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[sophrosyne31]

I've been reading Iris Murdoch novels lately. She's just amazing. I read a few when I was a young bint, but don't remember much about them. Reading 'The Flight from the Enchanter' was a revelation. She's so muscular in her intelligence, she casts such a strange spell with her characters and scenarios. A hugely wise mind at work, sometimes warm,

Comments

[qthelights]

Yup.. it sounds like you and me have the same view of men.. you want your equal, and it to be a little bit thrilling and to be a bit of equal and yet elusive..

.... the idea of of plain and kind makes me think "i want more than that for my life", how awful to be trapped by that... but of course, at the same time, we want that devotion and kindness in these thrilling men... and they try, bless them, but it's not always in their nature, and ends in pain pain pain.

[sophrosyne31]

Is there no middle ground? I'm sure there is, but I think sometimes those few gems, who are dashing AND devoted, are all taken and I'm left with this choice between an accountant and an Everest explorer. Not that anyone's making me any offers anyway, so 'choice' is a moot term at this point. *sighs*

Let's not even get into the thing about how I consistently, if subconsciously, choose elusive, emotionally unavailable men... I didn't use to, I swear! But the last few have a been a bunch of doozies, all right.

More and more I get sentimental and self-pitying and just wish someone adored me. But nothing is so simple. And to be honest, these days I flinch from the idea of involvement at all, it's all too hard and too painful. I am becoming a bitter old sook. I hope this is not the case for you, beautiful girl.

[qthelights]

I'm not bitter yet love, but I also know i'm still in the subconsciously choosing the emotionally unavailable men and living with the pain that follows stage..

... so it's more masochistic than bitter. i suspect your way is better for oneself.

[ancalime71]

There's a lot I want to say to this, truly. I dont have the time though. I will collect my thoughts and reply later. Promise.

[sophrosyne31]

It's a topic I've discussed a lot with girlfriends, all right. There's no end to the stuff one might say about this subject, it appears.

[reynard_pyjama]

I think "muscular intelligence" just became another one of those phrases that gets stuck in my head and sets up shop there. Wonderful!

Honestly, there really must be something in the water supply. I too feel as though everything is shifting - the things I think about myself, the kind of people I'm attracted to, even the texture of the air seemes somehow altered. Yet I can't pin any of it down. It's odd, alright.

[sophrosyne31]

La Murdoch was a wonderful writer. Odd, but wonderful. Her books are like spells. Funny that she was so eminent in her time and now hardly anyone reads her. Funny not very ha-ha. A shame. I'm also reading John Fowles; another one who's gone out of style a bit.

Do you think something is going on? I do. I feel entirely disoriented and pervaded by this sense of clarity which is also distorting, as if I'm seeing my life in a new light, and wanting to change things, as if I'm just waking up, slightly fuzzy and apprehensive, but something's changing. I'm glad it's not just me.

[reynard_pyjama]

I don't think I've read any Iris Murdoch. Or maybe I have a long time ago and I've forgotten. I shall check her out next time I'm at the library.

Well I am definitely experiencing the tectonic plates of my life shifting and beginning to re-organise themselves across multiple dimensions. I had thought it was just me, but the more I look around the more it seems my friends are going through outwardly subtle but quite significant changes.
I've been experiencing an acute clarity mixed with a disorientated, reality-shift floatiness. It's really quite odd.
Maybe its age-related. Or the planetary alignments.

[lobelia321]

I've always been suspicious, and I admit, a bit disdainful, of the men who've adored me -- I feel they're diminished by being so foolish as to adore me. Give me a man who is difficult to pin down,
You are a Mills and Boon heroine. Or Scarlett O'Hara. :-)

I am out of the loop on this one. I have been hitched since puberty. This caused me to feel bad for 13 years, left out, inexperienced, having missed out. Now I quite like it.

[sophrosyne31]

Ah, but t'h is one of those good men, who's also smart and formidable (I assume) and a match for you, not a doormat. The more I talk to married people, the more I understand that there are all sorts of pros/cons about it. Lovely things, frustrating things. I am thinking of retreating to live on top of a column like St Simon Stylites and never thinking about romance again one way or another.

[sparktastic]

♥