Tales from the Pensieve: Chapter 16: To Report
Title: Tales from the Pensieve
Summary: It’s 1979: Remus Lupin’s trying to find somewhere to live. Sirius Black is taking far too many risks. Peter doesn’t feel he’s taking enough responsibility whilst James and Lily struggling to keep a handle on things.
Characters/Pairings: James/Lily, Remus/Dorcas, Peter/Marlene, Sirius/Marlene, Albus Dumbledore, Frank/Alice, Ted/Andromeda, Nymphadora Tonks and many other members of the Order of the Phoenix.
Notes on this Chapter: The marauders worry about Remus, as they've not heard from him in four months...
AN: It took a month, but I finally got the newest chapter up for Tales! :D Yay.
***
Chapter 1 - To Share
Chapter 2 - To Fight
Chapter 3 - To Dance
Chapter 4 - To Learn
Chapter 5 - To Smile
Chapter 6 - To Fear
Chapter 7 - To Cry
Chapter 8 - To Break
Chapter 9 - To Lie
Chapter 10 - To Hope
Chapter 11 - To Live
Chapter 12 - To Comfort
Chapter 13 - To Hunt
Chapter 14 - To Request
Chapter 15 - To Survive
***
Chapter 16 - To Report
Out fell a small, square mirror. It looked old; it was certainly dirty. Harry held it up to his face and saw his own reflection looking back at him.
He turned the mirror over. There on the reverse side was a scribbled note from Sirius.
This is a two-way mirror. I’ve got the other. If you need to speak to me, just say my name into it; you’ll appear in my mirror and I’ll be able to talk in yours. James and I used to use them when we were in separate detentions
- Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix
***
“No that’s mine, give it back!”
“But I just want to look!”
It wasn’t uncommon for these two particular children to fight over property. One looked like a master carver carved him out of stone - all of his muscles seemed to stand out in a silhouette, he had large mess of thick hair and hairy toes. The other was smaller, thinner, looking a little bit like an upside down broomstick, all length no bulk with hair that vaulted upwards and stayed their as though permanently petrified.
They were arguing over a suitcase they’d found, a bit battered but good all the same. They lived in a squatter’s house, and they’d only just moved in to this particular property so they were looking over the left items. Their suitcase had been hiding under the bed as though hoping not to be noticed.
The stone like child had seen the other with the item and having always gained the upper hand had snatched the handle from the other who was clawing back at him to retrieve it.
Until an adult turned up. He too looked like he belonged in this world, bearded and tired -looking his face seemingly stern.
“Boys, what are you doing?”
“I found it, it’s mine!” Said the broom shaped child, looking devastated as the other boy grasped it tightly. “Please Moony, please tell him it’s mine!”
Moony moved his eyes towards the stone shaped boy, “Silas…could you pass me the suitcase?”
Silas shook his head, clasping to it. “I’m bigger and better, so it’s mine.”
“And who taught you that.”
“Raf did.”
“Of course he did…” Moony murmured under his breath and he got down so he was level with them, onto the floor, propped on one knee.
“We need to share, boys…we’re a pack aren’t we? I just…want to look inside the suitcase.”
Silas looked at his friend, then back to Moony before he growled and tossed the whole thing to the floor, and bared his teeth. Moony was learning fast that the boys in the pack were all just upset under all that bravado. They just wanted to play and have friends. It was why they were so hard on each other.
Moony opened the suitcase, and inside there were a couple of books, children’s books. It made sense really, seeing that the room the boys had found themselves in was a child’s bedroom. They couldn’t notice but Remus could make out a few details, the markings on the wall where the child’s height was measured, a gentle pitter-patter of paint on the floor in one area and the tell-tell signs of what was left of a cot. He couldn’t help but wonder what had happened here, for this home to fall apart…
Was it the remnants of a family running away?
The boys snatched at the books before Moony could tell them to stop, but at least they’d picked different ones. He couldn’t help but feel surprise as they opened them the wrong way round, upside down and flicked through with no knowledge of how to hold a book…
It was just another grim reminder, of the challenges that some of these werewolves faced.
“Do you know what they are?” Moony asked, and the broom shaped boy nodded his head.
“They’re books.”
“Can you read, Jon? Or you Silas?”
Jon looked to Silas who also seemed to flush red, Jon shook his head, Silas bared his teeth again
“No I can’t…” Silas said with a pout, annoyed, his face turned away to the grim window.
Moony’s eyes seemed to twinkle and the two boys were confused until he spoke.
“How about I show you, how to read?”
Jon, who blinked multiple times, nodded eagerly before tugging at Silas’s shirt, but he seemed unplussed.
Teaching some werewolves to read, what a mission I have, Remus thought. It wasn’t something the others considered to be an asset. Jon wasn’t as moulded as Silas yet and he was easier to talk to. Silas would want to see eventually what the young boy could do, he’d get jealous…
A tactic, Remus had found worked heavily with Peter when he didn’t want to do something. Let him see just how fun it was before he would finally join in. A tactic that his friends had used on him on many occasion.
Moony picked up one of the children’s books, looking for the right one to start with, wondering if perhaps, some of the others would want to learn to read…
When there was a tapping at the window. An owl, big and brown with sad eyes tapped its beak, a note on its leg.
Remus’s face turned a paler colour than normal, which the boys considered were pretty difficult, and he rushed to the window to let the owl in.
“Hey, bird!” Jon said, “I didn’t know you liked birds, Moony!” he added admiring the Owl that twirled in the room looking for a safe place to land, the note now in Remus’s shaking hands, devouring the notes contents.
The boys noticed their friend, their beta to the pack, the nice one look as though he saw a ghost as he looked towards them.
“What is it?” Silas asked, snatching the letter out of the werewolf’s hands but he couldn’t read, the letters meant nothing to him, and Remus, was suddenly stuffing his hands into his pockets, searchingly.
“Boys, I have to go.”
“Go? Go where?” Jon asked, “What did it say?”
“Don’t worry your heads about it, I just need to go…Raf is downstairs, why don’t you tell him about what you found…and that I’ll be back as soon as I can.”
And before the boys could ask, Remus disappeared with a crack.
***
Albus Dumbledore stood bobbing slightly on his feet as he waited outside Honey dukes for his companion to arrive. He helped himself to his bag of pic n’ mix sweets of sherbet lemons and Honeydukes own cockroach clusters, chewing delightedly as he looked out the people walking about. Despite the war, despite everything, it was always a brave sight to see people carrying about with their normal lives.
There was the sound of a crack, and his ally arrived, as suspected. Dumbledore checked the time on the clock tower across the square.
“I’m sorry to have pulled you away, Remus…” Dumbledore said as he held out his bag of sweets, looking to the young man carefully.
Remus Lupin sucked on his cheek, before coming forward with large steps.
“You told me there’d be no communication unless it was absolutely urgent.”
“And it is, urgent.” Dumbledore said calmly, “urgent that we know that you’re still out there, Remus. You’ve been ignoring patronus’s and not sending letters.”
Remus swallowed tightly, despite the unnecessary meeting, he felt relief flood him in droves. Everyone’s all right, he didn’t call me to give me bad news… he thought.
“The pack can’t read are completely muggle in nature… I’ll look suspicious to them if I start writing letters and using my wand…“
Dumbledore raised an eyebrow. “You are not the only werewolf I’ve ever sent into a pack and they found a way to keep in contact, Remus...”
Remus felt himself tremor and he wasn’t quite sure it was because of the cold. Guilt perhaps, because he hated letting Albus Dumbledore down, and something he did so often.
“Then what do you suggest I use for contact?”
“What about one of the two way mirrors Sirius owns, the ones he used to speak to James in his detentions?” Dumbledore gave a knowing smile in the direction of the Order member before popping another sherbet lemon into his mouth with a twinkling expression in his face.
A laugh erupted from Remus’s chest. How had he not thought of them? They would be perfect for communication…
If Sirius wasn’t using them already. Perhaps he could convince Sirius to show him how to charm something similar…
“Now, whilst you’re back with us, I have an order meeting tomorrow…I’ve booked you a room at the Leaky Cauldron to rest up. We’ll come up together for an explanation for the pack to say why you were gone…It’s about time we heard what the last four months have uncovered.”
And whether Remus liked it or not, it appeared that he had a meeting to prepare for.
***
Despite the fact it was James’s birthday soon, the Potters were not in the mood for celebration. Newly moved into Godrics Hollow, newly secure with new wards that wouldn’t even let in a stray spider James and Lily were in a particularly sad place.
Despite the fact that James’s birthday fell on the 27th March, Remus’s birthday had been and gone on the 10th and they had not been around to celebrate his twenty first birthday.
In fact, Remus hadn’t been around at all in the last four months. He’d missed so much in that time: Christmas and New Year and no one had seen him since he left. Dumbledore had told them what he could, that Remus had gone underground, a term they knew to be spying for the Order and that he was in the North of the country. And yet, the mission was top secret, so not even his father was able to find out where he was.
He’d not owled, no patronus’s. Nothing.
At least Harry and their new home - the town of Godrics Hollow was a welcome distraction. They tried not to discuss their werewolf friend as best they could in an effort to fight the worry but it was easier said than done when Sirius and Peter hadn’t let the whole thing lie. In fact, Peter was starting to bring back the argument, about secrets…
Lily felt a chill as she sat with Harry she knew wasn’t to do with the cold. He was nine months now, nine whole months. He was babbling and playing with bricks and starting to say sounds that sounded like words. He raised his chubby fingers at his mother as they attempted to practice a couple of steps. This was another reason Remus being away was so hard, he’d be so surprised to see the size of Harry when he returned…
If he returned…
Fighting that surge of fear she smiled at her son just as he husband rushed in from the kitchen, his eyes wide.
“Dumbledore’s sent an owl. Remus is back.”
Harry turned at his mother’s knees before trying to step towards his father - faltering and almost crashed down to the floor - but it was Lily who caught him and held him to her like a safety net against the sea.
“You’re sure?” Lily asked, her eyes worried. “You heard from him?”
“I…well Dumbledore has spoken with him. There’s a meeting tomorrow, I think we should go.”
They’d not been to an Order meeting since Harry was born, even before that. They had others come to them to share news, Sirius or Peter or Dumbledore himself to keep them updated.
“But we haven’t-”
“I know, but we’ll take Harry, we’ll do something, anything. I can’t sit here knowing Remus is going to be there knowing that might suddenly dart off again…I need to know if he’s alright.”
Lily finally nodded, Harry had managed to scoot to his father’s foot, holding onto his leg and then James joined them both on the floor. He charmed his bricks to move and Harry reached out to touch them, half crawling, half moving about as much as he could to catch the bricks and the parents laughed together, finally feeling a little bit more relieved.
Remus was back. Remus was home - even if it was only for tomorrow.
***
Despite the fact all of the Order had arrived, the meeting hadn’t started - and Remus hadn’t arrived yet. James and Lily had brought Harry but they had done as much as they could to wear him out so he was snoozing in a cot that was charmed to rock gently behind them - charmed so that he wouldn’t be disturbed in his sleep. Sirius was sitting beside James looking grim and Peter too looked lost in his own thoughts.
Until the door opened and a figure entered the room, causing the whole table to look up in anticipation.
Not that it was Remus, this man had long hair, shaggy looking with a beard. He actually looked like a tramp that’d wondered in accidently, wearing gloves and a large duffle jacket.
But then he came forwards, towards the front of the table to find a seat and Lily’s insides froze.
It was Remus. But he looked so…so…different.
Dumbledore stood, shaking Remus’s hand. “Thank you for coming, Remus. I know you’ve had a long trip.” He turned to the rest of the Order, and if he was surprised at their surprise it didn’t seem obvious.
“Remus is going to brief us on his time away, as best he can. I would ask you to not ask questions until he is ready.”
The table sat still and Remus just nodded, he turned to the table all of whom looking at him in surprise.
“Now that my cover is completely established…” he looked to Dumbledore who nodded, offering his acceptance. “I can tell you in full of the events that have transpired in Carlisle where I have been spying on a pack of werewolves.”
Some of the table shifted, Peter shivered, and Sirius stood a little taller in his seat. Lily’s hand was squeezing James’s.
“Albus has been hearing whispers that Fenrir Greyback, a man of fearsome reputation has been convincing werewolves across the country to join the Dark Lord’s cause, promising them equality.”
A mess of beard hid Remus’s face but Lily was sure she could see something hard in his eyes that caused her to also shiver.
Remus continued to speak, “Werewolves in this country tend to hide with muggle tramps - sleeping rough and squatting. The ministry tend to leave them alone for the most part - They attend soup kitchens and support groups for their addictions to drink for the most part - they are not monstrous in their day-to-day lives like the evidence Fenrir offers the paper. Far from it, we wish to be able to earn and live securely, which is a struggle. It’s full moons that are tricky but the vast woodland of the Lake District mean that for the most part we go undetected and are safe. As the only wizard in the pack, I secretly set up some wards so we are much easily hidden.”
We. Why did he say we? Lily thought worriedly as something unnerving settled in her stomach.
“The pack I joined, has been avoiding Greyback and his own packs movements, hence their station further up in the north of the country, I’ve become a solid member of the pack in the last four months learning what I can to fit in and I am becoming increasingly useful, I’m about to see if they all want to learn how to read….”
Lily had no doubt that Remus was an asset in a werewolf pack… This news made Lily swallow, as she listened. What would they do if they found out he was a spy?
“But Fenrir has got his sights on the pack and hence my lack of communication, it isn’t as clear cut as the rumours seemed to suggest. They aren’t being convinced; they’re being forced into joining. Fenrir want’s the ultimate army and he can’t do that without every werewolf in the country on his side. He’s giving death threats to the pack leaders and threatening the children...”
Remus took a breath that he was clearly holding, “So far, that is all I have picked up, it is more about…establishing friendships and protecting this pack and gaining their trust, which I think with most I have. This is the long game, and Fenrir is on the hunt for the pack as we speak…so I am afraid I can’t be here very long. Does…anyone have any questions?”
The room was so silent that you couldn’t even hear the sound of breathing, as Lily was sure that everyone had not known what to say to this revelation.
Remus was alive, Remus was whole and that was what was important.
“I have a question.” Lily finally asked and everyone looked round at her, watching closely.
“Of course…Lily, what is the question?”
It was like they were back at school and Remus was asking Lily a question about a test, and she smiled at him from her seat, the lines playing around the corners of her green eyes as they creased.
“Is it against the rules to give my friend a hug?”
Remus chuckled a little with a nod, and the tension in the room fizzled out as Lily rushed out of her chair and hugged him tightly. He smelt like he had been out by a bonfire for too long, and some other smells she couldn’t place but knew weren’t particularly appealing - but she didn’t care. She was happy he was home, for a moment at least and in that moment everyone started to speak as though it was an ordinary meeting again.
There were serious questions of course, about what Fenrir intended to do with his army - and they were Voldermort’s to command, but Remus couldn’t answer those questions as well as he would like. He was able to talk about the pack, about the way they lived, about how they had survived. Those questions, despite being hard to hear that muggles, witches and wizards lived that way he could answer in full.
As the meeting finished, Remus was finally introduced to a nine month Harry who was as usual, a fascination to Remus.
“He’s huge!” Remus awed, smiling at the baby but Harry didn’t much like the look of Remus, the beard doing it probably, and the fact that it seemed very likely that now he was getting to the age where only those that were regular visitors to his life were considered friends.
Lily held onto the little one, who was groggy and awake. “He’s sleepy Rem, I’m sure he’d like you more without the beard.”
Remus smiled but he could still see that Sirius was looking at him worriedly. He sensed a conversation he was dreading and so he avoided his gaze. Instead, James was eager to hear more about being a spy, like they were children again.
“It’s not…like doing anything that different…just not telling whole truths…” Remus said, looking a little awkward at the question.
Despite the fact he was sure his friends were angry with him not keeping contact, it appeared James and Lily were adamant not to waste time.
“Anyway,” James told Remus, ruffling the man’s prematurely greying hair. “We’re going to have all of you round for Harry’s birthday, alright?”
“Oh?” Remus asked, “all of us?”
“Well, just us, like the old days, plus Lils and Harry…make a night of it, you know? Just in case you have any crazy ideas about rushing off. Besides, you’ve not seen Godrics Hollow yet have you? It’s a beautiful place, I’m sure your Dad would like it…”
Remus smiled softly, swallowing as he watched them all, even Peter seemed more in-depth with the conversation now, asking about what he should bring with him.
He finally pulled himself away from the conversation to speak to Sirius who was still frowning. His hair had grown out, which was a warning sign and Remus itched as his beard, which he was still getting used too.
“You look weird with a beard Moony” Sirius finally said his arms crossed as he leant against the wall.
“Well, helps with my cover…” Remus admitted, “You been alright?”
Sirius run a hand over his chin, looking contemplative. Something played in his face that Remus couldn’t, wouldn’t understand because he wasn’t Sirius Black.
“I didn’t get into the auror program.”
Oh.
Remus’s eyebrows raised concerned. “Padfoot I’m sorry…why-“
“I didn’t pass the character tests. Apparently I’m too unpredictable, spontaneous…not a good quality for an auror apparently…”
Remus tilted his head, but didn’t answer. Unfortunately, that was just Sirius for you: head strong, furiously loyal and fierce in his decisions. Remus put a hand through his hair.
“I’m sorry Sirius-”
But despite Remus beginning his sentence, already, Sirius was on the warpath with his response.
“Your dad’s been asking after you, and everyone here, and I had no answers, not even a bloody owl? Or a patronus, Remus?” Sirius snapped finally.
“I said before I left-“
“Four months ago, Remus. We were almost sure you were dead. Caradoc was declared dead in less time than that!”
The men stopped trying to cut each other off, because the mention of Caradoc’s name had caused enough head’s to turn and the pair looked bashful and when the crowd had stopped looking Sirius refused to meet Remus’s face before walking out into the hall and Remus with a frustrated sigh followed.
And I thought I was good at sulking...what did I do? Is this really just about not being in contact?
“I really am sorry,” Remus said, again and Sirius stopped sharply to look at his friend.
“Are you? Or are you just sorry Dumbledore forced you to come back?” Sirius asked, his eyes fierce.
“He didn’t-”
“He certainly did,” Sirius said with a heated tone. “We discussed it at the last meeting…and I think that hanging out with werewolves and teaching them to read is not going to help us win a war.”
“Oh, and sitting around this table and walking around London waiting for a fight to come to me is any better?”
“Well at least I’m with my family here, with my friends, the ones who really care about you.”
“What’s that supposed to mean?”
“I think you know exactly what it means!” Sirius snapped, “If they find out you’re a wizard that your life is better than there’s, that you’re a spy, do you think they’ll accept you in their little pack any longer? Do you think they’ll be supportive of you?”
“That’s different, I’m passing you their secrets-” Remus said carefully, but he could see where this was going and he didn’t like it one bit.
“And we kept yours, didn’t we? Still do? We were twelve years old when we found out what you were and we didn’t turn you away, and all of a sudden your kind show up I’m in a pack now and they need me. What about us? What about me and James and Peter? All the work we put in to be with you when you transformed? So we could be together?”
“It’s different!”
“No, it’s not.” Sirius said angrily, “We are your family, and we deserved to know if you were alright, so next time you leave, next time you have a free minute with your pack, it’d be nice to know that you’re not dead. Alright?”
And with that, Sirius stormed back into the meeting room, leaving Remus squeezing his fists at his sides, staring at his mud covered boots.
***
Summary: It’s 1979: Remus Lupin’s trying to find somewhere to live. Sirius Black is taking far too many risks. Peter doesn’t feel he’s taking enough responsibility whilst James and Lily struggling to keep a handle on things.
Characters/Pairings: James/Lily, Remus/Dorcas, Peter/Marlene, Sirius/Marlene, Albus Dumbledore, Frank/Alice, Ted/Andromeda, Nymphadora Tonks and many other members of the Order of the Phoenix.
Notes on this Chapter: The marauders worry about Remus, as they've not heard from him in four months...
AN: It took a month, but I finally got the newest chapter up for Tales! :D Yay.
***
Chapter 1 - To Share
Chapter 2 - To Fight
Chapter 3 - To Dance
Chapter 4 - To Learn
Chapter 5 - To Smile
Chapter 6 - To Fear
Chapter 7 - To Cry
Chapter 8 - To Break
Chapter 9 - To Lie
Chapter 10 - To Hope
Chapter 11 - To Live
Chapter 12 - To Comfort
Chapter 13 - To Hunt
Chapter 14 - To Request
Chapter 15 - To Survive
***
Chapter 16 - To Report
Out fell a small, square mirror. It looked old; it was certainly dirty. Harry held it up to his face and saw his own reflection looking back at him.
He turned the mirror over. There on the reverse side was a scribbled note from Sirius.
This is a two-way mirror. I’ve got the other. If you need to speak to me, just say my name into it; you’ll appear in my mirror and I’ll be able to talk in yours. James and I used to use them when we were in separate detentions
- Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix
***
“No that’s mine, give it back!”
“But I just want to look!”
It wasn’t uncommon for these two particular children to fight over property. One looked like a master carver carved him out of stone - all of his muscles seemed to stand out in a silhouette, he had large mess of thick hair and hairy toes. The other was smaller, thinner, looking a little bit like an upside down broomstick, all length no bulk with hair that vaulted upwards and stayed their as though permanently petrified.
They were arguing over a suitcase they’d found, a bit battered but good all the same. They lived in a squatter’s house, and they’d only just moved in to this particular property so they were looking over the left items. Their suitcase had been hiding under the bed as though hoping not to be noticed.
The stone like child had seen the other with the item and having always gained the upper hand had snatched the handle from the other who was clawing back at him to retrieve it.
Until an adult turned up. He too looked like he belonged in this world, bearded and tired -looking his face seemingly stern.
“Boys, what are you doing?”
“I found it, it’s mine!” Said the broom shaped child, looking devastated as the other boy grasped it tightly. “Please Moony, please tell him it’s mine!”
Moony moved his eyes towards the stone shaped boy, “Silas…could you pass me the suitcase?”
Silas shook his head, clasping to it. “I’m bigger and better, so it’s mine.”
“And who taught you that.”
“Raf did.”
“Of course he did…” Moony murmured under his breath and he got down so he was level with them, onto the floor, propped on one knee.
“We need to share, boys…we’re a pack aren’t we? I just…want to look inside the suitcase.”
Silas looked at his friend, then back to Moony before he growled and tossed the whole thing to the floor, and bared his teeth. Moony was learning fast that the boys in the pack were all just upset under all that bravado. They just wanted to play and have friends. It was why they were so hard on each other.
Moony opened the suitcase, and inside there were a couple of books, children’s books. It made sense really, seeing that the room the boys had found themselves in was a child’s bedroom. They couldn’t notice but Remus could make out a few details, the markings on the wall where the child’s height was measured, a gentle pitter-patter of paint on the floor in one area and the tell-tell signs of what was left of a cot. He couldn’t help but wonder what had happened here, for this home to fall apart…
Was it the remnants of a family running away?
The boys snatched at the books before Moony could tell them to stop, but at least they’d picked different ones. He couldn’t help but feel surprise as they opened them the wrong way round, upside down and flicked through with no knowledge of how to hold a book…
It was just another grim reminder, of the challenges that some of these werewolves faced.
“Do you know what they are?” Moony asked, and the broom shaped boy nodded his head.
“They’re books.”
“Can you read, Jon? Or you Silas?”
Jon looked to Silas who also seemed to flush red, Jon shook his head, Silas bared his teeth again
“No I can’t…” Silas said with a pout, annoyed, his face turned away to the grim window.
Moony’s eyes seemed to twinkle and the two boys were confused until he spoke.
“How about I show you, how to read?”
Jon, who blinked multiple times, nodded eagerly before tugging at Silas’s shirt, but he seemed unplussed.
Teaching some werewolves to read, what a mission I have, Remus thought. It wasn’t something the others considered to be an asset. Jon wasn’t as moulded as Silas yet and he was easier to talk to. Silas would want to see eventually what the young boy could do, he’d get jealous…
A tactic, Remus had found worked heavily with Peter when he didn’t want to do something. Let him see just how fun it was before he would finally join in. A tactic that his friends had used on him on many occasion.
Moony picked up one of the children’s books, looking for the right one to start with, wondering if perhaps, some of the others would want to learn to read…
When there was a tapping at the window. An owl, big and brown with sad eyes tapped its beak, a note on its leg.
Remus’s face turned a paler colour than normal, which the boys considered were pretty difficult, and he rushed to the window to let the owl in.
“Hey, bird!” Jon said, “I didn’t know you liked birds, Moony!” he added admiring the Owl that twirled in the room looking for a safe place to land, the note now in Remus’s shaking hands, devouring the notes contents.
The boys noticed their friend, their beta to the pack, the nice one look as though he saw a ghost as he looked towards them.
“What is it?” Silas asked, snatching the letter out of the werewolf’s hands but he couldn’t read, the letters meant nothing to him, and Remus, was suddenly stuffing his hands into his pockets, searchingly.
“Boys, I have to go.”
“Go? Go where?” Jon asked, “What did it say?”
“Don’t worry your heads about it, I just need to go…Raf is downstairs, why don’t you tell him about what you found…and that I’ll be back as soon as I can.”
And before the boys could ask, Remus disappeared with a crack.
***
Albus Dumbledore stood bobbing slightly on his feet as he waited outside Honey dukes for his companion to arrive. He helped himself to his bag of pic n’ mix sweets of sherbet lemons and Honeydukes own cockroach clusters, chewing delightedly as he looked out the people walking about. Despite the war, despite everything, it was always a brave sight to see people carrying about with their normal lives.
There was the sound of a crack, and his ally arrived, as suspected. Dumbledore checked the time on the clock tower across the square.
“I’m sorry to have pulled you away, Remus…” Dumbledore said as he held out his bag of sweets, looking to the young man carefully.
Remus Lupin sucked on his cheek, before coming forward with large steps.
“You told me there’d be no communication unless it was absolutely urgent.”
“And it is, urgent.” Dumbledore said calmly, “urgent that we know that you’re still out there, Remus. You’ve been ignoring patronus’s and not sending letters.”
Remus swallowed tightly, despite the unnecessary meeting, he felt relief flood him in droves. Everyone’s all right, he didn’t call me to give me bad news… he thought.
“The pack can’t read are completely muggle in nature… I’ll look suspicious to them if I start writing letters and using my wand…“
Dumbledore raised an eyebrow. “You are not the only werewolf I’ve ever sent into a pack and they found a way to keep in contact, Remus...”
Remus felt himself tremor and he wasn’t quite sure it was because of the cold. Guilt perhaps, because he hated letting Albus Dumbledore down, and something he did so often.
“Then what do you suggest I use for contact?”
“What about one of the two way mirrors Sirius owns, the ones he used to speak to James in his detentions?” Dumbledore gave a knowing smile in the direction of the Order member before popping another sherbet lemon into his mouth with a twinkling expression in his face.
A laugh erupted from Remus’s chest. How had he not thought of them? They would be perfect for communication…
If Sirius wasn’t using them already. Perhaps he could convince Sirius to show him how to charm something similar…
“Now, whilst you’re back with us, I have an order meeting tomorrow…I’ve booked you a room at the Leaky Cauldron to rest up. We’ll come up together for an explanation for the pack to say why you were gone…It’s about time we heard what the last four months have uncovered.”
And whether Remus liked it or not, it appeared that he had a meeting to prepare for.
***
Despite the fact it was James’s birthday soon, the Potters were not in the mood for celebration. Newly moved into Godrics Hollow, newly secure with new wards that wouldn’t even let in a stray spider James and Lily were in a particularly sad place.
Despite the fact that James’s birthday fell on the 27th March, Remus’s birthday had been and gone on the 10th and they had not been around to celebrate his twenty first birthday.
In fact, Remus hadn’t been around at all in the last four months. He’d missed so much in that time: Christmas and New Year and no one had seen him since he left. Dumbledore had told them what he could, that Remus had gone underground, a term they knew to be spying for the Order and that he was in the North of the country. And yet, the mission was top secret, so not even his father was able to find out where he was.
He’d not owled, no patronus’s. Nothing.
At least Harry and their new home - the town of Godrics Hollow was a welcome distraction. They tried not to discuss their werewolf friend as best they could in an effort to fight the worry but it was easier said than done when Sirius and Peter hadn’t let the whole thing lie. In fact, Peter was starting to bring back the argument, about secrets…
Lily felt a chill as she sat with Harry she knew wasn’t to do with the cold. He was nine months now, nine whole months. He was babbling and playing with bricks and starting to say sounds that sounded like words. He raised his chubby fingers at his mother as they attempted to practice a couple of steps. This was another reason Remus being away was so hard, he’d be so surprised to see the size of Harry when he returned…
If he returned…
Fighting that surge of fear she smiled at her son just as he husband rushed in from the kitchen, his eyes wide.
“Dumbledore’s sent an owl. Remus is back.”
Harry turned at his mother’s knees before trying to step towards his father - faltering and almost crashed down to the floor - but it was Lily who caught him and held him to her like a safety net against the sea.
“You’re sure?” Lily asked, her eyes worried. “You heard from him?”
“I…well Dumbledore has spoken with him. There’s a meeting tomorrow, I think we should go.”
They’d not been to an Order meeting since Harry was born, even before that. They had others come to them to share news, Sirius or Peter or Dumbledore himself to keep them updated.
“But we haven’t-”
“I know, but we’ll take Harry, we’ll do something, anything. I can’t sit here knowing Remus is going to be there knowing that might suddenly dart off again…I need to know if he’s alright.”
Lily finally nodded, Harry had managed to scoot to his father’s foot, holding onto his leg and then James joined them both on the floor. He charmed his bricks to move and Harry reached out to touch them, half crawling, half moving about as much as he could to catch the bricks and the parents laughed together, finally feeling a little bit more relieved.
Remus was back. Remus was home - even if it was only for tomorrow.
***
Despite the fact all of the Order had arrived, the meeting hadn’t started - and Remus hadn’t arrived yet. James and Lily had brought Harry but they had done as much as they could to wear him out so he was snoozing in a cot that was charmed to rock gently behind them - charmed so that he wouldn’t be disturbed in his sleep. Sirius was sitting beside James looking grim and Peter too looked lost in his own thoughts.
Until the door opened and a figure entered the room, causing the whole table to look up in anticipation.
Not that it was Remus, this man had long hair, shaggy looking with a beard. He actually looked like a tramp that’d wondered in accidently, wearing gloves and a large duffle jacket.
But then he came forwards, towards the front of the table to find a seat and Lily’s insides froze.
It was Remus. But he looked so…so…different.
Dumbledore stood, shaking Remus’s hand. “Thank you for coming, Remus. I know you’ve had a long trip.” He turned to the rest of the Order, and if he was surprised at their surprise it didn’t seem obvious.
“Remus is going to brief us on his time away, as best he can. I would ask you to not ask questions until he is ready.”
The table sat still and Remus just nodded, he turned to the table all of whom looking at him in surprise.
“Now that my cover is completely established…” he looked to Dumbledore who nodded, offering his acceptance. “I can tell you in full of the events that have transpired in Carlisle where I have been spying on a pack of werewolves.”
Some of the table shifted, Peter shivered, and Sirius stood a little taller in his seat. Lily’s hand was squeezing James’s.
“Albus has been hearing whispers that Fenrir Greyback, a man of fearsome reputation has been convincing werewolves across the country to join the Dark Lord’s cause, promising them equality.”
A mess of beard hid Remus’s face but Lily was sure she could see something hard in his eyes that caused her to also shiver.
Remus continued to speak, “Werewolves in this country tend to hide with muggle tramps - sleeping rough and squatting. The ministry tend to leave them alone for the most part - They attend soup kitchens and support groups for their addictions to drink for the most part - they are not monstrous in their day-to-day lives like the evidence Fenrir offers the paper. Far from it, we wish to be able to earn and live securely, which is a struggle. It’s full moons that are tricky but the vast woodland of the Lake District mean that for the most part we go undetected and are safe. As the only wizard in the pack, I secretly set up some wards so we are much easily hidden.”
We. Why did he say we? Lily thought worriedly as something unnerving settled in her stomach.
“The pack I joined, has been avoiding Greyback and his own packs movements, hence their station further up in the north of the country, I’ve become a solid member of the pack in the last four months learning what I can to fit in and I am becoming increasingly useful, I’m about to see if they all want to learn how to read….”
Lily had no doubt that Remus was an asset in a werewolf pack… This news made Lily swallow, as she listened. What would they do if they found out he was a spy?
“But Fenrir has got his sights on the pack and hence my lack of communication, it isn’t as clear cut as the rumours seemed to suggest. They aren’t being convinced; they’re being forced into joining. Fenrir want’s the ultimate army and he can’t do that without every werewolf in the country on his side. He’s giving death threats to the pack leaders and threatening the children...”
Remus took a breath that he was clearly holding, “So far, that is all I have picked up, it is more about…establishing friendships and protecting this pack and gaining their trust, which I think with most I have. This is the long game, and Fenrir is on the hunt for the pack as we speak…so I am afraid I can’t be here very long. Does…anyone have any questions?”
The room was so silent that you couldn’t even hear the sound of breathing, as Lily was sure that everyone had not known what to say to this revelation.
Remus was alive, Remus was whole and that was what was important.
“I have a question.” Lily finally asked and everyone looked round at her, watching closely.
“Of course…Lily, what is the question?”
It was like they were back at school and Remus was asking Lily a question about a test, and she smiled at him from her seat, the lines playing around the corners of her green eyes as they creased.
“Is it against the rules to give my friend a hug?”
Remus chuckled a little with a nod, and the tension in the room fizzled out as Lily rushed out of her chair and hugged him tightly. He smelt like he had been out by a bonfire for too long, and some other smells she couldn’t place but knew weren’t particularly appealing - but she didn’t care. She was happy he was home, for a moment at least and in that moment everyone started to speak as though it was an ordinary meeting again.
There were serious questions of course, about what Fenrir intended to do with his army - and they were Voldermort’s to command, but Remus couldn’t answer those questions as well as he would like. He was able to talk about the pack, about the way they lived, about how they had survived. Those questions, despite being hard to hear that muggles, witches and wizards lived that way he could answer in full.
As the meeting finished, Remus was finally introduced to a nine month Harry who was as usual, a fascination to Remus.
“He’s huge!” Remus awed, smiling at the baby but Harry didn’t much like the look of Remus, the beard doing it probably, and the fact that it seemed very likely that now he was getting to the age where only those that were regular visitors to his life were considered friends.
Lily held onto the little one, who was groggy and awake. “He’s sleepy Rem, I’m sure he’d like you more without the beard.”
Remus smiled but he could still see that Sirius was looking at him worriedly. He sensed a conversation he was dreading and so he avoided his gaze. Instead, James was eager to hear more about being a spy, like they were children again.
“It’s not…like doing anything that different…just not telling whole truths…” Remus said, looking a little awkward at the question.
Despite the fact he was sure his friends were angry with him not keeping contact, it appeared James and Lily were adamant not to waste time.
“Anyway,” James told Remus, ruffling the man’s prematurely greying hair. “We’re going to have all of you round for Harry’s birthday, alright?”
“Oh?” Remus asked, “all of us?”
“Well, just us, like the old days, plus Lils and Harry…make a night of it, you know? Just in case you have any crazy ideas about rushing off. Besides, you’ve not seen Godrics Hollow yet have you? It’s a beautiful place, I’m sure your Dad would like it…”
Remus smiled softly, swallowing as he watched them all, even Peter seemed more in-depth with the conversation now, asking about what he should bring with him.
He finally pulled himself away from the conversation to speak to Sirius who was still frowning. His hair had grown out, which was a warning sign and Remus itched as his beard, which he was still getting used too.
“You look weird with a beard Moony” Sirius finally said his arms crossed as he leant against the wall.
“Well, helps with my cover…” Remus admitted, “You been alright?”
Sirius run a hand over his chin, looking contemplative. Something played in his face that Remus couldn’t, wouldn’t understand because he wasn’t Sirius Black.
“I didn’t get into the auror program.”
Oh.
Remus’s eyebrows raised concerned. “Padfoot I’m sorry…why-“
“I didn’t pass the character tests. Apparently I’m too unpredictable, spontaneous…not a good quality for an auror apparently…”
Remus tilted his head, but didn’t answer. Unfortunately, that was just Sirius for you: head strong, furiously loyal and fierce in his decisions. Remus put a hand through his hair.
“I’m sorry Sirius-”
But despite Remus beginning his sentence, already, Sirius was on the warpath with his response.
“Your dad’s been asking after you, and everyone here, and I had no answers, not even a bloody owl? Or a patronus, Remus?” Sirius snapped finally.
“I said before I left-“
“Four months ago, Remus. We were almost sure you were dead. Caradoc was declared dead in less time than that!”
The men stopped trying to cut each other off, because the mention of Caradoc’s name had caused enough head’s to turn and the pair looked bashful and when the crowd had stopped looking Sirius refused to meet Remus’s face before walking out into the hall and Remus with a frustrated sigh followed.
And I thought I was good at sulking...what did I do? Is this really just about not being in contact?
“I really am sorry,” Remus said, again and Sirius stopped sharply to look at his friend.
“Are you? Or are you just sorry Dumbledore forced you to come back?” Sirius asked, his eyes fierce.
“He didn’t-”
“He certainly did,” Sirius said with a heated tone. “We discussed it at the last meeting…and I think that hanging out with werewolves and teaching them to read is not going to help us win a war.”
“Oh, and sitting around this table and walking around London waiting for a fight to come to me is any better?”
“Well at least I’m with my family here, with my friends, the ones who really care about you.”
“What’s that supposed to mean?”
“I think you know exactly what it means!” Sirius snapped, “If they find out you’re a wizard that your life is better than there’s, that you’re a spy, do you think they’ll accept you in their little pack any longer? Do you think they’ll be supportive of you?”
“That’s different, I’m passing you their secrets-” Remus said carefully, but he could see where this was going and he didn’t like it one bit.
“And we kept yours, didn’t we? Still do? We were twelve years old when we found out what you were and we didn’t turn you away, and all of a sudden your kind show up I’m in a pack now and they need me. What about us? What about me and James and Peter? All the work we put in to be with you when you transformed? So we could be together?”
“It’s different!”
“No, it’s not.” Sirius said angrily, “We are your family, and we deserved to know if you were alright, so next time you leave, next time you have a free minute with your pack, it’d be nice to know that you’re not dead. Alright?”
And with that, Sirius stormed back into the meeting room, leaving Remus squeezing his fists at his sides, staring at his mud covered boots.
***