Through the Looking Glass

[sparrow_lately]

Title: Through the Looking Glass
Rating: PG-13
Words: ~5,500
Spoilers: None specific past season five.
Pairings: Dean/Carmen (kind of), Dean/Cas (briefly), Dean/Sam (very briefly)
Warnings: Mental illness, panic, violence, implied child abuse, Hell memories, angry queer feminism, repetitive formatting.
Summary: The multiverse theory states that we

Comments

[sparrow_lately]

I LOVE YOU SO MUCH OMG

I'M REALLY GLAD YOU LIKED IT AND DIDN'T MIND ALL THE PLOTHOLES OR THE TERRIBLE WINCEST

I WILL PROBABLY TALK TO YOU ON THE BUS TOMORROW AND I'M GLAD YOU LIKED YOUR FIC AND YOUR ANGRY QUEER LADY SAM WHO IS TOTALLY NOT SPARROW AT ALL, EXCEPT SHE IS <333

[tabaqui]

Ah, man, so many Dean's and so many lives and worlds and outcomes.
*sniffle*

Sam-angel dead with his wings burned into the ground, that really hit hard, and wee!Dean and the police, and Djinn!Dean having...moments of total disconnect from his reality....

*flails*

I loved them all! Well, not insane Hell!Sam but.... Yeah. :)

[sparrow_lately]

Insane Hell!Sam was sort of a last minute addition but I liked him because I like the idea of Boy King!YED's protegee!Sam being very different than demon blood junkie!Sam. More...unhinged, if he's fallen that far from baby season one Sam. Make sense? Maybe?

I'm so glad you liked it! :D

[tabaqui]

OH, no, i get the who/what/how of him, i just didn't *like* him.
:) I never like a Sam or a Dean that doesn't love the other.

[sparrow_lately]

Well, no, he's not a very likable guy, is he? :P
I don't either, so I tend to shy away from it. Even exasperated, rung-out real world love (not codependent hunter brothers with nobody but each other love) is good for me--in fact, I like it better. BUT I figured that crazy Hell!Sam was probably a fandom standard at some point, even if it's not really my cup of tea (plus I'm a late comer, and I bet seasons 2-5 inspired a lot of that). Plus it was kinda fun?

Rambling! I'm rambling. Ah well. Thanks for the comment, is what I think I meant to type.

[catsintheattic]

This is so awesome. All the many different places where Dean has been in canon, all his different fandom incarnations - all of them out there to chase and confuse him. But he never lost his sense of direction, of home. And home is with Sam. And Cas.

I like it a lot.

[sparrow_lately]

I tried to hit a decent handful of fandom cliches. I'm sure I missed bucketloads, but I got to play in my crazy Dean sandbox, which is always a party for me. :P I'm so glad you enjoyed it!

[chiiyo86]

Poor Dean, what a crazy ride, but it was fun to see all those AUs come together to drive him insane.

[sparrow_lately]

No fun quite like psychological breakdowns! ;) I'm really glad you enjoyed it!

through the looking glass and on beyond zebra

[auroramama]

Yeeow. Lots of pain. And what does it say about angels that Dean kept thinking it was one of Alistair's mind-slicing games, when in fact it was Zachariah? In any decent universe an angel couldn't do this to a righteous man without falling, but of course SPN is not a decent universe.

I loved the transition scenes when Sam or Cas had almost caught up to Dean, and he glimpses home in their eyes or their voices. Heartbreaking in a different way each time.

I think that's really them in the end, really home, because otherwise, where would it stop?

Re: through the looking glass and on beyond zebra

[sparrow_lately]

I wanted it to be ambiguous whether Dean's really made it in the end or not, but I'd like to believe that even if he isn't home, the Sam and Cas there with him are the "real" Sam and Cas, his/our Sam and Cas. So that's something?

Thank you so much for reading and commenting!