lets try something else for a change.
its about time for a switch of

thursday was the first time i was on i-80 but didnt see it.
my eyes were swollen shut from 31 hours without sleep, hundreds of minutes of
being so fucking scared.

still logging those minutes,
and counting every cigarette i throw into the firepit in the backyard
at the lincoln house.

today is already so worthless.
its 3:00 and i havent left my room yet.

filling my lungs with smoke (maybe if i fill myself with it, thats what i will become)

i want to be held but not touched today.

( Read more... )

am i really so awful at finding and maintaining stability,comfort,satisfaction?

(sometimes i make myself sick.
more often than not
these days)

i am fed up with living in cycles.

i dont know where i would be without this place, these people.

i am so mch luckier than i am willing to admit.

[hildebra] and [mcgranee]

cigs, coffee, glossy magazines, and the pinecone diner on exit 201. some things never get old.

other things do...

i want more work to do ( Read more... )

everything was beautiful last night. liz and i walked into a painting and stars exploded and sparkled but when i turned my head the real stars came out and it made so much sense. "We've been walking for so long and I just now stepped into reality". and the moon led, and the stars followed and there was a major scene change ( Read more... )

ahhhhhh.

i think i am becoming an increasingly worthless student.

honestly, i know that i am.
i hate this lack of motivation.