119 : navel-gazing spurred by an acute absence

[solerika]

The cycle of an AIM recluse: sign-in invisible until you feel up to socializing → worry about the various ways in which something as simple as instant messaging can go wrong or turn awkward → never bother changing your status → repeat ad infinitum

Comments

[murasaki_seiko]

This is pretty much the story of my AIM life. :|b Until people started realizing I was invisible, at least, and started messaging anyway- then I just never got up to the 'sign-in as invisible' part. Aren't social problems fun? :/

[solerika]

l-lol. I think most of my friends that figured it out got tired of not knowing if I was actually there, so I really only talk to one person anymore. |D And yes, they are. \:P/ It's one of the main reasons I'd like a proper diagnosis; so I can go "Here, this is what I'm unable to articulate as to why I have a hard time being 'normal'."

[murasaki_seiko]

See, I only really talk to about two casmates from one of my games and they will ramble for hours even if I'm not there so they don't seem to care. XD;; But that's why I got plurk instead because it doesn't bother me so much because it doesn't have to be real-time.

And yes, exactly on the diagnosis part. I'd love to get a proper diagnosis instead of 'lol yeah it sounds like some kind of social anxiety or something' but that of course entails talking to a psychologist. And actually telling them things instead of having panic attacks/breaking down/not doing so because I don't feel like I can trust them.

[solerika]

...if anyone did that to me, I would have to block them from SHEER ANNOYANCE. Unless it's about something of interest to both of us. xDDD And maybe it's just me, but I don't see how Plurk is all that different from LJ with the exception of a character limit for posts. I've actually been using Tumblr more than any other communication sites recently. << There's no pressure about friending people or hosting issues if I want to share my art WIPs, quotes, or whatnot. (It's not without its issues, but overall it has been handy.)

Ah, that would be a problem... Do you have any anxiety meds you could take before the appointment, or someone you could see for a while before going delving deeper? I used to have a similar issue. I could never speak the first couple of times I met a new doctor, and dad had to be present for several many sessions after that until I was comfortable enough to talk on my own. Of course, now that it's gotten to the point where I can handle myself okay, I can't find anyone to do a damn diagnosis. B|