New cars

Toyota Corolla
MPG: 27/35
Price: $16,050

Nissan Versa Sedan
MPG: 24/32
Price: $15,695

Mazda3
MPG: 23/30
Price: $17,000

Pontiac G5
MPG: 24/32
$16,000

Chevy Cobalt
MPG: 22/31
Price: 16,395

Suzuki SX4 Sport Sedan
MPG: 23/31
Price: $16,000

Hobo #1: 'Nigger' is the new 'fuck.'
Hobo #2: Say what, nigga?
Hobo #1: I say 'nigger' is the new 'fuck.'
Hobo #2: What you talkin' 'bout, muthafuckah?
Hobo #1: Used to be, you wanna shock people, you say 'fuck.' 'Fuck' don't shock nobody no mo'. E'rybody say 'fuck' now. But you say 'nigger' and motherfuckers be divin' under tables, people lose they ( Read more... )

Man, to copier:
There is paper in there! Stop being stupid! No, I will not add paper to
tray four, I can tell you that right now. I will shoot someone before I
add paper to tray four.

Just knowing you exist somewhere, anywhere in the world, was enough to give my life meaning.

Okay. Those of you who went to school with me... do you remember Gabe Lopez? Well last night I had a dream that I was pregnant with his child. And at first I was thrilled and planning to have it, and I told everybody, but then I changed my mind and decided to have an abortion, but when I got to the abortion clinic I wasn't wearing the right kind of ( Read more... )

I took Christmas, and I WHOOPED ITS ASS. I got all my shopping done for everybody in one day. HUGE shout-out to my amazing Bobsy, who handed me his credit card and said "go buy stuff." How awesome is he? Anyway I got very small, very cheap presents but they are cool, and I AM DONE. The only person I splurged on was my mom. Because, I don't really ( Read more... )

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I just want my throat to stop hurting. I want to cuddle in bed with my bobsy and my toby and make fun of Tin Man on tv. WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH I WANT MY MOMMY. Life sucks. IT SUCKS!!!!

i think that possibly, maybe i'm falling for you ( Read more... )

They are making a movie of "Angus, Thongs and Full-Frontal Snogging."