You'd think by now, Vimes would be used to the oddities of Fandom and how they could make a man do unfortunate things. Like flirt and drinkBut no. That would have been too easy for this morning ( Read more... )

There were just things a man had to do when he was saddled with a small baby. One was change diapers.* Another was to read a bed time story to the fellow at the behest of his sergeant ( Read more... )

Sam Vimes was used to many things upon waking up. Invasions of small, harmless creatures... raining of fruit... the occasional shout of 'BUGGRIT!'... but cooing did not fall anywhere near those examples.

Nor did gurgling.

He turned his head from his pillow and toward the noise and saw black. Then opened his eyes and saw...

[[For one!]]

*silence*

--I don't care what you say, I'm not talking into that damned thing! I'll thump you if you come near me again with it--

*BEEP*