Short Message Service Vol. VI - aka Drunk Dialing
Notes: This was so hard. I’m sure my beta 
frayedshoelace agrees with me, don’t you? Actually you need a promotion, I think the correct term this time is “co-author”. It wouldn’t be as readable, understandable or funny if it wasn’t for her. So be grateful to her, I am. More notes in the end. The other parts can be found here.
Apologies to Crown Prince Naruhito, Prince Carl Philip, Prime Minister Fredrik Reinfeldt, Finance Minister Anders Borg, Håkan Juholt, Nobel laureates Dan Shechtman, Saul Perlmutter, Brian P. Schmidt and Adam G. Riess and Miljöpartiet.
Summary: In June 2011 Anthea is in Japan for business and in December 2011 Sherlock is in Sweden for pleasure.
-x-
Gess were
I am!
Certainly not in
English class.
SH
Funny. Guess!
Youll necer
guess!
Why should
I guess, then?
SH
Because thats
how guessing
works!
Guessing is
for weak
minds. Not to
mention that
I know where
you are.
SH
Orly?
Who are
you and what
have you
done to
Madeleine?
SH
Hi-mi-tsu!
Are you
enjoying
yourself?
SH
YES!
Good.
SH
Come on!
Guess!
Only because
John is boring.
Japan.
SH
More speific.
Sigh. Crown
Prince Naruhito’s
bed?
SH
Ha! That woulkd
lead to war.
Guess again
Didn’t stop
you in Sweden.
SH
Pic or it didnt
happen
I am the world’s
only consulting
detective. And by
the way, I still
haven’t forgiven
you for not
getting me
tickets.
SH
If you guess
better Ill get
you tickets
this year ;)
A winking face?
Really?
SH
Might be abit
tipsy
Understatement,
but go on.
SH
Cutieness is
contagoius. I’ve
never been
this pink in my
lif
Pink?
SH
Yu know,
lite red.
I know
what pink is.
SH
Girly, princess
color And its
all over me .
japanese woman
have an
superpwer
They turns
everthing cute!
Please mind
your language.
SH
Hushg!
No, honestly,
that text hurt
my eyes. How
drunk are you?
SH
Two pitcher
off Gand T. I
love this
cuntry.
I thought
you were on
a business trip.
SH
We are!
Is Mycroft
also indisposed?
SH
I hope so! Hes
in a diferent
room with the
men
How medieval.
SH
Not sexist.
Heiarcahl.
I think the
word you’re
looking for is
“hierarchal”.
SH
Mayhaps
Cute. Now
stop, I prefer
you when sober.
SH
I’m gay .
Really? Beats
being married
to Mycroft.
SH
I like beeing
maried to
mycroft
It’s the
alcohol talking.
SH
ポーニョ
ポーニョ
ポニョ
さかなの子
How’s the
Japanese going?
SH
Bettre then
ever!
How’s the
English coming
along, then?
SH
Hush
I imagine
you're at a
karaoke place.
SH
Havent I said
that already?
No. Now
get me tickets
to the Nobel
banquet.
SH
Ill see what I
cando.
You promised.
SH
I feel sic.
Gin and tonic
can do that.
SH
-x-
Get Madeleine
back to the
hotel.
SH
Who?
MH
Stop it. She’s
not feeling well.
SH
How do
you know that?
MH
Not important.
Take care of her.
SH
I’ll see to it.
MH
Get me
tickets to the
Nobel banquet.
SH
Good night,
Sherlock.
MH
It’s just 14:23
here in the Queen’s
backyard.
SH
I do hope
you're not
really anywhere
near the Queen.
MH
One never
knows. And do step
away from the
umeshu.
SH
-x-
Excited?
If I admit
that, it has to
stay between
us.
SH
Everyone
already knows.
In that case,
yes, I’m excited.
I don’t really
believe it yet.
SH
You do know
that it’s the
most boring
party ever?
They can’t
all be gin and tonic
pitcher parties….
SH
Oh ha ha.
Don’t forget
to put your
phone on silent.
Who do you
take me for?
SH
You shouldn’t
bring your
phone at all,
you know.
Says the
woman who’s
glued to hers.
SH
Not the same
thing. Tell me
if you get
bored and
want to play
Scrabble.
Miss me?
SH
I don’t see
how you
being in Sweden
affects our
communication
at all.
It’s more
expensive this
way.
SH
Neither of us
pays our phone
bill ourselves.
Touché.
Now stop
texting me.
It’s time to
get seated.
SH
Have a
wonderful
evening.
Thank you,
I will.
SH
-x-
The prince
is good-looking.
I can see why you
went there.
SH
Excuse me?
Pretty sure
he would match
all the pink from
Yokohama.
SH
Kawasaki,
but what?
The pink,drunk
version of
you would
look nice next
to the prince.
SH
I take it dinner
is over?
Yes. I’m
getting
Shechtman’s
autograph.
SH
Who’s the cute
one now?
I don’t know
what you’re
talking about.
SH
You’re like the
captain of
Team
Edward at
a Twilight
convention.
You know I
don't care
about sports.
SH
Not even you
could miss that
reference.
I wish I could.
SH
Don’t stalk the
poor man.
He signed ‘The
microstructure
of rapidly
solidified Al6Mn’
for me!
SH
You mean
the article
you printed
in the hotel
lobby?
How else
would I get a
copy of a
27-year-old
article for
him to sign?
SH
Did you
take a picture
of the two
of you with
your phone
as well?
No.
SH
Ha! You did
too!
We talked
about the
interface
between
crystals and
liquids, and the
grooves that
aid nucleation.
SH
You lost me,
but I’m happy
you’re happy.
I’m not happy.
I am on fire!
SH
Scary.
No.
SH
Have some
champagne
and dance.
I find
these people
fascinating.
SH
Keep your
deductions
to yourself.
The Prime
Minister is
clearly suffering
from feelings of
inferiority
because
the Finance
Minister can
grow a ponytail
and he can’t.
SH
Play nice.
I’m not the
one manipulating
the system to
get more
housing benefits.
SH
Whatever you
do, don’t start
a discussion
about
government
benefits.
He should
have bought
Swiss chocolate
instead.
SH
Your brother
says, and I
quote: “Remind
him I can’t
get him out
of prison in
Sweden.”
Tell him
to stick
something
somewhere.
SH
No. Just stay
out of trouble.
My theory
that the Physics
laureates were
overcompensating
for something
seems to be
incorrect.
SH
What?
Please. Three
men getting
awarded for
studying expansion?
Don’t tell me
the thought didn’t
cross your mind.
SH
It didn’t.
I don’t believe
you, but I was
incorrect. At least
two of them
are very well
endowed.
SH
I don’t want
to know how
you found that
out.
Choosing a
weed as the
symbol of your
political party
feels like a
strange
statement.
SH
How much
champagne
have you had?
There’s a duck
in the corner.
SH
What ELSE
have you had?
Sherlock?
-x-
Dr Watson, why
isn't Mr Holmes
answering?
Let’s just say he’s
lost his phone
privileges. Who’s
this?
The other Mr
Holmes’ assistant.
Tell Mycroft I’m
taking Sherlock
back to the hotel
now.
He's not the
one asking.
Is he all right?
Yes. Don’t worry,
everything is fine.
Thank you. I hope
you had a pleasant
evening.
Yes, thank you. It
was extraordinary. A
once-in-a-lifetime
thing. At least I
hope so.
That can be
arranged.
-x-
Vol. VII - Christmas Special (December 2010)
-x-
And for this not to be a huge inside joke I have with myself, some notes and explanations (and pictures!):
Anthea's Japanese comes from this song. Yes, she did sing it.
The Swedish Prince Carl Philip dressed for the Nobel Awards Ceremony
Dan Shechtman won the Nobel Prize in Chemistry this year for the discovery of quasicrystals. In 1984, he wrote the article The microstructure of rapidly solidified Al6Mn that Sherlock wanted him to sign. It describes the discovery for which he was rewarded the Medal.
The Prime Minister (left, bald) and Finance Minister (right, with the ponytail) of Sweden
To make a long story short about the housing benefits and the chocolate: the leader of the Swedish Social Democratic Workers’ Party didn’t fill out his forms correctly and received far more benefits than he should have. Although this was one of the larger political scandals in the Social Democrats’ history, he hasn't yet stepped down. His predecessor will forever be remembered for buying Toblerone with taxpayer money even before she became the party leader.
This year, the Nobel Prize in Physics was given to Perlmutter, Schmidt and Riess for the discovery of the accelerating expansion of the universe through observations of distant supernovae. I know nothing about the size of their “equipment”.
The symbol of the Swedish party Miljöpariet de Gröna (the Green Party, literally The Environmental Party the Greens) is a dandelion. I am aware of the double meaning of the word weed.
I don’t know if there is a duck in the corner of Gyllene salen, where the party continues after the banquet.
frayedshoelace agrees with me, don’t you? Actually you need a promotion, I think the correct term this time is “co-author”. It wouldn’t be as readable, understandable or funny if it wasn’t for her. So be grateful to her, I am. More notes in the end. The other parts can be found here.
Apologies to Crown Prince Naruhito, Prince Carl Philip, Prime Minister Fredrik Reinfeldt, Finance Minister Anders Borg, Håkan Juholt, Nobel laureates Dan Shechtman, Saul Perlmutter, Brian P. Schmidt and Adam G. Riess and Miljöpartiet.
Summary: In June 2011 Anthea is in Japan for business and in December 2011 Sherlock is in Sweden for pleasure.
-x-
Gess were
I am!
Certainly not in
English class.
SH
Funny. Guess!
Youll necer
guess!
Why should
I guess, then?
SH
Because thats
how guessing
works!
Guessing is
for weak
minds. Not to
mention that
I know where
you are.
SH
Orly?
Who are
you and what
have you
done to
Madeleine?
SH
Hi-mi-tsu!
Are you
enjoying
yourself?
SH
YES!
Good.
SH
Come on!
Guess!
Only because
John is boring.
Japan.
SH
More speific.
Sigh. Crown
Prince Naruhito’s
bed?
SH
Ha! That woulkd
lead to war.
Guess again
Didn’t stop
you in Sweden.
SH
Pic or it didnt
happen
I am the world’s
only consulting
detective. And by
the way, I still
haven’t forgiven
you for not
getting me
tickets.
SH
If you guess
better Ill get
you tickets
this year ;)
A winking face?
Really?
SH
Might be abit
tipsy
Understatement,
but go on.
SH
Cutieness is
contagoius. I’ve
never been
this pink in my
lif
Pink?
SH
Yu know,
lite red.
I know
what pink is.
SH
Girly, princess
color And its
all over me .
japanese woman
have an
superpwer
They turns
everthing cute!
Please mind
your language.
SH
Hushg!
No, honestly,
that text hurt
my eyes. How
drunk are you?
SH
Two pitcher
off Gand T. I
love this
cuntry.
I thought
you were on
a business trip.
SH
We are!
Is Mycroft
also indisposed?
SH
I hope so! Hes
in a diferent
room with the
men
How medieval.
SH
Not sexist.
Heiarcahl.
I think the
word you’re
looking for is
“hierarchal”.
SH
Mayhaps
Cute. Now
stop, I prefer
you when sober.
SH
I’m gay .
Really? Beats
being married
to Mycroft.
SH
I like beeing
maried to
mycroft
It’s the
alcohol talking.
SH
ポーニョ
ポーニョ
ポニョ
さかなの子
How’s the
Japanese going?
SH
Bettre then
ever!
How’s the
English coming
along, then?
SH
Hush
I imagine
you're at a
karaoke place.
SH
Havent I said
that already?
No. Now
get me tickets
to the Nobel
banquet.
SH
Ill see what I
cando.
You promised.
SH
I feel sic.
Gin and tonic
can do that.
SH
-x-
Get Madeleine
back to the
hotel.
SH
Who?
MH
Stop it. She’s
not feeling well.
SH
How do
you know that?
MH
Not important.
Take care of her.
SH
I’ll see to it.
MH
Get me
tickets to the
Nobel banquet.
SH
Good night,
Sherlock.
MH
It’s just 14:23
here in the Queen’s
backyard.
SH
I do hope
you're not
really anywhere
near the Queen.
MH
One never
knows. And do step
away from the
umeshu.
SH
-x-
Excited?
If I admit
that, it has to
stay between
us.
SH
Everyone
already knows.
In that case,
yes, I’m excited.
I don’t really
believe it yet.
SH
You do know
that it’s the
most boring
party ever?
They can’t
all be gin and tonic
pitcher parties….
SH
Oh ha ha.
Don’t forget
to put your
phone on silent.
Who do you
take me for?
SH
You shouldn’t
bring your
phone at all,
you know.
Says the
woman who’s
glued to hers.
SH
Not the same
thing. Tell me
if you get
bored and
want to play
Scrabble.
Miss me?
SH
I don’t see
how you
being in Sweden
affects our
communication
at all.
It’s more
expensive this
way.
SH
Neither of us
pays our phone
bill ourselves.
Touché.
Now stop
texting me.
It’s time to
get seated.
SH
Have a
wonderful
evening.
Thank you,
I will.
SH
-x-
The prince
is good-looking.
I can see why you
went there.
SH
Excuse me?
Pretty sure
he would match
all the pink from
Yokohama.
SH
Kawasaki,
but what?
The pink,drunk
version of
you would
look nice next
to the prince.
SH
I take it dinner
is over?
Yes. I’m
getting
Shechtman’s
autograph.
SH
Who’s the cute
one now?
I don’t know
what you’re
talking about.
SH
You’re like the
captain of
Team
Edward at
a Twilight
convention.
You know I
don't care
about sports.
SH
Not even you
could miss that
reference.
I wish I could.
SH
Don’t stalk the
poor man.
He signed ‘The
microstructure
of rapidly
solidified Al6Mn’
for me!
SH
You mean
the article
you printed
in the hotel
lobby?
How else
would I get a
copy of a
27-year-old
article for
him to sign?
SH
Did you
take a picture
of the two
of you with
your phone
as well?
No.
SH
Ha! You did
too!
We talked
about the
interface
between
crystals and
liquids, and the
grooves that
aid nucleation.
SH
You lost me,
but I’m happy
you’re happy.
I’m not happy.
I am on fire!
SH
Scary.
No.
SH
Have some
champagne
and dance.
I find
these people
fascinating.
SH
Keep your
deductions
to yourself.
The Prime
Minister is
clearly suffering
from feelings of
inferiority
because
the Finance
Minister can
grow a ponytail
and he can’t.
SH
Play nice.
I’m not the
one manipulating
the system to
get more
housing benefits.
SH
Whatever you
do, don’t start
a discussion
about
government
benefits.
He should
have bought
Swiss chocolate
instead.
SH
Your brother
says, and I
quote: “Remind
him I can’t
get him out
of prison in
Sweden.”
Tell him
to stick
something
somewhere.
SH
No. Just stay
out of trouble.
My theory
that the Physics
laureates were
overcompensating
for something
seems to be
incorrect.
SH
What?
Please. Three
men getting
awarded for
studying expansion?
Don’t tell me
the thought didn’t
cross your mind.
SH
It didn’t.
I don’t believe
you, but I was
incorrect. At least
two of them
are very well
endowed.
SH
I don’t want
to know how
you found that
out.
Choosing a
weed as the
symbol of your
political party
feels like a
strange
statement.
SH
How much
champagne
have you had?
There’s a duck
in the corner.
SH
What ELSE
have you had?
Sherlock?
-x-
Dr Watson, why
isn't Mr Holmes
answering?
Let’s just say he’s
lost his phone
privileges. Who’s
this?
The other Mr
Holmes’ assistant.
Tell Mycroft I’m
taking Sherlock
back to the hotel
now.
He's not the
one asking.
Is he all right?
Yes. Don’t worry,
everything is fine.
Thank you. I hope
you had a pleasant
evening.
Yes, thank you. It
was extraordinary. A
once-in-a-lifetime
thing. At least I
hope so.
That can be
arranged.
-x-
Vol. VII - Christmas Special (December 2010)
-x-
And for this not to be a huge inside joke I have with myself, some notes and explanations (and pictures!):
Anthea's Japanese comes from this song. Yes, she did sing it.
The Swedish Prince Carl Philip dressed for the Nobel Awards Ceremony
Dan Shechtman won the Nobel Prize in Chemistry this year for the discovery of quasicrystals. In 1984, he wrote the article The microstructure of rapidly solidified Al6Mn that Sherlock wanted him to sign. It describes the discovery for which he was rewarded the Medal.
The Prime Minister (left, bald) and Finance Minister (right, with the ponytail) of Sweden
To make a long story short about the housing benefits and the chocolate: the leader of the Swedish Social Democratic Workers’ Party didn’t fill out his forms correctly and received far more benefits than he should have. Although this was one of the larger political scandals in the Social Democrats’ history, he hasn't yet stepped down. His predecessor will forever be remembered for buying Toblerone with taxpayer money even before she became the party leader.
This year, the Nobel Prize in Physics was given to Perlmutter, Schmidt and Riess for the discovery of the accelerating expansion of the universe through observations of distant supernovae. I know nothing about the size of their “equipment”.
The symbol of the Swedish party Miljöpariet de Gröna (the Green Party, literally The Environmental Party the Greens) is a dandelion. I am aware of the double meaning of the word weed.
I don’t know if there is a duck in the corner of Gyllene salen, where the party continues after the banquet.
