And It Would Be Enough (Hibiki/Kotone/Silver, five timed flash fics)

[chrysa]

Title: And It Would Be Enough
Rating: G to PG-13
Word Count: 1328 total
Genre: General, Romance, Angst, Suspense
Series: Pokémon
Characters/Pairings: Hibiki/Kotone/Silver - variations on a theme
Warnings: minor swearing
Summary: Five variations on the Johto OT3, for pokeprompts theme: 5x5A/N: Rough and super unedited because it was meant to be a writing

Comments

[keltenaasule]

Overall, I have to say I really, really liked this. #4 and #5 were by far the strongest; #5 was almost certainly the best, because it showed all three together and was written smoothly, emotionally, and just very intensely overall. #4 might have been my favorite, however, simply because Hibiki and Silver's emotions were portrayed so well in that.

#1 and #2, on the other hand, seemed a bit weak to me; #1 was all right, but at least from my opinion of Silver, he seemed less irritable and defensive than I see him being, and Kotone seemed to jump to the conclusion that Silver didn't like her a little too fast when all he demonstrated was surprise. #2 I honestly didn't like much at all; the ending was cute, but it also seemed a bit OOC to me -- Silver just struck me as far too open.

As for #3, I'm going to agree with everyone else: cute with a capital C. ...which I just didn't capitalize. Go me.

Hope that made sense and is helpful; overall, I did like this, and I'd love to see more exploration of their relationship.

[chrysa]

THAT'S BECAUSE I'M A HORRIBLE PERSON WHO ONLY LIKES WRITING ANGST AND SEEING OTHER PEOPLE SUFFER.

*excuses excuses*

Kotone's extreme reaction might've been a result of my own panic because I was writing this in Notepad and accidentally deleted a chunk of it. I wrote all of these in under 10 minutes instead of 15 since wanderlark and I were discussing lowering the time limit, and I was at 7 minutes and suddenly missing a part of my story so I was like HOW DO I FINISH FFF.

Your assessment of #2 is really interesting though. I didn't think it showed that much of Silver's personality. I actually don't think that much about Silver's characterization at all so I just modeled him after the traditional tsundere... Actually, I was probably writing Nowaki/Hiroki from Junjou Romantica if I were honest because the dynamic is pretty similar to that.

[kouse]

The content of your stories are all quite touching and cute.
I especially liked the last two. They seem to be well interpreted.
The only thing I think you could watch out for is grammar and several syntax and sentence structure.

Otherwise, all in all, it's a sweet batch 8D

[chrysa]

I have zero ability to proofread my own works so I usually don't. And then I go and reread them months later and want to cut myself. /sob.

Thank you~~

[kouse]

They are not frequent, so I believe it's okay and very much passable.
I'm not the best in grammar either, so don't make yourself sound so bad ;-;

[kaorikuni]

#3 and #4 are my favs. they broke my heart.
the only one i know is 'you know my name'. it's a nice song.
i like #1 kotone a lot too.

[chrysa]

Straight-forward!Kotone is the best. I see her as someone who would take action and her life into her hands. *_*

I have a very eclectic playlist, haha. A lot of the songs picked were ones I listen to less often, actually, so I was surprised.

Thanks for reading!