i love him so much, sometimes i can't breathe. i'll never be with him. and i know that. but it doesn't stop me from thinking about him every day, so many times. it doesn't stop me from daydreaming about him. even when i'm with someone else. even when i lay in someone else's arms, i'm thinking of him. maybe it's why relationships never work for me. because even though i try to love other people, deep in my heart i still believe he's my true love. and i don't care if holding onto him and our struggling friendship makes me a fool. i love him so much, i can't picture life without him. i want to be with him more than he'll ever know. but really, i'll take anything i can get. i'd rather be his friend, and live with a broken heart, than not be a part of his life. i would do anything for him. i'd give him my kidney if he needed it. i'd jump in front of a car to push him away. you can't even understand how insane, and passionate, and reckless, and utterly drowning my love for him is. seeing him, and talking to him, and thinking about him makes
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my mom yells at me when i cry.
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