[ INCOMPLETE ]

[flameoflorelei]

Who: Asch and Guy
What: The Church holds on tightly to its own
Where: the bar
When: Several days after this log, where Guy gets killed
Rating: PG 13?
Open: No.

Comments

[flameoflorelei]

Asch turned toward him. He was ever-skeptical, since the curse slot had allowed Guy through before.

Nothing had prepared him for seeing Guy so distraught. Before, Guy had been struggling for control. Now, he was shaking ever so slightly, and he looked absolutely distraught. It was something terrible to see.

He continued to watch the blond closely, waiting for some kind of betrayal. Asch couldn't find it in his heart not to be concerned for Guy, however. Guy was still his closest friend and (former?) lover. If he could have left Guy alone, he would have done so already. "Are you in pain?" It was all he could think of to say.

[jewelofgardios]

Finally he mustered the courage to lift his head and face Asch, even if Asch himself wouldn't return it. His eyes were damp, pained, and ashamed - for his actions, his thoughts, and yes, that loneliness he couldn't contain.

Why was Asch asking about him? As if it mattered! As if his own welfare meant anything to him, when he had attacked Asch, mistreated him, violated him. Asch had been so forgiving, so trusting, to allow such mistreatment to happen.

He swallowed hard. If nothing else, Asch deserved an answer. With a shaky, half choked voice, he managed to respond, "Only because of what I did to you..."

How could he even begin to think of his own welfare when he'd left Asch alone and wounded not long before?

[flameoflorelei]

Guy looked so ashamed of himself. Had he started crying? Was he truly remorseful for what he had done to Asch?

Asch boggled at this. He was the worthless original, the bottom of the totem pole. He was a forgotten son and a tool. Only with Guy, it seemed, had his usefulness been an afterthought in comparison with himself. Since that first night in this terrible city, Guy had cared for him.

And now he was suffering for him. Asch looked at him with pity, but with understanding. "I got you back, didn't I?" There was no hatred behind Guy's eyes now, and Asch felt relief at that. "Come up here, you idiot," Asch added, patting the space on the bed next to him.

[jewelofgardios]

Guy stiffened, eyes widening as Asch invited him up. What? How could he be so trusting?! All the while he'd kept his distance out of fear and worry, heartsick and indescribably disappointed in his own willpower. He'd screwed up, and Asch had paid for it. It was his turn.

Wasn't he going to be punished?

"I don't deserve to be near you," he whispered hoarsely, averting his eyes uncomfortably. He didn't make any move to rise off the floor, still gripping the sheets, knuckles turning white. "I... even if I'm back, after what I did..."

Was it really that simple? He wanted nothing more than to just give in and seek comfort in Asch's arms, but... was such a thing even possible? He wasn't the one who needed or deserved that comfort...

[flameoflorelei]

Asch reached forward, stroking Guy's hair. It was dirty from not being washed since before Guy had been killed, but Asch didn't care. "If... if it had been instrumental in bringing you back at all, I don't care what you did," Asch replied quietly. "It helped me find you inside of that hatred-driven thing. That's what I wanted."

He hadn't wanted the pain that resulted or Guy's 'death.' However, he had learned from Van the importance of the adage, 'No pain, no gain.' "I lost you before because I couldn't stop what happened to you. I want to stop that from happening again. I want the old us back."