A very unwise post

Nov 30, 2014 13:41


Let's put a trigger warning for rape on this one ( Read more... )

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Comments 25

dragonbat2006 November 30 2014, 16:02:13 UTC
I am so sorry that what's going on now is poking at that pain for you. What happened was not your fault. I'm sure you've been told that before, but maybe it'll help you get through this if you hear it again. It was not your fault, even if it might feel like it was. You are going to get through this. I'll be keeping you in my thoughts.

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sparkindarkness December 4 2014, 00:16:03 UTC
Thank you

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qbeeqt November 30 2014, 18:59:32 UTC
Words fail me. I agree with dragonbat2006... It was not your fault. (I tell myself this regularly too.) You are in my thoughts.

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sparkindarkness December 4 2014, 22:28:03 UTC
Thank you

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tattooofhername November 30 2014, 19:36:52 UTC
I have a very similar experience in my past. The sense of loathing is familiar. I wish I knew of an easy solution to it, but like so many other things there is no easy answer. Hugs if you want them, and open ears if you want to talk about anything.

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sparkindarkness December 4 2014, 22:28:47 UTC
Someone is hoarding all the evil solutions. We should find them and pelt them with angry mustelids until they share..

Thank you

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aviv_b November 30 2014, 19:38:04 UTC
I'm so sorry. It bears repeating, it's not your fault. The whole notion that there is some standard of resistance a victim must meet to be believed is one the most fucked up notions society has about sexual assault.

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sparkindarkness December 4 2014, 22:30:20 UTC
Thank you.

One of the more repellent notions of the "standard of resistance" is not only do we shame people for not doing enough, but I don't think anything short of summoning a small army of demons would constitute sufficient resistance. It's like, failing to actually be murdered is proof of consent

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stress_kitten November 30 2014, 22:11:50 UTC
*hugs* Oh Sparky... no words, except to say what you already know:

He chose to ignore the fact you weren't into it.
He chose to ignore your silence and your immobility.
He was focused on him getting off and ignored your needs.
You may not have said "no" out loud, but your body language did, and that metric DOES count.

At the BARE MINIMUM, it makes him a selfish, inconsiderate, abusive asshole who casually rapes others because he can't be bothered to check in with them and doesn't care about them enjoying themselves.

I'm sorry you're having to deal with all this being brought up and stomping around on your sensitive spots.

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sparkindarkness December 4 2014, 22:31:18 UTC
Thank you

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