Dean, then I’ll keep him in that trap until I find a solution. You gotta trust me Dean, we’ll find something.”
“How, Sam?” Dean asked. “I know that you’ve probably wished for Bobby a million times, but we have no one to help us. Our friends are dead, and I’m not sure where Cas is. That means that you have to keep me here too, because the demon in me wants to protect him and that instinct is getting stronger by the minute.”
Sam was sure that there were several times in the past that Dean has wanted to give up, but he didn’t vocalize it, but then Sam’s safety was usually involved. Now that it was just his safety on the line, Dean was giving up, but Sam was not going to let him.
“Let’s get started, shall we,” Sam said as he plunged the needle into Dean’s neck.
Eight hours later, Sam was tired and Dean was irritated. To show him that the blood did not work, Dean presented his little brother with midnight black eyes, and this time Sam wanted to cry. Without saying another word, he left the chapel and went back to the war room to start over.
Feeling like a failure, Sam sat buried in books trying to find a way to cure Dean, to get his brother back. He would have to approach this the same way they did when they were trying to stop the duel at Stull Cemetery in their home town of Lawrence Kansas.
As they sought to find a way to end the apocalypse, Bobby pulled several resolutions, well most of what they needed from the book of Revelations in the Bible. Revelations would not help them now, becaue that book was about the end of the world. Could it be that simple? Was what he was looking for in Genesis, the beginning of the Bible?
Of course, the Men of Letters would not have a simple King James Version; they had one to rival the Codex Sinaiticus. The only reason Sam knew it wasn’t that old was the fact that it was written in English and not Greek.
He carefully read the book of Genesis until he found the verses concerning Cain and his brother Abel and really took notice when he read chapter 4: 1-8. Except for the part about him killing his older brother, this really could have been the Winchester verse.
He learned that Cain was a homebody and loved to return there and was just as upset at the thought of leaving there as he was about displeasing God. After he read that passage, Sam thought about his and Dean’s travels and where they had been and realized that all roads lead back to Kansas, to home. Perhaps Cain felt the same.
Slowly, he walked back to the chapel to face Dean. He had an idea, and it was the only one he could think of, but he didn’t want to fail his brother again.
“Dean, how hard was it to take the Mark of Cain?” Sam asked once he entered the room.
“Wasn’t hard, kind of like a hand shake,” Dean shrugged.
“So, it wouldn’t be that hard to give it back to him then?”
“It’s nothing I could force on him, Sam. He’d have to want it back.” Dean corrected the assumption. “But first we need to find him.”
“I can do a location spell for that;do you think you can get us there once we’ve found him?”
“Yeah, I can do that Sam.”
The Tigress and Euphrates rivers, by both religious and scientific accounts, all life started here. Per the scientists, this was the cradle of life and by the religious scholars; this was the Garden of Eden, and Cain’s birthplace. It was his home until he committed the first murder and became the Father of Death. He held that title for thousands of years until Dean took the title and the burden.
Just as Sam thought, Cain had made his way home, or as close as he could get in modern times. He stood over a small rise looking down at the rivers. Sam knew that the man had to hear when he and Dean arrived but he did not acknowledge their presence.
“You would not believe how beautiful this place was when I was a child,” Cain finally broke the silence as he waved his hands towards the rivers. “Everything was new and wonderful and we really didn’t have a care in the world. By the time I was born we could not enter the actual garden, but even the fringes of paradise were beautiful. I even named a couple of animals, but they’re extinct now.”
“The walk down memory lane is all well and good, but you know why we’re here,” Dean interrupted as he held up the knife. “I needed the Mark and this to kill that red headed bitch, but she’s dead and for a minute I was too. Too bad I wasn’t told that I would need to become a demon to handle the power of the Mark.”
“Crowley knew,” Cain, advised him.
“Like he was gonna share that bit of info with us,” Sam said. “You could have told him.”
“Crowley’s my boss, kinda of hard to cross someone when you can’t get fired, but you can be punished.”
Sam pursed his lips together to keep from replying, but then thought better of it. There was no reason to pussyfoot around Cain, because there was nothing he could do to them. Dean held all of the power, so he pulled a pouch from his pocket and said, “The wonderful thing about being a Man of Letters is that there is an unending amount of knowledge available to Dean and me. If you fight us on this, well I came prepared for that as well.”
As he spoke, Sam noticed that Dean seemed antsy and walked away from him and Cain. Sam hadn’t told Dean about his plan “B”, but he shouldn’t be surprised. He wasn’t sure what was going on but he was sure that it had something to do with the Mark so he would try to hurry it along.
“I come here every century or so,” Cain, said absently as they watched Dean walk away. “This is the spot where I can still feel my brother’s presence, the place where I took his life. When I had the Mark, I could still smell his blood in the ground and feel his energy. As I don’t have the Mark, the sense is just a memory, but Dean is feeling it and that’s why he is a little agitated right now. There is no need for drastic measures Sam, the Mark is my punishment, meant for me to bear so I’ll take it back.”
Sam relaxed a little at the other man’s words. He had not lied though; he was prepared to incapacitate the older man so that Dean could transfer the Mark back.
“Let’s get started then.”
“So eager aren’t you. This is your big chance to do something for your brother hmmm, a way to show him that you won’t kill him again.”
“Wait…what?” Sam sputtered, “I have never killed my brother.”
“Maybe not in deed, but words wound and some of them can be fatal. Each time you ran away or rejected him, you might as well have put a bullet through his heart because to him the result was the same.”
“What you know about us would fit on the head of a pin,” Sam stated in a voice so cold it would have a lesser man walking away. He was angry. Why did everyone think that all that was wrong between him and Dean was his fault? “Quit stalling and do what you promised, and then you can go back to reliving killing your brother.”
“You still don’t get it Sam, do you? You think, that people don’t know that Dean has done his fair share to cause this rift between you two, do you? The thing is Sam, it is the manner in which the betrayal took place. Dean? He would give anything to keep you safe, but you are more Machiavellian in your approach; you steamroll over and hurt what or whoever is in your path to get to your goal. Your heart is in the right place, but you have to let your actions reflect that.”
Sam pursed his lips and blew a puff of air from his nose as he clinched his hands it an attempt not to hit the man standing in front of him. Once he cooled down, he let Cain’s words sink in; Yeah, Dean sold his soul for him, but Dean killed Amy because he knew that Sam couldn’t. Yeah, Dean befriended a vampire, but hadn’t he done worse…with Ruby.
“You’re a good man, Sam Winchester,” Cain told him.
“That should have never been in doubt,” Dean seconded from behind him. “I told you Sam, I’d let this whole world go to hell, burn to the motherfucking ground if it letting it meant saving you. Nothing, no angel, no demon or damsel in distress is more important than you.”
Sam turned and gave Dean a small watery smile, because Dean was a great man, hell everyone said it, some even said he was righteous, and if a great man like Dean said that Sam was a good man, then there must be some truth to those words.
Dean walked closer, wrapped his little brother in a hug, and whispered in his ear, “Let’s kick this in the ass!”
Crowley was with Dean when he took the Mark, so Sam had no idea what was going to happen as he watched Dean walk up to Cain and held his hand out towards the older man, but every nerve in his body was on alert when Cain clasped it to his and what looked like fire went through their forearms. After the red disappeared, Dean fell to the ground limp and Sam raced to him.
“Take care of each other,” Cain advised softly, but Sam did not hear him because he was too focused on Dean.
It barely registered when Cain touched Sam’s shoulder and they were suddenly back in the bunker, and Cain was gone. Once he was aware of his surroundings, Sam picked Dean up bridal style, carried him to his room and placed him on his bed where he was surrounded by the things that he loved.
Sam just lay there and held his brother, and for once, he felt like the caregiver, the protector, the big brother. As he held Dean he also came to the realization that even though he felt like this now, once Dean had his footing, he was going to be the big brother again. If he felt that his little brother was in trouble, then he would do anything to protect him.
Being the little brother, Sam also knew that he was going to try to rebel against Dean treating him like a kid and this would be a struggle for the rest of their lives. Their behavior was hard wired in their hearts and even if they had lived that normal life, Sam had been seeking over the years he knew that they would still behave this way.
Dean, being his older brother needed to protect him and finally Sam understood; this was who they were and he was okay with it because he had nothing to prove.