Chapter 10: Torchwood Smashed
Inspired by interactions in the Hotel California Panfandom RPG, this is a joint project between two women who adored the idea of Jack recruiting Buffy to Torchwood. Perhaps they adored it a little too much, but that remains to be seen.
Title: So Buffy Met Jack...
Authors: Amy tainted_crimson & Sarah magicom
Crossover: Buffy the Vampire Slayer / Torchwood
Spoilers: Through Buffy / Angel series finales and Torchwood Series 2 / Doctor Who Series 4. (Some elements borrowed from Season 8 comics)
Rating: FR-15
Disclaimer: Everything is owned by Joss/Fox and Russell/BBC!
Summary: After spending a few weeks trapped in an extratemporal holding cell together, Captain Jack Harkness offered Buffy Summers a job at Torchwood. And how could she ever turn down an offer like that?
Chapters: 01, 02, 03, 04, 05, 06, 07, 08, 09
TORCHWOOD SMASHED
Gwen arrived in the SUV a few minutes later, climbing out and automatically filling Jack in on things. "I've called Andy, let him know we've got things on this end," she told him, eying the body on the ground. "He almost sounded grateful. Maybe we're moving up in the world," she joked in her thick Welsh accent.
Ianto made a sort of scoffing sound at that as he passed, moving to open the back of the SUV for Jack.
Jack nodded at Gwen's report, then hefted the creature up onto his shoulder just long enough to get it into the car. He took the keys from Gwen and climbed into the driver's seat. Ianto let Gwen have shotgun, opening the back door for Buffy before climbing in himself.
Jack started the car, but didn't put it into gear right away. He looked at Ianto in the rearview mirror. "What did happen to your face?" he asked.
"Boyfriend," Ianto replied wearily.
"That usually happens to me," Jack noted, humour lacing his tone.
"As well it should," Ianto retorted.
Buffy snickered from her spot in the backseat, then turned to Ianto. "I've got some stuff that'll help with that back at my apartment," she said, gesturing to the spot on his cheek that was quickly darkening into a colorful bruise. "Works just like magic. The NC kinda has its own pharmacological range of stuff now, all industrial strength for the Slayers."
Ianto looked over at her as the car started moving. "I... thought you all had super healing," he said. It wasn't an accusation, he was just curious. Perhaps he'd misunderstood what Jack had meant.
She gave a one-shouldered shrug. "We do, but it's not all Wolverine-ish and immediate," she explained, and immediately wanted to punch Xander and Andrew for the comic book reference that had slipped in. "Broken bones and bad bruises still hurt and take time, just not as much as it would for you or Gwen."
He noticed that she'd rather pointedly not included Jack in that list, but he just nodded. For all the non-Wolverine-ish-ness, she seemed pretty undamaged for having bounced off a brick wall.
Jack pulled the SUV into its usual parking spot and hopped out to retrieve the alien from the back. Ianto helped him get it up into a fireman's carry and he headed towards the vaults, giving Buffy a nod to join him. Gwen and Ianto headed back into the Hub's main work area.
Buffy followed Jack down into the Hub's lower levels, listening to gears moving and echoes resounding as they walked. The place almost reminded her of the castle in Scotland. Almost. There was something to be said about the extreme lack of teenagers in Torchwood.
"Any idea where it might have come from?" she asked, broaching the subject conversationally.
Jack shook his head, grunting slightly under its weight. "Never seen one before," he answered. He nodded towards the wall. "Hit the button to open the cell, would you?" he asked.
She tapped the button quickly and moved to help Jack get the big guy into the cell. "Oh, gah, he smells lovely," she grumbled when she finally got up close and personal with the alien.
Jack chuckled as they managed to muscle the alien onto the bench in the cell. "Yes, well, it's an unearthly smell, I'll give it that."
As he and Buffy stepped out of the cell, he closed the door and lead her back upstairs. Gwen and Ianto were hard at work on their computers, taking care of the coverup. Ianto looked up as Jack passed his station. "The Prime Minister called again and the BBC is set to go offline at nine o'clock," he reported before turning back to his work.
Jack looked at Buffy. "Do you have plans tonight?"
Buffy noticed Gwen smirking from behind her computer when Ianto mentioned the BBC impending doom. Well, it was going to be pretty funny. She almost wished she could watch the people at the station panicking while they scrambled to figure out what had gone wrong...
"Hmm?" she turned her attention back to Jack with raised eyebrows. "Uhm, other than slaying a few cardboard boxes? Nope. My schedule's pretty cobwebby."
"Good," he said, "because we're all going out for a drink tonight." Without turning around or waiting for the question, he added to Gwen in a put-upon tone, "Yes, you can bring Rhys." They pretended it was a hassle, but, in truth, Rhys was a good guy and Gwen needed that, and if that meant putting up with his good-natured normalness, then Jack could handle it for an evening here and there. He glanced around. "You can go home when you've finished up with what you're doing. We'll meet up outside the tourist office at eight o'clock."
Rhys? It took Buffy a moment for the lightbulb to flick on. Rhys was Gwen's husband, the normal one who'd gotten pulled into the Torchwood insanity. She remembered getting the Reader's Digest version of the wedding festivities, which she'd followed up with her own stories of the really crazy weddings she'd attended.
"Ooh, drinkage," she said with a grin. She was definitely up for doing the drinking and bonding thing; work could definitely wait until tomorrow, when they were all popping hangover pills with their coffee.
Gwen passed them as she headed over to hand Ianto some papers, giving their boss a smile and sweetly telling him, "Thank you, Jack." It made Buffy laugh.
"Yeah, yeah," Jack said, waving his hand dismissively but unable to keep the twinkle of amusement out of his eyes. "Get out of here."
Ianto took the papers and carried on with his work. There were just over three hours before they were meeting upstairs. He still had lots of time, even if he planned on going home to change.
Jack glanced at him, winked at Buffy, then slid his hands into his pockets and went up to his office.
Buffy rolled her eyes at Jack's wink before starting to gather things up at her desk. She grabbed the forms Ianto had given her for training room stuff, cramming them carefully into her messenger bag so they wouldn't get smooshed; she'd had to redo many, many forms over the years for annoyed Watcher-types and she didn't want to chance risking Ianto's wrath on the matter.
Slipping into her jacket, she spotted Gwen working on her computer, finishing up the last bit of work for the day, no doubt, and gave the woman a little wave. Passing Ianto on her way out, she grinned and told him, "See you tonight, Coffee God." Just because it was worth the wrath.
Ianto offered her a look before turning pointedly back to what he was doing. This was Jack's fault, he reminded himself. Probably entirely Jack's fault. What had Jack's completely convincing defense been? Oh, right. He'd missed Ianto. Ianto sighed to himself. He was so bloody easy sometimes. He glanced up at Jack's office. It was usually worth it, though, he thought, smiling ever so slightly to himself.
Buffy found herself spontaneously giggling the entire way back to her box-ridden apartment thanks to that look. Ianto was definitely going on her favorites list, and that was a tough spot to get these days. Jack's little team was charming, though, and reminded her so much of how the Scoobies had been for so many years, that she couldn't help but already have a soft spot for the entire group. And if what Jack had said about Gwen's husband was true, he'd probably get lumped right in there with them too.
It turned out to be a good thing that she'd left work so early -- all of her good club/bar-type clothes had still been packed away, and she had to look nice that night. It'd be the first time they'd all just be hanging out, and that was when the real impressions were made, when you really got to know the people you were working with. That had become an important thing as the New Council has become really established.
Once a suitable outfit had been picked -- a sandy-colored dress with tall dark brown books that matched her long brown leather coat -- she showered, did her hair and makeup, and made a quick phonecall to Willow about the wigged out vision thing she'd experienced earlier. Well, she tried to anyway. Once she managed to get through, after being put on hold twice and passed to the wrong extension, she was privy to the chaos of an impending apocalypse in Brazil.
Really, how had the world ever managed with only one Slayer on duty at a time?
This was why she found herself sprinting through the streets of Cardiff to get to the tourist office, a full fifteen minutes late.
Jack was leaning on the wall of the tourist office next to Ianto, who had traded in the day's suit for black jeans and a red long-sleeved t-shirt that Jack was trying to pretend he wasn't extremely distracted by. He straighted up as Buffy approached, giving her a cheeky grin. "Get lost?" he asked. "Or is this that woman's prerogative thing we hear so much about?" He offered his arm to Buffy. "Gwen and Rhys went ahead to get us a table," he said, gesturing towards the Plass as Ianto fell into step on the other side of him. "You probably noticed how many bars, restaurants and pubs line the Plass. It's handy for us. Nice and close in case of a potential world-ending emergency."
Putting her arm through Jack's, she rolled her eyes at his comment about women. "For your information," she told him, "I was late because of a potential world-ending emergency. Apparently Brazil almost got sucked into the dimension of nothing but shrimp."
And hmm, Buffy was almost as distracted by Ianto's outfit as Jack. Too bad they were both taken.
"Nothing but shrimp, huh?" Jack said with an amused smirk. "I suppose that's a bad thing if you're allergic to seafood." When they got to the bar, it took them a moment to locate Gwen and Rhys at a table near the back. It was crowded. They made their way through the clusters of patrons until they reached the table. Jack took the lone seat at the end of the table, Ianto sitting in the chair closest to him on the empty side of the table, leaving the seat on Ianto's other side for Buffy. She was sitting across from Rhys. Jack let Gwen make the introductions while Ianto stood up to go to the bar.
Ianto turned to go, then realized he didn't know what Buffy drank. He leaned over her for a moment. "What would you like to drink?" he asked.
Buffy thought about it for a moment, then decided it was time to test Ianto's skills, see if they were limited only to coffee beverages or spread across the whole wide range of liquid consumables. "You pick," she told him with a smile, before turning back to the group just in time for Gwen to finish introducing her husband.
"Nice to meet you," Rhys said with a grin, reaching out to shake her hand. She could tell immediately that she was going to like him. He had a good-natured smile, just like Xander. And he was apparently one of the 'normal' ones, too. "So, Buffy," he started when the conversation seemed to lull for a moment, "what did you before working with this lot?"
Leaning forward to set her arms on the table, she nonchalantly answered, "I was a professional vampire slayer."
Ianto raised an eyebrow at her when she told him to pick, but turned away from the table wordlessly. He got about a step before he turned back to her, pulling a sleek mobile out of his pocket.
"I didn't get a chance to give you this at the end of the day," he told her, putting it in her hand. "Your new 'cellphone'," he explained, using the American term she'd used the previous day. "Try not to bend, spindle or mutilate," he added, before heading to the bar.
Jack grinned at her. "He means that."
Buffy had looked away from Rhys' shocked and confused face when Ianto spoke and took the cellphone wordlessly. She raised an eyebrow at Jack next, then looked down at the phone like it was another baby egg project like in high school. Did Ianto really expect her to keep that thing alive when she'd already killed dozens like it just on a night of normal patrol with the girls?
"I really hope you've got good pull with him," she mumbled, setting the thing on the table and glaring down at it, thoroughly ignoring how Gwen was quietly explaining the odd story of Torchwood's newest arrival.
Jack laughed. "I think he has more pull with me," he told her, raising a suggestive eyebrow. He looked over at where Ianto was standing at the bar with great interest. "Especially when he's dressed like that," he added with a grin. He looked at Buffy's new mobile lying innocently on the table. "Not a good history with them, I take it?"
"Like I said before," she said, crossing her arms on the table, "I used to get thrown into things a lot. Buffy going smoosh against a wall usually means things in her pockets go crunch." She still remembered the look of utter disbelief on the Scoobies' faces the first few times she'd shown them the broken bits of former phone. "They might also have been used as projectile weapons a few times, too," she said almost sheepishly, looking away in that avoidy way of hers.
"Yeah, I think you might be able to get away with the 'thrown into something' excuse - especially after today - but I wouldn't use it as a projectile weapon. That is not going to fly. If you're really so averse to the gun, get yourself a crossbow or something. Just spare the phone," he advised with a wink.
"No phone-into-weaponness, gotcha," Buffy said, then smirked with a good dose of her usual charm. "Lucky for everyone involved, I've got a very nice collection of crossbows. My boyfriend bought me a specially made one for my last birthday, even, and I've only gotten to play with it in public a few times. This is the perfect chance." If her tone when talking about the gorgeous weapon was slightly dreamy, it wasn't anything new.
Ianto returned, setting pints of lager in front of himself and Rhys, a rum and coke in front of Gwen, a water in front of Jack and a martini glass filled with neon-green liquid and a slice of apple in front of Buffy.
"It's an apple-tini," he said simply, sitting down without any further explanation.
Buffy glanced between the martini glass and Ianto for a moment before picking it up and taking a sip of the drink. It was exactly the sort of thing she liked. She only went for the hardcore stuff when Faith was around and they were out to really enjoy their night off. "Maybe I should amend that title to Beverage God," she teased him quietly, then thought about it and shook her head. "Nah, not as catchy."
But really, her drink seemed to be the wild card of the table, the most girly of the bunch. And Jack's water did not go unnoticed, either.
Ianto glanced at her, seeming to have a difficult time deciding whether to be pleased she liked the drink or embarrassed by the effusive praise. "I asked the barmaid," he admitted. "I didn't know what to get you."
Jack laughed. "See? Even when he doesn't know something, he knows how to find out." He winked at Buffy when Ianto wasn't looking at him.
Buffy couldn't help the burst of laughter that bubbled up out of her. It was just too cute. "Don't worry, I won't hold it against you," she managed between giggles, having to reach up to wipe the tears from her eyes with a thumb. "My boyfriend never knew what to get me either, and when he did figure it out, he made me get my own drink."
Rhys snorted and Gwen shot him a look that clearly said what she thought of that idea. He wisely stayed silent on the matter.
Jack grinned, his cheeky expression turning from Ianto to Buffy. "Not man enough to order an apple-tini in public, huh?" he joked.
She rolled her eyes. "He's only man enough when he's in flirt-mode and hoping to get lucky," she explained, which made Rhys grin. Gwen just rolled her eyes and muttered something about that being typical man behavior.
Jack sipped his water and rested his hand on Ianto's knee. "How's unpacking going?" he asked Buffy. He supposed they should have let her get settled into town before putting her to work, but - frankly - she had seemed just as keen to come in as he'd been.
She shrugged and began to lazily run her finger along the edge of her glass. "It'll get done eventually," she commented dismissively. She hated packing, and she hated unpacking even more. It wouldn't surprise her if she still had taped up boxes in a month, shoved into corners and covered with plastic plants, because she could never remember to water the real ones.
"I've been in my flat for two years," Ianto told her. "I haven't unpacked everything yet." He paused thoughtfully. "I don't even own that much stuff."
Jack laughed lightly. "Yeah, we only just shoved those boxes into the cupboard, like, three weeks ago."
Ianto shrugged. "I can't possibly need what's in them, can I? I should just get rid of them... but then it comes to the same problem as unpacking them. I'd have to open them and sort through them."
"Oh great, that says all kinds of things about the luck I'll have," she grumbled, taking another drink of the apple-tini. Weird name, a little too literal, but at least it wasn't something completely random like Sidecar.
Gwen set her drink on the table, her other hand resting on Rhys' arm. "I could help, if you'd like," she offered in a friendly way. "We could make an evening of it." Get to know each other better. She nearly added that they could invite Tosh, but just managed to stop herself, the words turning bitter on her tongue. The memory showed in her saddened expression and her husband put a hand over hers, giving it a light squeeze.
Jack noticed Gwen's expression and turned his smile on Buffy to draw attention away from the former constable's sudden bout of grief.
"We made an evening of it," Jack said. "Of course, we only spent about three minutes shoving the boxes into the cupboard," he mused outloud.
"We don't have a lot of free evenings," Ianto pointed out. "Three minutes was already more time than I was prepared to invest in tidying away my rubbish. I seem to recall that putting the boxes somewhere was your idea."
Jack shrugged. "They gave you an air of inpermanence," he said grandly. "Anyway, they took up floorspace that could be put to better use," he added, his tone full of implication.
Buffy knew grief when she saw it. She'd seen it enough in her own lifetime to be physically incapable of missing the signs. But she also knew when to keep her mouth shut.
Slapping a hand over her eyes, she shook her head. He never stopped. Never ever. The OFF button must have been permanently disabled along with the DEAD one.
Well, she could play along. No problem. Straightening up, Buffy sent a little glare Jack's way and told him, "You're just trying to make me jealous, aren't you? I'm not going to have anywhere near that kind of luck with my housework, because the boyfriend's on another continent and Gwen here's taken."
"True on all counts," Jack agreed. "Sorry about your luck," he added with a not-very-sorry-at-all grin. "Then again, you might actually get your crap unpacked. That's not a bad consolation prize."
Buffy tossed her apple slice at him for that one.
Jack laughed, batting it down with his free hand, the other one still resting quite comfortably on Ianto's knee. He looked at Ianto. "Does that count as insubordination?" he asked, gesturing towards Buffy.
Ianto didn't even take time to think about it, his deadpan answer coming pretty much the moment Jack finished talking. "It might if we were at work," Ianto told him. "But then, that would be harrassment," he added, nodding towards Jack's hand on his knee, "so you really wouldn't be in a position to say much."
Buffy laughed again and turned to Gwen, asking, "They're always like this, aren't they?"
The Welsh woman just nodded with a small smile. "All the time," she affirmed.
"You're brave for coming out with them, Rhys," Buffy told the man with an amused smile.
Rhys shrugged and took a drink of his lager. "I've got Gwen to keep me safe," he said with a bit of nonchalance, then shared a grin with his wife. Buffy had to admit, they looked adorable together.
"I don't know what you mean," Jack said with exagerrated innocence.
"I do," Ianto said mildly, taking a drink of his beer.
Buffy shared a laugh with Gwen and Rhys. It was nice to just sit and talk with people, to joke around and not have that huge amount of baggage hanging over them like with so many of her other friendships. And she was especially liking Rhys. The snide little comments he made that left Gwen grinning were giving Buffy a very high opinion of the man. Jack's few stories about him only added to that.
"So, since the tour was cut short earlier...," she started with a smile. "Any good clubs in the area?" Perhaps a bit of a random question, but it was very pertinent in the life of Buffy.
Jack looked at Ianto, the youngest member of their group, but he just shrugged. "Why are you looking at me?" he said with a bit of a frown. "You know where I spend my evenings." He looked over at Buffy apologetically. "I'm sure there are good clubs, but I haven't been out clubbing in years. I can tell you which ones people say are good, but I wouldn't vouch for them personally."
Sighing dramatically, Buffy set her chin in her palm and leaned on the table. "Guess I'll just have to find the good ones myself," she said, making it sound like it was such an inconvenience. "It's kinda a Slayer-Buffy thing," she explained. "Gotta let out some energy, and since this place is mostly vamp-free, dancing is the next best option."
Jack grinned. "Unless your boyfriend finds his way over here," he countered.
Buffy rolled her eyes and sank back against her chair. "I should have seen that coming," she muttered to herself. "So should have seen it."
Rhys leaned forward a bit with genuine, not at all flirty curiosity. "You've got a boyfriend? That's one lucky bloke."
She grinned and nodded her agreement. "That's what he says," she said, doing that beaming thing her sister usually gagged over.
"Oh, and he knows the right answers," Jack joked. "Sounds like a keeper," he told her with a wink.
"We've been dating for six years, he'd better have learned the right answers by now!" she exclaimed with a laugh, and Gwen's eyes went wide as she joined in.
Rhys shook his head and took a long drink of much-needed alcohol. "He'd have been more than an idiot not to," he informed Buffy with an almost dopey smile. "Take Gwen here out of the runnin', and you're definitely the prettiest girl in the bar."
Raising her glass in a salute, the blonde said, "I knew I liked you, Rhys."
Jack and Ianto exchanged a look.
"I think Rhys is in love," Jack said dramatically.
"Again," Ianto added, raising an eyebrow at Gwen.
The look of utter confusion and distress on Rhys' face had Buffy in stitches and nearly falling off her chair. Gwen just smacked her own forehead.
Well, this reaction only encouraged them.
Ianto took a nonchalant sip of his beer before looking at Jack. "Do you think he just as a fetish for women that can kill him with their bare hands?" he inquired as though he were asking about the weather.
"Well, that is pretty hot," Jack conceded, matching Ianto's casual tone.
Rhys clearly didn't like where this all seemed to be going, but didn't know what to say for fear of it being the extremely wrong thing and landing him on the couch that night. His mouth hung open as he made fish faces, looking back and forth between the people at the table.
"Alright now, that's enough," Gwen finally tried, pointing a finger at Jack and Ianto, knowing neither was innocent in the matter.
Buffy had to get through another few giggles before she could try to help. "Yes, while it is apparently really hot when women can kick ass, maybe the torturing of Rhys should be continued later, when he's a bit more drunk," she suggested to the two troublemakers.
"It's no fun when he's drunk," Jack stated with some authority, as though he had experience in the matter.
"And he tends to get himself into trouble," Ianto added.
Jack nodded in agreement. "Liquid courage gives him the need to answer back."
"A bad idea all around," Ianto added helpfully.
Poor Buffy just watched Rhys as he seemed to just sink into his chair. She knew what he was thinking. He couldn't fight back, because Gwen would get angry. He couldn't leave, because Gwen would get angry. All he could was sit there and wait for it to stop or for Gwen to get angry at someone else.
"Seriously, you two," Gwen tried again, narrowing her eyes at her male teammates. "You can stop harassing my husband now."
"You said you wanted us to make him feel like part of the group," Ianto pointed out.
"You really have to make up your mind," Jack told her.
"If we're all about making people feel like part of the group," Buffy interjected, "shouldn't I be getting all harassed, too? I am the newbie here, after all. Isn't that some sort of initiation thingie?" It had been quite a while since she'd been a newbie, so maybe she'd just missed the memo.
"We can do that at work," Ianto told her.
"You're around all the time," Jack agreed.
Ianto frowned thoughtfully. "Didn't we spend half the afternoon doing that?" he asked.
"Yeah, I think we managed to squeeze it in somewhere between the Invisible Lift and you getting that bruise on your face."
"Watch it."
"Right, we were talking about Rhys anyway."
Buffy just stared at the two of them, realizing she was going to have to build up an arsenal to combat their dastardly duo. She was about to just shrug and leave poor Rhys to fend for himself when an idea popped into her cute little blonde head.
Picking up her drink, she downed the half a glass that had been sitting there and then gave the delicate glass a demonstrative shake to show that it was clearly empty. "Hey, Rhys, would you mind getting me another?" she asked innocently, and nearly died when the man shot out of his seat and headed for the bar.
Jack looked down the table at her. "That's one way to get a guy to buy you a drink," he commented with a smirk.
"He's not that hard done by," Ianto told her. "Anyway, I thought you liked winding people up," he added with a pointed look. Her stated propensity for trying to get him flustered was all the precedent he needed. He didn't see why Rhys should get a free pass.
"You can fight back," Buffy pointed out, knowing exactly what he was talking about. "Rhys has to make sure he didn't piss off Gwen, or he'll end up in the married man doghouse."
"Oi," Gwen protested, then apparently couldn't think of anything to follow it up with, so just took a long drink of her rum and coke instead. It was kinda true.
Jack laughed as Gwen's protest died a quick death. "Can't argue with that," Jack admitted. He looked at Gwen. "Though Rhys must be fitting in just fine with the group, if Buffy's protecting him," he pointed out.
The girl in question rolled her eyes and picked up a napkin from the table, folding it into some weird origami-esque shape since she didn't have a drink to play with. "He's sweet," she informed Jack with a very distinct look. "Reminds me of my friend Xander. First friend I made after I did the whole moving to a Hellmouth thing back in high school." Good memories.
Jack nodded. "He is sweet," he agreed. He looked at Ianto. "Don't you think he's sweet?"
"Very sweet," Ianto confirmed.
"He doesn't actually remind me of anyone," Jack continued. "But I guess we'll be going easy on him if he's making you nostalgic," he added with a smirk.
The women at the table shared an exasperated look, followed by Buffy shaking her head and tossing aside the now wadded up napkin. It bounced along for a moment before skittering off the edge of the table.
"I don't know why I bother," she told Gwen, then turned narrowed eyes on Jack and Ianto. "You two are incorrigible. Especially you, Mr. Swishy Coat."
Jack raised an indignant eyebrow. "My coat doesn't swish," he pointed out. "It billows."
Ianto turned his gaze to Buffy as well. "You pretty much deserve any abuse you get from me, at this point, Miss Dishes It Out All Day."
Buffy laughed in an amused, absolutely not at all innocent way. "I do, don't I?" she agreed with a grin.
She spotted Gwen's gaze move to over her shoulder and turned to see Rhys carefully approaching the table with another apple-tini in hand. "'s it safe to come back, or should I put in for a retreat?" he asked with a glance between Buffy and his wife.
Gwen chuckled quietly and gestured for him to sit down. "I think you're safe now, they've moved on to other things." Rhys was visibly relieved and handed the drink to a smiling vampire slayer.
They passed the evening with a couple more drinks and a lot more questions for Buffy once things loosened up, many of which Jack already knew the answers to. Like he'd told Ianto: they'd chatted in that extratemporal prison.
It was shortly after midnight when Jack looked at his watch.
"Alright, best finish up this round and call it a night," he suggested. "You're still due in at nine in the morning," he reminded them.
Buffy downed the rest of her drink as Rhys began to again sort of lean into Gwen. After the little opening routine, he'd definitely loosened up and shown the rest of them just how much he could drink... and where his limit was. The dopey look on his face really was a lot like Xander's.
"You're such a slave-driver, Harkness," she informed him with a scrunched-up-nose face before leaning back in her chair to stretch. "But, works for me. I've got a phone date to get to; he should be waking up about now for the night shift."
Jack laughed and addressed the rest of them. "You heard her, people. Drink up and get out. Buffy's got phone sex to get to!" he exclaimed.
Ianto rolled his eyes as he got up and grabbed Jack's coat. He slid it up over Jack's shoulders as the captain slipped his arms into the sleeves, then went over to the bar to pay their tab.
Buffy joined Ianto in a round of rolling eyes, then smirked at the way Rhys had seemingly perked up at the mention of sex. Such a guy.
While Gwen kept her husband from being plastered to the table, Buffy pulled on her own coat. "I'm almost dreading the day when you two actually meet," she told Jack as she checked to make sure the new cell phone was still safe in the pocket where she'd hid it after it was nearly coated in apple-tini. "He's going to get so many ideas."
"He will after I give him some ideas!" Jack replied cheerfully.
He glanced over his shoulder, but Ianto was stuck behind a drunk who was trying to pay with his card and seemed to be having trouble entering his PIN. Ianto caught Jack's eyes and shrugged. Jack turned his attention back to Buffy. "So," he continued. "Speaking of the day we two actually meet... when do you think that will be?" he asked casually.
Buffy glanced over to see that somehow Gwen had ended up in Rhys' lap and the two were giggling at each other. Ah, newlyweds. They never stopped being sickeningly sweet.
"Not for a very long time, if I have anything to say about it," she replied, putting her hands on her hips. "But since I probably don't... who knows. He likes to pop up unannounced sometimes. Having a job that pays to travel makes it kinda easy for him, and he loves it." Maybe a little too much, now that she thought about it.
Jack followed Buffy's gaze over to Gwen and Rhys, who were quite thoroughly wrapped up in each other now, in more than one sense of the word. "You two can go," Jack told them in a sing-song voice. "Ianto doesn't need your help paying the bill."
Buffy giggled as Gwen dragged Rhys up out of the chair and grabbed their coats.
"Right then, see you lot tomorrow!" Gwen called as they headed toward the front of the bar, managing to weave between people with relatively few casualties along the way.
Gwen and Rhys had departed and Ianto hadn't returned. Jack looked at Buffy, his expression serious again. "Do you want a lift home?" he asked. There was no teasing in his voice. It wasn't that he didn't think she could look after herself, but she was new to the city and the Hub wasn't far away.
Leaning her hip against the table, she glanced at Ianto and then back to Jack with a raised eyebrow. "Are you two gonna be able to behave yourselves that long?" she questioned him with a smirk. She knew the offer was serious, and was actually considering it, not looking forward to potentially getting lost in the middle of the night and ending up in even more desperate need of caffeine come morning.
Jack looked over at Ianto. "While he's wearing that?" he commented. He smirked. "Maybe," he said wickedly. He looked back at Buffy. "Honestly, we can give you a lift. It's no trouble."
Smiling softly, she nodded and looked up at him with that friendly, trusting gaze he'd earned during those weeks together. "A 'lift' would be great," she agreed, using the British terminology.
Returning her attention to Ianto, Buffy smirked. "He does look really good in that, doesn't he?" she said, stating the oh so obvious.
Jack grinned wolfishly. "I think I'm going to peel it off with my teeth," he said by way of agreement.
She laughed loudly and shook her head. "He really is going to get so many ideas," she said to herself, not entirely sure it was a bad thing.
Ianto returned to find them both laughing and eyed them suspiciously. "Do I want to know?" he asked warily.
"We're driving Buffy home," Jack told him.
Ianto nodded, still looking at them with suspicion. He was clearly still missing the punchline, but he didn't ask.
They headed for the door and Jack slipped his hand into Ianto's, intertwining their fingers. "Do you know how to get to Buffy's flat?" he asked. Ianto just gave him a look that asked if there was someplace in Cardiff Jack thought Ianto didn't know how to get to.
It was only once they'd gotten to the Hub and climbed into the SUV that Buffy felt at all motivated to potentially warn Ianto of his impending doom. "I hope you've got more of that neat paperwork," she said from her spot lounging in the back, "because I don't think Jack intends for your outfit to make it back to your closet without some strategically placed collateral damage."
Ianto glanced in the rearview mirror with a small degree of mortified shock, which he attempted to hide by turning his attention intently to the steering wheel while he started the car's engine. It wasn't Jack's potential intentions that had garnered the reaction - he was well aware of the kinds of things Jack got up to and, in fact, encouraged them - but the fact that he seemed to have discussed them with Buffy. Could he not leave them alone for five minutes? He looked over at Jack uncertainly. Jack smiled back and reached over to give his knee a reassuring squeeze.
Buffy giggled quietly and settled in for the ride, watching the city's lights streak past the window, getting to once again appreciate the beauty night could possess. So many years as the Slayer had dulled her appreciation for the little things; perhaps this new gig would help to set things right again.
When they finally came to a stop outside her building, she was more than a little sleepy, and more than a little eager to get away from the two of them, now that Jack had that look in his eye. They were definitely going to have a late night. She envied them.
Opening the door, she gave the obnoxiously adorable couple a smile and a little wave before climbing out. "See you two in the morning," she said. "Bright and early," she stressed sarcastically in Jack's general direction.
"I don't even need to sleep!" he called back before rolling up his window. He always told people that, but it wasn't, strictly, true. He did need to sleep, it was just that sleep deprivation wouldn't harm him as much as other people and certainly wouldn't kill him. He could go longer without sleep and without noticing the effects of a lack of it. He liked sleeping though. Well, he liked it now. It had been less alluring when he was alone.
Ianto drove them back to the Hub and parked the SUV in its usual spot for the night. He knew exactly how many clean suits he had in Jack's closet at any given time. There were three in there now, but he wasn't giving much thought to what to wear the next day.
Jack took his hand again as they walked into the Hub.
Buffy watched the SUV disappear around a corner before turning to head up to her apartment. She took the stairs, like always, not minding the few flights if it lessened her chances of getting stuck in an elevator. She didn't trust the world enough anymore to provide that sort of temptation and not expect something to act on it.
Walking into the darkened apartment, she nearly fell over a pile of boxes before she could fumble her way into the kitchen. Her things were piled onto the counter, where they would be at least relatively safe, and then she made a beeline for her phone. A few actually memorized numbers later, she collapsed onto her bed and curled up with the phone pressed to her ear.
"Hey you, am I late?"
Authors' Note: See, we're not dead! Just had to a pull a slight zombie act for a few weeks while midterms, RP, and real life in general drew our attention elsewhere. But we never stopped thinking of our little project, and the next few chapters will be full of excitement!
* Want to know when we post new chapters? Track when we post with the "so buffy met jack" tag!
Title: So Buffy Met Jack...
Authors: Amy tainted_crimson & Sarah magicom
Crossover: Buffy the Vampire Slayer / Torchwood
Spoilers: Through Buffy / Angel series finales and Torchwood Series 2 / Doctor Who Series 4. (Some elements borrowed from Season 8 comics)
Rating: FR-15
Disclaimer: Everything is owned by Joss/Fox and Russell/BBC!
Summary: After spending a few weeks trapped in an extratemporal holding cell together, Captain Jack Harkness offered Buffy Summers a job at Torchwood. And how could she ever turn down an offer like that?
Chapters: 01, 02, 03, 04, 05, 06, 07, 08, 09
TORCHWOOD SMASHED
Gwen arrived in the SUV a few minutes later, climbing out and automatically filling Jack in on things. "I've called Andy, let him know we've got things on this end," she told him, eying the body on the ground. "He almost sounded grateful. Maybe we're moving up in the world," she joked in her thick Welsh accent.
Ianto made a sort of scoffing sound at that as he passed, moving to open the back of the SUV for Jack.
Jack nodded at Gwen's report, then hefted the creature up onto his shoulder just long enough to get it into the car. He took the keys from Gwen and climbed into the driver's seat. Ianto let Gwen have shotgun, opening the back door for Buffy before climbing in himself.
Jack started the car, but didn't put it into gear right away. He looked at Ianto in the rearview mirror. "What did happen to your face?" he asked.
"Boyfriend," Ianto replied wearily.
"That usually happens to me," Jack noted, humour lacing his tone.
"As well it should," Ianto retorted.
Buffy snickered from her spot in the backseat, then turned to Ianto. "I've got some stuff that'll help with that back at my apartment," she said, gesturing to the spot on his cheek that was quickly darkening into a colorful bruise. "Works just like magic. The NC kinda has its own pharmacological range of stuff now, all industrial strength for the Slayers."
Ianto looked over at her as the car started moving. "I... thought you all had super healing," he said. It wasn't an accusation, he was just curious. Perhaps he'd misunderstood what Jack had meant.
She gave a one-shouldered shrug. "We do, but it's not all Wolverine-ish and immediate," she explained, and immediately wanted to punch Xander and Andrew for the comic book reference that had slipped in. "Broken bones and bad bruises still hurt and take time, just not as much as it would for you or Gwen."
He noticed that she'd rather pointedly not included Jack in that list, but he just nodded. For all the non-Wolverine-ish-ness, she seemed pretty undamaged for having bounced off a brick wall.
Jack pulled the SUV into its usual parking spot and hopped out to retrieve the alien from the back. Ianto helped him get it up into a fireman's carry and he headed towards the vaults, giving Buffy a nod to join him. Gwen and Ianto headed back into the Hub's main work area.
Buffy followed Jack down into the Hub's lower levels, listening to gears moving and echoes resounding as they walked. The place almost reminded her of the castle in Scotland. Almost. There was something to be said about the extreme lack of teenagers in Torchwood.
"Any idea where it might have come from?" she asked, broaching the subject conversationally.
Jack shook his head, grunting slightly under its weight. "Never seen one before," he answered. He nodded towards the wall. "Hit the button to open the cell, would you?" he asked.
She tapped the button quickly and moved to help Jack get the big guy into the cell. "Oh, gah, he smells lovely," she grumbled when she finally got up close and personal with the alien.
Jack chuckled as they managed to muscle the alien onto the bench in the cell. "Yes, well, it's an unearthly smell, I'll give it that."
As he and Buffy stepped out of the cell, he closed the door and lead her back upstairs. Gwen and Ianto were hard at work on their computers, taking care of the coverup. Ianto looked up as Jack passed his station. "The Prime Minister called again and the BBC is set to go offline at nine o'clock," he reported before turning back to his work.
Jack looked at Buffy. "Do you have plans tonight?"
Buffy noticed Gwen smirking from behind her computer when Ianto mentioned the BBC impending doom. Well, it was going to be pretty funny. She almost wished she could watch the people at the station panicking while they scrambled to figure out what had gone wrong...
"Hmm?" she turned her attention back to Jack with raised eyebrows. "Uhm, other than slaying a few cardboard boxes? Nope. My schedule's pretty cobwebby."
"Good," he said, "because we're all going out for a drink tonight." Without turning around or waiting for the question, he added to Gwen in a put-upon tone, "Yes, you can bring Rhys." They pretended it was a hassle, but, in truth, Rhys was a good guy and Gwen needed that, and if that meant putting up with his good-natured normalness, then Jack could handle it for an evening here and there. He glanced around. "You can go home when you've finished up with what you're doing. We'll meet up outside the tourist office at eight o'clock."
Rhys? It took Buffy a moment for the lightbulb to flick on. Rhys was Gwen's husband, the normal one who'd gotten pulled into the Torchwood insanity. She remembered getting the Reader's Digest version of the wedding festivities, which she'd followed up with her own stories of the really crazy weddings she'd attended.
"Ooh, drinkage," she said with a grin. She was definitely up for doing the drinking and bonding thing; work could definitely wait until tomorrow, when they were all popping hangover pills with their coffee.
Gwen passed them as she headed over to hand Ianto some papers, giving their boss a smile and sweetly telling him, "Thank you, Jack." It made Buffy laugh.
"Yeah, yeah," Jack said, waving his hand dismissively but unable to keep the twinkle of amusement out of his eyes. "Get out of here."
Ianto took the papers and carried on with his work. There were just over three hours before they were meeting upstairs. He still had lots of time, even if he planned on going home to change.
Jack glanced at him, winked at Buffy, then slid his hands into his pockets and went up to his office.
Buffy rolled her eyes at Jack's wink before starting to gather things up at her desk. She grabbed the forms Ianto had given her for training room stuff, cramming them carefully into her messenger bag so they wouldn't get smooshed; she'd had to redo many, many forms over the years for annoyed Watcher-types and she didn't want to chance risking Ianto's wrath on the matter.
Slipping into her jacket, she spotted Gwen working on her computer, finishing up the last bit of work for the day, no doubt, and gave the woman a little wave. Passing Ianto on her way out, she grinned and told him, "See you tonight, Coffee God." Just because it was worth the wrath.
Ianto offered her a look before turning pointedly back to what he was doing. This was Jack's fault, he reminded himself. Probably entirely Jack's fault. What had Jack's completely convincing defense been? Oh, right. He'd missed Ianto. Ianto sighed to himself. He was so bloody easy sometimes. He glanced up at Jack's office. It was usually worth it, though, he thought, smiling ever so slightly to himself.
Buffy found herself spontaneously giggling the entire way back to her box-ridden apartment thanks to that look. Ianto was definitely going on her favorites list, and that was a tough spot to get these days. Jack's little team was charming, though, and reminded her so much of how the Scoobies had been for so many years, that she couldn't help but already have a soft spot for the entire group. And if what Jack had said about Gwen's husband was true, he'd probably get lumped right in there with them too.
It turned out to be a good thing that she'd left work so early -- all of her good club/bar-type clothes had still been packed away, and she had to look nice that night. It'd be the first time they'd all just be hanging out, and that was when the real impressions were made, when you really got to know the people you were working with. That had become an important thing as the New Council has become really established.
Once a suitable outfit had been picked -- a sandy-colored dress with tall dark brown books that matched her long brown leather coat -- she showered, did her hair and makeup, and made a quick phonecall to Willow about the wigged out vision thing she'd experienced earlier. Well, she tried to anyway. Once she managed to get through, after being put on hold twice and passed to the wrong extension, she was privy to the chaos of an impending apocalypse in Brazil.
Really, how had the world ever managed with only one Slayer on duty at a time?
This was why she found herself sprinting through the streets of Cardiff to get to the tourist office, a full fifteen minutes late.
Jack was leaning on the wall of the tourist office next to Ianto, who had traded in the day's suit for black jeans and a red long-sleeved t-shirt that Jack was trying to pretend he wasn't extremely distracted by. He straighted up as Buffy approached, giving her a cheeky grin. "Get lost?" he asked. "Or is this that woman's prerogative thing we hear so much about?" He offered his arm to Buffy. "Gwen and Rhys went ahead to get us a table," he said, gesturing towards the Plass as Ianto fell into step on the other side of him. "You probably noticed how many bars, restaurants and pubs line the Plass. It's handy for us. Nice and close in case of a potential world-ending emergency."
Putting her arm through Jack's, she rolled her eyes at his comment about women. "For your information," she told him, "I was late because of a potential world-ending emergency. Apparently Brazil almost got sucked into the dimension of nothing but shrimp."
And hmm, Buffy was almost as distracted by Ianto's outfit as Jack. Too bad they were both taken.
"Nothing but shrimp, huh?" Jack said with an amused smirk. "I suppose that's a bad thing if you're allergic to seafood." When they got to the bar, it took them a moment to locate Gwen and Rhys at a table near the back. It was crowded. They made their way through the clusters of patrons until they reached the table. Jack took the lone seat at the end of the table, Ianto sitting in the chair closest to him on the empty side of the table, leaving the seat on Ianto's other side for Buffy. She was sitting across from Rhys. Jack let Gwen make the introductions while Ianto stood up to go to the bar.
Ianto turned to go, then realized he didn't know what Buffy drank. He leaned over her for a moment. "What would you like to drink?" he asked.
Buffy thought about it for a moment, then decided it was time to test Ianto's skills, see if they were limited only to coffee beverages or spread across the whole wide range of liquid consumables. "You pick," she told him with a smile, before turning back to the group just in time for Gwen to finish introducing her husband.
"Nice to meet you," Rhys said with a grin, reaching out to shake her hand. She could tell immediately that she was going to like him. He had a good-natured smile, just like Xander. And he was apparently one of the 'normal' ones, too. "So, Buffy," he started when the conversation seemed to lull for a moment, "what did you before working with this lot?"
Leaning forward to set her arms on the table, she nonchalantly answered, "I was a professional vampire slayer."
Ianto raised an eyebrow at her when she told him to pick, but turned away from the table wordlessly. He got about a step before he turned back to her, pulling a sleek mobile out of his pocket.
"I didn't get a chance to give you this at the end of the day," he told her, putting it in her hand. "Your new 'cellphone'," he explained, using the American term she'd used the previous day. "Try not to bend, spindle or mutilate," he added, before heading to the bar.
Jack grinned at her. "He means that."
Buffy had looked away from Rhys' shocked and confused face when Ianto spoke and took the cellphone wordlessly. She raised an eyebrow at Jack next, then looked down at the phone like it was another baby egg project like in high school. Did Ianto really expect her to keep that thing alive when she'd already killed dozens like it just on a night of normal patrol with the girls?
"I really hope you've got good pull with him," she mumbled, setting the thing on the table and glaring down at it, thoroughly ignoring how Gwen was quietly explaining the odd story of Torchwood's newest arrival.
Jack laughed. "I think he has more pull with me," he told her, raising a suggestive eyebrow. He looked over at where Ianto was standing at the bar with great interest. "Especially when he's dressed like that," he added with a grin. He looked at Buffy's new mobile lying innocently on the table. "Not a good history with them, I take it?"
"Like I said before," she said, crossing her arms on the table, "I used to get thrown into things a lot. Buffy going smoosh against a wall usually means things in her pockets go crunch." She still remembered the look of utter disbelief on the Scoobies' faces the first few times she'd shown them the broken bits of former phone. "They might also have been used as projectile weapons a few times, too," she said almost sheepishly, looking away in that avoidy way of hers.
"Yeah, I think you might be able to get away with the 'thrown into something' excuse - especially after today - but I wouldn't use it as a projectile weapon. That is not going to fly. If you're really so averse to the gun, get yourself a crossbow or something. Just spare the phone," he advised with a wink.
"No phone-into-weaponness, gotcha," Buffy said, then smirked with a good dose of her usual charm. "Lucky for everyone involved, I've got a very nice collection of crossbows. My boyfriend bought me a specially made one for my last birthday, even, and I've only gotten to play with it in public a few times. This is the perfect chance." If her tone when talking about the gorgeous weapon was slightly dreamy, it wasn't anything new.
Ianto returned, setting pints of lager in front of himself and Rhys, a rum and coke in front of Gwen, a water in front of Jack and a martini glass filled with neon-green liquid and a slice of apple in front of Buffy.
"It's an apple-tini," he said simply, sitting down without any further explanation.
Buffy glanced between the martini glass and Ianto for a moment before picking it up and taking a sip of the drink. It was exactly the sort of thing she liked. She only went for the hardcore stuff when Faith was around and they were out to really enjoy their night off. "Maybe I should amend that title to Beverage God," she teased him quietly, then thought about it and shook her head. "Nah, not as catchy."
But really, her drink seemed to be the wild card of the table, the most girly of the bunch. And Jack's water did not go unnoticed, either.
Ianto glanced at her, seeming to have a difficult time deciding whether to be pleased she liked the drink or embarrassed by the effusive praise. "I asked the barmaid," he admitted. "I didn't know what to get you."
Jack laughed. "See? Even when he doesn't know something, he knows how to find out." He winked at Buffy when Ianto wasn't looking at him.
Buffy couldn't help the burst of laughter that bubbled up out of her. It was just too cute. "Don't worry, I won't hold it against you," she managed between giggles, having to reach up to wipe the tears from her eyes with a thumb. "My boyfriend never knew what to get me either, and when he did figure it out, he made me get my own drink."
Rhys snorted and Gwen shot him a look that clearly said what she thought of that idea. He wisely stayed silent on the matter.
Jack grinned, his cheeky expression turning from Ianto to Buffy. "Not man enough to order an apple-tini in public, huh?" he joked.
She rolled her eyes. "He's only man enough when he's in flirt-mode and hoping to get lucky," she explained, which made Rhys grin. Gwen just rolled her eyes and muttered something about that being typical man behavior.
Jack sipped his water and rested his hand on Ianto's knee. "How's unpacking going?" he asked Buffy. He supposed they should have let her get settled into town before putting her to work, but - frankly - she had seemed just as keen to come in as he'd been.
She shrugged and began to lazily run her finger along the edge of her glass. "It'll get done eventually," she commented dismissively. She hated packing, and she hated unpacking even more. It wouldn't surprise her if she still had taped up boxes in a month, shoved into corners and covered with plastic plants, because she could never remember to water the real ones.
"I've been in my flat for two years," Ianto told her. "I haven't unpacked everything yet." He paused thoughtfully. "I don't even own that much stuff."
Jack laughed lightly. "Yeah, we only just shoved those boxes into the cupboard, like, three weeks ago."
Ianto shrugged. "I can't possibly need what's in them, can I? I should just get rid of them... but then it comes to the same problem as unpacking them. I'd have to open them and sort through them."
"Oh great, that says all kinds of things about the luck I'll have," she grumbled, taking another drink of the apple-tini. Weird name, a little too literal, but at least it wasn't something completely random like Sidecar.
Gwen set her drink on the table, her other hand resting on Rhys' arm. "I could help, if you'd like," she offered in a friendly way. "We could make an evening of it." Get to know each other better. She nearly added that they could invite Tosh, but just managed to stop herself, the words turning bitter on her tongue. The memory showed in her saddened expression and her husband put a hand over hers, giving it a light squeeze.
Jack noticed Gwen's expression and turned his smile on Buffy to draw attention away from the former constable's sudden bout of grief.
"We made an evening of it," Jack said. "Of course, we only spent about three minutes shoving the boxes into the cupboard," he mused outloud.
"We don't have a lot of free evenings," Ianto pointed out. "Three minutes was already more time than I was prepared to invest in tidying away my rubbish. I seem to recall that putting the boxes somewhere was your idea."
Jack shrugged. "They gave you an air of inpermanence," he said grandly. "Anyway, they took up floorspace that could be put to better use," he added, his tone full of implication.
Buffy knew grief when she saw it. She'd seen it enough in her own lifetime to be physically incapable of missing the signs. But she also knew when to keep her mouth shut.
Slapping a hand over her eyes, she shook her head. He never stopped. Never ever. The OFF button must have been permanently disabled along with the DEAD one.
Well, she could play along. No problem. Straightening up, Buffy sent a little glare Jack's way and told him, "You're just trying to make me jealous, aren't you? I'm not going to have anywhere near that kind of luck with my housework, because the boyfriend's on another continent and Gwen here's taken."
"True on all counts," Jack agreed. "Sorry about your luck," he added with a not-very-sorry-at-all grin. "Then again, you might actually get your crap unpacked. That's not a bad consolation prize."
Buffy tossed her apple slice at him for that one.
Jack laughed, batting it down with his free hand, the other one still resting quite comfortably on Ianto's knee. He looked at Ianto. "Does that count as insubordination?" he asked, gesturing towards Buffy.
Ianto didn't even take time to think about it, his deadpan answer coming pretty much the moment Jack finished talking. "It might if we were at work," Ianto told him. "But then, that would be harrassment," he added, nodding towards Jack's hand on his knee, "so you really wouldn't be in a position to say much."
Buffy laughed again and turned to Gwen, asking, "They're always like this, aren't they?"
The Welsh woman just nodded with a small smile. "All the time," she affirmed.
"You're brave for coming out with them, Rhys," Buffy told the man with an amused smile.
Rhys shrugged and took a drink of his lager. "I've got Gwen to keep me safe," he said with a bit of nonchalance, then shared a grin with his wife. Buffy had to admit, they looked adorable together.
"I don't know what you mean," Jack said with exagerrated innocence.
"I do," Ianto said mildly, taking a drink of his beer.
Buffy shared a laugh with Gwen and Rhys. It was nice to just sit and talk with people, to joke around and not have that huge amount of baggage hanging over them like with so many of her other friendships. And she was especially liking Rhys. The snide little comments he made that left Gwen grinning were giving Buffy a very high opinion of the man. Jack's few stories about him only added to that.
"So, since the tour was cut short earlier...," she started with a smile. "Any good clubs in the area?" Perhaps a bit of a random question, but it was very pertinent in the life of Buffy.
Jack looked at Ianto, the youngest member of their group, but he just shrugged. "Why are you looking at me?" he said with a bit of a frown. "You know where I spend my evenings." He looked over at Buffy apologetically. "I'm sure there are good clubs, but I haven't been out clubbing in years. I can tell you which ones people say are good, but I wouldn't vouch for them personally."
Sighing dramatically, Buffy set her chin in her palm and leaned on the table. "Guess I'll just have to find the good ones myself," she said, making it sound like it was such an inconvenience. "It's kinda a Slayer-Buffy thing," she explained. "Gotta let out some energy, and since this place is mostly vamp-free, dancing is the next best option."
Jack grinned. "Unless your boyfriend finds his way over here," he countered.
Buffy rolled her eyes and sank back against her chair. "I should have seen that coming," she muttered to herself. "So should have seen it."
Rhys leaned forward a bit with genuine, not at all flirty curiosity. "You've got a boyfriend? That's one lucky bloke."
She grinned and nodded her agreement. "That's what he says," she said, doing that beaming thing her sister usually gagged over.
"Oh, and he knows the right answers," Jack joked. "Sounds like a keeper," he told her with a wink.
"We've been dating for six years, he'd better have learned the right answers by now!" she exclaimed with a laugh, and Gwen's eyes went wide as she joined in.
Rhys shook his head and took a long drink of much-needed alcohol. "He'd have been more than an idiot not to," he informed Buffy with an almost dopey smile. "Take Gwen here out of the runnin', and you're definitely the prettiest girl in the bar."
Raising her glass in a salute, the blonde said, "I knew I liked you, Rhys."
Jack and Ianto exchanged a look.
"I think Rhys is in love," Jack said dramatically.
"Again," Ianto added, raising an eyebrow at Gwen.
The look of utter confusion and distress on Rhys' face had Buffy in stitches and nearly falling off her chair. Gwen just smacked her own forehead.
Well, this reaction only encouraged them.
Ianto took a nonchalant sip of his beer before looking at Jack. "Do you think he just as a fetish for women that can kill him with their bare hands?" he inquired as though he were asking about the weather.
"Well, that is pretty hot," Jack conceded, matching Ianto's casual tone.
Rhys clearly didn't like where this all seemed to be going, but didn't know what to say for fear of it being the extremely wrong thing and landing him on the couch that night. His mouth hung open as he made fish faces, looking back and forth between the people at the table.
"Alright now, that's enough," Gwen finally tried, pointing a finger at Jack and Ianto, knowing neither was innocent in the matter.
Buffy had to get through another few giggles before she could try to help. "Yes, while it is apparently really hot when women can kick ass, maybe the torturing of Rhys should be continued later, when he's a bit more drunk," she suggested to the two troublemakers.
"It's no fun when he's drunk," Jack stated with some authority, as though he had experience in the matter.
"And he tends to get himself into trouble," Ianto added.
Jack nodded in agreement. "Liquid courage gives him the need to answer back."
"A bad idea all around," Ianto added helpfully.
Poor Buffy just watched Rhys as he seemed to just sink into his chair. She knew what he was thinking. He couldn't fight back, because Gwen would get angry. He couldn't leave, because Gwen would get angry. All he could was sit there and wait for it to stop or for Gwen to get angry at someone else.
"Seriously, you two," Gwen tried again, narrowing her eyes at her male teammates. "You can stop harassing my husband now."
"You said you wanted us to make him feel like part of the group," Ianto pointed out.
"You really have to make up your mind," Jack told her.
"If we're all about making people feel like part of the group," Buffy interjected, "shouldn't I be getting all harassed, too? I am the newbie here, after all. Isn't that some sort of initiation thingie?" It had been quite a while since she'd been a newbie, so maybe she'd just missed the memo.
"We can do that at work," Ianto told her.
"You're around all the time," Jack agreed.
Ianto frowned thoughtfully. "Didn't we spend half the afternoon doing that?" he asked.
"Yeah, I think we managed to squeeze it in somewhere between the Invisible Lift and you getting that bruise on your face."
"Watch it."
"Right, we were talking about Rhys anyway."
Buffy just stared at the two of them, realizing she was going to have to build up an arsenal to combat their dastardly duo. She was about to just shrug and leave poor Rhys to fend for himself when an idea popped into her cute little blonde head.
Picking up her drink, she downed the half a glass that had been sitting there and then gave the delicate glass a demonstrative shake to show that it was clearly empty. "Hey, Rhys, would you mind getting me another?" she asked innocently, and nearly died when the man shot out of his seat and headed for the bar.
Jack looked down the table at her. "That's one way to get a guy to buy you a drink," he commented with a smirk.
"He's not that hard done by," Ianto told her. "Anyway, I thought you liked winding people up," he added with a pointed look. Her stated propensity for trying to get him flustered was all the precedent he needed. He didn't see why Rhys should get a free pass.
"You can fight back," Buffy pointed out, knowing exactly what he was talking about. "Rhys has to make sure he didn't piss off Gwen, or he'll end up in the married man doghouse."
"Oi," Gwen protested, then apparently couldn't think of anything to follow it up with, so just took a long drink of her rum and coke instead. It was kinda true.
Jack laughed as Gwen's protest died a quick death. "Can't argue with that," Jack admitted. He looked at Gwen. "Though Rhys must be fitting in just fine with the group, if Buffy's protecting him," he pointed out.
The girl in question rolled her eyes and picked up a napkin from the table, folding it into some weird origami-esque shape since she didn't have a drink to play with. "He's sweet," she informed Jack with a very distinct look. "Reminds me of my friend Xander. First friend I made after I did the whole moving to a Hellmouth thing back in high school." Good memories.
Jack nodded. "He is sweet," he agreed. He looked at Ianto. "Don't you think he's sweet?"
"Very sweet," Ianto confirmed.
"He doesn't actually remind me of anyone," Jack continued. "But I guess we'll be going easy on him if he's making you nostalgic," he added with a smirk.
The women at the table shared an exasperated look, followed by Buffy shaking her head and tossing aside the now wadded up napkin. It bounced along for a moment before skittering off the edge of the table.
"I don't know why I bother," she told Gwen, then turned narrowed eyes on Jack and Ianto. "You two are incorrigible. Especially you, Mr. Swishy Coat."
Jack raised an indignant eyebrow. "My coat doesn't swish," he pointed out. "It billows."
Ianto turned his gaze to Buffy as well. "You pretty much deserve any abuse you get from me, at this point, Miss Dishes It Out All Day."
Buffy laughed in an amused, absolutely not at all innocent way. "I do, don't I?" she agreed with a grin.
She spotted Gwen's gaze move to over her shoulder and turned to see Rhys carefully approaching the table with another apple-tini in hand. "'s it safe to come back, or should I put in for a retreat?" he asked with a glance between Buffy and his wife.
Gwen chuckled quietly and gestured for him to sit down. "I think you're safe now, they've moved on to other things." Rhys was visibly relieved and handed the drink to a smiling vampire slayer.
They passed the evening with a couple more drinks and a lot more questions for Buffy once things loosened up, many of which Jack already knew the answers to. Like he'd told Ianto: they'd chatted in that extratemporal prison.
It was shortly after midnight when Jack looked at his watch.
"Alright, best finish up this round and call it a night," he suggested. "You're still due in at nine in the morning," he reminded them.
Buffy downed the rest of her drink as Rhys began to again sort of lean into Gwen. After the little opening routine, he'd definitely loosened up and shown the rest of them just how much he could drink... and where his limit was. The dopey look on his face really was a lot like Xander's.
"You're such a slave-driver, Harkness," she informed him with a scrunched-up-nose face before leaning back in her chair to stretch. "But, works for me. I've got a phone date to get to; he should be waking up about now for the night shift."
Jack laughed and addressed the rest of them. "You heard her, people. Drink up and get out. Buffy's got phone sex to get to!" he exclaimed.
Ianto rolled his eyes as he got up and grabbed Jack's coat. He slid it up over Jack's shoulders as the captain slipped his arms into the sleeves, then went over to the bar to pay their tab.
Buffy joined Ianto in a round of rolling eyes, then smirked at the way Rhys had seemingly perked up at the mention of sex. Such a guy.
While Gwen kept her husband from being plastered to the table, Buffy pulled on her own coat. "I'm almost dreading the day when you two actually meet," she told Jack as she checked to make sure the new cell phone was still safe in the pocket where she'd hid it after it was nearly coated in apple-tini. "He's going to get so many ideas."
"He will after I give him some ideas!" Jack replied cheerfully.
He glanced over his shoulder, but Ianto was stuck behind a drunk who was trying to pay with his card and seemed to be having trouble entering his PIN. Ianto caught Jack's eyes and shrugged. Jack turned his attention back to Buffy. "So," he continued. "Speaking of the day we two actually meet... when do you think that will be?" he asked casually.
Buffy glanced over to see that somehow Gwen had ended up in Rhys' lap and the two were giggling at each other. Ah, newlyweds. They never stopped being sickeningly sweet.
"Not for a very long time, if I have anything to say about it," she replied, putting her hands on her hips. "But since I probably don't... who knows. He likes to pop up unannounced sometimes. Having a job that pays to travel makes it kinda easy for him, and he loves it." Maybe a little too much, now that she thought about it.
Jack followed Buffy's gaze over to Gwen and Rhys, who were quite thoroughly wrapped up in each other now, in more than one sense of the word. "You two can go," Jack told them in a sing-song voice. "Ianto doesn't need your help paying the bill."
Buffy giggled as Gwen dragged Rhys up out of the chair and grabbed their coats.
"Right then, see you lot tomorrow!" Gwen called as they headed toward the front of the bar, managing to weave between people with relatively few casualties along the way.
Gwen and Rhys had departed and Ianto hadn't returned. Jack looked at Buffy, his expression serious again. "Do you want a lift home?" he asked. There was no teasing in his voice. It wasn't that he didn't think she could look after herself, but she was new to the city and the Hub wasn't far away.
Leaning her hip against the table, she glanced at Ianto and then back to Jack with a raised eyebrow. "Are you two gonna be able to behave yourselves that long?" she questioned him with a smirk. She knew the offer was serious, and was actually considering it, not looking forward to potentially getting lost in the middle of the night and ending up in even more desperate need of caffeine come morning.
Jack looked over at Ianto. "While he's wearing that?" he commented. He smirked. "Maybe," he said wickedly. He looked back at Buffy. "Honestly, we can give you a lift. It's no trouble."
Smiling softly, she nodded and looked up at him with that friendly, trusting gaze he'd earned during those weeks together. "A 'lift' would be great," she agreed, using the British terminology.
Returning her attention to Ianto, Buffy smirked. "He does look really good in that, doesn't he?" she said, stating the oh so obvious.
Jack grinned wolfishly. "I think I'm going to peel it off with my teeth," he said by way of agreement.
She laughed loudly and shook her head. "He really is going to get so many ideas," she said to herself, not entirely sure it was a bad thing.
Ianto returned to find them both laughing and eyed them suspiciously. "Do I want to know?" he asked warily.
"We're driving Buffy home," Jack told him.
Ianto nodded, still looking at them with suspicion. He was clearly still missing the punchline, but he didn't ask.
They headed for the door and Jack slipped his hand into Ianto's, intertwining their fingers. "Do you know how to get to Buffy's flat?" he asked. Ianto just gave him a look that asked if there was someplace in Cardiff Jack thought Ianto didn't know how to get to.
It was only once they'd gotten to the Hub and climbed into the SUV that Buffy felt at all motivated to potentially warn Ianto of his impending doom. "I hope you've got more of that neat paperwork," she said from her spot lounging in the back, "because I don't think Jack intends for your outfit to make it back to your closet without some strategically placed collateral damage."
Ianto glanced in the rearview mirror with a small degree of mortified shock, which he attempted to hide by turning his attention intently to the steering wheel while he started the car's engine. It wasn't Jack's potential intentions that had garnered the reaction - he was well aware of the kinds of things Jack got up to and, in fact, encouraged them - but the fact that he seemed to have discussed them with Buffy. Could he not leave them alone for five minutes? He looked over at Jack uncertainly. Jack smiled back and reached over to give his knee a reassuring squeeze.
Buffy giggled quietly and settled in for the ride, watching the city's lights streak past the window, getting to once again appreciate the beauty night could possess. So many years as the Slayer had dulled her appreciation for the little things; perhaps this new gig would help to set things right again.
When they finally came to a stop outside her building, she was more than a little sleepy, and more than a little eager to get away from the two of them, now that Jack had that look in his eye. They were definitely going to have a late night. She envied them.
Opening the door, she gave the obnoxiously adorable couple a smile and a little wave before climbing out. "See you two in the morning," she said. "Bright and early," she stressed sarcastically in Jack's general direction.
"I don't even need to sleep!" he called back before rolling up his window. He always told people that, but it wasn't, strictly, true. He did need to sleep, it was just that sleep deprivation wouldn't harm him as much as other people and certainly wouldn't kill him. He could go longer without sleep and without noticing the effects of a lack of it. He liked sleeping though. Well, he liked it now. It had been less alluring when he was alone.
Ianto drove them back to the Hub and parked the SUV in its usual spot for the night. He knew exactly how many clean suits he had in Jack's closet at any given time. There were three in there now, but he wasn't giving much thought to what to wear the next day.
Jack took his hand again as they walked into the Hub.
Buffy watched the SUV disappear around a corner before turning to head up to her apartment. She took the stairs, like always, not minding the few flights if it lessened her chances of getting stuck in an elevator. She didn't trust the world enough anymore to provide that sort of temptation and not expect something to act on it.
Walking into the darkened apartment, she nearly fell over a pile of boxes before she could fumble her way into the kitchen. Her things were piled onto the counter, where they would be at least relatively safe, and then she made a beeline for her phone. A few actually memorized numbers later, she collapsed onto her bed and curled up with the phone pressed to her ear.
"Hey you, am I late?"
Authors' Note: See, we're not dead! Just had to a pull a slight zombie act for a few weeks while midterms, RP, and real life in general drew our attention elsewhere. But we never stopped thinking of our little project, and the next few chapters will be full of excitement!
* Want to know when we post new chapters? Track when we post with the "so buffy met jack" tag!