Shige Essay n.53 - Change -
Aoi Hitorigoto #53
-Change-
By Kato Shigeaki
There are people who say with confidence: "I didn't change at all since high school!" but I always think that they really shouldn't say that. "People change", this is what I believe, about me and the others too. Not only on the exterior, the changes include also the interior sides of characters. No matter what, people change. In better or worse.
Talking about myself, my way of thinking and my tastes are completely different from when I was an high schooler. If I can say more, my actual self is different even from that of one year ago. I realized this reading my old essays.
Of course there are things that didn't change but I started to like things that I used to hate and viceversa. Not only that, there are also some fundamental sides of me that changed. Basically I've always hated my previous self. Because it's always different from the actual one. I always dislike myself of the past, even if it passed only little time.
Still being honest, I notice more often the changes on other people than my personal ones. Like the most light-minded guy of high school who became a good accountant at work, the middle school mate with excellent grades who became a so-called NEET. And recently my NEWS companion too.
Lately we started our activities again and after 1 year and 8 months we're in the very middle of meetings for the live performances. Those kind of meetings are pretty nostalgic. Honestly, it passed so many time that I forgot how it is to be on a stage. I forgot the Kato Shigeaki's idol-kit at the Tokyo Seradome. I left it so many time as lost article that it may have been cancelled, what can I do? ...Ok, sorry for the digression. We had a lot of free time but we members didn't have any opportunity to meet, these new meetings are like a fresh start. During them our individual characters come out the most. Very simple, everybody became adult. There are various reasons for it but mostly I felt that we all got rid of our most childish sides. The looks, the actions, the way of talking, a lot of aspects became more adult.
I guess you already know about it, using a scientific approach it seems that characters depends a little by inheritance.
It has been proved that two identical twins grown in completely different places may have many points in common (like the grades at school, job, interest in cars, for example). In other words, there is some sides of our character that is based on our genes and that can't change.
Besides there's another theory, it says that when humans reach the mature age they stop to change. I know that this reversed my first opinion one, two times but it seems that it's possible only to add things on your own character. For example, impatient people will always be more or less impatient for all their lives. According to each behavior, it is possible only to improve your characteristic. So, for example, a hasty person can become a very businesslike, trustful person.
In other words, improving your character means growth. Until the mature age we all have a flower bud inside of us, it may be a sunflower, a rose or a cherry blossom. Our work is searching what kind of flower it is. During the growth we water it and we keep changing to make come out a flower as the one we pictured, to see if it will be a single big flower or many little ones.
Meeting the members after so many time I started to see each one's different bud coming out.
We can change our characters. Maybe it's impossible for a gloomy guy to become bright in one day, but if he learns the right art to express himself one day he will succeed for sure.
We can become who we want to be. It's still too early to give up.
Though, I've already said it before. It happened that I changed opinions from my previous essays...next year, no, next month, maybe I'll be already talking differently...
I'm sorry but maybe when the lives will be over I'll get angry and say: "The members are always, always the same old brats! People really never change!!"
...Sorry for being so irresponsible.