This morning my mom went into my bedroom to check on Sateycat and noticed he didn't have any food. She figured I'd forgotten to feed him last night so she put a cup of food in his bowl. Then she let Satey into the garage room. When she came home for lunch, she caught Fidget walking down the hall away from my room and his face was soaked like he'd ( Read more... )

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A boyfriend who works at 7-11.
I got to make out in 7-11 with a clerk.
Wow.
My life is now complete.

I have a boyfriend.

I could be in Vegas by Tuesday night. I got a call less than an hour ago from Rob offering me a bus ticket ( Read more... )

I spent 20 minutes today examining a pair of jeans for a stain I swear was there Saturday. It looked like catsup. I mean, I even saw the weave of the fabric through the stain so it's not like it could have been something that could have fell off my pants or anything.

But of course, it's gone now...WTF?

So yeah, the funeral went ok. Well you know as good as a funeral can go. They had a big TV set up and at the beginning of the services they did a slide show of a whole shitload of pictures of Tom and the family (I was even in one, I looked good; orange but good). So many people showed up that we were lucky to be family or else we'd have been ( Read more... )

today i get to go to my first funeral in 20 2/3 years
it's the end of my funeral boycott or something

wish me luck

The site that taught me to pee standing up now directs you to the Travelmate, a "non-invasive urinary device [that] enables females to pee through the fly of their clothes while standing, or by attaching our medical-grade thermoplastic elastomer tubing and collection bag, answer the call of nature while seated in a car, boat, or small aircraft."

I guess I know my shit when it comes to drinking.

Bacardi 151
Congratulations! You're 141 proof, with specific scores in beer (160) , wine (83), and liquor (104). All right. No more messing around. Your knowledge of alcohol is so high ( Read more... )